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Extremely important advice and recommendations to be passed on to wives,
girlfriends, fiancés, mothers, sisters, daughters, etc. (to all women in
general) These rules are to be communicated prior to the World Cup in
June/July this year...

LIST OF RULES

1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it wont happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".

8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a ) I will not go,
b ) I will not go, and
c ) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.

Thank you for your co-operation.

Regards,

Men of the World

I will deliberately and purposfully spill any drinks that happen to be in my hand over the sports pages of any and all newspapers that come into the house.

Get yer own box and TV and banish yourself to the spare bedroom to watch the 'ugly' game.

I will be partying mostly with my friends and going out all the time.

Get yer own damn beer.

Chips, dips and general munchies will not be stocked during this period, if you want them, buy them yourself.

TOTP, CSI, East Enders, Casualty, MTV, FTV, VH1 and Animal Planet will not be interupted at any point.

LOL LMAOROF Maad,

real cool ,

Cheers,

Jerry

lolllllll Maaad! good one. i had a great laugh but still i must say. ThankGOd that world cup is only 1/4 years.
so expect to get a break up every 4 years, or if u want to prevent it send ur gf/wife in a hollyday to a tropical island or whatever she wants, let her enjoy the sun and SPA; this way u will enjoy ur games and she will come home more relaxed...IF she decides to come back before Premiere League

Chocoholic wrote:I will deliberately and purposfully spill any drinks that happen to be in my hand over the sports pages of any and all newspapers that come into the house.

Get yer own box and TV and banish yourself to the spare bedroom to watch the 'ugly' game.

I will be partying mostly with my friends and going out all the time.

Get yer own damn beer.

Chips, dips and general munchies will not be stocked during this period, if you want them, buy them yourself.

TOTP, CSI, East Enders, Casualty, MTV, FTV, VH1 and Animal Planet will not be interupted at any point.

Ouch !!
Now that's one wild cat !

Palkid7 wrote:

Chocoholic wrote:I will deliberately and purposfully spill any drinks that happen to be in my hand over the sports pages of any and all newspapers that come into the house.

Get yer own box and TV and banish yourself to the spare bedroom to watch the 'ugly' game.

I will be partying mostly with my friends and going out all the time.

Get yer own damn beer.

Chips, dips and general munchies will not be stocked during this period, if you want them, buy them yourself.

TOTP, CSI, East Enders, Casualty, MTV, FTV, VH1 and Animal Planet will not be interupted at any point.

Ouch !!
Now that's one wild cat !

I am sure there is someone who will tame her !

Just to announce that I shall be out partaying with Chocs, and all the other good looking chicks, girlfriends, yummy mummies, significant others and wives, whilst all their sad git menfolk are glued to their tv sets, drinking beer and munching dips and snacks whilst watching a bunch of namby pambies pointlessly chasing a ball around a park!

Guys, neglect your womenfolk at your peril!



Knight

Yay DK! Absolutely! I'd say the world cup is when the smart guys hit the town as they know all the girls are being neglected.

Party on!

What about the Milfs DK? Milfs need some lovin' too

XRW-147 wrote:What about the Milfs DK? Milfs need some lovin' too

True, but I thought I covered that in the Yummy Mummy category?



Knight

Sorry but when the action starts the real women will be nibbling on Nobby's nuts and carefully adjusting and checking the temperature gauge on the lager cooler .

The clubs and bars without a screen will be filled with those blokes with the cauliflower ears, bust-up noses and odd shaped balls .

Hey GB! Rugby is a mans game, footie is for wimps.

I AM A FEMALE...JUS TURNED 18 ..most of u know this by now..
DAD used to play professional football here in dubai.

I LOVE FOOTBALL SO IM KINDA ONE OF THE GUYS..
my mom HAS to follow this ..im going to print this out for her..lol

i even know the scores.....MY BF even calls me up to double check..hehehe....

d3vilish_ang3l_88 wrote:I AM A FEMALE...JUS TURNED 18 ..most of u know this by now..
DAD used to play professional football here in dubai.

I LOVE FOOTBALL SO IM KINDA ONE OF THE GUYS..
my mom HAS to follow this ..im going to print this out for her..lol

i even know the scores.....MY BF even calls me up to double check..hehehe....

I'm not sure you're really a girl!!!

how about just move in for the duration of the championship the beloved soap opera maniac mother in law? his mother in law

the_zooter wrote:

d3vilish_ang3l_88 wrote:I AM A FEMALE...JUS TURNED 18 ..most of u know this by now..
DAD used to play professional football here in dubai.

I LOVE FOOTBALL SO IM KINDA ONE OF THE GUYS..
my mom HAS to follow this ..im going to print this out for her..lol

i even know the scores.....MY BF even calls me up to double check..hehehe....

I'm not sure you're really a girl!!!

lol..im a girl.. ALL girl..hehehe

LOL! where do you go to college?

bad experience with a mother in law?

leelola wrote:LOL! where do you go to college?

lol...i dont knw if ur asking me..but im from zayed university lol..jus finished my freshmen year.

cheers to you!