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To all and sundry DF'ers, have a Happy Easter.

In celebration, I send you a Cadbury's Creme Egg that has been in Dubai a little while!





Knight

Happy Easter and Happy Passover DK!

Is that a picture of Chocs on her sunbed?

As Jesus was drawing his last breaths, while still nailed to the cross by the Romans at Mount Calvary, he noticed Peter in the crowd below, slowly lifting his head he raised his eyebrows and beckoned Peter to come closer, ‘Hey Peter? Come here’ he whispered.

Peter, filled with resolve, started to negotiate with the Roman Centurions keeping the hordes away from their saviour for him alone to pass, his words fell on deaf ears and the discussion turned heated, then a fight ensued, Peter after losing an arm, an ear, several teeth and an eye eventually fought his way through the line of soldiers and ran to the foot of Jesus’ cross. I’m here my Lord, tell me? what is it you want of me? How can serve you one last time?

Jesus lifted his head and in his dying breath said… Peter… I can see our house from here!



Happy Easter All.

Happy Easter - don't eat too much chocolate, although in DK's case it'll be choccy, vino, choccy, vino etc etc

All the Creme eggs have disappeared! Gutted

It cannot be found in the scriptures, but one story has it that upon his resurrection, the Lord appeared to a certain fisherman.

"I am Jesus - My death has saved all who do or will believe, and I am returned to show the Father's love and power.
"No, you're not Jesus, so bugger off, you're scaring all the fish," answered the old fisherman.
"I see thou are full of doubt. What would thee have me do to show who I am?"
"Walk across the river," he tells Jesus.

So Jesus starts walking across the river. Next thing, he sinks and disappears under the water. After he swims back to shore, the old man says to him, "There you are, see, you're not Jesus, you can't walk across water"

Jesus responds, "Well, I used to be able to do it until I got these bloody holes in my feet!"

Old JC is nailed up on the cross and he calls to St Peter "Peter, Peter take out these nails!"

Peter looks up and says "But Lord, the Roman soldiers will kill me if I try to get close."

"Fear not", says JC, "For God will make them blinded for one moment to allow you to do me this service."

Sure enough, there is a bright flash of light and all the Roman soldiers are stumbling around blind.

Peter grabs a ladder and a claw hammer and climbs up to Jesus and, with all his strength, pulls the nails from the palms of his hands.

At which point Jesus gives a plaintiff cry...





"Feet first, you twat!!!"



Knight

Ever wondered why Catholics dont use condoms??





Because little boys dont get pregnant!

zonker wrote:Ever wondered why Catholics dont use condoms??





Because little boys dont get pregnant!

Hey Zonky Boy, I think you erred with your smileys there....surely YOU were not smiling but drooling right?

Besides in case you thought we were fools, you should realize when you say something out of spite, it ceases to be funny!!!

Misery Called Life wrote:

zonker wrote:Ever wondered why Catholics dont use condoms??





Because little boys dont get pregnant!

Hey Zonky Boy, I think you erred with your smileys there....surely YOU were not smiling but drooling right?

Besides in case you thought we were fools, you should realize when you say something out of spite, it ceases to be funny!!!

Hit a nerve there MCL? You're a Catholic then?

Why do you ask? Didn't you find my reply witty?

The answer to your second question would be yes.

Please note people, the title of this thread is HAPPY Easter.

If you can't be happy, don't press the keys in front of you.



Knight

Bethsmum wrote:

Misery Called Life wrote:

zonker wrote:Ever wondered why Catholics dont use condoms??





Because little boys dont get pregnant!

Hey Zonky Boy, I think you erred with your smileys there....surely YOU were not smiling but drooling right?

Besides in case you thought we were fools, you should realize when you say something out of spite, it ceases to be funny!!!

Zonky Boy?? ......Your manners seem to have deserted you; or maybe you didnt have any to begin with!
What is there to drool about? I am certainly no priest!
You simply exude BAD KARMA!!
Allow me to explain it all to you , although you say you are no fool, that this was just a joke based upon the numerous cases of pedophilia that have surfaced in the Catholic Church, just in case you have missed the news on many of the International channels. You can even "Google It"!
So, the smileys were not an error!
I must admit that I have seen you posting on many threads, but I was unable to go past your nick....Misery Called Life.....which caused a certain degree of anguish to me, and I silently sympathised with you.
I hope the name MCL has nothing to do with your being a Catholic!
My advice to you is to chill, as there was no spite intended.
Just have a laugh instead! Your post was quite funny in a way, but not witty!
Peace!

^^^ Good Morning Zonky Boy. That was a lovely reply. I hope it made you feel better. Have a great day.

^^I am elated, Misery Boy!
Now take a hike! Scram!!

No Easter Bunny for you misery guts out there!

The Hounds of the Baskervillas strike again!



Knight

That can't be an Easter bunny DK! There is snow on the ground in that picture. It's glorious weather in the UK!

@ Zonky Boy
I understand what you’re trying to say, basically you wanna say look Zonky is sorry, cos Zonky is a hypocrite who was always thought not to respect people of other cultures and to always think he was superior to them. But with every passing day he realizes the folly of his upbringing and bears ridicule after ridicule for basically being a nincompoop. Unfortunately his limited intelligence and supremely sad existence will prevent him from making any changes and so he seeks solace on internet forums, chastising others, to justify his own appalling upbringing. In light of the hazardous self - destructive nature of Zonky Boy, I shall refrain from hurting his fragile ego any further.
You need help Zonky Boy.

PS everytime I call you Zonky Boy I hope you do not get turned on.


@ DK It's an Easter thread. Along comes this faggot spouting filth for no apparent reason but out of prejudice or must I say hate? I merely called him on that!!!

Misery Called Life wrote:@ Zonky Boy
I understand what you’re trying to say, basically you wanna say look Zonky is sorry, cos Zonky is a hypocrite who was always thought not to respect people of other cultures and to always think he was superior to them. But with every passing day he realizes the folly of his upbringing and bears ridicule after ridicule for basically being a nincompoop. Unfortunately his limited intelligence and supremely sad existence will prevent him from making any changes and so he seeks solace on internet forums, chastising others, to justify his own appalling upbringing. In light of the hazardous self - destructive nature of Zonky Boy, I shall refrain from hurting his fragile ego any further.
You need help Zonky Boy.

PS everytime I call you Zonky Boy I hope you do not get turned on.


@ DK It's an Easter thread. Along comes this faggot spouting filth for no apparent reason but out of prejudice or must I say hate? I merely called him on that!!!

MCL It was a joke! I've seen Catholic jokes on this forum before. I'm sure it wasn'r mean to give so much offence.
It's usually only Muslims that have a sense of humour failure.

^^^ It's a joke when it's meant to be funny. That didn't sound like a joke BM, seemed more like a cheap low blow said out of spite (his subsequent replies have made that amply clear). It was meant to give offense BM and I pointed that out. It's not like I care a damn bout Catholic jokes, but the intention has to be taken into consideration right?

Misery Called Life wrote:^^^ It's a joke when it's meant to be funny. That didn't sound like a joke BM, seemed more like a cheap low blow said out of spite (his subsequent replies have made that amply clear). It was meant to give offense BM and I pointed that out. It's not like I care a damn bout Catholic jokes, but the intention has to be taken into consideration right?

Aww MCL, I'm sorry you've taken it so badly. I know Zonker wouldn't have meant to cause so much offense. He really isn't like that. I know 100% that he wouldn't have meant to offend anyone. It started as a joke and it's gone down hill.

@ Misery Boy:
Oh dear, oh dear! You really are a Misery, arent you, Boy? I thought you were told by DK not to spoil his Happy Easter thread, and here you are spewing out some smelly contents from your rear end all over the place.
I keep telling you, I dont get turned on by you, because I am not a preist or anything like it! Look elsewhere if thats the way you swing.
You are projecting yourself to be a rather aggressive little specimen, wherever you come from. I am told that vegetarians are not really that aggressive!

@ BM, so its not just the Muslims who have a sense of humour failure! As is so well demonstrated by Misery Boy here.

Just to lighten your mood, Misery Boy, here is another Catholic Joke (Cut and Paste) from the I'net:

"As you've probably heard, the Pope has asked all the Cardinals to return to Rome. You know how they got them all to come back? They told them that there was going to be a performance by the Vienna Boys Choir." —Jay Leno
Link: http://politicalhumor.about.com/library ... riests.htm

Its over and out from me on this topic.

Dubai Knight wrote:No Easter Bunny for you misery guts out there!

Easter Bunny sml.jpg

The Hounds of the Baskervillas strike again!



Knight

I can see this situation calls for reinforcements! Cue Killer Bunny

zonker wrote:@ BM, so its not just the Muslims who have a sense of humour failure! As is so well demonstrated by Misery Boy here.

Lacking basic decency and being crass isn't really called a sense of humor. If your humor has be crass and cheap let the joke be on you! And then we'll all laugh

Go seek helper Zonker. In your haste to be accepted (of all places on a bloody internet forum ) you seem to making quite a few faux-pas along the way. And that's the real joke here.

-- Mon Apr 25, 2011 7:46 am --

Bethsmum wrote:

Misery Called Life wrote:^^^ It's a joke when it's meant to be funny. That didn't sound like a joke BM, seemed more like a cheap low blow said out of spite (his subsequent replies have made that amply clear). It was meant to give offense BM and I pointed that out. It's not like I care a damn bout Catholic jokes, but the intention has to be taken into consideration right?

Aww MCL, I'm sorry you've taken it so badly. I know Zonker wouldn't have meant to cause so much offense. He really isn't like that. I know 100% that he wouldn't have meant to offend anyone. It started as a joke and it's gone down hill.

Again I haven't taken it badly BM...I'm just calling out the hypocrite. Do you see him joking/ mocking the religion he follows? let's see how that goes. Tell him to post a few lewd jokes about his own religious beliefs, in good faith(humour) off-course. And then we'll definitely call it even.

Misery Called Life wrote: PS everytime I call you Zonky Boy I hope you do not get turned on.

He-he. Freudian slip. I don't know about Zonk but calling BM habibi is a little bit weird I must say. I don't blame the Catholic school but rather your pure male enviroment.

Student, you are too young to think the only about God. You know those sad stories with Catholic priests recently.

Red Chief wrote:He-he. Freudian slip. I don't know about Zonk but calling BM habibi is a little bit weird I must say. I don't blame the Catholic school but rather your pure male enviroment.

Well I say! How very dare you RC?

Red Chief wrote:

Misery Called Life wrote: PS everytime I call you Zonky Boy I hope you do not get turned on.

He-he. Freudian slip. I don't know about Zonk but calling BM habibi is a little bit weird I must say. I don't blame the Catholic school but rather your pure male enviroment.

Student, you are too young to think the only about God. You know those sad stories with Catholic priests recently.

Geez RC since when did you become a pedantic...that too with Arabic? Anyways I was not aware of the precise grammatical lingo (habibti/habibati?). But your analogy of attaching a simple grammatical flaw to criticize an entire educational system seems a bit naive. Now you might have issues with the Catholic Church and by all means go ahead, start a thread and bash them all you want..... it would be completely irrelevant to me.
But on this thread which I thought was meant to spread a bit of good cheer, why would someone want to throw sucker punches? I guess that's good humor eh?

This debate is not about religion (cos I'm not religious), but about simple ethics.

I didn't go to an Easter ball and start debating semantics. We got drunk, ate a bit too much chocolate and generally had a good time and that was what I thought was good fun.

Misery Called Life wrote: Geez RC since when did you become a pedantic...that too with Arabic?

I have to admit that it was too little for the post but your reaction in Islam 24/7 style had been a little bit funny. I could not resist.

BM, The student got it right. There was no offence to you, habibti, if I am allowed to call you like this.

You can call me anything you want RC,

Bethsmum wrote:You can call me anything you want RC,

Be careful BM, he has the ability to be very expressive!!! I know from past experience.

Red Chief wrote:Student, you are too young to think the only about God. You know those sad stories with Catholic priests recently.

Hey chief, MCL is not student anymore!

@Zonker: Why don't you just apologize?