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For as long as I can remember I have had these very limiting beliefs about myself. Naturally, these limiting beliefs tend to emerge when I'm in a group of people and in social situations. Sometimes I can be quite the extrovert, and to the blind eye many times I am, but like many others I face inner demons of anxiety and uncomfortable feelings when in social settings.

This issue has exacerbated, I have a very difficult time with women, am painfully shy of them till the point i mumble, sweat or don't even know how to respond. In group settings my shyness wanes but regardless I want to break free of this prison of anxiety.

I have read up on social anxiety disorder and can pinpoint most of my issues to this mental health condition. It seems very treatable and takes time that i am willing to invest (i'm 23 damn it!). I want to change my life around, and was hoping someone around the forums might be able to guide me in the right direction

Sorry I can't help you with your issues but I think shyness is quite an attractive feature in a man. Don't presume all women want some wide boy. They don't. Just be yourself and smile. There is nothing more attractive than a smilie face.

Don't be convinced you have problems, you just haven't met the right person yet.

Good luck,

Dad, have you always felt like that? Or is it something that's manifested over the years? Very often things like this occur later in life due to early experiences, such as maybe issues at school, bullying that kind of thing. You're not a lone, so don't feel that you are.

If you need someone to talk to, the people at the Dubai Community Health Centre are wonderful and deal with all sorts of issues. Also Dr Hany at the Dubai Mall Medical centre is fantastic.

Bethsmum, I do agree with you, but the reason it's such an issue with me is that I have such an expressive personality, and these anxieties rarely allow me to just be comfortable with someone without second guessing anything i say, or even then saying nothing at all. I do smile, but excessively....it becomes painfully obvious that i'm uncomfortable =S.

Chocoholic, yes this is an issue i have dealt with for as long as i can remember. At times i can be quite outgoing and cool calm collected, and others an anxious wreck. i love to talk and laugh, but at times find myself so reserved and anxious that I am barely able to speak.

I know I'm not alone, and both of your responses mean a lot. maybe the health centre would be a great place to start!

Dad, it must be so frustrating to live with anxiety like that. It is great that you are seeking help now while you are young and can look forward to as many more years as possible having good social relationships with others. Good luck with everything!

When you get excessive, it sounds like you're almost trying to over compensated. Try some meditations to calm yourself and learn to keep yourself in check.

The therapists at the DCHC are wonderful and sometimes it's just nice to get an outsiders perspective and some suggestions on how to deal with these issues.

Good luck!

Kanelli: It is incredibly frustrating particularly because i really enjoy talking to people, and sometimes I think (and know) I give off the wrong impression, that i'm ignoring someone or being inattentive when in reality im just wrapped up in being anxious rather than just being social.

Thanks Chocoholic =) I do a bit of cognitive therapy, meditation and the like, i'll admit i have been bad about it and inconsistent, perhaps it's about time i get at it again.

I know it's easy for me to say but just take your time and chill out. I know I'll probably take some flack for this but do you drink? If not ignore the following suggestion, have you tried just having a glass of wine? It will mellow you and may give you a little bit of confidence. Now I'm not suggesting you get hammered!
They say smoking chills you out, I don't know because I've never smoked.

Don't try too hard!

I’m going through a bad patch at the moment, I suddenly feel totally rejected, unwanted, redundant and abandoned, I was just enjoying a little touchy feely session in the shower when my hand fell asleep.

Dillon wrote:I’m going through a bad patch at the moment, I suddenly feel totally rejected, unwanted, redundant and abandoned, I was just enjoying a little touchy feely session in the shower when my hand fell asleep.

Sure it was your hand that fell asleep ?

Bethsmum: I do drink, but unfortunately i do coax myself into getting drunk in order to feel comfortable. No not silly and obnoxious, but I definitely drink to elude anxious feelings. I know alcohol is a social lubricant, but definitely don't like relying on it to get me in the mood

Dillon: That made my day, hahahaha!!! Classic........

Well it's good to see you haven't lost your sense of humour in your current plight, I hope you manage to find a way out, humour is always good for the soul.

Regards

Hello that's me it's exactly my situation, dad is your name Ramy by any chance, I'm afraid of girls dont talk to them, never will I love I think, never will I get someone I find attractive and she will accept me, I crave having female friends, I have anxiety from other people as well, I always have these negative thoughts in my head I kinda know its not true but there is a slight feeling I have that it is, it's like OCD, people are gonna be hateful towards me they wont like me they will think I'm stupid loser or make fun of me, girls specially pretty ones are gonna be mean to me or reject me with if I try to talk to them, people wanna fight with me, people think I'm ugly and I don't find myself beautiful because of it, every time I pass a group of people or when I talk to one in a group and pass I hear them laughing and I immediately feel that they are making fun of me, I can never tell them and I never I did but I feel that something about me is provoking them and they make fun of, people always don't understand what I say and I always have to explain, I'm smart I'm not dumb but I'm socially delayed, I don't have friends except one and he doesn't call me so doesn't really count, no one cares, I'm afraid of people, I'm afraid of fighting, I dont like violence and I don't like negative atmosphere, I always have to be very careful, I'm an expressive person as well, I'm not comfortable with people, I don't know what to do, I always have suicidal and death thoughts, I wish I could be free of this anxiety, I want to be a normal person who can talk to people, Love and be loved, I'm currently searching for social work in dubai