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Dear All,

I've a bit of a dilemma & a very unusual situation. I got married to a pakistani guy (I am an Indian) in 2008 at the Dubai Shariah Court (since we're both muslims). Recently he lost his job in UAE & had to exit the country. He went back to Karachi to his family & while I was trying to sort out a new visa for him on my sponsorship, he told me that he has decided to not come back & wants to divorce me. I do not wish to discuss that part of my life. However after he sent me his divorce statement in an email (just one line stating he is divorcing me in his complete senses), I found out I am pregnant.

Now I don't want anything from him. I don't even want child support or financial aid from him in anyways. I just want to know how go about having this baby in Dubai, while I get my divorce finalized. I am currently with my mother in India, since I was not keeping well in my first trimester. My questions are:

1] I've been told that even if I am not in UAE, my brother can represent me in Dubai court & get the divorced finalized on my behalf (according to Shariah law, also since he was my 'guardian' during my court marriage in Dubai)

2] Can I then go back to UAE as a divorcee (I am over 30yrs old) & have the baby in Dubai without any legal repercussions?

3] I do earn a good amount of money, and can provide for my baby, so will I be able to sponsor my child on my own sponsorship?

I urgently need to know this information, as I will not be able to travel in another 2 months & will be forced to have the baby in India, while my visa in UAE will also be cancelled by then if I stay out of the country for more than 6 months. I hold a resident visa.

Can someone please assist me with these issues? I would really appreciate it!

Thank you in advance to all!

Best Regards,

SY

I'm truly sorry to hear about your situation. It's really a sticky one.

There is another forum "expatwoman.com" where you may get some answers to your questions as there are some women (Muslims) who are very knowledgeable on that forum. Some may have even found themself in the same position or know someone who was in the same position. Just create an account, and copy what you posted here, and post it there.

Good luck to you.

Bora Bora ,



I really appreciate your quick response & I will indeed enquire on expatwoman about the same.



Jazak'Allah for your help!



Best Regards,



SY

SY, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. Life always has a way of working out though. Good luck with everything, and all the best with your pregancy and birth of your baby. A blessing amongst the bad stuff

Divorced2011 wrote:However after he sent me his divorce statement in an email (just one line stating he is divorcing me in his complete senses), I found out I am pregnant.

Have you told him that you are pregnant? This news might give him a second thought to change his decision to return and unite with you in Dubai..

Berrin wrote:Have you told him that you are pregnant? This news might give him a second thought to change his decision to return and unite with you in Dubai

Getting back together just because you a pregnant is never a wise decision.

I'd rather have an abortion.

Looks like his decision to not return back to dubai is the reason for divorce, it appears that she doesn't want to move to krachi either.

But this pregrancy may give them a second thought to revise their decisions if they want to continue life as a family..

Abortion is the solution of disbelievers, fetuses do have right to life... It's not you but your creator makes a fetus clinch mothers womb and start a life..

Dear Berrin & Bethsmum,

First of all thank you very much for your replies, however I only asked for advise on the legal issues of having the baby here in UAE.

Berrin, why would you speculate anything about me? He doesn't want anything to do with us & no he NEVER asked me to move to karachi to be with him!

As for abortion, that was never an option for me. If I wanted an easy way out of this situation, I would've chosen that, but I've to face my Creator someday & I do not wish to commiit such a grave sin. I'd rather face difficulties in this life.

So if people will PLEASE stop commenting on matters that are not even open to discussion & advice me on something that is actually useful to me then I'd really appreciate it.

Thank you.



SY.

Sorry to hear. Tell him, he is the father. I know you don't want this kind of advice but it happens sometimes and people relook at the whole situation. If I was in your situation I would tell.

As for having a baby, if you have your marriage papers there shouldn't be any issue. They are enough to show that it is not out of wedlock, and that all is needed. Good luck with the baby.

Yes, you should be able to sponsor your child if your income is enough. I'm not sure about the minimum requirements.

As for your brother representing you in the court, does he have the power of attorny? You have to give him your POA, better get a lawyer if you can afford one, it will make your life easier.

--- Sun Mar 11, 2012 6:52 am ---

One more thing, techincally divorce during pregnancy is not counted. You have to get it after the birth of your child. Read this please: http://www.al-mawrid.org/pages/articles ... 49&cid=163

Under Sharia Law, it's possible for a woman to obtain a divorce if she has not obtained her rights as a wife. If her husband doesn't support her, that may be grounds for divorce and in this case, the husband doesn't seem to be supporting her.

Pregnant or not, it does seem she has some justification for asking a Sharia court to recognise her divorce.

Dear Nucleus & Blueshift,

Thank you very much for your support & replies. I just want to state for the record that my (ex)husband does NOT want any reconcilation or want to support me in any way because he is already getting married again in pakistan.

Which is why I need to settle the divorce as soon as possible & move on so that I am able to support my child.

I really appreciate all your advice.

Kind Regards,

SY

Dearest sister,

I am really sorry If I anyway hurt your feelings at these difficult times you're going through. I was concerned having read your story and my heart is truely on your side.. I ofcourse don't mean to speculate anything, but you know one always wonders and guesses what may have happened over very little knowledge given.. whether this is wrong is another issue.. this wasn't my intention..My point was trying to see if there was any possibility this family could be united again.. It's like brainstorming.. Otherwise your affairs are non of our business of course..

But please let me ask you this question. Do his parents know that you are pragnant from him? Have you managed to talk to his parents directly? In my mind It's important that you have made direct conversation with his parents cause it looks as if his parents have no idea that you have had a happy relationship when you were together in Dubai? Regards...

Dear Berrin,

It's alright. I didn't take offense at your suggestion. It's just that people/society always jumps first to judge the woman in the matter of divorce. And with Allah as my witness I did all I could to save my marriage. But when someone just wants out, you can't stop them or beg them to be with you.

As for his parents, his mother doesn't care about me or our family what it was. She was never supportive of our marriage & has in fact always asked him to leave me.

I have forgiven them all for whatever they did to my life.

And that's all behind me now & I just want to move forward & do the best I can for my baby.

Best Regards,



SY

SY, I hope that it will be possible for you to finalize the divorce while pregnant. I suppose you don't even need to mention it if you aren't far along and/or can conceal the bump. You seem very positive and have a great attitude towards moving forward. There will be a better man and better marriage in your future. Good luck to you!

Dear Kanelli,

I am hoping to get the divorce finalized while Im out of UAE. My brother can represent me & get it done on my behalf.

Well, I don't have a choice but to be positive coz I've to be strong enough for my baby. And as for the rest, Allah kareem.....

Thank you!

It looks as if his new marriage to this new girl in not his committed choice but rather a forced decision upon him under his parents influence, probably due to social strains.. which is forbidden in islam.. I wish he or you could arrange a respectful member of your communities or a mosque imam who holds true essense of islam to meet his parents, to explain that their judgement is unfair both on you and your ex hubby and that they should revise their decision, especially now that you are pregnant.. Regards...

http://www.therevival.co.uk/forced-arra ... -marriages

.

That's excellent if your brother can act on your behalf. Don't worry if you don't always feel strong. It sounds like your family is there for you to lean on in this difficult situation. Wishing you all the best!

Berrin, I'm sure you feel sad about a family broken up, and you mean well, but SY has already explained that she isn't looking for opinions on what to do with her husband or baby. She should be respected. Her husband is his own man and he chose to abandon her and take a new wife. There are no excuses for him. How SY proceeds is her business because she knows the situation better than any of us and has her own goals for the future.

Thank you Kanelli & Berrin! I really do appreciate your kind words. But please don't start an agruement over my life. I am really grateful that you all are so sympathetic towards my situation, but I don't want to cause any bad vibes.

Berrin, my ex-husband isn't being forced into anything. He's 32 & educated & he knows exactly what he did when he abandoned me. He's going to the States to start his new life & he's doin well coz things have worked out for him just perfectly. I supported him for 2yrs of joblessness while he was in UAE, and now when he didn't need me, he walked out.

So really, I've absolutely no expections or hopes from him. And I'd rather depend on Allah than a weak selfish man who cannot be trusted.

Please do pray that my situation gets resolved without much difficulties, so that I can come back to UAE & continue with my job & be able to support myself & my baby. That's all that I really want in life now.

Rest is all upto Allah......

Thank you!

SY

Divorced2011 wrote:Berrin, my ex-husband isn't being forced into anything. He's 32 & educated & he knows exactly what he did when he abandoned me. He's going to the States to start his new life & he's doin well coz things have worked out for him just perfectly. I supported him for 2yrs of joblessness while he was in UAE, and now when he didn't need me, he walked out.

So really, I've absolutely no expections or hopes from him. And I'd rather depend on Allah than a weak selfish man who cannot be trusted.

You are angry, and rightly so. I've a feeling this is a rushed decisions, and you may regret this decision later in life. Anyhow, not my place. Good luck with whatever decision you take.

Divorced2011 wrote:Please do pray that my situation gets resolved without much difficulties, so that I can come back to UAE & continue with my job & be able to support myself & my baby.

I hope it goes well. Your brother would need the POA, and the copy of email. I think email should be acceptable as a proof, in business cases it is accepted as a proof. But email is sent to more than one person as a witness to be reliable evidence and people who can appear in court as a witness if needed.