I don’t know whether we have any Eastenders fans on DF but for those not familiar with this soap opera, it’s on the BBC, four times a week.
Lately the show has been focusing on the token Muslim family in the Square, the Masoods.
The Masoods have 4 children, Shabnam, Sayed, Tamwar and little Kamil.
Mr Masood’s first name is Masood but the family’s last name is Masood. I found that most confusing when I found out that he wasn’t Masood Masood, but Masood Ahmed.
What’s all that about?
Shabnam is the daughter. Now she disappeared back to Pakistan a couple of years ago on the pretence of a visit, but she’s never returned. I think the next story line may be her release from Guantanamo Bay. All I really remember about her was that she wasn’t keen on her mother and she had some nice scarves.
Sayed is the eldest son who appeared after his sister returned to Pakistan. He’d been outcast from the family unit as he was involved in dodgy property deals but all was forgiven and he was set to marry a very good looking Muslim girl, whose dad is a gangster and has a pony tail. They made a splendid looking couple as Sayed is a bit of a dish, but it wasn’t only his future wife that fancied him, but also the local fitness trainer, a big muscley white man and as gay as they come. Sayed had his head turned and started a homosexual affair with the fitness trainer whilst working on his marriage plans. Well it all came to a head when his pretty wife found out he was gay and she went back to her dad and she never told Syed she was already carrying his child.
Sayed has tried to contact her recently because he wants a divorce to enable him to marry his muscle bound gay lover, but she is locked away in a penthouse with a baby, and her dad, who’s still got the pony tail, and isn’t allowed to leave.
Sayed’s been cast out again as his parents don’t approve of his gay marriage plans. He’s not having much luck lately, is poor Sayed.
Tamwar is the second son, he’s a bit of a brain box. He didn’t do so well in his A levels but was too frightened to tell Mum and Dad and led them to believe he’d gained access to Oxbridge and managed to keep that up till he was due to leave for the new term when he had to come clean. He is now the manager of The Argee Bargee, the local curry house.
Tamwar got himself a girlfriend, again, a nice Muslim girl. When she invited her dad round to meet the family, it turned out that her dad, now the local doctor, was Mrs Masood’s first husband and he still has the hots for her. Obviously this has proved awkward. More on this later.
Kamil is the baby, which Mrs Masood had latish in life, more as a marriage saver, I think, but the plan has gone pair shaped.
Masood (the dad) is the post man and Mrs Masood, Zainab to her friends, was the post mistress until she was caught fiddling the books. She then ventured into Masala Masood, which sells curry sauce and chips on the market in Albert Square. I don’t think it makes much as she also stacks shelves in the corner shop.
Masood and Zainab are having marital difficulties and very stupidly, he has left the family home for the B&B when he’s often seen sharing a bag of chips and pork scratchings with a local dark coloured Christian lady. I haven’t actually seen him eat a pork scratching to be honest, I think he gives the best bits to his lady friend.
Leaving the family gaff has left the door open for her son’s father in law (the Doc) and he is now in the process of trying to convince her she’s mental. He managed to slip some sleeping pills into the curry sauce and Z. collapsed into a coma on the couch. Her kids found her in the nick of time when poor little Kamil was peering out of the living room window like a little lost soul. She was admitted to hospital with an overdose and off course the whole family kicked off as this is not allowed in Islam. Poor Z!
Of course Masood totally cocks up again when he brings her a bunch of flowers on her release from hospital. She thinks he is making a big speech to announce his return to the bosom of the family and he goes and utters some mumbo jumbo 3 times and hey pesto! She’s divorced!
Poor Zainab! She was gutted and so was I! How can this be in the 21st century? I wanted to shout at the telly! You PIG! How can you do that to your poor wife?
What I want to know is does he have to go to Court to do this officially or is that it? Is she on the scap heap for good without any recourse to him?
That can’t be right surely?
Are the Masoods the most dysfunctional Muslim family or is this fairly normal in Muslim families?
So many questions!
Does anyone out there have any answers???