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A couple of things have got me thinking. There was Sym's trip to the hospital for his check up and a programme I watched last night.

I was lying in bed last night doing a bit of channel hopping (slow night!) and came across a programme called Bizarre ER.

Interesting, thinks BM, and I put my remote down to watch the end 10 minutes. Two doctors were recalling incidents from the ER, I call it the ER, they were both English actually so I should call it A&E.

The first doctor recalled how he had to do a rectal examination. He had a perspex tube which he had to insert up a male patients bottom and then remove the inside of the tube so that he could examine him internally. Well when he finally got a look up all he could see was some psychedelic pattern. It took him a couple of minutes to realise he'd inserted his tie with the tube.

The second doctor told how he'd had to deal with an elderly male patient who had come in with a combination padlock around the base of his penis. (I sat up and took notice at this point). Apparantly he was using it in place of a penis ring, which BM has to admit she has only seen in use in the Reeperbahn in Hamburg. He must have been short of said ring at a crucial moment and grabbed the padlock. He'd had to come to the A&E, as being an elderly gent, he'd forgotten the combination. The doctor described his kn0b (the doctor's words, not BM's) as being 3 times it's normal size, and blue. The padlock was removed with a hack saw.

So I was wondering, has anyone had a medical emergency and how were you treated by the hospital? Not medically treated, but if you want to share, that's great. I'm always up for a tale.

I've had a couple of do's with my family over the years. The first one that springs to mind was in Germany when my eldest daughter was then 5 years old. Her dad was away on excercise, or manouvers for the Americanised amongst us. She complained of a sore leg which she seemed to be having difficulty moving so I took her to see the army doctor. He dismissed us telling me to rub some Algipan on it and make her walk on it. I carried her back to the car, dragging my other 4 year old daughter along behind us.
I took his advice and rubbed Algipan on it all night. After a sleepless night with two young kids, no husband, and not being much more than a kid myself, I decided to brave the Med Centre and take her back. We saw another doctor. This child is seriously ill, I was told, she needs to go to hospital. We don't have an ambulance, you'll have to take her yourself. BM sets off to the hospital after dropping the 4 year old off with a friend. The Military hospital was 2 hours drive from where we lived. I remember getting stopped twice that day by the German Police for speeding. We made it to the hospital 300 marks in speeding fines, poorer. Child was admitted and was diagnosed with septic arthritis. I stayed in the hospital with her for 3 weeks and even then the army would not let my husband come home. They didn't even pass the message on to him that his daughter was ill.

My second do was with my middle daughter , who was 20 and not living at home at the time. She was taken to the Royal London Hospital by her boyfriend, having not been well at all. She was sent home with a chest infection. When her boyfriend couldn't wake her the next day he rushed her back and she had a severe brain infection. The doctors at that hospital were fantastic but the nursing staff (who were mostly immigrants) were rubbish. When my daughter came out of Intensive Care (fantastic treatment) she went onto a general ward, the care was so poor I kicked off big style and in the end had a meeting with Head of Nursing who allocated a nurse on a one to one basis for her. Avoid the Royal London Hospital at all costs.

Luckily Beth is the picture of health.

^^BM, interesting and funny!!
I was told this story once, and assured of it being 100% true. A guy was having some beers and a laugh with his friends in the bar, and feeling the need to spend a penny, rushed into the loo. He was in as much of a rush to come out so as not to miss any of the fun. But fate had something else in store for him. As he tries to zip up his fly with the speed of light, his foreskin got trapped in the nasty little teeth of the zipper! Aaaarrgh!
Of course, non of his buddies in the bar could help him. They were all drunk anyway.
The ambulance was called, and he landed in the ER.
He was rushed to the OR for emergency surgery that same night!
And the moral of this tale......?

zonker wrote:^^BM, interesting and funny!!
I was told this story once, and assured of it being 100% true. A guy was having some beers and a laugh with his friends in the bar, and feeling the need to spend a penny, rushed into the loo. He was in as much of a rush to come out so as not to miss any of the fun. But fate had something else in store for him. As he tries to zip up his fly with the speed of light, his foreskin got trapped in the nasty little teeth of the zipper! Aaaarrgh!
Of course, non of his buddies in the bar could help him. They were all drunk anyway.
The ambulance was called, and he landed in the ER.
He was rushed to the OR for emergency surgery that same night!
And the moral of this tale......?

Well Zonker, I guess that's happened at least once, to every Christian Male on the planet! it's hopping painful at the time of entrapment, but the overriding fear is the more painful operation of freeing our most valuable of personal assets

The moral? why do you think button flies are so popular?

A few years ago I had my only emergency. My stomach bothered me and was vomitting for days. This was pretty much in the middle of nowhere. I was getting dyhidrated as I couldnot hold any fluid inside. Finally in the middle of the night I went to first aid. Waiting room was full with stinking people and their sheep were outside. When it was my turn the doctor said that I was in criticial condition. I had to drop my pants and he was preparing a shot in the butt. I saw the needle and it was amazingly large. The shot helped and was OK in a few houres.

A year ago I discovered first aid emergency also has a different meaning. I went with a friend to a party and I was the designated driver, so no drinking. My friend met a woman and he asked whether we could give her a ride back home. It was a detour and didn't really feel like it, but couldnot leave her in the middle of the night there, so I agreed. She was lying in the back and saw she getting all white and her eyes were looking weird. I asked whether she had been using. Yes she did. She was not well at all and I asked whether we should go the hospital. She said no, instead she insisted I call from her mobile the number listed under 'first aid emergency'. Thought this was weird, but somehow I did. I got some guy on the line and he said that I can meet him in half hour on a certain parking lot. I immediately realized this was a dealer. I went with the original plan and dropped her off at first aid of a hospital. Never heard how it ended and not interested.

Thanks for the laugh FFD. But what happened to your friend?

I had one experience years ago, which was an "emergency". My daughter had surgery on both her ankles due to some kind of extra bone. Doctor asked if she wanted them done one at a time or both, both being difficult for her. Her, the trooper that she is, said both because she didn't want to have to go through it twice.

Surgery done. I had decided to pop in on her after visiting hours and found her in terrible pain. She told me she asked the nurse for painkillers and was given 2 aspirins. Now, she and I have to be in real pain to ask for painkillers because we have a high threshold for pain (to the point we enjoy it? and then it gets intolerable? So we reach our highest level and then seek relief. She was also told to keep quite because she was disturbing other people. Other people, I gathered were the nurses, who weren't at the nurses station? I went about calling for a nurse and one appeared. I told her my daughter was in extreme pain and needed painkillers.

Nurse: Well the doctor is not here and there is nothing on her chart saying she could have any.
Me: Well get the doctor on the phone and have him prescribe something. And please don't tell my daughter to keep it down when she's in pain.
Nurse: I can't disturb the doctor.
Me: Fine, get another doctor.
Nurse: The doctor that treated her can only prescribe a painkiller.
Me: Fine, get the doctor on the phone.
Nurse: I can't disturb him after hours.
Me: Fine, get the damn administrator on the phone so I can report the doctor and the nurses.
Nurse: I'll get the doctor on the phone.

Nurse gets the doctor on the phone, tells him the situation, and then tells me the doctor wants to speak to me.

Doctor: Why are you having them call me? I'm at a party!!!
Me: Sorry to disturb you at a party, but my daughter is in extreme pain.
Doctor: Well, I'm at a party.
Me: I don't care where you are. You are her doctor, she's in pain and I want it taken care of.
Doctor: Give me back to the nurse.

Me to Nurse: I'll be in touch with the Administrator tomorrow and let him know that the nurses station was unattended when I got here, daughter was told to pipe down, and no effort was made to make her comfortable.

Painkillers issued and daughter was treated with the care a patient should be treated with.

For the balance of her stay, nurses were constantly asking her if she was comfortable. And that was without me calling the Administrator.

Lesson: If you want something that is your right, take a stand, make noise, make threats and eventually they will see their way to accommodate you.

Bora Bora wrote: make noise, make threats

Seems to be your modus operandi from day one.

desertdudeshj wrote:

Bora Bora wrote: make noise, make threats

Seems to be your modus operandi from day one.

Unfortunately if hasn't been very effective. You keep showing up, inspite of the fact that you know you are unwanted by the majority. Here you are looking to stir things up. Now, that's your modus operandi!!!

desertdudeshj wrote:

Bora Bora wrote: make noise, make threats

Seems to be your modus operandi from day one.

Munchkin! You aren't making any friends at the moment are you?
Why do you bother popping in with your usual negativity? If you've got something constructive to say then I'd love to hear it. I don't want you to disappear for good.
Why don't you try to turn it round DDS? If I can, you can too.

I slipped on a patch of ice and landed on my head (like some kind of movie). Was taken to emergency room on ambulance...Cat Scan said no brain damage (I'm told I was probably misdiagnosed ). Luckily had clean underwear!

Yes I have.

Far, far too many!

15 years old, playing rugby for my local town club and ended up under a pile of bodies. At some point in the melee, I felt a sharp blow to the face and saw stars. My whole face felt numb and tingled but this was quite a common feeling when playing a full contact sport and, once the pile of bodies cleared and I tried to get up, the entire planet shifted under my feet and I had to sit down. The ref came over and asked if I was ok and the trainer administered the magic cold sponge and everything seemed to come back into focus so I carried on playing. If I recall correctly, we won the match.

By the end of the game the bridge of my nose had somewhat swollen and my eyes started to close up. My mum took me to the emergency unit at the local cottage hospital and we sat there for hours waiting to be seen by a doctor. It started to ache a bit, but nothing too bad. By the time he arrived, I could not see as my eyes and nose had swollen up so much. Whipped into the x-ray unit and the results showed I had a very broken nose and the right lower eye orbit was cracked.

The doctor was pretty laid back and decided the best thing was to re-align the bones in the nose as soon as possible and proceeded to put his thumbs either side of it and pushed everything back where it should be. Now THAT hurt! It took a week for the swelling to start going down and it all went some very pretty colours, leaving me with two very shiny black eyes for several weeks. I was back playing within 2 weeks and subsequently found out who had kicked me in the ruck.

My revenge was planned and very sweet.



Knight

I once attempted to knock down Blackpool’s North Pier with a head butt when I was 9-10 Years old! I came off the worst I hasten to add!

It was while playing football on the beach during a family holiday when the wind suddenly took the football and blew it down the beach from where we were playing towards the North Pier, I took off at full speed in an attempt to retrieve the ball. I remember Father shouting something in the distance and I thought he was encouraging me to run faster, which as a dutiful son I did! I found out later he was shouting ‘watch the pier’ I recall other people shouting at me too but I had no idea why or what they were shouting because I was on a mission, focused and running as fast as my little legs would carry me, I could only see the football running away from me. Then BANG, I got to the Pier before I got to the football. My forehead struck an old and very rusty cross member, I was pole axed by the Pier, my head apparently bounced off as fast as it hit the Pier then the rest of my body followed, bounced around on the hard wet sand a little before coming to rest in an unconscious heap.

I came to, in an ambulance on my way with Father to the Hospital, dazed and confused, an Ex Ray revealed hairline cracks but nothing to worry about, and after an overnight stay diagnosed with mild concussion, I was released to finish my holiday with a few stitches a bruised head and a very, very bruised ego.

^^OUCH Dillon! So do you have one of those scars like Harry Potter on your forehead?

Poor Dillon! But it explains a lot

melika969 wrote:^^OUCH Dillon! So do you have one of those scars like Harry Potter on your forehead?

Well I certainly have a scar and I had to look up Harry Potter’s scar and unfortunately mine doesn’t have any special powers like Harry’s

Bethsmum wrote:Poor Dillon! But it explains a lot