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I'm an 18 yearl old emirati girl. My parents are divorced and it ended very badly, my mom was hit occasionally and me and my siblings were too young to realise because my dad never did it infront of us, he would hit her and threaten her when she wouldn't listen to him, eventually she gathered the courage and tried to divorce him, it took about 6 years to officially leave through out that period she left the house often and would come back only because he wouldn't let her see her kids. After she left whatever problems he gave her turned to me for a couple of years I would tell him that I was still speaking to her and seeing her, but the lectures about how my mother was no a good person got too much for me to handle and now I see her without telling him, I feel bad for lying to him but I couldn't take the lectures. I started dating a non muslim foreigner more than a year ago I have introduced him to my family but they don't except him and want nothing to do with him, I have met his family and am inlove with them, they treat me like I was one of their kids. My father has been putting restrictions on me and not letting me out of the house I have abit of freedom but I can not take the lectures, he thinks I'm a liar and I won't deny that I have lied to him before, but he abuses me verbally and make me feel like a horrible person, if I argure with him or try to tell prove my point he'll tell me to shut up, call me a liar and other names, if I argue with him after he tells me to be quiet he'll hit me. I want to leave home and I told him once, he threatened to ruin my boyfriends life and his families. I can't go live with my mother because he'll ruin her life too and she's just started her new life and is finally semi happy. I want to leave and can not marry my boyfriend because I need my fathers permission. I need to leave my home. My brothers are all on my fathers side except for my younger brother, none of them speak to my mother because of the lies my father has told them. I need to know what to do. I can not live with them anymore.
Sorry for the long post.
Please help.

Well, you have to be realistic. The laws of the UAE do not recognize your right to independent thinking and action! So, if you cannot fight them, you must join them. For your own good.
What other alternatives are there for an 18 year old lady?

FF2 wrote:Well, you have to be realistic. The laws of the UAE do not recognize your right to independent thinking and action! So, if you cannot fight them, you must join them. For your own good.
What other alternatives are there for an 18 year old lady?

That is the advice from a man who thinks women should conform.

I say go for it! Plan your escape. You only have one life, this is not a dress rehearsal. Take your time. If you have access to money, put it aside. You can do it if you want to. Be a good actress for your family. Don't give them any cause for concern and when the time is right, leave.

Good luck!

Thank you BMreformed I appreciate the advice. I do plan on leaving but it will take sometime most probably a year or two, I intend on either transferring my credits from my current university and going abroad or getting a job overseas until then ill manage. Even if I do leave though I don't want to break my family ties, my father loves me for sure he just doesn't know how to show it. I forgot to mention this in my earlier post but my father is bipolar, he was diagnosed with it a couple of years back but just claims that the psychiatrist was making things up. Its quite evident that he is because one day hes a complete angel and the next he acts completely different and angry. I know he is a good man at heart and his intentions are good, even if I leave one day he will always be my father and I will always love and take care of him.

You can marry him in court, but he has to be muslim. And that is something else to consider too. Ask him about his thoughts on Islam and whether or not he would be interested in learning about Islam. Relationship of a husband and wife shapes both of their entire life in the future. Whatever you do has the potential to impact your entire life. Be patient, be mature, take your decisions with thought and reliance on Allah. He will guide you if you seek his guidance.

Nucleus wrote:but he has to be muslim.

This is true.


A-Emirati, I donot have any specific advice, just try not to burn any bridges.

Nucleus wrote:You can marry him in court, but he has to be muslim. And that is something else to consider too. Ask him about his thoughts on Islam and whether or not he would be interested in learning about Islam. Relationship of a husband and wife shapes both of their entire life in the future. Whatever you do has the potential to impact your entire life. Be patient, be mature, take your decisions with thought and reliance on Allah. He will guide you if you seek his guidance.

The only person she should rely on is herself. No one will come with a fairy wand when the going gets tough.

I am not a muslim but my family is. I know the UAE wont allow it so I plan on getting married else where.

BMreformed wrote:No one will come with a fairy wand when the going gets tough.

You are refering to prayers? It works wonders, at least did for me.

Nucleus wrote:

BMreformed wrote:No one will come with a fairy wand when the going gets tough.

You are refering to prayers? It works wonders, at least did for me.

Good for you Nucleus. Prayers don't do it for me. I prefer to rely on me. I don't let myself down.

I think Anon.emirati has had a surfeit of advice and will take one or the other.
Here is some advice for the advice-giver
A little ditty that has stood the test of time:

"If you your lips from slips would save,
Five things observe with care;
To whom you speak, of whom you speak;
And how, and when, and where."

Sound advice FF. You would do well to heed it!

Glad you think so. And I do!

BMreformed wrote:I prefer to rely on me. I don't let myself down.

Prayers doesn't mean person is not making an effort to get it done. No matter how much effort a person makes it may not happen, on the other, hand in situations there is no chance, but things start to happen. It is not as simple as just making an effort. Most importantly, it is also humbling oneself to the Creator.

AnonymousEmirati , ahh 18 ,

the age when you are all hormonal , and no brains.

the age when your life is led by your genitalia.

your dad is a jackass , but i think he is trying to protect your genialia from foriegn affairs.

especially since you are a born muslim. you arent allowed to have fun, as a muslim you are supposed to be respressed and confined.

but hey , its your life , go and have fun, pop that p*ssy

bossman ,

crudely put, but generally agree with you!

However:

bossman wrote:but hey , its your life , go and have fun, pop that p*ssy

can have unforeseen consequences not all of them beneficial or conducive for a life as A.emirati would have known it, considering her background.

Too big a sacrifice for just popping one's cherry??

Nucleus wrote:

BMreformed wrote:I prefer to rely on me. I don't let myself down.

Prayers doesn't mean person is not making an effort to get it done. No matter how much effort a person makes it may not happen, on the other, hand in situations there is no chance, but things start to happen. It is not as simple as just making an effort. Most importantly, it is also humbling oneself to the Creator.

I think that's very sweet Nucleus. It must be nice having something to rely on when the going gets tough.

BTW. I was wondering what you though about the lady saying she was not a Muslim when she was born into a Muslim family. Just curious on your thoughts on the matter.

--- Feb 14, 2013 ---

Bossman. Are you trying to impress someone with your crudeness?

For someone who claims to be highly educated and the employer of people, you are a very basic creature.

Please don't take that as a compliment.

Bossman probably listens to rap- like me Only in rap songs would you hear lines like pop that *you know what*. But yeah, I agree with him. Your situation is tough and what makes it worse is the fact that you are Emirati. As Nucleus said, you will have to discuss religion with him

prowheels wrote:Bossman probably listens to rap- like me Only in rap songs would you hear lines like pop that *you know what*. But yeah, I agree with him. Your situation is tough and what makes it worse is the fact that you are Emirati. As Nucleus said, you will have to discuss religion with him

Thanks funny Prowheels. You are right, many non English speakers get their language from rappers ans American gangsta movies. In reality I've never heard anyone actually use that horrible saying. Hence my opinion that Boss is trying to shock people. I think he is Zubber in disguise.

BMreformed ,who is zubber?

why are you so uptight on english? there are so many variables of it these days(hindglish ,chinglish etc ), english has evolved ,


FF2 , as i heard from people, muslims take advantage of their other orifices(oral , anal , nasal and godknows etc.) while maintaining the freshness seal. even if they are popped , i heard of some surgeries that can reseal the hymen even better than natural. what a culture!


prowheels ,yes i listen to a wide variety of music, i find rap funny, how they twist things around. you gotta be smart to rap.

bossman wrote:FF2 , as i heard from people, muslims take advantage of their other orifices(oral , anal , nasal and godknows etc.) while maintaining the freshness seal. even if they are popped , i heard of some surgeries that can reseal the hymen even better than natural. what a culture!

Nasal???
Yes, I've heard of Hymenoplasty. The following is from Time magazine:

"Once lost, virginity can never be replaced — but modern medicine now offers women a near-perfect physical simulation of their lost innocence. Hymenoplasty, the surgical reconstruction of the hymen broken during a women's first experience of intercourse, or, increasingly, during demanding exercise or as a result of a collision or fall by women who've never had s.ex, has prompted a growing number of young betrothed women in France to make a last-ditch attempt to avoid the humiliation, repudiation, and possibly violence that could result from husbands and families discovering from blood-free bridal sheets that their wedding night had not been their first sexual experience.

Hymenoplasty has generated renewed attention here in the wake of a court ruling last month in the northern city of Lille, which annulled a marriage on the basis of a husband's complaint that his wife had falsely promised that she was a virgin — a confession he obtained after furiously waving the new couple's spotless bedclothes before still-celebrating wedding guests. Though the decision made no mention of religion, the fact that the couple were Muslim sparked complaints that France's strictly secular state is being undermined by traditional Arab cultural strictures."



Read more: http://www.time.com/time/world/article/ ... z2KygSyASs

BMreformed wrote:I was wondering what you though about the lady saying she was not a Muslim when she was born into a Muslim family. Just curious on your thoughts on the matter.

No thoughts, in the end everyone is responsible for themselves only.

--- Fri Feb 15, 2013 8:40 pm ---

Not sure what is the issue with virginty, it is not really good measure to know if it is the right person you want spend life with. I know cpl of people who were pretty chaste in early life now just partying, booze, men, etc... not sure if a guy like me wants to have them as life partner. On the other hand, cpl people I know were pretty wild in the early life and now completely changed. Although as a general rule I guess most people will consider a virgin to be a safe bet.

Nucleus wrote:Not sure what is the issue with virginty

Nucleus, relationships between humans are complicated things. Sometimes, a look, a word, a turn of phrase, something said or left unsaid can make or break them forever. So, to make a few centimeters of tissue such as the hymen as the pivot on which to base an entire relationship is ridiculous in the extreme!

Unless one is an insensitive brute!

bossman With all due respect, the point here is not "poping my p*ssy" as you put it. If that was the case there wouldn't be a problem to begin with, the problem is I can not deal with it anymore.
My father might want to protect me but he has a horrible way of doing it and does it for all the wrong reasons.

Ive been thinking about moving out but im not sure if its allowed or not. I believe in the UAE a daughter is not allowed to leave her home unless she gets married, is that true? If I do move out I would definitely be able to pay for myself because I have a part time job which can pay for both rent and all other funds, I am also on a scholarship so Id be able to finish my education, I only have a year and a half of university left.

I know to most of you i am a lost 18 year old girl who thinks my life is unfair and that everyone is against me, I can not tell you that im not. I am very fortunate to have what I do and I know that some people are not as fortunate as I am, but I just can not take the constant verbal abuse and lectures. I hate the feeling I get when I see that he is calling my phone because I know as soon as I pick up the phone im in some sort of trouble. I am an average student, I have an average of B+ and i maintain my scholarship but even that isnt enough for him. No matter what I do, even if i go by everything he says he will find the smallest little thing and use it against me. He wants me to go to university and come straight home, go out for 5 hours on Thursday and stay in on the weekends.

If I had the choice I would runaway and leave everything behind but he threatened to hurt my boyfriend and his family and I cant have that on my conscious, I love them to bits.

--- Feb 18, 2013 ---

Also, I have already lost my verginity. Both my parents know.

--- Feb 18, 2013 ---

virginity*

AnonymousEmirati , good things your parents didnt burry you for being popped , you know , islamic culture.

yeah in dubai , with a men ratio like that , even a gremlin with AIDS can get its tiger popped

well if you got no money or job your shit outta luck. you have to live under your parents rules.

if you do have money , you cAN SIMPLY MOVE AWAY. if UAE isnt suitable move to the best country in the world , USA. god bless america , no-one else.

bossman wrote:AnonymousEmirati , good things your parents didnt burry you for being popped , you know , islamic culture.

yeah in dubai , with a men ratio like that , even a gremlin with AIDS can get its tiger popped

well if you got no money or job your tasty outta luck. you have to live under your parents rules.

if you do have money , you cAN SIMPLY MOVE AWAY. if UAE isnt suitable move to the best country in the world , USA. god bless america , no-one else.

Take no notice of what this crude individual writes. You should be unfortunate to read what he has written about Muslim men in Fight Club. He is a horrible individual.

BMreformed , were is this fight club? what are you talking about ?

bossman , Fight Club is a place on DF that you can read/post only if you have more than 500 posts to your credit.

Your post about Muslim men has been moved there, because it is an embarassing post (embarassing for YOU too). It was neither funny, nor informative. If anything, it was shameful, and deserved to be deleted altogether!!

AnonymousEmirati ,

Hello,



first of all, parents must be afraid about their children, and I don't disagree with that at all, but for me everything has a limit, and that is my opinion.

Usually these issues occur, because of the parents get divorced, and I know it's really hard, and it causes many problems.

If you want to go out you should take his agreement/or your brother, especially if you return home, and it is late, you should ask them at first, and Arab people know that they should ask their parents first, especially if she's a girl.



Hmm, for your problem, I advise you to speak with him frankly, and if nothing changes at all let someone interfere, maybe uncle/cousin, anyone who is close to your father to try to resolve the matter.



Usually, the father has the right in my opinion, because he aims to protect you, but sometimes it's too much, and I heard a few cases that the fathers are extremely making the life hard on their daughters. The father does this, because he's responsible for you, and he should protect you until you get married.




At the end he's your father, and try to resolve this issue without making the issue bigger than the current, and try to use the safe way.

As I said earlier let someone close to you, and to your father to try, and look into this issue, because some cases were resolved by this way.



Good luck.

FF2 ,



man , wish i could see how annoyed people get with that post. its not fair , they moved my shitstirring post and deny acess to me ( the creator)

500 posts!!! wow. how many people actually have acess to that, i only see few people here with more than 500 posts.