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2 months ago, this guy (J) in my college said hi to me and i smiled back, after that he always said hi and we became friends, well not very good friends as we were not seeing each other much. i hang around with different friends. so with him it's has always been hi, how r u? that's it.

but last week while i was with my other friends J came up to me and said i want to talk to u,it's important, i said okay but he is like not here ( he didn't wanted to talk to me infront of my friends)he said,
just give me 10min and lets go and sit there( he pointed to this place).

Rest of the conversation goes like this
Me:- what is the important thing?
(He didn’t say anything)
Me again:- we don’t even know each other very well, what can be so important?

J:-yesterday when you were leaving the lab(computer lab) and said bye to me
Me:- yeah
J:-this guy came up to me and asked about you. He was asking if I was ur friend, and how long have i known your for? She is pretty and then I said yeah she is very pretty.
Me:- was that the important thing?
J:- no that’s not want I wanted to say. I am just telling that this guy was asking about you

After a minute of silence

J:- u are very important to me
(I laughed my head off, as I was not expecting this from him, and the way he said it)
Me:-we are just friends and I don’t want to go any further than that.
Silence
J:- u know what? When that guy said u are pretty. I was like why the hell is he saying it.
silence
J:- u are very prety alina
I smiled
J:- I want to invite you on Saturday
Me:- sorry I am busy I won’t be able come (I didn’t want to go, as I don’t even know him much)
Me:- I have to go, I have class
J:- I’ll walk with you……alina do u know u are very pretty ?
Me:- ask others .don't talk about my looks, i get shy
And then I changed the topic and said bye

But after that day, j ginores me, he still says hi when he sees me. But he is not like b4. I can tell he trys to hide now.

So what’s wrong why did he change? My best friend says he is embarrassed, he got rejected, guyz don’t like it when they get rejected.

One more thing, guyz always have guts to come up to me and talk to me because I am very friendly which gives them hope. My best friend gave me this advice…. Don’t be friendly to anyone.. just act rude.

So 2 question to ask?

WHY DID HE CHANGE?
DO I NEED TO GET RUDE AND NOT BE FRIENDLY?

Boring. How cares?

Its a basic defence mechanism ..... he likes you .... you dont like him .... therefore its painful for him to be around you .... so he changes his behaviour patterns

ajb wrote:Its a basic defence mechanism ..... he likes you .... you dont like him .... therefore its painful for him to be around you .... so he changes his behaviour patterns

i think that sums it up

If I understand correctly, his J guy became jealous when some other guy asked about you, and so he decided to ask you out himself. Then you said no - rejecting his invitation.

You say that you don't know him so didn't want to go out with him. How can you get to know him if you don't spend time with him? If you don't find him attractive or interesting and said no for that reason, then why do you care if he speaks to you much or not? He still says hi. Isn't that enough for you?

You rejected his invitation, so why do you still want to receive his attention? Sounds like you want this guy to pine over you, even though you aren't interested in him. That sounds a bit egotistical to me.

This guy got shot down and will now focus his attention elsewhere - what is so complicated about that?

Whats up with all the children coming here asking dumb questions lately?

what the hell?
i just replied to the same post in another section

Its probably Hiya's younger brothers and sisters in training.

arniegang wrote:Its probably Hiya's younger brothers and sisters in training.

And there was me going to ask a relationship question (obviously in the correct forum). But if people are just gonna think its a daft question, I'll just make an idiot of myself as per usual!!

MY OPINION !!

1) He is ignoring coz u'll be more concerned abt him and will look forward to talk and give him more attention (possibility)

2) Often people take advantage of being friendly, they think ur caring, sweet, loving and finally propose but gals are smart , ones the flirting part is over . . and the proposal comes "opphhsss sorry u r mistaken" so often guys are confused !!

So my advice is : don't over do and if u really love someone "speak it out, don't drag him"

nice !

alina i guess
J wants to grab ur attention..... and i guess he is done that !!!

What I do when a guy tells me
he loves me & all what he means to me
is "just a friend".... When I tell him he's just
a friend<-- if he doesn't accept it, then
I try to keep myself away, not to hurt him....
I'll still talk to him like sayin Hi & see wats up
with him! not more than that, if he kept
with the naggin about I LOVE YOU, then
no talkin is better I guess!!!!!!

Liban wrote:Whats up with all the children coming here asking dumb questions lately?

Hey dude, u grow up & learn how to respect
who's younger than YOU, just like you respect older
people. We're all should be respected no matter
how old are we, yeah!

"No hard feelings"

The day these children stop annoying us with their trivial problems is the day I will think of respecting them....

The guys pride is hurt that's all. After the other boy was asking about you, he probably realised that he really likes you and you shot him down. HE had guts to say what he did, you could have been a bit more tactful, so of course he's going to avoid you, he's hurt.

No don't ever be rude to people, there are ways and means of expressing yourself to make it clear you just want to be friends and nothing more.

But carry on as you are and you'll be known as a tease, and not in a good way!

i say you are the one who is being confusing .. and weird!

arniegang wrote:Its probably Hiya's younger brothers and sisters in training.

hiya's family?????????? r there more brothers and sister?????????

alina_4u wrote:2 months ago, this guy (J) in my college said hi to me and i smiled back, after that he always said hi and we became friends, well not very good friends as we were not seeing each other much. i hang around with different friends. so with him it's has always been hi, how r u? that's it.

but last week while i was with my other friends J came up to me and said i want to talk to u,it's important, i said okay but he is like not here ( he didn't wanted to talk to me infront of my friends)he said,
just give me 10min and lets go and sit there( he pointed to this place).

Rest of the conversation goes like this
Me:- what is the important thing?
(He didn’t say anything)
Me again:- we don’t even know each other very well, what can be so important?

J:-yesterday when you were leaving the lab(computer lab) and said bye to me
Me:- yeah
J:-this guy came up to me and asked about you. He was asking if I was ur friend, and how long have i known your for? She is pretty and then I said yeah she is very pretty.
Me:- was that the important thing?
J:- no that’s not want I wanted to say. I am just telling that this guy was asking about you

After a minute of silence

J:- u are very important to me
(I laughed my head off, as I was not expecting this from him, and the way he said it)
Me:-we are just friends and I don’t want to go any further than that.
Silence
J:- u know what? When that guy said u are pretty. I was like why the hell is he saying it.
silence
J:- u are very prety alina
I smiled
J:- I want to invite you on Saturday
Me:- sorry I am busy I won’t be able come (I didn’t want to go, as I don’t even know him much)
Me:- I have to go, I have class
J:- I’ll walk with you……alina do u know u are very pretty ?
Me:- ask others .don't talk about my looks, i get shy
And then I changed the topic and said bye

But after that day, j ginores me, he still says hi when he sees me. But he is not like b4. I can tell he trys to hide now.

So what’s wrong why did he change? My best friend says he is embarrassed, he got rejected, guyz don’t like it when they get rejected.

One more thing, guyz always have guts to come up to me and talk to me because I am very friendly which gives them hope. My best friend gave me this advice…. Don’t be friendly to anyone.. just act rude.

So 2 question to ask?

WHY DID HE CHANGE?
DO I NEED TO GET RUDE AND NOT BE FRIENDLY?

girl!!!!! u don't have to be rude, just make it clear for him. if u don't like him than tell him to keep the distance and that's that! no need for being rude!
and one more thing, don't flirt and smile to a guy u don't like and so u wont have troubles! why u were surprised that he came after u if u smile back at him????

liban, can i ask u something?

what are discussion froums for? to discuss stuff right? then what is ur problem.? i asked this question coz i was confused .what was so childish about that?

i don't even know u very well but whoever u are , u r just jealous.... u see it's not very easy tp get love these days. it's very hard to get girls coming after boys or boys coming after girls. but for me it has never been like that, i get who i want. this was the first weird thing happened to me. i rejected guyz b4 too but they didn't chaned like he did... i wish i could tell the whole story.

and to all those who are saying ..don't expect him to come back ... i am not...

when i said i want to remain friends, why did he change ?i find him rude now ,the way he treats me, the way he looks at me... and i don't think i said anythign wrong to him

Er you laughed in the guys face and humiliated him, that's why he doesn't want to know you dear! Don't rub salt in the wounds by saying 'lets just be friends' that's just sad, get over it and go find another guy to lead on then drop.

Liban wrote:The day these children stop annoying us with their trivial problems is the day I will think of respecting them....

ha-ha-ha
-kicks ur butt- go get a life

Alina, there's a perfectly reasonable anatomical answer to your question.

Guys have 2 brains - one in their heads and one in their... lets just say pants. This is also a case where size does not matter, cause the bigger brain doesn't always have the last word.