Dubai Forums Dubai Discussions Dubai General Chat

I've come to the conclusion that I'm not much of a feminist. I like being financially independant and not having to explain to a man if I want to spend £200 on a pair of Chanel sunglasses or £800 on a Mulberry handbag. Which I do, occasionally. It's my money and I earned it.
But I do like is a gentleman that knows how to treat a woman.
I'm not talking about throwing money at me, more just opening the odd door and asking if everything is ok. Just being polite goes a long way in my book.

In the last two days, on three separate occasions I have asked myself, where have all the gentlemen gone?

The three occasions have all been driving related. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a bad driver! I'm lucky enough to have never been involved in a car accident in all the years I've been driving.

Why do men speed up when I pull out of a side road? I pulled out today, when I saw a space, and I swear to God the white van man put his foot down! Was he trying to frighten me? Are men threatened by lady drivers who drive a BMW?
I continued up the road and went round a round-about. Now I thought these were there to help the flow of traffic. Not according to the short man driving the Renault Clio. I didn't stop but continued round, and when he saw that I had taken this liberty he came up behind me and sounded his horn loudly. I looked in my rear view mirror and saw some unfortunate looking man making rude gestures at me. I braked sharply just to infuriate him more and continued on my way to the butchers.

On our way to school and work Beth and I have to negotiate some major road works going on around town. We live in a major tourist area and such is the planning department of Cumbria County Council, they have decided to slow the summer traffic down to a crawl by upgrading the A66 (trans Pennine) rounabout during July/August. We go over a bridge and the road splits into two lanes. During the work these two lanes merge into one 100 yards further on.
I drove over the bridge and as usual I pulled into the outside lane to overtake everything, realising my error, I went to pull back in. I didn't want to be unsociable and pull up 100 yards further on and expect to be let in.
Would the driver behind me let me back in? No.
It wasn't as if I was trying to push my way in, I only wanted to get back to where I was. I looked over, past Beth, who was sat bolt upright, waiting for me to kick off, and wound my window down (electronically). The man wouldn't even look at me. We were bumper to bumper and there was no way he was going to let me back in. I put my foot down, went 10 cars past him, indicated, and some woman let me in.
Beth kept quiet and continued to look straight ahead.

I asked myself, and Beth, what's happened to men?

You do find the occasional man who askes if they can help you put your hand luggage in the overhead locker, or who holds the door open, rather than let it bang in your face, or who offers to buy you a drink, but they seem few and far between. I have to add, if a man bought me a drink, I'd certainly like to buy him one back.

I look at my dad, he is a true gentleman. He spent 27 years in the armed forces and is a man's man.
Never once, have I heard him swear. Not once.

Where have all the gentlemen gone?

i think this also has a lot to do with it,

http://www.youtube.com/user/skyyjohn?ob ... YY3vDnHr3A

but i wouldn't say that this woman would represent the opinion of all or even most women, i just think that she likes to be treated like sh1t, and she wants to draw that picture of all women being like this. sadly women like her does have some influence on both men and women which even makes it worse for both sexes, women like her would want less men to act as gentlemen, and men would expect women to expect that from them. some women even would come to the conclusion that women dont need men anymore.

i remmember once when i was 15 in london during the summer offering to carry some heavy shopping bags that a woman was carrying and was having trouble with them when she tried to open the door, she started shouting at me WTF. everybody was looking at me and her like i was trying to hit on her or something
i actually put in my mind that i have to think twice before even trying to offer any help to any woman.

at the same time, i wouldnt blame some women to expect a lot of men to act as gentlemen, because a lot of men these days tend to mess up big time and fool around having this image that women are s3x objects, or not bothering to treat women like they should be treated.

women say: Chivalry is dead

and men reply: women killed it

that whole coneption from both is what really is killing it in my opinion

If a guy was trying to insist on helping me get heavy bags into my apartment I'd be very nervous and firmly tell him that I can manage it myself. Screaming is a bit over the top if you ask me, but you don't know her background - maybe she's been attacked before? I mean really, women can lift heavy things. One can shift the bags into the apartment one by one if it is easier. There was no dire need of male assistance, despite your good intentions. If you want to blame anyone, blame the men who came before you who used helping women as a excuse to gain access to the home where they locked them in and attacked them. If we teach our children not to talk to strangers and not accept food or candy or get into their car, why wouldn't women show the same caution about allowing a stranger into their homes?

kanelli wrote:If a guy was trying to insist on helping me get heavy bags into my apartment I'd be very nervous and firmly tell him that I can manage it myself. Screaming is a bit over the top if you ask me, but you don't know her background - maybe she's been attacked before? I mean really, women can lift heavy things. One can shift the bags into the apartment one by one if it is easier. There was no dire need of male assistance, despite your good intentions. If you want to blame anyone, blame the men who came before you who used helping women as a excuse to gain access to the home where they locked them in and attacked them. If we teach our children not to talk to strangers and not accept food or candy or get into their car, why wouldn't women show the same caution about allowing a stranger into their homes?

i agree, but i was only trying to help her through the door of the hotel, i wouldnt try and offer to carry her bags all the way up to her room, i know i would scare her if i even tried to do that, thanks to all the low lifes who call them selves men.

Yes I think women killed it to a point, because they've become so independent and banged on about equality for so many years, that most men think - why bother. It's a tough balancing act. I don't think its got anything to do with chivalry to be honest and more to do with common courtesy to EVERYONE.

On a side note all that really came across in the original post was, I've got this, I've got that and everyone else is inferior. We don't need to know what brand of sunglasses or Chav bag you have or what car you drive, in comparison to other people BM - those details are irrelevant.

Chocoholic wrote:Yes I think women killed it to a point, because they've become so independent and banged on about equality for so many years, that most men think - why bother. It's a tough balancing act. I don't think its got anything to do with chivalry to be honest and more to do with common courtesy to EVERYONE.

On a side note all that really came across in the original post was, I've got this, I've got that and everyone else is inferior. We don't need to know what brand of sunglasses or Chav bag you have or what car you drive, in comparison to other people BM - those details are irrelevant.

No need to be jealous Chocs, you'll get there one day. I always enjoy reading about the house you've just bought, your staff travel, your german boyfriend, your holiday to Australia, your parents farm, your parents boat, your horse, your university, your maid and your dream job.

-- Wed Jul 20, 2011 9:54 am --

general_A wrote:i agree, but i was only trying to help her through the door of the hotel, i wouldnt try and offer to carry her bags all the way up to her room, i know i would scare her if i even tried to do that, thanks to all the low lifes who call them selves men.

Carry on general, I just think you were unfortunate enough to offer to pick a Lesbian that time.
What woman doesn't like a man to offer to carry her bags?

Chocoholic wrote:I don't think its got anything to do with chivalry to be honest and more to do with common courtesy to EVERYONE.

Exactly! Holding a door for a person instead of dropping it in their face is something everyone appreciates. If a man or woman is struggling with carrying something, what is wrong with a man or woman asking if they need help? If I was out in a parking lot or any public place and suddenly found myself being attacked I'd appreciate help from men and women! I can only think of a few cases where special treatment should be given. Like people respecting handicapped parking spaces, and pregnant women, elderly people, handicapped people etc. getting priority seating on public transport - that kind of thing.

Should I be expecting my husband to open the car door for me every day for the rest of my life? If I was wearing a fancy dress that he was helping me get into the car with so that it didn't become dirty, that's certainly appreciated. Otherwise, opening a car door for a woman is just fluff.

Why do women feel threatened by men?

Bethsmum wrote:

Carry on general, I just think you were unfortunate enough to offer to pick a Lesbian that time.
What woman doesn't like a man to offer to carry her bags?

that woman

At last a topic worth getting involved with.

I am ex forces, the 1st thing we were told at basic was to never swear in front of a woman,that was in 79 things are rather different these days.

To me its atomatic to open a door for a female, as it is to offer my seat, or carry her bags, but the thing is now days its looked upon as if your saying to the bint "look miss your ONLY a women so you must need help", which normaly is not well received.

Example, standing outside a lift,door opens woman inside,stand aside for the woman,binty behind me barges past pushing me and the woman in the lift to one side,had that been a bloke i would have grabbed him by the throat and lobbed him down the lift shaft,as it was a woman i just,tut,tutted,in a typical English stylie.

Women have forged there own path so they have to live with it.

Saying that, i do still try to be a Gentleman, but it aint easy.

Bethsmum wrote:Why do women feel threatened by men?

Many years ago, when I was in London, I saw a young lady carrying a baby in what appeared to be a "basket" and struggling with some groceries. I offered to help, and she readily handed me the baby-in-the-basket. After a couple of miles of walking, I was beginning to suspect that the basket was lined with lead or some other heavy metal. After what appeared like another mile of walking, I had arrived at my destination, sweating profusely. As I prised my fingers off the basket straps, I wondered if it was such a great idea to be chivalrous to this extent. I limit myself now to just holding the odd door.

busa, didn't you find it strange that you were not taught that swearing in front of anyone is offensive and looked down upon? Who says that women are more sensitive than others to swearing? (From my experience on this forum it is the men who get most upset )

I can't speak for every woman, but at least I am quite satisfied with the feminist path that was forged and find it quite easy to live with. Men should forget the useless small demonstrations of s.exist "manners" in public and focus on the more important things that women in their lives would like to see from them to show respect, teamwork, and companionship.

Chivalry is a two street, is it not? I'll open doors( slamming a door on anyone's face man or women is rude), lend a coat when it's cold, pick up a heay bag it's all good but in the name of chivalry what can a woman do for me?

kanelli wrote:busa, didn't you find it strange that you were not taught that swearing in front of anyone is offensive and looked down upon? Who says that women are more sensitive than others to swearing? (From my experience on this forum it is the men who get most upset )

I can't speak for every woman, but at least I am quite satisfied with the feminist path that was forged and find it quite easy to live with. Men should forget the useless small demonstrations of s.exist "manners" in public and focus on the more important things that women in their lives would like to see from them to show respect, teamwork, and companionship.

You have hit the nail on the head in your first 3 lines,the case for mankind rest's

Kanelli, Do you eat your men after you've made love?

It's absolutely a two way street and it shouldn't be the men who're expected to do things for women. Women are now victims of their own wish for freedom, now we have it, we shouldn't really complain about it.

Chocoholic wrote:It's absolutely a two way street and it shouldn't be the men who're expected to do things for women. Women are now victims of their own wish for freedom, now we have it, we shouldn't really complain about it.

Well said, now get thy self back to the kitchen wench and maketh me a sammich.

Personally I don't have a problem of certain roles for men and women. I don't feel at all inferior if I'm making a sandwich while the man in my life was out beating something over the head and bringing home the catch. I'm quite comfortable in my own skin and don't feel threatened by any man. I like men
I like to be financially independent because I don't like having to explain myself but I also like to feel 'looked after'.

If a man offered to carry my bags, I'd smile and say 'thanks very much!'

-- Wed Jul 20, 2011 3:43 pm --

busa wrote: Well said, now get thy self back to the kitchen wench and maketh me a sammich.

You sound like my boss, he often tells me to pick up his pen and says 'while you're down there!'

I love the light hearted banter between men and women,and the innocent sexual inuendo,just a pity its all going out of the window,i guess that once women figure out that not all men want to bone them and some just want a good crack (pardon the pun),we could all get on a lot better,seems the more advanced we get the more backwards we become.

We need more Leslie Phillips in the world.

Ding Dong Etc,etc.

busa wrote:I love the light hearted banter between men and women,and the innocent sexual inuendo,just a pity its all going out of the window,i guess that once women figure out that not all men want to bone them and some just want a good crack (pardon the pun),we could all get on a lot better,seems the more advanced we get the more backwards we become.

We need more Leslie Phillips in the world.

Ding Dong Etc,etc.

We have really good crack in our office. My boss once told me that my chest resembled two space hoppers in a race. I never wore that orange jumper again. Totally harmless fun (I think).

busa wrote:

Chocoholic wrote:It's absolutely a two way street and it shouldn't be the men who're expected to do things for women. Women are now victims of their own wish for freedom, now we have it, we shouldn't really complain about it.

Well said, now get thy self back to the kitchen wench and maketh me a sammich.

Oh I've already slaved away in the kitchen making him indoors a massive Shephard's Pie today

That'll make a nice change from bratwurst mit pommes.

LOL

Sorry BM, we don't do sausages with chips! Plus he usually does the cooking because he's better at it than me.

You can't tell me he can't knock a good sausage out? And mayo on the pommes! My favourite!

busa wrote:I love the light hearted banter between men and women,and the innocent sexual inuendo,just a pity its all going out of the window,i guess that once women figure out that not all men want to bone them and some just want a good crack (pardon the pun),we could all get on a lot better,seems the more advanced we get the more backwards we become.

We need more Leslie Phillips in the world.

Ding Dong Etc,etc.

Have men figured out that all women don't want to bone them?

kanelli wrote:

busa wrote:I love the light hearted banter between men and women,and the innocent sexual inuendo,just a pity its all going out of the window,i guess that once women figure out that not all men want to bone them and some just want a good crack (pardon the pun),we could all get on a lot better,seems the more advanced we get the more backwards we become.

We need more Leslie Phillips in the world.

Ding Dong Etc,etc.

Have men figured out that all women don't want to bone them?

Clearly young lady you have never seen me in the flesh,as this would render your statement invalid.

It makes all the difference when a man is polite.