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Ooooh where should I start??
Avoid is my easiest! but I'll start at the beginning, a very good place to start, so I'm led to believe.

Apologies in advance to Ambassador! I'm still not sure so I've left you off the list. I remember once volunteering to rub goose greese in your chest during a spout of swine flue, it has made me slightly nauseous ever since someone pointed out that you are a woman! I'm happy in my ignorance!

Shag? Well this is easy as i'm a love 'em and leave 'em kind of girl. I've heard tell it's anything with a pulse, but I beg to differ!
It's got to be ben, i just love that accent, it makes my toes curl in the sand!
Zonker, he's fun! A couple of drinks and who knows!
Drew, he's dangerous! I love a dangerous man.

Marry? oh it has to be Dillon! My hero!
and Tom, a true gentleman, someone to cuddle up to on the shag pile!
and Herve! a spy! how exciting is that? mmmmm and that accent, mmmmmm
Joe! a generous loving type! (who would buy you a Bentley )
MCL, a sensative man! how nice is that?

Avoid? Yuk, it has to be the resident mooooslims! Not that this is the only reason you understand! They just don't meet the man criteria in my book, I like my men with a couple, these two seem to be missing some.
Shafique and Desertdimwitshj. LOL

-- Wed Feb 09, 2011 1:24 am --

Oh just a negative thought! the Reverend Mother may come on frowning at my lustin! But wait! I'm on her and the Karate Kids foe list so with any luck they won't be able to see my posts so all will be well in 'butter wouldn't melt between my legs land' or will it???:? LOOOL

On second thoughts, let it roll. You want to instigate more mudfests by all means. Lets not have any complains and PM's by anyone later then that they are getting tired of all this "bickering" DF is getting driven into the ground and/or people need to take a chill pill blah blah blah.

This should be fun

RELEASE THE KRAKEN !

P.S : Sage do us all a favour and NOT send this to Fight Club, so every one can get maximum viewing pleasure out of this one for a change

At least you don't have any performance expectations to live up to DDS.
I have to try and be like Shane Warne... who had Liz Hurley banging on his door within an hour of her landing in Sydney airport yesterday.
Got any more of those chill pills left?

You can do magic
you took the raindrops that filled my eyes
and put them back up in the skies
and then made the gray skies turn blue
you can do magic
you took the heart that was broken in two
and you put it back together, know how to keep it beating
i beg you not to stop and pray you keep repeating your magic magic
you can do magic baby
you can do magic magic

DDS Is there no ends to your talents? One minute it's there, then it's gone and now it's back! Wow, at this rate you will be moved up my list!
Look munchkin, as your friend Shafique would say, lighten up, it's just a bit of fun! I'm sure neither you nor him minds being on the avoid list, although you do sound a bit sad to be so!
Everyone else i'm in for a group hug with so where's the opposition going to come from?
Chill!

-- Wed Feb 09, 2011 8:32 am --

benwj wrote:At least you don't have any performance expectations to live up to DDS.
I have to try and be like Shane Warne... who had Liz Hurley banging on his door within an hour of her landing in Sydney airport yesterday.
Got any more of those chill pills left?

No pressure ben.

BM, this is for you:

See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand!
O that I were a glove upon that hand,
that I might touch that cheek!"
- William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, 2.2

So, are you saying that you will never marry me??

@ BM, interesting post.... You lost me on the "Karate Kids" reference

zonker wrote:BM, this is for you:

See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand!
O that I were a glove upon that hand,
that I might touch that cheek!"
- William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, 2.2

So, are you saying that you will never marry me??

Do you know Zonker, once over BM would never say never, but in the last few months I've had cause to think to myself on two occasions 'not even for a million quid would BM go down that route!'
Of course those thoughts were never directed at you!
BM is open to suggestions Zonker, what can you bring to the party?

-- Wed Feb 09, 2011 12:39 pm --

Ambassador wrote:

@ BM, interesting post.... You lost me on the "Karate Kids" reference

Why Ambassador, you must have been on one of your jaunts when the resident expert on all matters sporty threatened to kick BM's bottom! She was going to achieve this without BM knowing what had hit her! I did tell her she had a big enought target

Bethsmum wrote:

Ambassador wrote:

@ BM, interesting post.... You lost me on the "Karate Kids" reference

Why Ambassador, you must have been on one of your jaunts when the resident expert on all matters sporty threatened to kick BM's bottom! She was going to achieve this without BM knowing what had hit her! I did tell she she had a big enought target

Ok, now I know exactly who you mean - without having to read any other post

And a Happy Valentines day to you too BM

Not sure if I like the company though,you know, they say; three's a crowd!

Misery Called Life wrote:And a Happy Valentines day to you too BM

Not sure if I like the company though,you know, they say; three's a crowd!

Thank you MCL, Happy Valentines Day

Don't worry about the crowd! BM is known for her ability to multi task

oi...am i black ?

Oh my little Irish friend! Sorry I missed you off my list! You know you're on BM's shag list, most definitely. As we have discussed, you aren't rich enough to marry

gezza wrote:oi...am i black ?

Good grief!

A blast from the past!

Hope all is well at the Gezza end?

-- Wed Feb 16, 2011 2:40 pm --

zonker wrote:BM, this is for you:

See, how she leans her cheeks upon her hand!
O I wished I used my other hand,
that I might touch her little lamb!"
Or is it me just on the rand?
- Drew Peacock, Romeo and Juliet, 2011

^^Mr.Peacock (no shame in being gay, what?), took you a long time to come up with this nonsense.............

Zunker, This is what you call nonsense.

Well, I dreamt of my dead grand-mother, and that I was a kid again! In the morning, wifey was cross cause I was sucking on a dummy, "You've been acting childish all morning," she said. Pick out the 'something nice' there!

zonker wrote:^^Mr.Peacock (no shame in being gay, what?), took you a long time to come up with this nonsense.............

ZonKer! Take no notice of Drew! He will be logging in to DF from his Ipad while propping some bar up under the influence of Bombay Sapphire. I can guarantee he isn't gay

Drew! stop it right this minute!! BM quite likes being serenaded with jaz and William S.!

BM has become used to 'Do you think I'm Sexy?' and a slap on the arse! I quite like the 'up market' approach! (and that wasn't from Rod Stewart).

BM, with a name like Peacock, its difficult not to take notice. Definitely gay, or a closet gay, with all those multi-colored feathers sticking out of his backside.....

-- Thu Feb 17, 2011 7:21 am --

...but I shall do my best ......

zonker wrote:BM, with a name like Peacock, its difficult not to take notice. Definitely gay, or a closet gay, with all those multi-colored feathers sticking out of his backside.....

-- Thu Feb 17, 2011 7:21 am --

...but I shall do my best ......

Although Zonker you are up posting at 7.21 this morning, obviously down to the school holiday, I am impressed by your grammar and spelling at this time of the day.

Keep up the good work, where I am sure the other girls in your class must be impressed.

Oh, only one point, Capital in "But" followed by an exclamation mark would have given you 100%.

^^Miss Spellcheckgirl......that gives me a nice warm feeling. Yes, I admit I was trying to impress the girls in class.
And not the GAYS.
And I shall remember what you told me: Butt! Hope I got it right this time!
Always aspiring to give 100%.
Yours truly,
zonker.

You most certainly have an affixation with gays as this has been used in several previous posts.

Come out the closet girl, there is no shame in declaring you are a dyke.

Oh, and ony one "T" in "but" unless its an @rse.

Also, replace the "Z" with a "PL" in your name for aptness.

spellcheckergirl wrote:You most certainly have an affixation with gays as this has been used in several previous posts.

Come out the closet girl, there is no shame in declaring you are a dyke.

Oh, and ony one "T" in "but" unless its an @rse.

Also, replace the "Z" with a "PL" in your name for aptness.

SCG! Please leave my friend Zonker alone. He has passed BM's shagability test, I'm not bothered about spelling.

spellcheckergirl wrote:You most certainly have an affixation with gays as this has been used in several previous posts.

Come out the closet girl, there is no shame in declaring you are a dyke.

Oh, and ony one "T" in "but" unless its an @rse.

Also, replace the "Z" with a "PL" in your name for aptness.

"Affixation" ......poor choice of the word. Your poor education is beginning to show through the cracks in your facade. You have other spelling mistakes there.
As for replacing the Z, no way......go elsewhere, I am not a Plonker.
BTW, the Butt I was talking about has two T's in it.
On the whole, a big FAIL for you, I fear.
I was not really impressed with this exchange, so I shall not bother with you any further....good day....

Goodness gracious me!

Spell checker has a huge point Zanker.

One would need an Egyptologist to translate what you just wrote

^^You dont need an Egyptologist; there are no heiroglyphs there; all that I am saying in plain English is a Peacock stands for gay.
As for fixation with gays, I avoid them.
Hope that is clear enough.

Yes an Egyptologist is required.

And I agree with SCG, you have an over indulgence with the word Gay.

Look up the specialist books on the subject of anti gay attitude and you will find that it is you inner self admitting that you have this potential to be an absolute shirt tail lifter.

^^I have looked up specialist books. Most Brit men are gay anyway, from the whitest of the white aristocracy to the dregs of the clueless underclasses; and when one of them likes to call himself "peacock", I cant help thinking about you, as you put it, as a shirt tail lifter! i.e your own.

As for the self professed spellcheckgirl, the less said about her the better. She is not very evolved; her posts are full of spelling and grammatical errors, so she is not what she professes to be anyway. You may agree with her at your own peril.

Sorry BM, my last post on this subject.....

Oh Oh, another well balanced subcontinental with a chip on each shoulder.

Or

A wanna bee Brit?

Back to your AED 4000 a month pay sonny

What's up with you two???

I thought it was just the women who suffered from PMT?

Drew! Zonker isn't what you have described, I think you are getting mixed up with desertdimwit! It must be the gin

Zonker lives in Canada!

Why is it all my topics land in FC? I can see this heading there shortly and then we'll have Kanelli joining in f'in and blinding

LOL - BM let's get this straight about your views about zonker's race/nationality/skin colour. I'm impressed he's passed your 'shagability test' too

Bethsmum wrote:SCG! Please leave my friend Zonker alone. He has passed BM's shagability test, ..

You think he is an ok guy and are defending him. You are disputing with mr 'allegedly gay' that zonker is a 'wannabe Brit' or is 'sub-continental'. Your argument is that zonker is in Canada?

Hmm.

If so, I think you're in for a surprise.

(It won't be the first time you've got issues ar$e about face - but this one is quite funny given your hatred of Pakistanis in general and Pakistani immigrants to the UK in particular.)

Cheers,
Shafique

shafique wrote:LOL - BM let's get this straight about your views about zonker's race/nationality/skin colour. I'm impressed he's passed your 'shagability test' too

Bethsmum wrote:SCG! Please leave my friend Zonker alone. He has passed BM's shagability test, ..

You think he is an ok guy and are defending him. You are disputing with mr 'allegedly gay' that zonker is a 'wannabe Brit' or is 'sub-continental'. Your argument is that zonker is in Canada?

Hmm.

If so, I think you're in for a surprise.

(It won't be the first time you've got issues ar$e about face - but this one is quite funny given your hatred of Pakistanis in general and Pakistani immigrants to the UK in particular.)

Cheers,
Shafique

What are you doing on BM's shag topic Shafique? Does your wife know?

Smug is a very unattractive feature in a man, you really could do with addressing that if you want to be promoted from the 'avoid' list.

Now let me answer your post, I do plain speaking so let's hope you are able to grasp it. I often play pass the parcel with your posts as they have so much wrapping on them!

Yes I do think Zonker is 'an ok guy'. That's obviously a problem for you.

I'm not in dispute with Drew. Drew is BM's friend, and he isn't gay.

I wanted to clarify to Drew that Zonker wasn't in Dubai working on the wage that Drew mentioned as he lives in Canada. (still with me? I'm trying to keep it simple) I don't have an argument, just stating the facts.

What surprise am I in for?

What issues have I got ar$e about face?

What is quite funny?

BM has never stated that she hates Pakistanis. I don't hate anyone, well only my daughter's husband, and he happens to be Pakistani. I'm sure I've said that before. There must be an echo in here!
Me hating Pakistanis is a figment of your very narrow mind Shafique.
Yes I do have a problem with immigration to the UK, and not just with Pakistanis. If it had been up to me, you and your extended family wouldn't have got in either, but that's for another day.

BM is not as thick as you would like to believe Shafique!
Are you trying to surprise me by telling me that Zonker is a Pakistani? You'll have to get up a bit earlier if you want to catch BM out, Shaf! That's not news! LOL

The only surprise round here would be if you managed to grow a couple.

Cheers!
BM