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Mr BB's ex boss is in town (Mr X) who is also a very good friend. On Tuesday we planned to take Mr X out for a lovely dinner tonight as he was catching his flight home later in the evening. Mr X texted Mr BB that Mr Y would like to join us. Mr Y is also an ex-colleague who Mr BB has kept in touch with and got together with him every so often, so Mr BB, with some reservation, told Mr X no problem. The reservation comes from the fact that Mr Y, in all the years that we got together with him and Mrs Y, never, ever put his hand in his pocket to pick up a tab or offer to even pay for half. He either forgot his wallet in the car, or at home, excused himself to go to the men's room when the check arrived, or his arms were too short to pick up the check. Mr BB for years had a wonderful ability to overlook peoples cheapness, but now he gets really turned off by cheap people.

Anywho, Mr Y called Mr BB about attending the dinner and mentioned that Mrs Y, who is also a former colleague and someone Mr BB doesn't really take to, would also be coming along to dinner!!! Now he invited himself to our dinner and informed Mr BB that his wife will also be coming.

Only one hitch here: Mrs Y and myself have a mutual understanding - we don't particularly care for each other and haven't seen each other in about 7 years. Mr Y told Mr BB that he knew that Mrs Y and I aren't fond of each other and wasn't sure how it would go, and here's the punch line........................but we were still welcome to come along!!!!! Told Mr BB to enjoy the dinner but he informed me that there was no way he was going along. Now, I have to wonder if Mrs Y thought it would be worth it to "overlook" our mutual feelings thinking that as usual we would be picking up the check???? Mr and Mrs Y had a full week to invite Mr X out to dinner and get around to doing it this afternoon on the day he is scheduled to depart!!!!

Now how did we start off hosting a dinner, having 2 people invite themselves, and then to being basically pushed out/uninvited???

Yeah, this is one of those things I just luuuuvvvvvvvv about Dubai. Never been in one place with so many rude and cheap people!!!!

Are you serious? That's terrible, some people are just beyond belief. Look on the upside though, at least you won't be picking up the cheque!

That's just extremely rude.

Chocoholic wrote:Are you serious? That's terrible, some people are just beyond belief. Look on the upside though, at least you won't be picking up the cheque!

That's just extremely rude.

Definitely cost saving. I just wonder if Mr X will be picking up the check or if it's going to be a stand off. One time I told Mr BB to leave the bill on the table and see what would happen. It was a stand off and I finally told Mr BB to pay the bill or we would end up being there all night!!!! That was the last time we went out with them. But it wasn't the last time they asked that we get together for dinner!!!!

Here's another priceless moment with these people. We were over at their house and they ordered takeaway for all of us. He couldn't find his wallet and she couldn't find her purse!!! Guess who paid???

Are they Scottish by any chance?



Knight

What I do in those situations, is go Dutch - take the bill, put the amount of cash inside that covers yourself and hubby, then hand it over to the others Or if it's a card, summon the waiter and quite clearly state how much he is to charge on the card, then just look at the others.

Dubai Knight wrote:Are they Scottish by any chance?



Knight

Nope. Mr Y from Belgium and I believe Mrs Y German. But no one nationality owns rude and cheap, based on my experience.

-- Thu May 05, 2011 8:29 pm --

Chocoholic wrote:What I do in those situations, is go Dutch - take the bill, put the amount of cash inside that covers yourself and hubby, then hand it over to the others Or if it's a card, summon the waiter and quite clearly state how much he is to charge on the card, then just look at the others.

Chocs, we couldn't bring ourselves to doing that. We just make the decision to no longer go out with these people again.

I have friends where it is an understanding that we split the bill regardless of who has what, then I have those where we alternate paying the bill regardless of what the last bill was. It comes down to being with friends where money isn't an issue and it always balances out. Not people who are looking for a free meal. If they were in a position not to afford to pay and we know their circumstances, that's one thing, it would give us pleasure to treat someone out to a nice dinner, but when I know that they can well afford it, that sticks in my throat.

I know this isn't nice, but all the money this couple saved at the expense of others, they invested a huge amount in an investment company that actually ended up a scam. Karma???

Last time I went Dutch with somebody, the other party actually calculated the % of VAT for his part
(after exactly calculating his portion and drinks, come the think of it, thats not really Dutch is it? Going Dutch is splitting the bill 50/50 I believe).

There seems to be a certain social protocol with regards to picking up the bill. If not going Dutch, the first person who picks up the bill eventually pays, but somebody else has to offer to pay. Kind off like a three way step:

person x picking up the bill
person y: No, I want to pay
person x: no, no I pay

And thats it. Person y offered to pay and person x feels person y is not cheap. Problem is with people who do not abide this protocol:

person x picking up the bill
person y: No, I want to pay
person x: oh, ok, thanks

Yes, going Dutch is every participant paying equal shares, regardless of who ate lobster or who didn’t.

Sadly, there are more Mr and Mrs Y’s around than I think people realise, we have a guiding rule in our little social group and that is the host picks up the tab, if I invite, I pay.

There was one couple who didn’t return the invitations, after reminders, they no longer join us.

Dillon wrote:Yes, going Dutch is every participant paying equal shares, regardless of who ate lobster or who didn’t.

Sadly, there are more Mr and Mrs Y’s around than I think people realise, we have a guiding rule in our little social group and that is the host picks up the tab, if I invite, I pay.

There was one couple who didn’t return the invitations, after reminders, they no longer join us.

A friend of ours used to get together once a week with a group of buddies and each week they would take turns picking up the tab. When it came to one guys turn, he didn't show up for the gathering. He did this over time when it was his turn They got fed up and at the next gathering when he showed up they gave him the tab. He dropped out after that.

Well, when it's "friends" saying "hey, let's get together and have dinner" I think Dutch is a good thing. I've been out with some "ladies" with the understanding that we would go Dutch, but when it came to paying, they picked the check apart - who had what - and didn't factor in a tip!!!

We had (key word: HAD) friends who are very well off that we invited to dinner out and at home a few times. They loved coming over to our house to eat because we enjoy entertaining and I love to cook. It got to where they would invite themselves over for dinner. I came to learn that they ate crap at home (dal, rice, bread and Kraft cheese) for lunch and dinner. On those occasions we went out to dinner he also had short arms and deep pockets. I caught on to them very early, but it took a while for Mr BB to accept that they were screwing him!!

I agree Dillon, there are many Mr and Mrs Y's in Dubai, who try to get around having to pay for a meal in different ways.

That sort of thing can give you high blood pressure!
Now, I only socialize for pleasure with people that i know very well, where it really does not matter who pays! I can pay every time, if the company is good. After all, its just small change.
For business, its a different story.

I hate tight people. When we go out from work, we usually have a kitty. It makes those who usually disappear to the toilet when it's their round, pay up. Bills for food are split evenly between the amount of people present.
If I go out with friends, we either take turns in paying or split it evenly each time.
Funnily enough one of the tightest people I know is my sister. I swear to God she squeaks as she walks. We had a get together for one of my dads birthdays a couple of years ago. I arranged a really nice cake, with an RAF theme. It cost me a small fortune and it was pre arranged that we would split the cost. After the get together, she told me to give her a ring to tell her how much she owed me and she would send me her share.
Seeing as she lives about 100 miles away from me, I wondered why she just didn't offer me her share there and then. I never phoned and she never paid. it's not the first time she has done me like that. I'm still waiting for her to pay her share of my dads flying lessons that 'we' bought him for Christmas years ago.
I've finally learnt my lesson and I never share the cost of anything with her.

There's no problem splitting a bill equally when everyone has basically had about the same, but some can take the mick and go over board. That's why dinners with a pre-set cost are a good idea.

After getting ripped off several times I now ask for a separate bill for myself. When eating out as a couple with others we all arrange for separate bills. A few times we've gone Dutch when we all had about same bill anyway.

Chocoholic wrote:There's no problem splitting a bill equally when everyone has basically had about the same, but some can take the mick and go over board. That's why dinners with a pre-set cost are a good idea.

Those aren't true friends Choc. Friends don't take the mick.

kanelli wrote:After getting ripped off several times I now ask for a separate bill for myself. When eating out as a couple with others we all arrange for separate bills. A few times we've gone Dutch when we all had about same bill anyway.

Who are you going out with that would want to rip you off?
If I'm out with friends or colleagues I wouldn't dream of asking for a seperate bill, even if it placed me at a disadvantage financially. Who wants to end a nice evening worrying about who ate and drank what? I really couldn't be bothered.

It's another story if someone is avoiding paying altogether, but they aren't friends.

Luckily, I’ve rarely eaten out with people who intentionally disappear after I ask for the check.

When I invite someone, I naturally pay, with pleasure. Likewise, when I’m invited by someone, I naturally expect them to pay.

But with colleagues and close friends, we usually split the check equally . And if it’s with couples, we usually ask for separate checks.

When invited, I try not order expensive items as a courtesy to the person who’s paying, unless he or she is on a business account.

Tom Jones wrote:Luckily, I’ve rarely eaten out with people who intentionally disappear after I ask for the check.

When I invite someone, I naturally pay, with pleasure. Likewise, when I’m invited by someone, I naturally expect them to pay.

But with colleagues and close friends, we usually split the check equally . And if it’s with couples, we usually ask for separate checks.

When invited, I try not order expensive items as a courtesy to the person who’s paying, unless he or she is on a business account.

Same, same...except that when in a group all pay equally...even if you only had a salad! Them the rules!