Dubai Forums Dubai Discussions Dubai Romance

Hi, I'm a newby to this techno forum thing as well as this particular subject matter.

Have been out here 4 years now and the place has proved to be a total disaster for me on the romance/marriage/relationship front. The GF followed me out here, persuaded me to get married, hung around for all of 18 months and then took off with some spotty youth covered in tattoos and bits of metal. Since then, romance has proved to be like the desert just outside town.

I seem to have loads of friends who are female and these have stayed as close friends, but have found many others who are so totally fake and up themselves that I am simply not interested.

Can any females out there tell me why so many girls in this town are as fake as the snow in the Mall of the Emirates? Most of them I have met are only interested in what car I drive, how big a villa I live in and what number Jumeirah it's in. Others see guys here as meal tickets or gift factories who can provide them with the 'bling' that seems to be the norm amongst the female expat community. Locations such as Cyclone hold zero interest as one can hardly have an intelligent conversation or lasting relationship with some bleach blonde who sees you as the next trick/Euro passport and speaks fluent Tadjikistani.

I classify myself as the old fashioned chivalrous gentleman type, who opens and closes doors without prompting, pulls out chairs and always gives a girl the last word...and am definitely not a stay at home in front of the computer type, frequenting many of the better establishments in town...but where are all the real women? Emirates girls are really only interested in pilots (or locals who can buy them stuff...this from personal experience) and see every guy as a predator. Men are in the majority here so the girls have plenty to choose from and I see so many who hook up with real sleaze bags. Why?

Any advice would be nice.

Can any females out there tell me why so many girls in this town are as fake as the snow in the Mall of the Emirates? Most of them I have met are only interested in what car I drive, how big a villa I live in and what number Jumeirah it's in.

We have two type of prostitutes ,one types are open and never shy to ask for money like "Karma " and second type of prostitutes are decent prostitutes . They would like to have everything in decent way:P. AT end they ll come in bed , nicely and slowely

If i spend 1000 Dhs on a gal ,i would seek return on investment .I would never go for sunk investment or invest money in a project which provide me nothing in return.

Well in Europe girls hardly ask for how big villa u have !! they are mostly interested in how big ...................

Emirates girls are really only interested in pilots (or locals who can buy them stuff...this from personal experience) and see every guy as a predator.

One thing is true that local girls are really cute and s.e.xy . They even attract in their black abay.

Arnigang daddy....

Let me come in Dubai and we both will hunt local girls May be it cost less money if son and daddy go for someone

Dubai Knight wrote:Hi, I'm a newby to this techno forum thing as well as this particular subject matter.

Have been out here 4 years now and the place has proved to be a total disaster for me on the romance/marriage/relationship front. The GF followed me out here, persuaded me to get married, hung around for all of 18 months and then took off with some spotty youth covered in tattoos and bits of metal. Since then, romance has proved to be like the desert just outside town.

I seem to have loads of friends who are female and these have stayed as close friends, but have found many others who are so totally fake and up themselves that I am simply not interested.

Can any females out there tell me why so many girls in this town are as fake as the snow in the Mall of the Emirates? Most of them I have met are only interested in what car I drive, how big a villa I live in and what number Jumeirah it's in. Others see guys here as meal tickets or gift factories who can provide them with the 'bling' that seems to be the norm amongst the female expat community. Locations such as Cyclone hold zero interest as one can hardly have an intelligent conversation or lasting relationship with some bleach blonde who sees you as the next trick/Euro passport and speaks fluent Tadjikistani.

I classify myself as the old fashioned chivalrous gentleman type, who opens and closes doors without prompting, pulls out chairs and always gives a girl the last word...and am definitely not a stay at home in front of the computer type, frequenting many of the better establishments in town...but where are all the real women? Emirates girls are really only interested in pilots (or locals who can buy them stuff...this from personal experience) and see every guy as a predator. Men are in the majority here so the girls have plenty to choose from and I see so many who hook up with real sleaze bags. Why?

Any advice would be nice.

Well there are loads of fake diamonds out there trying to imitate... the girls u seek are either naive thinking that materialistic love lasts forever or prefer certain personality.A miner has to toil for hours in mine field to get real diamond which are rare so look at the right places not in cyclone or any chat room....best are through friend's connections or join a decent organisation to socialize and get real ppl...

"If i spend 1000 Dhs on a gal ,i would seek return on investment .I would never go for sunk investment or invest money in a project which provide me nothing in return. "



Theres your answer. Women bahave that way because guys think that treating a women out for dinner or spending on her is an investment...and they would like something in return. Kepp this up and you will never find true love.

Dubai Knight wrote:Hi, I'm a newby to this techno forum thing as well as this particular subject matter.

Have been out here 4 years now and the place has proved to be a total disaster for me on the romance/marriage/relationship front. The GF followed me out here, persuaded me to get married, hung around for all of 18 months and then took off with some spotty youth covered in tattoos and bits of metal. Since then, romance has proved to be like the desert just outside town.

I seem to have loads of friends who are female and these have stayed as close friends, but have found many others who are so totally fake and up themselves that I am simply not interested.

Can any females out there tell me why so many girls in this town are as fake as the snow in the Mall of the Emirates? Most of them I have met are only interested in what car I drive, how big a villa I live in and what number Jumeirah it's in. Others see guys here as meal tickets or gift factories who can provide them with the 'bling' that seems to be the norm amongst the female expat community. Locations such as Cyclone hold zero interest as one can hardly have an intelligent conversation or lasting relationship with some bleach blonde who sees you as the next trick/Euro passport and speaks fluent Tadjikistani.

I classify myself as the old fashioned chivalrous gentleman type, who opens and closes doors without prompting, pulls out chairs and always gives a girl the last word...and am definitely not a stay at home in front of the computer type, frequenting many of the better establishments in town...but where are all the real women? Emirates girls are really only interested in pilots (or locals who can buy them stuff...this from personal experience) and see every guy as a predator. Men are in the majority here so the girls have plenty to choose from and I see so many who hook up with real sleaze bags. Why?

Any advice would be nice.

Seem to me you already hav in your mind that most women are after your car, villa or whatever. We women are sensitive. If guys think we are like that then thats what exactly we will do to them. The reason why you see many women end up with "real sleaze bags" is because they dont see love or dating as a business thing. If you know what I mean.

I can't imagine why you'd stereotype that all the girls in town are shallow gold-diggers. You must be frequenting places where you meet that kind of woman.

No offense if some of you have met your partner in a bar or night club, but to me those seem like the worst places to meet someone.

Get a hobby or two that is social - e.g. join a club of some sort, or volunteer with some organisations. You'll meet a wider range of people and maybe some of them can introduce you to single friends of theirs etc. etc.

read the book MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS
by John Gray.. if you haven't read it.

it would probably give you a paradigm shift..

also, as kanelli advised, look for women in social clubs, hobby centres etc.
or hit off a conversation with someone in a library or a book stall..

the trick might work out..

Thanks for the advice from everyone...not sure if HP is on the right track, but it seems everyone agrees that clubs and bars are not the right places to meet the right girls.

On the social note, I am a member of several clubs for some of the more specialised activities I enjoy and have a good social circle of friends. I don't set out with the intent of seeing every girl as a 'user' but even the ones I have met and started to develop a relationship with all seem nice and real to start with, but soon turn into the sterotype I have already described. Friends have introduced me to their single friends within this social network and every single one has turned out to be after a walking cheque book.

I have a mate who has just arrived in Dubai after working in Iraq and he has settled into a cosy little twosome with a girl he met on a visit last year. Now he is trapped as he has picked up the tab for her villa, car loan, flights home, clothes, spa visits, new mobiles...she earns more money that he does and still has him coughing up for everything! He likes the girl and her company, but at what price? As an objective observer, I see the situation but maybe its too close in front of his eyes for him to see what is happening. I drop hints, rather than confront him directly as every male becomes defensive if criticised. Its genetic.

Hanging around in bookstores or the library might seem like a good idea, however how long does one have to spend browsing the shelves for Nietchze or Kant before the right girl appears that you can strike up the conversation with? Not only that, I would far rather meet the girl in the cookery or history section as we may have more in common. Thanks Ajoy, have read 'Men are from Mars...' but didn't neccessarily agree with all the conclusions found there. Perhaps it would be better for girls to watch the movie 'City Slickers' to understand a little more about the performance pressures men are under at times? It does go both ways.

Life is not a dress rehearsal and the intention is to have fun and find a little love on the way. All I am looking for is an honest girl with a sense of humour.

Kanelli has hit the right button, i think your "circle of friends" seem quite shallow, and the fact that your friend appears to be in the same position looks to confirm this, to be frank he sound a fool.

try this

http://www.table4six.net/

Dubai Knight wrote:Thanks for the advice from everyone...not sure if HP is on the right track, but it seems everyone agrees that clubs and bars are not the right places to meet the right girls.

On the social note, I am a member of several clubs for some of the more specialised activities I enjoy and have a good social circle of friends. I don't set out with the intent of seeing every girl as a 'user' but even the ones I have met and started to develop a relationship with all seem nice and real to start with, but soon turn into the sterotype I have already described. Friends have introduced me to their single friends within this social network and every single one has turned out to be after a walking cheque book.

I have a mate who has just arrived in Dubai after working in Iraq and he has settled into a cosy little twosome with a girl he met on a visit last year. Now he is trapped as he has picked up the tab for her villa, car loan, flights home, clothes, spa visits, new mobiles...she earns more money that he does and still has him coughing up for everything! He likes the girl and her company, but at what price? As an objective observer, I see the situation but maybe its too close in front of his eyes for him to see what is happening. I drop hints, rather than confront him directly as every male becomes defensive if criticised. Its genetic.

Hanging around in bookstores or the library might seem like a good idea, however how long does one have to spend browsing the shelves for Nietchze or Kant before the right girl appears that you can strike up the conversation with? Not only that, I would far rather meet the girl in the cookery or history section as we may have more in common. Thanks Ajoy, have read 'Men are from Mars...' but didn't neccessarily agree with all the conclusions found there. Perhaps it would be better for girls to watch the movie 'City Slickers' to understand a little more about the performance pressures men are under at times? It does go both ways.

Life is not a dress rehearsal and the intention is to have fun and find a little love on the way. All I am looking for is an honest girl with a sense of humour.

Ok, fine, whatever! you just wait til I get there this April! I'm known for my being straightforward. maybe we can meet and see for myself if something is wrong with you (thats why women treat you that way) or maybe you are not just lucky in love.. yet. hows that?

check this out!...from IMJ

"1. The nice men are ugly.

2. The handsome men are not nice.

3. The handsome and nice men are gay.

4. The handsome, nice and fun men are married.

5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.

6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think
we are only after their money.

7. The handsome men without money are after our money.

8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat fun,
don't think we are beautiful enough.

9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are fun, somewhat
nice and have money, are cowards.

10.The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money
and thank God are fun, are shy and NEVER make the first move!

11.The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest
in us when we take the initiative.


Who can possibly understand men?

Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to
stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something
you'd like to have dinner with. "

what do u think?

vanillashake wrote:

Dubai Knight wrote:Thanks for the advice from everyone...not sure if HP is on the right track, but it seems everyone agrees that clubs and bars are not the right places to meet the right girls.

On the social note, I am a member of several clubs for some of the more specialised activities I enjoy and have a good social circle of friends. I don't set out with the intent of seeing every girl as a 'user' but even the ones I have met and started to develop a relationship with all seem nice and real to start with, but soon turn into the sterotype I have already described. Friends have introduced me to their single friends within this social network and every single one has turned out to be after a walking cheque book.

I have a mate who has just arrived in Dubai after working in Iraq and he has settled into a cosy little twosome with a girl he met on a visit last year. Now he is trapped as he has picked up the tab for her villa, car loan, flights home, clothes, spa visits, new mobiles...she earns more money that he does and still has him coughing up for everything! He likes the girl and her company, but at what price? As an objective observer, I see the situation but maybe its too close in front of his eyes for him to see what is happening. I drop hints, rather than confront him directly as every male becomes defensive if criticised. Its genetic.

Hanging around in bookstores or the library might seem like a good idea, however how long does one have to spend browsing the shelves for Nietchze or Kant before the right girl appears that you can strike up the conversation with? Not only that, I would far rather meet the girl in the cookery or history section as we may have more in common. Thanks Ajoy, have read 'Men are from Mars...' but didn't neccessarily agree with all the conclusions found there. Perhaps it would be better for girls to watch the movie 'City Slickers' to understand a little more about the performance pressures men are under at times? It does go both ways.

Life is not a dress rehearsal and the intention is to have fun and find a little love on the way. All I am looking for is an honest girl with a sense of humour.

Ok, fine, whatever! you just wait til I get there this April! I'm known for my being straightforward. maybe we can meet and see for myself if something is wrong with you (thats why women treat you that way) or maybe you are not just lucky in love.. yet. hows that?

Ou La La. VanillaShake Can u read my palms?

Ou La La. VanillaShake Can u read my palms? [/quote]

Its not in the palms.. its in the face.

vanillashake wrote:Ou La La. VanillaShake Can u read my palms?

Its not in the palms.. its in the face. [/quote]

k then face

Knight,

Shit happens in love, no matter where u are...

vanillashake wrote:check this out!...from IMJ

"1. The nice men are ugly.

2. The handsome men are not nice.

3. The handsome and nice men are gay.

4. The handsome, nice and fun men are married.

5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.

6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think
we are only after their money.

7. The handsome men without money are after our money.

8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat fun,
don't think we are beautiful enough.

9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are fun, somewhat
nice and have money, are cowards.

10.The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money
and thank God are fun, are shy and NEVER make the first move!

11.The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest
in us when we take the initiative.


Who can possibly understand men?

Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to
stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something
you'd like to have dinner with. "

what do u think?

Now this I like!

I think you could possibly have a similar version for women as you lot have rules that we men don't understand (and you have the ability to change them just as we think we do understand them!)

This shows that guys break down into fairly simple groups (no comments about us all being 'simple' please ladies!) but I have found women to have a much more complex sub-structure. If we try to ignore that and take a girl at pure face value, then there is a possibility of a guy being left open to use and abuse as is happening to my mate. Yes, Arniegang, I think he's a fool too and I have told him so, in a nice way. I think we take longer to come to a realisation that something like this is happening if we are involved deeply, but they say 'love is blind'. Girls tend to be far more analytical about the things men say and do whereas we often just do things for the sake of doing them. There is no ulterior motive or hidden meaning in them, but you seem to be able read something into it that often is simply not there. A lot of the time, we just like the companionship of a close female relationship and need hugs, not psychoanalysis or a raid on our credit card.

Since starting on the forum, I have had a cold hard look at the social circles I am mixing with at the moment, and I have to disagree about the shallow comments. They all tend to be either 'DINKY's' (Dual Income No Kids Yet), Yummy Mummy and Dishy Dad brigade, or the left-overs from failed relationships who, like me, have got together due to a mutual situation and are trailing the wreckage, or the children, of those relationships like a fishing trawler with broken nets. I am involved in some pretty radical activities here and the circle of friends I have amongst these groups are long term and lasting through a mutual love of doing what most people describe as 'extreme'.

So, Vanillashake, when you hit Dubai, we will have to give you a cold hard analytical look at the mess that is my love life, or lack of it. Maybe you can read my palm too.

Dear Dubai Knight,

I found your posts and the replies very interesting...seems to me there are lots of girls here going 'oh I can't find Mr Right' and loads of guys saying same thing- other way round of course. It's such a shame.

I don't know what kinds of girls you and your friend have been dating but as a thoroughly modern millie- me and my single friends don't look for a man to spend all his money on us, pay rent, pay for spa trips and all the things you listed...that is unbelievable!

I think that should be a warning signal to you- normal well balanced girls will offer to pay their way too, or treat you to things too...presents are for special days...birthdays, Valentine's Day etc. Normal people want someone to share their lives with in a well balanced happy way- not to bleed you dry!

There are a lot of shallow women and men out here and everywhere...you need to tune in your radar....for example you need to be able to tell the difference between genuine interest and gold digging...if someone is not interested or very interested because you don't/ do live in Jumeirah 1 and drive a Porsche...well don't go there!!

Don't give up hope- there really are some nice normal people out there...just keep looking- go to some different places for a change and see what difference that makes!

Good Luck and keep your chin up....Miss Right is out there somewhere and she will make you happy! Believe me I know a lot of them!

Vixnax

you cant lump people up in categories man, theres just two...bitches...and...bitches. :LOL: in a similar way, men can also be lumped up in two...aholes, and dicks...

now, people can be one or the other, or a little of both...be honest...all of us are..in a way...or in a fashion.

honestly, its as easy as where you find the girls/men if you find them in the meat market (bars/clubs/pubs/whorehouses) then theres the stereotype that you can expect...emirates girls are no different...but who is to say that there arent any decent ones out there.

europeans, americans, asians whatever nationality they may be, you cant generalize...but heres something that you should think about...

90% of the expats that you get to met here are those that cant get good jobs back home...these are the same people that economically, are not well off, theres that tiny 10% that you need to hook up with...those are the ones that came here for a different reason...a reason thats similar to yours...just by circumstance and not because of need...as for where they are...well, tell you what, they are not in the places where you frequent.

dont matter if you have a good car, a good villa...they see you as you and nothing else. (but those things are definately a bonus!)

so to sum it all up, are all the girls in dubai gold diggers? freggin a man...a huge majority is...but not all of them are. men are nothing different...men, dicks and a-holes alike or a little bit of both, are just as what they are...MEN...nothing changes...majority is still lookin for quick access to a woman's under pants...

vixnax wrote:Dear Dubai Knight,

I found your posts and the replies very interesting...seems to me there are lots of girls here going 'oh I can't find Mr Right' and loads of guys saying same thing- other way round of course. It's such a shame.

I don't know what kinds of girls you and your friend have been dating but as a thoroughly modern millie- me and my single friends don't look for a man to spend all his money on us, pay rent, pay for spa trips and all the things you listed...that is unbelievable!

I think that should be a warning signal to you- normal well balanced girls will offer to pay their way too, or treat you to things too...presents are for special days...birthdays, Valentine's Day etc. Normal people want someone to share their lives with in a well balanced happy way- not to bleed you dry!

There are a lot of shallow women and men out here and everywhere...you need to tune in your radar....for example you need to be able to tell the difference between genuine interest and gold digging...if someone is not interested or very interested because you don't/ do live in Jumeirah 1 and drive a Porsche...well don't go there!!

Don't give up hope- there really are some nice normal people out there...just keep looking- go to some different places for a change and see what difference that makes!

Good Luck and keep your chin up....Miss Right is out there somewhere and she will make you happy! Believe me I know a lot of them!

Vixnax

Thanks Vixnax,

The advice seems to be following a singular thread: Change or modify your social habits to meet the right people. I have met some nice normal people (well as far as my particular interests go they are normal to me!) and we have really tight relationships both inside and outside those particular pursuits and, if I may say so, I encounter quite a lot of people who want to be in these social circles as they are pretty lively and suitably radical, so I am keen to keep these going.

How does the radar thing work? The normal circumstances where we meet the girls tend not to expose the material side of things, these are only revealed later, so the first impressions tend to be quite open, honest and real. Not being an 'adonis' (but in my defence, not also being Quasimodo!) any returned interest from a girl is appreciated and taken at face value. If I was to take a lady on a date subsequently, the chivalrous male in me would never let the girl pick up half the tab, after all it is I who asked her to join me. There are many girls who might see this as a guy making an 'investment' and expecting a return at the end of the night...thanks to the many complete swine out there who have this mentality...but some of us see it for what it is. If I invite a girl out for dinner, it's because I like her company and very likely find her attractive and want to get to know more about her, nothing more. If a relationship develops, then it is on equal terms and not a forced issue.

So far, the number of one on one dinner dates have been remarkably few in Dubai as girls do tend to group together (you say you know many singles who are looking for the right man...how many go out on their own? Human nature dictates it is almost always in a social group or with their close friends) Those dates that have been contrived (friends setting you up with singles they know who are in a similar position) invariably end in disaster as your friends are often the worst judge of what you are looking for in a partner. I have had some nightmares (interesting none the less!)

This still leaves some unanswered questions:

Where to go to start meeting the right type of person?
How to start the ball rolling?
How not to offend or insult the other person by asking too deep or probing questions at the start?
and finally...
How to turn these first meetings into a relationship without any of the material considerations clouding the issue?

Still confused and looking...

Knight

Kitster wrote:you cant lump people up in categories man, theres just two...bitches...and...bitches. :LOL: in a similar way, men can also be lumped up in two...aholes, and dicks...

now, people can be one or the other, or a little of both...be honest...all of us are..in a way...or in a fashion.

honestly, its as easy as where you find the girls/men if you find them in the meat market (bars/clubs/pubs/whorehouses) then theres the stereotype that you can expect...emirates girls are no different...but who is to say that there arent any decent ones out there.

europeans, americans, asians whatever nationality they may be, you cant generalize...but heres something that you should think about...

90% of the expats that you get to met here are those that cant get good jobs back home...these are the same people that economically, are not well off, theres that tiny 10% that you need to hook up with...those are the ones that came here for a different reason...a reason thats similar to yours...just by circumstance and not because of need...as for where they are...well, tell you what, they are not in the places where you frequent.

dont matter if you have a good car, a good villa...they see you as you and nothing else. (but those things are definately a bonus!)

so to sum it all up, are all the girls in dubai gold diggers? freggin a man...a huge majority is...but not all of them are. men are nothing different...men, dicks and a-holes alike or a little bit of both, are just as what they are...MEN...nothing changes...majority is still lookin for quick access to a woman's under pants...

Hey man, I can empathise with some of the sentiment here, but not sure I agree with the terminology!

Trying to find a little reality in this town can be like trying to find rocking horse poo. Everything here is judged by it's outward appearance, not its inner values. A good looking guy can do very well here, no matter how shallow he is, as it is accepted that outward beauty is a desirable trait first before character. It is not so much a question of stereotypes, as the market expects a certain level of outward appearance. I have a gorgeous lady friend who is completely messed up by a guy who is accepted as 'handsome' but is a complete a-hole. No matter how many of us tell her to forget the guy and move on...she can't let go. Men can be as guilty as women. I want to distance myself from that stereotype and try to be real.

Physical attraction can start a relationship, but it will never develop any further if there are no deeper interests between 2 people. Yes, there are a lot of expats here because they are possibly losers back home, but there are also a lot who are hand picked to improve the gene pool of the UAE. They all start with good intentions and many start to show 'Jumeirah Jane' or 'Umm Suquiem Steve' tendencies before too long. This place changes people like an insidious virus!

I'll happily let them live in their own fantasy land...as long as I can find the place where the real people are at!
Knight

knight, you have to forgive my language there, but i was being honest...yup...you were right about people coming over to impruve the gene pool etc...thats the 10% i was talking about in my post...sad reality about that lady friend of yours, but then again, doesnt that happen around the world as well?

its really sad that we are stuck in a place that is kind of backwards when it comes to starting relationships, where people cant see past the facade...like the rest of the world, im still hoping that would change in the time to come...but for now, we can hold our breath...just like when we ride a taxi...

Kitster wrote:knight, you have to forgive my language there, but i was being honest...yup...you were right about people coming over to impruve the gene pool etc...thats the 10% i was talking about in my post...sad reality about that lady friend of yours, but then again, doesnt that happen around the world as well?

its really sad that we are stuck in a place that is kind of backwards when it comes to starting relationships, where people cant see past the facade...like the rest of the world, im still hoping that would change in the time to come...but for now, we can hold our breath...just like when we ride a taxi...

Yeah Kitster, this stuff does happen all over the place, just feels like it happens a lot more here. Maybe we are in a high velocity microcosm of the rest of the world as everything happens here like its on speed anyway...

How long do you have to hold your breath for? If you hold it too long you run out of air and get all dizzy and fall over...or is that alcohol?

Fnarr! Fnarr!

very funny knight... you know what im talking about right?...wait till summer...when they are really sweaty....hahahahah then you WILL hold your breath...unless...ur used to it! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Kitster wrote:very funny knight... you know what im talking about right?...wait till summer...when they are really sweaty....hahahahah then you WILL hold your breath...unless...ur used to it! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Only if they are driving cabs...or getting out of the lifts I always just seem to be getting into! Dammit!

Knight

ever wonder why they do that to themselves? i wanted to ask that question for the longest time...

Dear Dubai Knight,

thanks for your reply....I don't want to seem like the font of all knowledge hahahaha...I am just a"normal" person and have many "normal"single friends and am just going off experience...both out here and elsewhere.

I know what you mean about the chivalrous thing- yes it is nice for the guy to pay- but I would offer...if you said yeah ok I wouldn't bat an eyelid...but if you paid for all I would try and at least buy after dinner drinks for you to say thanks, or say my treat next time or something- it is just little things like that that should register on your radar.

Other radar things- and not in the fakey Dubai way...has the girl got a good-ish job? Is she living within her means as regards her job...if she has a normal average paid job- is she drinking champagne every night and buying Jimmy Choo shoes?? If so alarm bells! Just an example- you know what I mean!

She will be interested in you as a person- where you grew up, your family, your hobbies- but in a genuinely interested way.

Does she have a sense of humour? always a good giveaway...ever noticed how the dodgy ladies never laugh when sat at the bar?? Sounds wierd but true!

Suppose only way is to go slow to start off with- don't jump in head first and hand over the keys to your villa straight away- hahahaha joking!

Get to meet her friends- they say our friends are a good relflection of ourselves sometimes- birds of a feather and all that....if they are nice people too then woohoo!

Right that's the advice for now!! Hope this makes sense and look forward to reading what you think!

Bye for now

Vixnax

vixnax wrote:Dear Dubai Knight,

thanks for your reply....I don't want to seem like the font of all knowledge hahahaha...I am just a"normal" person and have many "normal"single friends and am just going off experience...both out here and elsewhere.

I know what you mean about the chivalrous thing- yes it is nice for the guy to pay- but I would offer...if you said yeah ok I wouldn't bat an eyelid...but if you paid for all I would try and at least buy after dinner drinks for you to say thanks, or say my treat next time or something- it is just little things like that that should register on your radar.

Other radar things- and not in the fakey Dubai way...has the girl got a good-ish job? Is she living within her means as regards her job...if she has a normal average paid job- is she drinking champagne every night and buying Jimmy Choo shoes?? If so alarm bells! Just an example- you know what I mean!

She will be interested in you as a person- where you grew up, your family, your hobbies- but in a genuinely interested way.

Does she have a sense of humour? always a good giveaway...ever noticed how the dodgy ladies never laugh when sat at the bar?? Sounds wierd but true!

Suppose only way is to go slow to start off with- don't jump in head first and hand over the keys to your villa straight away- hahahaha joking!

Get to meet her friends- they say our friends are a good relflection of ourselves sometimes- birds of a feather and all that....if they are nice people too then woohoo!

Right that's the advice for now!! Hope this makes sense and look forward to reading what you think!

Bye for now

Vixnax

Hi Vix,

Buying dinner for a girl who is smart, intelligent and good company is actually a pleasure! The intellectual stimulation of a good gossip over a fine meal is greatly underestimated by the majority of the male community. Who pays is not the issue and, if the date goes well and both enjoy each other's company, then there is the chance to reciprocate at the next date. This tends to be the way lasting relationships start, romantic or platonic.

Getting the first date is the barrier!

Yeah, the radar buzzes if there is no response to the weak attempts at humour! As for the material things, it's difficult to spot in Dubai, I am sure you will agree. The fake designer goods can almost as good as the real ones and, at first meeting, its very hard to guage exactly whether a girl is living within her means or not. The outward physical evidence is like the city...quickly and cheaply built and can be very dazzling to the eye.

A girl who is overly interested in who I am and where I came from also flags up on my inner radar scope now. I did encounter a situation with a Scottish girl, where this line of interrogation was actually an evaluation process to see if I was 'suitable' in terms of background, class, hobbies being suitably 'expensive', where I lived, what I drove...etc. etc... It was very cleverly and subtly done by a girl who, I learned subsequently, was a past master at checking out every guy she met with one aim...find the richest, most stupid man she could... and start the leeching process. I heard that she did get her comeuppance in the end as she met with a guy who was better at the game than her, got fooled, got married and is now living in almost abject poverty in Baku!

As for diving in head first? Maybe when I was a teenager, but definitely not now! ...and the villa keys never leave my pocket! It is a slow process of getting to know someone, the only danger being that a reluctance from the guy can also be read as 'lack of interest' by the girl. It is a delicate balance and one that I have obviously not had enough practice to refine.

Thanks for all the advice, this is all well and good for the time when I get to meet someone...but first things first, I am still working on that vital first step...finding a nice girl!

Knight

i wish you good luck on your search knight...everyone...well..ok...most of us deserve to be happy, and those that do play the same game as that scottish girl in your post, well, they deserve the same fate.

Do you think the problem is that many single men in Dubai expect the women to look well-put-together and stunningly beautiful? They should be slim gym bodied, have expensive and flattering hair styles, full make-up, finger and toenails perfectly manicured, desiger clothes and accessories etc.? If these men want expensively coiffed women, then they should realise that it takes time and money for them to look that way. As well, if women are willing to spend that much time and money on their appearance, then it also tells that they are quite concerned with outer beauty and may be less concerned with inner beauty. This kind of woman might also want a man who is equally concerned with outer appearance and she'll be looking for a fit guy with designer clothes and a nice car etc. Of course, I'm doing a wee bit of stereotyping here - but I think that this is the case sometimes, especially in a place like Dubai where there is so much money flying around. Men and women may want each other to "look the part" so to speak.

looking and being are sadly two very far and different things...hehehehehe...i dont think you were sterotyping kanelli, i think its just common to find people who look for return of investment here than anything else...in other departments...not just work.