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Well today, being the start of the new financial year, has been dubbed Worse Off Wednesday, when, despite a tax break of a whole £200 for the year, millions are doomed to be worse off in Britain. And what's really rubbed salt in the wound is that Dave is in Pakistan and very kindly announced another £600m in foreign aid for their schools. Now when we've just mouthballed the Arc Royal and Pakistan is investing in Subs and planes, it makes you wonder who is the daftest!

Anyways, my question relates to a conversation I had with my eldest daughter, on the phone, last night. I decided to dish out some motherly advice which I'm not normally known for. I'm not the maternal type.
My daughter was upstairs in their house while my son in law (let's call him Si, mainly because his name is Simon) was downstairs watching Spurs getting hammered. It wouldn't have bothered him that much, the match that is, because he's a City fan.
My daughter is the pushy type, which she admits. She has a very good job and earns more than Si.
Si is very laid back, a really nice lad. She has pushed him in his career as an engineer till at the age of 30 he is a Manager at his place of work. You know what they say 'Behind a good man, there's always a good woman'

The only draw back is that he hates his job with a passion. He has given himself 6 months in his new position, but isn't any happier at all, in fact, he's utterly miserable. He misses the 'shop floor' and the hands on approach and can't abide going to work in a shirt and tie and working with spreadsheets and the like all day.
Well my daughter announced that Si has a job interview on Friday at somewhere new. 'Doing what?' asks BM.
'Team Leader and a £7k wage drop' replies BM's eldest, obviously not amused! She was obviously majorly p'd off with him.

'Look' says BM, 'what would you rather have, Si, happy with less money or Si, a miserable get?'
It took a little bit of more persuasion from me to get her to realise money isn't everything and that in the long run, Si, with a face liked a smacked arse constantly, wouldn't do a right lot for their relationship.
At this point BM was on a roll and also pointed out that not everybody was built for managerial positions.
I ended the conversation, not entirely convinced that I'd convinced her.
I am definately getting soft as once over I would have told her to tell him to get a grip. I have to say I do have sympathy with her plight, she is her mother's daughter, but I didn't let her know that.

So....would you take a pay cut for the sake of your happiness, or would you stick it out for the money?

I just did! In last 11 months I changed 3 companies, first and second were international and I had to leave. Because of sanctions they ceased their operation in Iran. Third was a very large Iranian company with good business and high pay, but I always like to have more opportunities for growth, so when I get this offer from another international firm which surprisingly still active in Iran, I accepted it. Even with lower pay!

The package I get from my job is not just salary, but learning, friendly and supportive colleagues, growth, positive environment, and respect. So considering all these factors I decided to join them, with a pay cut!

I work for myself.

What is 'pay'?



Knight

In your daughter/son-in-law's case I would say "happiness" since they can afford to (wife makes more money). If the money was needed then he can wait a little for "happiness" and stick it out...

BM, thats the age old question, does money buy happiness? Philosophers of antiquity debated what constitutes a "good human life", inconclusively. When can you say about someone's life: This was a Good Life.
Happiness comes from fulfillment. Different people feel fulfilled by different things, and at different stages in their life these things vary. Sometimes its the money that is important.
Some people, sadly, are born to be miserable.
To cut all the crap out the bottom line is: what would you rather be, miserable and poor, or miserable and rich?
Coming to the case of Si, 10K sterling is not a big deal. He should go where he is happy!

Source - http://www.statistics.gov.uk/cci/nugget.asp?id=192

Well it seems its going to be some time before things get back to normal in the UK , if that, until then those austerity measure protests are going to get even more violent, Lets see how the people of the uk react to the royal wedding

Paycuts are going to be pretty much the slogan of every private firm in the uk for quite some time

zubber wrote:
Source - http://www.statistics.gov.uk/cci/nugget.asp?id=192

Well it seems its going to be some time before things get back to normal in the UK , if that, until then those austerity measure protests are going to get even more violent, Lets see how the people of the uk react to the royal wedding

Paycuts are going to be pretty much the slogan of every private firm in the uk for quite some time

This topic is not about pay cuts in firms Zubber, it's whether you would take a pay cut for happiness sake.

I wish you would stick to what you know Zubber (breasts) because it's not the people protesting about cuts that are being violent, they are peaceful protesters. It's the hooligan element. Please don't judge us all by the minority. Have you ever been to the UK?
As for the Royal Wedding, it's only the minority who will protest this too. It is a big winner for the UK in tourist income.
I'm not a Royalist, it's just two people's wedding and I hope it's not ruined for them.

-- Wed Apr 06, 2011 8:02 pm --

Ambassador wrote:In your daughter/son-in-law's case I would say "happiness" since they can afford to (wife makes more money). If the money was needed then he can wait a little for "happiness" and stick it out...

You are right Ambassador but don't we all live up to our means? They can afford it, but are used to the income they have, I think that's the sore point.

-- Wed Apr 06, 2011 8:15 pm --

zonker wrote:BM, thats the age old question, does money buy happiness? Philosophers of antiquity debated what constitutes a "good human life", inconclusively. When can you say about someone's life: This was a Good Life.
Happiness comes from fulfillment. Different people feel fulfilled by different things, and at different stages in their life these things vary. Sometimes its the money that is important.
Some people, sadly, are born to be miserable.
To cut all the crap out the bottom line is: what would you rather be, miserable and poor, or miserable and rich?
Coming to the case of Si, 10K sterling is not a big deal. He should go where he is happy!

I'm sure he will Zonker, and I'm sure my daughter will be right behind him if she's got any sense. And if she's listened to anything I've taught her, she will be straight down to the bank to cancel his Golf Club subscription.

let me start with this "money would make your sadness happier " ...
but definitely I would accept happiness with less money over sadness with more money as long as this amount of money is enough to pay the bills...

I personally believe work is more than 60% of men's life, and a bad mood at work can easily bring boring life at home, but if the house budget is going to get affected by a lower wage, then a man has to be a man and take responsibility until he finds something with higher wage...

Mahmoud04 wrote:let me start with this "money would make your sadness happier " ...
but definitely I would accept happiness with less money over sadness with more money as long as this amount of money is enough to pay the bills...

I personally believe work is more than 60% of men's life, and a bad mood at work can easily bring boring life at home, but if the house budget is going to get affected by a lower wage, then a man has to be a man and take responsibility until he finds something with higher wage...

Mahmoud! Good evening! When you say man do you mean man? What about work being 60% of a woman's life also? It's 50/50 set up in my daughters home Mahmoud. She has as much responsibility as him.

good evening BM, wish all is good...
well, I am wondering if this is the only part that got ur interest in my post?
are you talking about Si or about your daughter? coz if you are talking about your daughter I would have said woman...
Plus I am a man thats why I said """"""PERSONALLY""""""
I don't believe you left the whole subject and only wanted to add that your daughter has as much responsibility as him...

On reconsideration, most engineers are gits - based on those I've come across (or from people whose spouse or parent is an engineer). So take the money.

Never, not by choice, the circumstances you have detailed display a lack of ambition, he can stay ‘Hands-On’ in his workshop building things in his spare time after a serious day’s work, it is a luxury few people can afford and I believe will be the focus in every future financial discussion between your Daughter and her husband. If she’s not happy with his decision now, she will be even less happy while making future budget decisions.

Life is like a $hit sandwich. The more bread you have, the less $hit you have to eat!

Dillon wrote:Never, not by choice, the circumstances you have detailed display a lack of ambition, he can stay ‘Hands-On’ in his workshop building things in his spare time after a serious day’s work, it is a luxury few people can afford and I believe will be the focus in every future financial discussion between your Daughter and her husband. If she’s not happy with his decision now, she will be even less happy while making future budget decisions.

Life is like a $hit sandwich. The more bread you have, the less $hit you have to eat!

Dillon, I have relayed your advice to my daughter. She said, yes, but not everybody's the same. Si is not like her, not everybody is ambitious, he's a lovely lad and she loves him just the way he is. He is very good to her.

She also said she was talking the situation over with her boss, Steve. Now Steve is as gay as they come. She has described to me in the past how promiscious Steve is. (That's not relevant, but I know you how you feel about the gay population LOL). When she went over the Si/job situation, Steve's reaction was 'f*ching hell (BM's daughter) BM (me) will be saying 'get rid of him, move on!'
My reputation has reached Manchester

Well BM, if your daughter fully supports her husband’s career decisions, that’s all that really matters! and in the words of JJ Cale and music of Eric Clapton, ‘Who am I telling you?’

As for Steve’s reaction? Take no notice as typically, he/she put his/her mouth into gear before engaging his/her brain.

Dillon wrote:Well BM, if your daughter fully supports her husband’s career decisions, that’s all that really matters! and in the words of JJ Cale and music of Eric Clapton, ‘Who am I telling you?’

As for Steve’s reaction? Take no notice as typically, he/she put his/her mouth into gear before engaging his/her brain.

I call it progress that you didn't refer to Steve as 'IT'

Bethsmum wrote:I call it progress that you didn't refer to Steve as 'IT'

Progress? Naaah, I’m just being polite and respectful!