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Without revealing any detail, I've had a rather disturbing PM from someone asking my advice.

In a nut shell this person is very worried that their girlfriend may be pregnant and is wondering if I might be able to offer some advice as how they may induce an early abortion. I'm not a doctor, nor a nurse, so this is not something I could give advice on. I feel sorry that someone is so desperate that they have PM'd me for advice. God love them.

Now please people, don't judge! How many of us can say we have never made a mistake? I certainly can't.

Can anyone offer this person any constructive advice as to where to turn in a situation like this?

I believe it is illegal to offer advice on abortion in the UAE. My advice to him was to try to seek some informal advice from a doctor or nurse in Dubai, or to head home, whereever that may be, and sort it out there. Hopefully the lady is strong, mentally, and can draw a line under her experience and move on with her life.

It may be that money is tight and a return flight home is out of the question.

Any advice to this unfortunate couple is welcome. Personally, my heart goes out to them. It would be a problem easily sorted in the UK, but in the UAE, well it's a different story.

how much are you willing to bet that someone is going to start bashing the UAE for that

anyway, well, good luck to them. hope they come up with a wise decision to solving their problem.

general_A wrote:how much are you willing to bet that someone is going to start bashing the UAE for that

anyway, well, good luck to them. hope they come up with a wise decision to solving their problem.

Is' nt it a crime in the UAE to have a baby out of wedlock?

I'm suspecting a hoax. But if not; they have planes in the UAE and aiports at "friendly" destinations for that sort of thing (and internet to find them)...

Careful next time...

capsicum wrote:

general_A wrote:how much are you willing to bet that someone is going to start bashing the UAE for that

anyway, well, good luck to them. hope they come up with a wise decision to solving their problem.

Is' nt it a crime in the UAE to have a baby out of wedlock?

i dont know, you tell me, you seem to know more about us than we do

Ambassador wrote:I'm suspecting a hoax. But if not; they have planes in the UAE and aiports at "friendly" destinations for that sort of thing (and internet to find them)...

Careful next time...

That's what I thought at first Ambassador. But I think it was genuine.

-- Thu Jul 07, 2011 10:20 am --

general_A wrote:how much are you willing to bet that someone is going to start bashing the UAE for that

anyway, well, good luck to them. hope they come up with a wise decision to solving their problem.

I hope they don't general! You have your laws and they are to be respected. Sometimes people make mistakes and just need a helping hand along the way.

Incidentally there is an article on illegal abortions in GN today and i haev to say the guy in question is braver that this specimen mentioned below:

http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/uae/gener ... e-1.834605

W. Rai, an Indian, first got pregnant at the age of 24. With a boyfriend who'd just left Dubai to study in the United States, Rai was on her own when she found out she was pregnant.

"My boyfriend at the time said that he wanted to have nothing more to do with me, would never even consider marrying me and that if I did go ahead and have the baby, he would disown it. Moreover, he threatened to report me to Dubai Police if I didn't find a way to get rid of this pregnancy

Could be somekind of hoax going around on DF. I got a PM today from some unknown member asking me something about visa related issues ?

desertdudeshj wrote:Could be somekind of hoax going around on DF. I got a PM today from some unknown member asking me something about visa related issues ?

Well DDS, I thought at first it may have been from someone official doing a bit of fishing, so I was a bit guarded in what I replied, saying I wasn't the right person blah blah and I had a reply saying thank you very much blah blah. I thought it was genuine.

If there is a hoax going round and they were from the same person, then there was a certain 'style' to the composition of the message. If you got one from the same person as me you will know what I'm on about.

This is a quote from the GN article posted by BBR

This frightening new trend is a talking point on internet chat sites where UAE residents are writing in with abortion-related queries. One such chat forum led us to J.C., a Filipino expat who sells the pill.

It is a distinct possibility that the queries are simply journalistic license to generate newsworthy articles for the slow news days, coincidental that you should receive a PM on the same subject the day before an article appears in the GN don't you think?

BlackburnRovers wrote:Incidentally there is an article on illegal abortions in GN today and i haev to say the guy in question is braver that this specimen mentioned below:

http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/uae/gener ... e-1.834605

W. Rai, an Indian, first got pregnant at the age of 24. With a boyfriend who'd just left Dubai to study in the United States, Rai was on her own when she found out she was pregnant.

"My boyfriend at the time said that he wanted to have nothing more to do with me, would never even consider marrying me and that if I did go ahead and have the baby, he would disown it. Moreover, he threatened to report me to Dubai Police if I didn't find a way to get rid of this pregnancy

Well, I have just read the article and am now left wondering whether my PM was from a reporter seeking some leads to where to obtain medicines to induce an abortion or a termination, and all because I ventured an opinion on an unplanned pregnancy back in April 2010 (according to the writer of the pm).

I have to say that someone must be desperate to seek a back street abortion as described in that article. Not only is it very dangerous but the women are leaving themselves open to infertility in the future.
Abortion is quite a simple procedure when it's carried out early enough with the correct drugs.

I do wish women would be more sensible and realise that when the going gets tough, the tough get going, as that Indian lady found out to her cost.

@Dillon. I have just read your post, I'm thinking along those lines now I've read the artice. I gave the writer of the PM the benefit of the doubt initially.

Best policy is to ignore PM's from unknow or new members asking dubious questions. I know I've had my fairshare of weird PM's.

desertdudeshj wrote:Best policy is to ignore PM's from unknow or new members asking dubious questions. I know I've had my fairshare of weird PM's.

Thanks for the advice DDS, on hindsight I think you may be right. I wasn't able to help anyway.
I never studied gynecology at school, nor am I a drug pusher. Best I could offer was to use the rhythm method next time.

WOuldn't surprise me, the lazy journos at Gulf News have a nasty habit of trolling forums and stealing 'quotes' from people.

On the subject matter at hand though, yes it is illegal to have a child out of wedlock here. Very dangeours to try and abort a baby here, as if there are any complications and the woman ends up having to go to hospital, they have to report it and she's end up in prison.

As someone else suggested, better off going somewhere else to deal with it.

Chocoholic wrote: On the subject matter at hand though, yes it is illegal to have a child out of wedlock here. Very dangeours to try and abort a baby here, as if there are any complications and the woman ends up having to go to hospital, they have to report it and she's end up in prison.

Choc you make it sound like it is a traffic violation, there is illegal and illegal, in the UAE having a baby out of wedlock is a CRIME punishable by 1 year in prison minimum, for both father and mother.

herve wrote:

Chocoholic wrote: On the subject matter at hand though, yes it is illegal to have a child out of wedlock here. Very dangeours to try and abort a baby here, as if there are any complications and the woman ends up having to go to hospital, they have to report it and she's end up in prison.

Choc you make it sound like it is a traffic violation, there is illegal and illegal, in the UAE having a baby out of wedlock is a CRIME punishable by 1 year in prison minimum, for both father and mother.

Yes, and you know that they're then deported and in many cases the babies are taken away and placed in orphanages!!! You simply can't do it here - end of. Yes, I've had friends who've found themselves pregnant, but they've all been in long term relationships and went and got quickie marriages.

But we're talking about abortion here, which is illegal. So better to get on a plane and go somewhere else to deal with it - as I said before.

May be they can't get on a plane, may be they don't have their passport, may be their sponsor won't allow them to take a leave. For many workers they cannot take a leave before 2 years in their contract

herve wrote:May be they can't get on a plane, may be they don't have their passport, may be their sponsor won't allow them to take a leave. For many workers they cannot take a leave before 2 years in their contract

Well you simply can't do it here and if they do somehow find a way too, as I said the risk of complications could see them jailed. Just not worth it.

How many times does chocs have to tell you herve? zip it

benwj wrote:How many times does chocs have to tell you herve? zip it

benwj wrote:How many times does chocs have to tell you herve? zip it

sorry, could you repeat that for me?

message me on november.0230@gmail.com . I have an extra kit if anyone would like to buy.

This is a tough one. I see only two options here. It's either they start making arrangements for the girl to just go back home (that is if she is not from the UAE), while the guy remains and keep hustling for 3 (Him, the mother to be and the child). The two of them can put their savings together and then send the girl back home.

We all know how expensive medical services cost here in the UAE.

They can also contact friends and family here and back home to raise money for the flight.

Second option is for them to just remain here, while she gives birth. I really dont need to go into details for this option, it's a NO NO. As they are not married.

This is just my own suggestion. Abortion is also a NO NO for me.