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who was chosen for me because of other reasons, like how much money he makes, or his family connections etc.

Nucleus, I don't mean to judge, and I was only pointing out that arranged marriage is idealised when really it has as many flaws as a love marriage. I never claimed that people don't cheat in both kinds of marriages. All I am saying is that it doesn't matter when the "commitment" comes in the relationship - because the commitment means nothing if the people don't really mean it and adhere to it.

In my opinion, lust and love is very important in a marriage. Some arranged marriages see lust and love develop, some don't. I can't imagine marrying and living together with someone I don't love and am not s.e.xually attracted to - who was chosen for me because of other reasons, like how much money he makes, or his family connections etc. I know that this is the norm in some cultures, but it wouldn't fly with me. Also, after I have seen some documentaries on human pair bonding I realise that lust and attraction definitely have their role in producing stronger humans with desirable characteristics. For example, there was one show that talked about smell. Male subjects sniffed t-shirts worn over a few nights by various women. The men had to say which t-shirt attracted them the most. (No perfumes etc. allowed for the females, only natural body smell). When they tested the immunities of the male and female subjects and looked at the t-shirts and corresponding women the men chose, the immunities complimented each other (meaning broad spectrum - each having some immunity that the other doesn't have). This means that if those two mated and produced a child, their child would receive the immunity from both parents and be healthier and stronger. With all of our senses and instincts humans know how to indentify a good mating match. Even if a pair bond doesn't work out in the end, it could be true that any children produced are strong and healthy, which is needed for propagation of the species. Essentially, nature doesn't seem to care about marriage - it only cares about strong offspring.

Chocoholic wrote:See FeiPO, that's the other thing, it's still the 'woman' that is expected to give up all her things and put her career on hold if she wants to start a family. Many companies go nuts if they find out one of their staff is pregnant, it seems women are still very much penalised for doing what it is we're naturally built to do.

Things are starting to change a little however I think there are a lot of stay at home dads these days in certain countries.

DaveDXB wrote:

kanelli wrote:But Wafaey, my point was there are many men who expect their wife to work 8 hrs, plus look after kids, plus clean the house and cook the meals, plus be a lover. If she can't handle it, she is treated like a bad employee, bad mother, bad wife. The pressure can come from within women themselves, but I wanted to point out that it comes from the men as well sometimes.

yeah, i like this new type of lifestyle for ladies...keep her busy rather than watching her getting fatter day by day moaning (complaining) like a cow abt all her dam problems........