Long Distance Relationships

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long distance relationships Mar 03, 2005
My friends reminded me that long distance relationship is impossible to survive here in UAE. Is that so? :roll:

sweet mary
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Mar 04, 2005
nothing is imposible is you care enough to try.

but if hte distance is more then a year. i very very very strongly recommend against it.
FAKESPIKE

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Mar 04, 2005
the only key is communication, it must never die out...
UAQ 846 AM PINOY FM sa AM
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Mar 04, 2005
It really depends on the two people involved and how long you have known eachother. If you have not met them for long before you come out, it is very hard as there is no "strong bond" between you.

If you have been together for a while, then you should be OK, but there are a lot of temptations here in Dubai.

Also, it's not easy being here when things happen as you have no one to talk to face to face. Over the phone is OK, but it's not the same.

Good luck whichever way it goes.
yorky500
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Mar 04, 2005
If you can avoid "long distance relationship" then its good. But if you cant really avoid it then you have to be prepared. Anything can happen, specially if your relationship is new. Im not saying something will happen but anyhing is possible. Just dont stop your good communication.



Cheers!!!
Megabytes2004
:D
megabytes2004
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TRY THIS. Mar 04, 2005
yorky500 wrote:It really depends on the two people involved and how long you have known eachother. If you have not met them for long before you come out, it is very hard as there is no "strong bond" between you.

If you have been together for a while, then you should be OK, but there are a lot of temptations here in Dubai.

Also, it's not easy being here when things happen as you have no one to talk to face to face. Over the phone is OK, but it's not the same.

Good luck whichever way it goes.


True,...

but sometimes its not how long you stayed or have known together,.. its rather how you understand eachother, and how you guys parted, and how is your arrangements, but then again even how much you wanted it to las or strive to keep it alive, shit happens and all efforts would just be at lost...
my suggestion:
Why not make a nutral agreement, like while your away you'll be friends, then if time comes that you get together and you still feel the same way and both off you are still single, then you can get back together.

GOOD POINTS,.. you go home, and find that he/she is still single and get to live happily ever after...

BAD but STILL GOOD POINT,.... if you or him suddenly decide that you wanted someone new... YOU LOST A LOVER ... YES ... BUT IN THIS CASE, YOU GET TO SAY GOOD BYE TO YOUR LOVER WITHOUT CHEATING, HUMILIATIONS AND FIGHT. (VICE VERSA) SO AT THE TIME YOU LOST A LOVER ..YOU GAINED A BEST FRIEND.

EXTREMELY BAD POINT: HE/ SHE DIDNT LIKE THE OFFER OF AGREEMENT AND DECIDED TO LEAVE YOU,... AND NEVER CALL YOU AGAIN
WELL IF THAT HAPPENS ... LEAVE THE princess/BASTARD CAUSE IF THEY CAN GIVE UP ON YOU FROM A SMALL SACRIFICE WHAT MORE WHEN YOUR MARRIED?... SO ... ITS STILL NOT BAD CAUSE YOU GET TO KNOW THE REAL THEM .... EARLY ... GOOD RIDDANCE.....

WELL IF YOUR ALREADY MARRIED ... THEN YOU HAVE TO GET HIM/HER A JOB HERE CAUSE AS WHAT YORKY SAID ON THE FONE IS GOOD BUT ... ITS TOTALLY DIFF IN PERSON.




good luck!!!!!
:) M.S.L :)
UAQ 846 AM PINOY FM sa AM
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Mar 05, 2005
Why not make a nutral agreement, like while your away you'll be friends, then if time comes that you get together and you still feel the same way and both off you are still single, then you can get back together.


In that case, where's the COMMITMENT?! :roll: :?: your basically suggesting to cool it off.
sweet mary
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not a cool off Mar 05, 2005
Cooling off and BEING FRiends are two totally diff. things ,...
when you say cooling off ... as written cooling off!!
it means GIVING UP ,
while when you become friends, your still warm but keeping your doors open, and your love that you feel for eachother would still be there
thats why you two should keep in touch...
its giving love unconditionally,..
love should not be forced nor does comitment...

in this way .... at the end when you find that he/she is waiting then you would know that, that is love,.....

remember YOU CAN NEVER FIND OUT if a person's love is TRUE by restricting him/her you would only push that person away,..


while usually in most relationship,.. specially long distance .... it fails because of lack of trust due to the strains of "comitment" where the string would eventually choke you.

"if you love someone set him/her free... when he/she returns... then you would know he/she's yours .."

and besides.... we have no right to restrict other people of the things they should do.. or feel .... its best to give them a chance to do the things or feel the things you want them feel on their own. (time, self,)

but then again ... thats my opinion ..... we all have diff. opinion ... (avoiding a forum debate :) :lol: )
UAQ 846 AM PINOY FM sa AM
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Mar 05, 2005
just one sentence answer :

Long Distance Relationship NEVER WORKS!!
leila
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Mar 15, 2005
on my personal view, cool off is just letting your partner to have an ample space and time if they feel that their relationship become suffocating! Allowing yourself to think and evaluate what's happening...On the ortherhand, breaking up is cutting every thread of your relationship.

cool off is just a pause, a comma in a relationship while breaking up is period.

COMMITMENT requires devotion and love. This is the essence of a relationship. You will never feel you are just forced. Cuz what you did is unconditional.

I think it's not advisable to play around and wait for the what if's and how if's... the precious potencial partner might stealed by someone else... who basically believes in commitment...you will never know.

ANYBODY here who has personal,if not inspiring, juz reliable experience with long distance relationship?
sweet mary
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Mar 15, 2005
sweet mary,

yes, I do, and they do not work.

Where is that person when you need them most? At the end of the phone does not cut it. You are out with your friends and there g/f's and or b/f's and you are by yourself! where is he/she?

where are they when you have a bad day at work, to share you highs and lows? when you go out and see something, where are they?

Sorry, it does not cut it. Love is strong, they may say that "absence makes the heart grow fonder", but sorry, if you have nobody to turn to, where is your other half. Face reality!
yorky500
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Mar 15, 2005
thanks for the sensible opinion. got a good point.
sweet mary
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Mar 15, 2005
sweet mary,

let me ask you something. being married is out of this equation, ok. So assume you are not married but in a relationship.

You go out one night in Sharjah or Dubai, and you meet someone who you think is really nice and you hit it off with him. You get on great, what about your b/f in the other country?

This guy can spend time with you, do things with you, share thoughts and feelings with you! Share your highs and lows, you see where I am coming from?
yorky500
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Mar 15, 2005
you're pretty much understood! I gonna give you another medal as glory did!

nyway,what a scenario!

Well, i think i need to give up if and only if the fire of love has gone. Cuz if you considered yourself COMMITED you can't let go of this invisible tie, the bond which will always remind you that you are already 'TAKEN'. Just wishing my partner thinks the same way.

still i wanna play dumb, lemme ask this question. thinking of those hundred of married peeps having undefined realtionship, those guys and gurls cheating with their partners(bfs/gfs) back home and the broken relationship and promises.... how difficult is it to resist temptation here?
sweet mary
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Mar 16, 2005
[color=red]Desire is Desire....WHEREVER you go....The sun will not bleach it, nor the tide wash it away..[/color]

In my opinion...you gotta live ur life & do what makes u happy. Havin sumone on the other side of the world...can make u happy at times, but when u need that person to physically BE THERE...it only leaves u feeling empty.

LOng distance requires an insane amount of willpower :lol: & i always think "What if im passing by an amazing opportunity or person?" i think its best to just have a clean break before any departure to a faraway place. if you're meant to get back together again...it will surely happen. Also if your in a long term relationship..maybe its a good time to hav a look at what you've been missing. i guess it boils down to what type of person u are..an opportunist? :wink: or are u the type who chills in a comfort zone? 8)
RiFQa
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it never works Mar 16, 2005
DEAR SWEETY

I SHALL TRY TO SHELL IT IN FEW WORDS THOUGH PRACTICAL

i lost my 10 years love, on being long distance for two years.
ziajaveds
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Mar 16, 2005
sweet mary wrote:

still i wanna play dumb, lemme ask this question. thinking of those hundred of married peeps having undefined realtionship, those guys and gurls cheating with their partners(bfs/gfs) back home and the broken relationship and promises.... how difficult is it to resist temptation here?


Not just here, but anywhere in the world for that matter. here is no different to London, Hong Kong, NY or wherever. If you are moving to a country for a long period and you have a relationship (bf/gf) then it best to break it off if they are not coming with you or planning on joining you later.

No matter what happens, YOU change, the other person does not. You are seeing different things, meeting different people from different cultures, which you bf/gf back home are NOT. YOU change.

OK, here's a leading question: You meet someone who is nice, easy going, sensitive and overall nice, and can offer you a life better than you would with your current b/f. What do YOU do?
yorky500
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Mar 16, 2005
not unless i lose the spark and magic with my bf, and fall inlove with this 'someone' even if i resisted, then I think it's time to break off with him.

Any sensible comments from the ladies' side?...
sweet mary
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Mar 16, 2005
"love is fickle, love is blind ......................."
yorky500
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Mar 16, 2005
lolzz :lol: :wink:
sweet mary
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Mar 16, 2005
well, anybody would do the same. We all need some one close to us, not far away!
yorky500
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Mar 16, 2005
:scratch: :scratch: :roll: hmmmmm.... yeah....
sweet mary
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Mar 16, 2005
Ziajaveds has said it all. He lost his 10yrs relationship of being 2 yrs apart, I lost my 6++yrs relationship of being 6 mos. apart. Tried to work it out, but couldn't. World just became different.

A bond or committment should not make you suffer of loneliness because you are taken. You need the person to be there, to talk to, to cry on, to hold you and tell you that everything is gonna be alright. It makes a lot of difference.

It never really works especially if you already established a career somewhere else.

And the hardest part of it is, starting anew, getting to know, starting from scratch, adjustment stage. Not again! Its like you have a set of expectations outlined for the next guy and if he can't comply, you're gonna end up heartbroken.
leila
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Mar 17, 2005
And the hardest part of it is, starting anew, getting to know, starting from scratch, adjustment stage. Not again! Its like you have a set of expectations outlined for the next guy and if he can't comply, you're gonna end up heartbroken.


would that mean, on your experience there's no third party involved? how come you gave up just cuz of the distance, where you know from the start that working abroad will mean thousand of miles away? So how about the love for 6++ years?!
sweet mary
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Hey... Glory Mar 17, 2005
An important reason I visit this forum is to read your one liners!! :-).
sa4877
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Mar 17, 2005
An important reason I visit this forum is to read your one liners!! .


glory's avid fan?! :lol: :lol: :lol:
sweet mary
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Mar 17, 2005
Yes, just simply because of that.
leila
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Mar 21, 2005
Long distance relationships are next to impossible to sustain. but I think if you start from a solid base of friendship when you meet again you could pick up where you left off. Love doesn't die just because someone isn't physically able to be with you.
But you have to be realistic -- life can't stand still. You have to be able to live your life in the present. You can't be living for the next meeting or the time you are finally together. its too intense and I think you stand still as a person.

I was in a long distance relationship which I ended before I came to dubai. My boyfriend ( I shoudl say ex...) left SA to travel last July and we continued our relationship. i saw him once in October and it was great . But ultimately I couldn't handle the uncertainty of it and the wondering when we'd be together again so I gave myself and him some certainty....
anyway we talk as much as we did when we were officially together. he's still my greatest support even if he's not with me.

long distance is not for the faint hearted. even if in this age of seemingly easy communication....
Kalay
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Mar 21, 2005
sweet mary wrote:
And the hardest part of it is, starting anew, getting to know, starting from scratch, adjustment stage. Not again! Its like you have a set of expectations outlined for the next guy and if he can't comply, you're gonna end up heartbroken.


would that mean, on your experience there's no third party involved? how come you gave up just cuz of the distance, where you know from the start that working abroad will mean thousand of miles away? So how about the love for 6++ years?!


hi my old friend ... LETS GET REAL !!!!!!! LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP GOT ONLy 10 % chance of success so ... a real peice of advice ..

Leave as FRIENDs ... in that case he/she would be yours forever ....
rather than leave as lovers and fight a loosing battle ... where at the end you know bad words would be given, with shatterd trust and posibly violent reactions.

while with friends ... if all works out well and you come back ... he's or you are still single then you can continue what you've started...

so the Q is ... what he found someone while ur gone....??? accept it and be happy for him. it only means that your not meant for each other.. and i advice you to do the same. and be happy to know that even though he has someone you know that you didnt loose him ... because he's your friend...

now isnt that a prettier picture ....

than going through agonizing 3-4 years of restrictions, jealousy miss trust ... i mean LETS BE real all long distance relationship suffer from this dillema, and 90 perscent of them end up in flames !!!, some call them names they wont even call their enemies, some killed themselves, some killed, etc. etc. ...

another Q' why are they reacting like that ??? because trust was broken.. and they all felt cheated, betrayed... by someone who they love ... trust ...
and pride comes to play to....

so ... if you really treasure and love the guy ... make friends with him ... and see when you come back .... its a win win situation ....

good = you get back together ...
bad = you lost him but you have a friend ...

GOOD LUCK !!
mAJOR pAIN
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Mar 21, 2005
[quote="Kalay"]Long distance relationships are next to impossible to sustain. but I think if you start from a solid base of friendship when you meet again you could pick up where you left off.


so true !!!!!!!!!
mAJOR pAIN
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