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kanelli · Mar 10, 2012

I'm not saying anything except that you spent many days away from your children over the years they studied abroad and you have no right to get snotty over how many hours another woman spends away from her children. It is false to assume that the only reason why your daughter has done well in life is because she attended boarding school, because there are many other factors involved and plenty of evidence that others have been just as successful for even more so and they did not attend boarding school.

Bethsmum · Mar 10, 2012

Well school is a much better enviroment, I would have thought, than what you are providing for your children in some foreign maid watching over them all hours of the day and night while you lecture everyone on an internet forum.

kanelli · Mar 10, 2012

BM, I had a domestic helper but not anymore. I miss her a lot, she is a wonderful person. We still Skype and email. We had a great time visiting her country and staying in her house and meeting all of her family. When the kids are older we are going to visit again.

What about all the other male forumers posting here all the time - you've never had a go at them for not spending all their time with their kids. You seem to have other standards for men and yourself than you have for other women you dislike on an internet forum. Meow!

Nucleus · Mar 10, 2012

There is a research done that showed children who were close to their mother have slightly bigger brain. Not sure why the brain is bigger, but here is an educated guess maybe the portion that feels love gets bigger.

Bethsmum · Mar 10, 2012

kanelli wrote:What about all the other male forumers posting here all the time - you've never had a go at them for not spending all their time with their kids

jeez, you said that before and I answered it. They don't spend 90% of their time here telling everyone how good they are lecturing others on morals and ethics. You should live and let live a bit Kanelli. Not everyone is as good as you, you know.

--- Sat Mar 10, 2012 8:26 pm ---

Nucleus wrote:There is a research done that showed children who were close to their mother have slightly bigger brain. Not sure why the brain is bigger, but here is an educated guess maybe the portion that feels love gets bigger

Research Nuclues. Come back when you have children of your own. I'm as close as you can get to two of my daughters. The other one was hijacked by a muslim.

kanelli · Mar 10, 2012

Nucleus, children need both of their parents and lots of love in general.

Bethsmum · Mar 10, 2012

kanelli wrote:Nucleus, children need both of their parents and lots of love in general

And a maid.

kanelli · Mar 10, 2012

Or a dormitory minder, or a teacher. :lol:

Bethsmum · Mar 10, 2012

I'm pleased to see you agree their is more to bringing up a child than two parents Kanelli. We should also remember that not all children are lucky enough to have both parents, for what ever reason.

There are some very successful and loving people who are orphans.

kanelli · Mar 10, 2012

That's right, even orphans can do well for themselves.

Nucleus · Mar 10, 2012

I'm talking about this research:

Nurturing a child early in life may help him or her develop a larger hippocampus, the brain region important for learning, memory and stress responses, a new study shows.

Previous animal research showed that early maternal support has a positive effect on a young rat's hippocampal growth, production of brain cells and ability to deal with stress. Studies in human children, on the other hand, found a connection between early social experiences and the volume of the amygdala, which helps regulate the processing and memory of emotional reactions. Numerous studies also have found that children raised in a nurturing environment typically do better in school and are more emotionally developed than their non-nurtured peers.

Brain images have now revealed that a mother’s love physically affects the volume of her child’s hippocampus. In the study, children of nurturing mothers had hippocampal volumes 10 percent larger than children whose mothers were not as nurturing. Research has suggested a link between a larger hippocampus and better memory.

"We can now say with confidence that the psychosocial environment has a material impact on the way the human brain develops," said Dr. Joan Luby, the study's lead researcher and a psychiatrist at the Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis, Mo. "It puts a very strong wind behind the sail of the idea that early nurturing of children positively affects their development."

http://www.livescience.com/18196-matern ... brain.html

I think we are not on the same page, of course you need both loving parents or orphans wouldn't do well, I didn't say anything opposing that. People without parental love can still do well.

kanelli · Mar 10, 2012

My favourite comment on the article - ""It's now clear that a caregiver's nurturing is not only good for the development of the child, but it actually physically changes the brain" Luby said, OR: "It's now clear that parents react more supportive to children who are endowed with larger hippocampal volumes." OR: "It's now clear that parents with larger hippocampal volumes are more capabel to support their children - and have a higher probability to have children with larger hippocampal volumes."" Daniel Soll, University of Marburg. He's nailed it that it doesn't seem that all variables were controlled for before making this conclusion.

Its not a good study to take conclusions from Nucleus.

shafique · Mar 10, 2012

Fascinating stuff.

But it appears that event horizon can't quite bring himself to condemn the American Christian terrorists. Sad that.

Cheers,

Shafique

Nucleus · Mar 10, 2012

kanelli wrote:""It's now clear that a caregiver's nurturing is not only good for the development of the child, but it actually physically changes the brain" Luby said, OR: "It's now clear that parents react more supportive to children who are endowed with larger hippocampal volumes."

That is actually quite clear, you can take children who didn't have mother's care giving in early development vs those who did. It is quite easy to separate the two.

kanelli · Mar 10, 2012

Nucleus , they are comparing it to the size of the hippocampal volumes, but they never controlled for size of parental hippocampal volumes or the fact that children's behaviour may be different with larger hippocampal volumes that may affect how parents react to the child or the child reacts to the parents etc. That was the point.

Nucleus · Mar 11, 2012

They are checking the sizes thorought the development period of a childs early growth. And there are significat difference between those who were with their mother and who were not. There is not one study but servral studies that showed this.

kanelli · Mar 11, 2012

Have you read the research articles Nucleus?

Nucleus · Mar 11, 2012

Yup few. This article goes in the opposite direction 'child abuse and brain volume' which adds to the support for the theory.

" Recent evidence about reduction in brain volume following child abuse and neglect is also outlined."

http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1 ... 1/abstract

kanelli · Mar 11, 2012

That's the abstract, not the whole study. Of course parts of the brain may grow if there is stimulation and shrink if there is no stimulation - that's been proven in many studies. You still have to look at the research questions and research design to see that the research was conducted in a way that can most accurately answer the hypothesis. I'm suspicious of research that tends to paint only mothers as the most essential people for their children's neurological growth. Anyway, this is all off topic again. Funny how this always happens on this forum

Nucleus · Mar 11, 2012

kanelli wrote:Of course parts of the brain may grow if there is stimulation and shrink if there is no stimulation

That is the point.

kanelli wrote: I'm suspicious of research that tends to paint only mothers as the most essential people for their children's neurological growth.

Not sure about that but there are research showing father and mother both affect the brain development differently. Why nobody knows and not much research has done into that since most caregivers are mothers. In short, it is possible that kind of brain simulation is only coming from mother or they are chemicials coming from mother that is affecting the brain development. Or it is possible it is just pshycologial and it maybe anyone besides a mother. Both are possible, above research is a 10 years study and it is still incomplete. Notheless, it does show positive effects of mother being close to a child.

Flying Dutchman · Mar 12, 2012

Nucleus wrote:Notheless, it does show positive effects of mother being close to a child.

It tends to go that way. The most important thing for the development of a child is a caring caregiver in the first place of course. Close proximity of the Mother, is deemed more and more pivotal, especially during the first three years of a child.

Nucleus · Mar 12, 2012

Flying Dutchman wrote:It tends to go that way. The most important thing for the development of a child is a caring caregiver in the first place of course. Close proximity of the Mother, is deemed more and more pivotal, especially during the first three years of a child.

Not sure about that anymore, new scientific discoveries are reveal new things like how certain chemicals are triggered. It is possible close a bond between actual mother and child triggers certain chemicals.

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