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Hi everyone,
My family and I are movingbto Dubai next month from the UK so I'm in the middle of sorting out the acommodation, nurseries and cars. We both start work the first week in July and are coming out for a look the first week in June. I have a few questions I hope someone can help with:

What nurseries run during the summer. The ones I've looked at (TLC and Jebal Ali Village) have summer camps but close at 2pm each day - is this standard through the summer? Our daughter will be 14 months when we come out - Is there a strict lower age limit?

If we decide to get a maid, how quickly are they typically available? Do you need to take them on for a full year? What is a reasonable cost for live in maid/nanny?

These are the main sticking points just now. Look forward to your thoughts and comments.

OGM

HI OGM,

14 months sounds young, even for Dubai.
2pm finish sounds about right. Around the same time that schools finish.
The reason that childminding is not an issue is because most people have maids, and nurseries are justified more for education.

Maids on the ground are not as common as they once were but you shouldn't have too much difficulty finding one looking for a western boss. She can begin work, and you can start the sponsorship process immediately after you and your wife get your own visas. I think the employment contract is for 2 years, but sponsorship is per year. 1500AED per month seems to be about the average rate.

OGM
I can't help you with the cost of child care in Dubai or the cost of a nanny as I don't live in Dubai, but I do have a holiday home in JBR which I use fairly regularly.
Please be careful when employing anyone to look after your child. It never amazes me to see the people that some parents employ as 'nannies'.
Walking through JBR at any time of the day, you see loads of Filipino girls sitting around talking to each other or on their mobiles accompanied by some small child. The kids are either sat in their buggies, usually crying or running around the place unsupervised. I've see 3 or 4 year old running along walls, where if they fell, they would at best, knock their teeth out, picking food off the floor and eating it. I even saw one Filipino lie the baby on a wall and change it's nappy. I was coming out of my tower a couple of weeks ago and there were these pair of small hooligans running through the flower beds. It's part of my service charge that maintains the beds! I asked the person standing watching them if she was responsible for them. She just looked at me so I told her in no uncertain terms to get those kids off the flowers. She just aked them if they had heard what i'd said, so I told them too, just in case they had missed it.
You really won't know what's going on when you aren't there. That's not to say they are all like this, there must be one or two decent ones, but as in everything, buyer beware!

Aren't there any nurseries which are geared to working parents as in 8 till 6? I sent my daughter to one in the UK. I always think it's better to consider there's safety in numbers. If someone's having a bad day (as we all do) there is less risk to the child when there are others around.

My Australian friend recently sent her maid/nanny back to the Philipines when she discovered that she'd had her boyfriend in the apartment and 3000dhs had gone missing from my friends wardrobe. She'd had it stashed for a rainy day in a cd box. Someone had been hunting about and found it. The maid had been with them for a couple of years, she was well treated as they are a very nice australian family. They had to pay for her flight home and she left them with a huge phone bill as a going away present.

After all that, I wish you good luck, I hope you enjoy Dubai.

Thanks for the feedback. I think I might have to ask my mum/aunties to take a trip out to a month and pay for their flights. At least until the nurseries open in September again.

benwj - good to know the going rate and contract etc. thanks for that. Do people typically go through an agency or just contact the person direct - through an advert for example - dubizzle etc.

bethsmum - interesting stories. I've put my rose tinted glasses away - tselection is not going to be as easy as first thought. Due dilligence will be key, references etc etc. I'm now thinking along the same lines as you - nurseries are the way to go - if only I can get one that is open during the summer and from 8am-5/6pm

Thanks again.

OGM

There are minimum salaries for different nationalities now. Bear in mind that 'maids' are not qualified child minders.

In all honesty why don't you take a look at expatwoman.com they have seperate sections for all the things that you're asking.

I seriously doubt you are going to find a nursery open those hours for you little one.

OilGasMan wrote:benwj - good to know the going rate and contract etc. thanks for that. Do people typically go through an agency or just contact the person direct - through an advert for example - dubizzle etc.

expat woman that Chocs mentioned has lots of housemaid ads. The other place to get them is on shopping centre noticeboards. Agencies are expensive and you won't meet the maid until after you have sponsored her (although 3 month guarantee from agency).
You can hire a nanny from the UK etc and bring her Dubai also, but not many people do this.

OGM!

The other place to get them is on shopping centre noticeboards.

ben is the master of sarcasm on DF! I do hope he is being his usual sarcastic self here!

Would you really engage someone, advertising on a shopping centre noticeboard, to look after your 14 month old child?
You may as well just put it up for adoption. At least the carer would have gone through Police checks. Fostered children, in the UK, can't even stay overnight at a sleep over without the relevant Police checks!

I'm in the process of getting a maid.
My criteria is that she has to be ugly enough to realise that prostitution won't pay.
She also has to be old and happy with her lot in life.

How about it BM?

benwj wrote:I'm in the process of getting a maid.
My criteria is that she has to be ugly enough to realise that prostitution won't pay.
She also has to be old and happy with her lot in life.

How about it BM?

LOL You cheeky get

Do not!!! I repeat: Do not!!!! take in someone from an advert!!! An agency is your best bet. You have a trial period where you can return/replace. You will also have to put down a deposit (6,000 AED?) with the government and process/pay all sponsorship costs.

If I were to have a housemaid my preference would be Indonesian. Problem for you would be that they are Muslim and pork is a no-no - can't handle, can't cook it and they generally work for Muslim families. Work with benwj's criteria, except I would go with fugly, rather than just plain ugly. (eliminates any temptation )

You are responsible for them, even on their days off and they are out of the home. You will also be wise to hold onto her passport. Terrible I know, but necessary. You may want to purchase a baby cam from the UK so that you can see what is going on when your child is in the care of the person you bring into your home. If something pops up, you can't use it in a case against the housemaid, you can only threaten her with it and get rid of her.

Keep in mind that these "nannies" are not nannies, but housemaids and have no childcare training/experience other than what they received from previous employers, or if they are brought in and you are their first placement, they have no childcare experience. They don't come close to a proper Nanny/Au Pair.

As Chocs said, check expatwoman.com. They have an entire section devoted to maids. Alot of info about maids and you get to see the good, the bad, the ugly, as well as expats who are looking to rehome their maid - which is probably the best source.

http://www.expatwoman.com/forum/topics.aspx?ForumID=42

Yup you defo want fugly, otherwise she might be tempted - one woman caught the maid banging her son lol - oops!

Sri Lankan's aren't bad, I have a lovely lady that comes in twice a week and does an grand job of the pit that is usually our place.

Chocoholic wrote:Yup you defo want fugly, otherwise she might be tempted - one woman caught the maid banging her son lol - oops!

Sri Lankan's aren't bad, I have a lovely lady that comes in twice a week and does an grand job of the pit that is usually our place.

I'm a bit confused! How would her being fugly stop her being tempted? Surely you mean your boyfriend may be tempted?
Her being ugly would not stop her banging (how charming) the son, but may stop the son being tempted.
Personally I'm a tidy person anyway but I always make sure my place is in good order before anyone comes to clean. I would be horrified to think a cleaner, or anyone else for that matter, thought I lived in a hovel.

whatever you do, dont get a maid and I would recommend that either you or your partner looks after your child.

Never leave your child with anyone in dubai or anywhere on earth!!!

if you dont believe me do your own research about recent stories about dubai children on way to bus, nannies etc etc

End of the day its your decision.

Oh please, if someone is going to cheat they will cheat with whoever. Did you check out the maid that Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a child with? Look at all the men in Dubai who cheat with other women who aren't domestic helpers. If you need to set so many restrictions and start off with very little trust between you and the helper, then it is probably a good sign that you shouldn't have one - it isn't worth the stress for either party. If you do want to hire a helper then I'd recommend taking someone who comes highly recommended by previous employers that you can speak with. A woman at least in her 30's with lots of experience and love for children is better, and Filipinos tend to have the best English language skills and higher education level, so also a bonus when playing with and caring for your child. I wouldn't trust an agency or advert alone. Have a long interview in your home with your child present and observe the candidate. If she isn't natural and loving to your child, don't hire her. Don't be afraid to ask about who she supports back in her home country, or if she has a boyfriend etc. because it can give you an idea of any potential sources of money problems, which is the main reason why some helpers screw over employers... a personal debt problem. Try to choose someone who takes pride in her work, and has good self-esteem as she is less likely to cause a problem for you and less likely to have issues outside of work hours. You are more likely to have a helper who looks after you and your child well if you look after her well too. I'm not an expert, have only had 1 helper, but this is what I have observed from seeing the helper scene and meeting friends' helpers etc.

Why does a woman who doesn't work outside the home need a helper?

Bethsmum wrote:Why does a woman who doesn't work outside the home need a helper?

because shes a lazy bum and she wants to play slave master thing. you know some women have strange fantasies

Bethsmum wrote:Why does a woman who doesn't work outside the home need a helper?

Why does a woman send her children away to boarding school in another country for the duration of their schooling?

I think many people forget that when you're an expat, you don't have family close by or even in the same country, who would normally come and help out, esp with newborns or young children. Everyone's circumstance is different. For example my parents live ten minutes round the corner from my brother, he works full time and his wife is in nursing school - she's been studying whilst pregnant with their second child. Child number 1 goes to kindergarten 3 days a week, on the other days my parents have her, so bro and SIL can work and be in college.

Baby number 2 has just arrived and they are soooo grateful to have my parents close by to help out.

How many people living abroad can say they have the same help and support? Which is why people get nannies to 'help' with the children or maids to at least do the house chores.

Exactly Chocs

kanelli wrote:

Bethsmum wrote:Why does a woman who doesn't work outside the home need a helper?

Why does a woman send her children away to boarding school in another country for the duration of their schooling?

When I had my elder two children I lived in Germany. i didn't have any support from family. My elder daughter was admitted to hospital with septic arthritus when she was 6. My husband was on excercise and he wasn't allowed home. i didn't have a slave to help. I relied on a friend to look after my 5 year old while I stayed at the hospital.

The reason my kids went to boarding school was that I wanted the very best education that i could afford. They went to a top notch school, had fantastic opportunities and are reaping the benefits now (well one is).
That's a whole lot different than employing some random Filipino to mind the kids while you swan off to knitting circles. I thought the World's Greatest Mom looked after own kids 24/7.

hi BM,while was reading you post I remembered someone told me before, women and men are equal somewhere, hmm where where where ...

Mahmoud04 wrote:hi BM,while was reading you post I remembered someone told me before, women and men are equal somewhere, hmm where where where ...

Not sure what you're on about there Mahmoud! Care to explain?

yea sure, I remember I once posted on something u shared about ur daughter, and u posted back about the equality etc.... and here u kinda made it obvious there could be inequality when it comes to kids and roles at home...

Anyway I think the maids option is not bad neither good, it depends how far the couple can handle their life, but it gets bad when the couple put everything on the maid just not to handle the mess kids might do...

Oh I totally disagree with 'maids' looking after children, afterall they have no formal qualifications in child care at all. It makes me sad when I see so many parents here taking a less than active role in the upbringing of their children.

Both my wife and I are working which is why we need some cover outside of nursery hours. We're not keen about it but it's what we have to do.
Can anyone recommend nurseries in the business bay area open 7:30 to 4 or 5 ish?

I don't think anything is open that late. Schools kick out around 2ish.

Take a look at expatwoman.com there are whole sections on such topics.

OilGasMan wrote:Both my wife and I are working which is why we need some cover outside of nursery hours. We're not keen about it but it's what we have to do.
Can anyone recommend nurseries in the business bay area open 7:30 to 4 or 5 ish?

One of the benefits of living in Dubai is that the higher salaries allow one of the parents to stay at home.
I find it hard to believe that you can't live very comfortably on one "oil and gas man" wage.
If you don't like the idea of allowing a maid to raise your child you don't have to in Dubai.

My wife works 4 days a week so on a pro-rata and I came in on a reduced wage with little benefits, certainly by expat standards, as I was replacing a chap on a local contract. So weighing up costs and income we're both working.

Mahmoud04 wrote:yea sure, I remember I once posted on something u shared about ur daughter, and u posted back about the equality etc.... and here u kinda made it obvious there could be inequality when it comes to kids and roles at home...

Anyway I think the maids option is not bad neither good, it depends how far the couple can handle their life, but it gets bad when the couple put everything on the maid just not to handle the mess kids might do...

Sorry Mahmoud, you've lost me. I've never been a one to bleat on about the fathers role in a childs upbringing.
I don't have a problem with equality. Things are what they are.

Bethsmum wrote:

kanelli wrote:

Bethsmum wrote:Why does a woman who doesn't work outside the home need a helper?

Why does a woman send her children away to boarding school in another country for the duration of their schooling?

When I had my elder two children I lived in Germany. i didn't have any support from family. My elder daughter was admitted to hospital with septic arthritus when she was 6. My husband was on excercise and he wasn't allowed home. i didn't have a slave to help. I relied on a friend to look after my 5 year old while I stayed at the hospital.

The reason my kids went to boarding school was that I wanted the very best education that i could afford. They went to a top notch school, had fantastic opportunities and are reaping the benefits now (well one is).
That's a whole lot different than employing some random Filipino to mind the kids while you swan off to knitting circles. I thought the World's Greatest Mom looked after own kids 24/7.

Why do you refer to helpers as slaves? Because you want to be a bi.tch. Why do you judge other families that employ helpers? Because you want to be a b.itch. How do you know that some women are not studying, working part time, or homeschooling their kids, or going on outings and spending time with their kids without being tied down to household chores... because I can tell you that this is exactly what some women are doing. The people you like to call friends in Dubai have helpers, even Mohammed the Torso, whose family you are so impressed with with the fancy villa, nice cars, exotic pets and all. I wonder how many "slaves" they have and what their salaries and privileges are? Best not to think past the glamour though BM

British aristocracy was full of families with children cared for by nannies and the entire house run by servants, and children were sent off to boarding school as well. You are very proud of your British history, no? No doubt it looked impressive to your friends that you to sent your kids to boarding school. However, it still doesn't eliminate the fact that your kids were being cared for exclusively by others for years. Plenty of children around the world marry well educated spouses and have successful careers and they did not attend boarding school. If something is missing in the academic system there is always a choice to supplement with home studies. It was your choice to send your children abroad to be cared for and educated by others rather than keep the kids at home in Germany and supplement their studies.

So there you go, I can throw some judgment right back at you.

-- Tue May 31, 2011 8:59 am --

rudeboy wrote:

Bethsmum wrote:Why does a woman who doesn't work outside the home need a helper?

because shes a lazy bum and she wants to play slave master thing. you know some women have strange fantasies

How about the billions of men out there who expect their mothers and wives to cook, clean, wash and iron for them, as well as care for the children on top of working full time? Guess they are lazy slave masters too, eh?