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herve wrote:The Boston Fracture, hit 200 views and up , not too bad after 24 hours.

Well done Herve!!!! My hero

--- Thu Mar 08, 2012 2:18 am ---

Not bad is an under statement!!!!

--- Thu Mar 08, 2012 2:19 am ---

OOH look!!! my inane topic is up to 9 pages

count on al shafique the factophobe to make it last longer. The more he talks about me, the more books I sell, not less.

LOL!

--- Thu Mar 08, 2012 2:39 am ---

There's no such thing as bad advertising

I was laughing my head off, when al shafique used to sweet talk and PM gertrude. he had absolutely no clue he was talking to me. He is so predictable and blind, a 4th grade could fool him into talking to a brocolli

herve ,

No clue at all. How embarrassing! LOL

--- Thu Mar 08, 2012 3:04 am ---

herve wrote: PM gertrude

WTF??? Have you been Pm'ing everyone Shafique??? You told me I was the one

You two are really getting desperate for a wind-up now. Pathetic.

kanelli wrote:Pathetic.

That's twice you have used that word in 3 minutes on this forum. I would have thought a published author would have had a few more words to her elbow than have to repeat herself in this manner!

herve wrote:The more he talks about me, the more books I sell, not less.

Got to hand it to herve - wishful thinking at its finest.

But I can't blame you for your desperation herve, you've got to reduce those losses, haven't you! Try writing something worthy next time.

I think it is time for another joke:
(From 2003):
Q. Why do we need France on our side against Saddam and Osama?
A. So the French can show them how to surrender.

Cheers,
Shafique

A Mauritian arrives in Surry as a new immigrant to the UK. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says,
"Thank you Mr Englishman for letting me in this country!"
But the passer-by says, "You are mistaken, I am a Pakistani."
The man goes on and encounters another passer-by. "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in Britain!"
The person says, "I no Blitish. I flom Hong Kong".
The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, "Thank you for the wonderful Britain!"
That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Iran, I am not British".
He finally sees a nice lady and asks suspiciously, "Are you a British citizen?"
She says, "No, I am from Romania!"
So he is puzzled, and asks her, "Where are all the British?"
The Romanian lady looks at her watch, shrugs and says, "Probably at work!"

LOL (laughing at your desperation) - but BM, how many times do I have to tell you that there is a thread for your rants/fantasies about fellow posters.

This is what a joke looks like (hint, it is funny):

Q: What do you call a French fighter coming to the rescue of American and British soldiers in the Iraqi desert?
A: Mirage




Cheers,
Shafique

shafique wrote:but BM, how many times do I have to tell you that there is a thread for your rants/fantasies about fellow posters.

You mean that topic you set up entitled BM is spiraling out of control, where I could post comments about you?
Are you that desperate for attention?

--- Thu Mar 08, 2012 7:53 am ---

An Arab was admitted in the Hospital for a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood in case need arises. As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally.So the call went out to a number of countries. Finally a Mauritian was located who had a similar type of blood. The Mauritian willingly donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery, the Arab sent the Mauritian as appreciation for giving his blood, a new Toyota Prado, diamonds, lapis lazuri jewellery, and a million US dollars. After some time later once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Mauritian who was more than happy to donate his blood again. After the second surgery,the Arab sent the Mauritian a thank you card and a bag of mangoes.

The Mauritian was shocked to see that the Arab had not reciprocated to his kind gesture the way he had anticipated. He phoned the Arab and told him that this time also he had expected the Arab to send him a Toyota prado, diamonds and Jewellery... ..but you only gave me a thank you card and a bag of mangoes? On this the Arab replied... " My friend now I have Mauritian blood in my veins...!"

I was just noting how many posts you are making about me and thought you'd appreciate a separate thread for all these fantasies. You can also post jokes about Mauritians, immigrants, insurance salesmen etc there. Your obsession is not flattering - but just a sign of your desperation.

Like FD, eh and herve - you can't handle a discussion and just insult. What a sad gang you belong to.

Cheers,

Shafique

Ditto.

Why do you hate the French al shafique.?
Is it because they made illegal to wear the nikab, or because they are going to ban halal food from schools.
Today President Sarkozy declared that there are too many foreigners in France, he meant "MOSLEMS" in case you did not get the message. Why is it where ever moslem breed, they always manage to be rejected? Any idea?
To me , it looks like in the UK, moslems are prtty much disliked to, I wonder why.
Give it a little time, and there is going to be a massive and violent "foreigners" kick @ss out of my douce France to get rid of that scourge you belong to.

herve wrote:Why do you hate the French

Laughing at the French is what Englishmen do. It doesn't mean we hate you - c'mon. Don't you have sense of humour?

It is all good fun.

Some of my best friends are French. (Heck, some relatives are French).

Lighten up my snail-eating, cheese-eating friend!

Cheers,

Shafique

you forgot ham eating. you dont know what you are missing not eating "un jambon beurre"

Ah, I haven't heard any jokes about ham eating... but when it comes to animals, let's see what I have for you...

Ahh how about these:
Q: What is a Frenchman with a sheep and a goat under each arm?
A: Bisexual.

Q: Why do the French eat snails?
A: It gives them speedier reactions.


And this generic one that we English find funny:

Q: Where do you find 60 million French jokes?
A: In France.

As BM says - all in good taste. Don't you agree?

Cheers,
Shafique
(Irony/Sarcasm intended)

Who ate all the pies?

Non sense, I dont laugh to this kind of stupid joke, they are all the same and are transformed and applied to every countries in the world. Brit vs French, US vs Mexicans, Indians and Pakis.

French have jokes against the brits, i dont even go there. not my cup o T

Thanks BM, happy to have more examples of good natured jokes.

herve - take BM's advice and lighten up. We can't have all her 'gang' being so uptight all the time.

BTW - I have loads more jokes... you really shouldn't give up so easily...

Cheers,

Shafique

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." —Jacques Chirac, President of France

"As far as France is concerned, you're right." —Rush Limbaugh

Nucleus wrote:"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." —Jacques Chirac, President of France"As far as France is concerned, you're right." —Rush Limbaugh

--- Thu Mar 08, 2012 9:32 am ---

Bethsmum wrote:WTF??? Have you been Pm'ing everyone Shafique???

Is Shaffy PM-ing around the female folk of DF. Sneaky, sneaky.

Bethsmum wrote:

herve wrote:PM gertrude

WTF??? Have you been Pm'ing everyone Shafique??? You told me I was the one

I just put that 'brain fart' down to BM's obsession with me - it was almost a herve-like conspiracy. LOL

Cheers,
Shafique

It's most disappointing to discover you'd been pm'ing Gertrude. I thought I was the special girl in your life. Does Kanelli know about this?

Wrong thread BM. Fantasies about me have their own thread. Do try to keep up old girl, there's a dear!

Cheers,

Shafique

I heard that gertrude was PMing herve and herve and gertrude were PMing capsicum.

shafique wrote:Do try to keep up old girl, there's a dear!

I'm trying but you're too quick for me! Fancy pm'ing Gertrude! You're a sneaky one aren't you?

Who ever would have guessed?

There, there dear - still posting in the wrong thread. Didn't you take your pills today .. DID Y O U T A K E Y O U R P I L L S today, granny?

I have no recollection pm'ing gertrude, and if I did it would only be after herve/gertrude pm'ing me. He's obviously the attention whore.. and even fails at that.

He's not even the most successful author on these forums. How sad is that!

Cheers,

Shafique

Oh It seems to have hit a nerve that you have been discovered PM'ing what you thought, was a lady! You little tinker!

I hope you didn't make any indecent proposals

oooooops!