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Doesn’t it feel that the older you get the more you start thinking that you do not want to have a relationship, may be friends of opposite s.e.x., but not a relationship. Everyone had something sad and painful happen being in a relationship, after that you are afraid to get burned again and are very cautious about dating, getting serious with opposite sex. Life seems to be a bit easier that way, however, at the same time, no one wants to be alone, I suppose, we all want to find that special someone and be with him/her. I know it is very confusing what I am talking about here; wanting to find someone you would want to be with for life and being afraid or thinking it is easier to just have friends and enjoy life without anyone special. What is your opinion on this, ever thought about it?

Some people are meant to be single. How you choose to live this life being single is completely up to you. You can grow old alone without anyone or you can live single but still very much involved with people. The latter of course is a lot better.....to grow old graciously.

For married people, its the usual happily ever after we all dream of living.

Torvalds wrote:Some people are meant to be single. How you choose to live this life being single is completely up to you. You can grow old alone without anyone or you can live single but still very much involved with people. The latter of course is a lot better.....to grow old graciously.

For married people, its the usual happily ever after we all dream of living.

And usually this dream never come true

IMJ wrote:Doesn’t it feel that the older you get the more you start thinking that you do not want to have a relationship, may be friends of opposite s.e.x., but not a relationship. Everyone had something sad and painful happen being in a relationship, after that you are afraid to get burned again and are very cautious about dating, getting serious with opposite fun. Life seems to be a bit easier that way, however, at the same time, no one wants to be alone, I suppose, we all want to find that special someone and be with him/her. I know it is very confusing what I am talking about here; wanting to find someone you would want to be with for life and being afraid or thinking it is easier to just have friends and enjoy life without anyone special. What is your opinion on this, ever thought about it?

This is exactly what I think... but when I`m lost of tonus.

In fact, it sounds as the situation of no alternative: it`s better to be alone than with Anyone (who is not Someone).

IMJ, I wish you more of strength & optimism!

you start out with all the optimism in the world...you find "the one"...3 years later you're re "re-thinking" everything...and the pain of dealing with is...i dont even want to begin...IMJ i see where you're tryin to get at or be in the state of mind...but i guess thats possible in an ideal world...the rest of the time you have to pretend to be somebody else to get someone you think you desire...but you're probably lonely and filling an empty space...it seems more and more people like the idea of being single...wish there was a win win situation to that...there never is...unless you wanna be a film noir hero on a rainy night...though i love my alone time and can't get enough of it...

Torvalds wrote:For married people, its the usual happily ever after we all dream of living.

A lot of hard work helps you find and maintain the "happily ever after".

Happy Ever After doesnt exist in itself.

It is only what you make it ,and how hard you work at it, to make it exist.

It is therefore only a result of how we as individuals, perform within a relationship.

[quote="arniegang"]Happy Ever After doesnt exist in itself.

It is only what you make it ,and how hard you work at it, to make it exist.

It is therefore only a result of how we as individuals, perform within a relationship.[/quote]

I second arniegang. Any relationship has the potential be a success or a failure. Only if [b]BOTH[/b] partners realize this and work on it, then there is a chance for a "happy ever after".

People there is nothing called happy ever after. There is ups and downs in every relationship. If anyone in any kind of relationship tells you that he/she never fight with their partner then the r lying.

IMJ wrote:Doesn’t it feel that the older you get the more you start thinking that you do not want to have a relationship, may be friends of opposite s.e.x., but not a relationship. Everyone had something sad and painful happen being in a relationship, after that you are afraid to get burned again and are very cautious about dating, getting serious with opposite fun. Life seems to be a bit easier that way, however, at the same time, no one wants to be alone, I suppose, we all want to find that special someone and be with him/her. I know it is very confusing what I am talking about here; wanting to find someone you would want to be with for life and being afraid or thinking it is easier to just have friends and enjoy life without anyone special. What is your opinion on this, ever thought about it?

we all get burned but after recovery, we still come arround the fire. and sure all individuals dream of an ideal neverending love story but waking up will make the perfect shiny dream go away in a second!i have learned that as long as u will keep it real u wont get hurt! even if u r with the head in the clouds, keep ur feet on the ground. form my point of view i think it's worth it to try, cause if u wont date anyone only by fearing that it wont go like u planned than the real love will pass by u and u will say NO THANKS CAUSE I AM AFFRAID?
go for it1

constantine wrote:you start out with all the optimism in the world...you find "the one"...3 years later you're re "re-thinking" everything...and the pain of dealing with is...i dont even want to begin...IMJ i see where you're tryin to get at or be in the state of mind...but i guess thats possible in an ideal world...the rest of the time you have to pretend to be somebody else to get someone you think you desire...but you're probably lonely and filling an empty space...it seems more and more people like the idea of being single...wish there was a win win situation to that...there never is...unless you wanna be a film noir hero on a rainy night...though i love my alone time and can't get enough of it...

well, i agree, everything starts like a happy thing, all is perfect and u are having fun, when something goes very wrong, it is hard to start a relationship with a new person, sometimes i think how ppl ever get married in this world, a lot of times i see girls just using guys to get out of their home place or have better life, things like that, it is hard to imagine to live with someone who u do not love, u know what i mean. Anyway, u all got a felling that i am all sad and lonely, i am not, far from it actually, just had these thoughts for a while now, wanted to see if other ppl ever think about the same. i like to be alone; it is less complications that way, however, i would not want to always be alone and it is harder and harder to like ppl and start having feelings to them. i think the older u get, the more picky u become, lol

talking about hard work to make it a good relationship, i know that love is not enough and u gotta work to make things work, but sometimes things just do not work, no matter how hard u try, it is just like it is not meant to be.

alexandra wrote:

IMJ wrote:Doesn’t it feel that the older you get the more you start thinking that you do not want to have a relationship, may be friends of opposite s.e.x., but not a relationship. Everyone had something sad and painful happen being in a relationship, after that you are afraid to get burned again and are very cautious about dating, getting serious with opposite fun. Life seems to be a bit easier that way, however, at the same time, no one wants to be alone, I suppose, we all want to find that special someone and be with him/her. I know it is very confusing what I am talking about here; wanting to find someone you would want to be with for life and being afraid or thinking it is easier to just have friends and enjoy life without anyone special. What is your opinion on this, ever thought about it?

we all get burned but after recovery, we still come arround the fire. and sure all individuals dream of an ideal neverending love story but waking up will make the perfect shiny dream go away in a second!i have learned that as long as u will keep it real u wont get hurt! even if u r with the head in the clouds, keep ur feet on the ground. form my point of view i think it's worth it to try, cause if u wont date anyone only by fearing that it wont go like u planned than the real love will pass by u and u will say NO THANKS CAUSE I AM AFFRAID?
go for it1

i did not say i do not date coz once i was hurt, no. i am over all the bad stuff and i like it as part of my life, it is an experiance and i am glad i have it, now it just seems i do not want anything serious i do not mean saying this i wanna go out with all the guys around me, i am just saying that if i am with someone, ok, i am, but it is not like before when u r falling in love and wanna spend the rest of ur life with that person, i do not have it any more, may be, have no met the right person,

IMJ wrote:

alexandra wrote:

IMJ wrote:Doesn’t it feel that the older you get the more you start thinking that you do not want to have a relationship, may be friends of opposite s.e.x., but not a relationship. Everyone had something sad and painful happen being in a relationship, after that you are afraid to get burned again and are very cautious about dating, getting serious with opposite fun. Life seems to be a bit easier that way, however, at the same time, no one wants to be alone, I suppose, we all want to find that special someone and be with him/her. I know it is very confusing what I am talking about here; wanting to find someone you would want to be with for life and being afraid or thinking it is easier to just have friends and enjoy life without anyone special. What is your opinion on this, ever thought about it?

we all get burned but after recovery, we still come arround the fire. and sure all individuals dream of an ideal neverending love story but waking up will make the perfect shiny dream go away in a second!i have learned that as long as u will keep it real u wont get hurt! even if u r with the head in the clouds, keep ur feet on the ground. form my point of view i think it's worth it to try, cause if u wont date anyone only by fearing that it wont go like u planned than the real love will pass by u and u will say NO THANKS CAUSE I AM AFFRAID?
go for it1

i did not say i do not date coz once i was hurt, no. i am over all the bad stuff and i like it as part of my life, it is an experiance and i am glad i have it, now it just seems i do not want anything serious i do not mean saying this i wanna go out with all the guys around me, i am just saying that if i am with someone, ok, i am, but it is not like before when u r falling in love and wanna spend the rest of ur life with that person, i do not have it any more, may be, have no met the right person,

Well give it some time IMJ. Anyway I like to think that falling inlove is like an adventure in the jungle, u can come out of it with a treasure or with some scars and u might come out with both. But in case u were wounded all u need is some time and then u will be ready for the next adventure, and you would have learned some new tricks and how to avoide snake traps

LIFE HAS MANY THINGS TO OFFER..take it or leave it...simple logic is you CHOOSE which road you take...as we wander life and experience the bitterness and sweetness of it, perhaps taught us of what we would become when we grow old..not all are experiencing pain as much as they experience the greatness of personal fulfillment ,..though we must face it..that once you get older you should be prepared of lifes REALITY be whom with Tom Cruize or tarzan doesnt matter..the question is....are you satisfied? then if not ...still smell the freshness of natures bounty and be yourself... be contented..and give your best shot!

good luck IMJ..

i did not say i do not date coz once i was hurt, no. i am over all the bad stuff and i like it as part of my life, it is an experiance and i am glad i have it, now it just seems i do not want anything serious i do not mean saying this i wanna go out with all the guys around me, i am just saying that if i am with someone, ok, i am, but it is not like before when u r falling in love and wanna spend the rest of ur life with that person, i do not have it any more, may be, have no met the right person,


wafaey: Well give it some time IMJ. Anyway I like to think that falling inlove is like an adventure in the jungle, u can come out of it with a treasure or with some scars and u might come out with both. But in case u were wounded all u need is some time and then u will be ready for the next adventure, and you would have learned some new tricks and how to avoide snake traps

thanks everyone for ur replies to the post. thanks for trying to comfort me, too, but as i said, i am not bitter or still hurt by the past, nothing like that, i am over it all. what i wanted to say was that as time goes by u start realising u stop pursuing same goals being in a relationship; view points and perspectives change.
thanks again, though

constantine wrote:you start out with all the optimism in the world...you find "the one"...3 years later you're re "re-thinking" everything...and the pain of dealing with is...i dont even want to begin...IMJ i see where you're tryin to get at or be in the state of mind...but i guess thats possible in an ideal world...the rest of the time you have to pretend to be somebody else to get someone you think you desire...but you're probably lonely and filling an empty space...it seems more and more people like the idea of being single...wish there was a win win situation to that...there never is...unless you wanna be a film noir hero on a rainy night...though i love my alone time and can't get enough of it...

It`s all from the lack of love. Most of ppl are intended to take it but not to give. If you don`t love, you only pretend to love or pretend to be loved, I guess (& I know!) it`s bothering. Better don`t, indeed! And better don`t even start without optimism. I wonder how people who really loved but met it unreturned, had their relation unhappy still have an optimism. Look, even on DF you can see this person, keeping this fire against of living that style: alone, just have friends etc. You know why? Cuz some people have a need to GIVE love. Cuz love itself give strength. This is from what that hard work about a relationship begins. I know I sound boring… but plz think, it`s true.