The Virginity Industry

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The Virginity Industry Apr 27, 2010
This from the BBC

"Young Arab women wait in an upmarket medical clinic for an operation that will not only change their lives, but quite possibly save it. Yet the operation is a matter of choice and not necessity. It costs about 2,000 euros (£1,700) and carries very little risk.

The clinic is not in Dubai or Cairo, but in Paris. And the surgery they are waiting for is to restore their virginity.

Whether in Asia or the Arab world, an unknown number of women face an agonising problem having broken a deep taboo. They've had sex outside marriage and if found out, risk being ostracised by their communities, or even murdered.

Sonia says she considered suicide after her first sexual relationship
Now more and more of them are undergoing surgery to re-connect their hymens and hide any sign of past sexual activity. They want to ensure that blood is spilled on their wedding night sheets.
The social pressure is so great that some women have even taken their own lives.
Sonia wants to remain anonymous for fear of reprisal. She is a slender young brunette studying at art college in Paris.
Although born in France, Arab culture and traditions are central to Sonia's life. Life was strict growing up under the watchful eyes of a large traditional Arab family.
She eventually went to the Paris clinic of Dr Marc Abecassis to have surgery to restore her hymen. She says she will never reveal her secret to anyone, especially her husband to be.
"I consider this is my s.ex life and I don't have to tell anyone about it," she says. It's men that are obliging her to lie about it, she says.
Dr Abecassis performs a "hymenoplasty" as it's called, at least two to three times a week. Re-connecting the tissue of the hymen takes about 30 minutes under local anaesthetic.
He says the average age of the patient is about 25, and they come from all social backgrounds. Although the surgery is performed in clinics around the world, Dr Abecassis is one of the few Arab surgeons who talks openly about it. Some of the women come to him because they need virginity certificates in order to marry.
"She can be in danger because sometimes it's a matter of traditions and family," says Dr Abecassis. "I believe we as doctors have no right to decide for her or judge her."
With Chinese manufacturers leading the way, there are now non-surgical options on the market as well. One website sells artificial hymens for just £20 (23 euros). The Chinese hymen is made of elastic and filled with fake blood. Once inserted in the vagina, the woman can simulate virginity, the company claims.

'Caught out'
But this was not an option for Nada. As a young girl growing up in the Lebanese countryside she fell in love and lost her virginity. "I was scared my family would find out especially since they didn't approve of my relationship," she says. "I was terrified they might kill me."
After seven years in the relationship, her lover's family wanted him to marry someone else. Nada attempted suicide. "I got a bottle of Panadol and a bottle of household chemicals," she says. "I drank them and said, 'That's it'."
Nada is now 40, and found out about surgical hymen restoration just six years ago. She married and had two children. Her wedding night was a stressful ordeal. "I didn't sleep that night. I was crying," she says. "I was very scared but he didn't suspect anything."
It's a secret that Nada - which is not her real name - will carry to her grave. "I am ready to hide it until death," she says. "Only God will know about it."
But it's not only the older generation that subscribes to traditional views about s.ex before marriage, when it comes to choosing a wife.

Noor is a trendy professional who works in Damascus. He's fairly representative of young Syrian men in a secular society. But although Noor says he believes in equality for women, underneath the liberal facade lies a deep-rooted conservatism.
"I know girls who went through this restoration and they were caught out on their wedding night by their husbands," he says. "They realised they weren't virgins. Even if society accepts such a thing, I would still refuse to marry her."
Muslim clerics are quick to point out that the virginity issue is not about religion. "We should remember that when people wait for the virgin's blood to be spilled on the sheet, these are all cultural traditions," says Syrian cleric, Sheikh Mohamad Habash. "This is not related to Shariah law."
Christian communities in the Middle East are often just as firm in their belief that women should be virgins when they marry.
Arab writer and social commentator, Sana Al Khayat believes the whole issue has much to with the notion of "control".
"If she's a virgin, she doesn't have any way of comparing [her husband to other men]. If she's been with other men, then she has experience. Having experience makes women stronger."
It may be the 21st Century but the issue of virginity in Arab culture can still be a matter of life and death, especially for women like Sonia and Nada.
And while hymen repair may be a quick fix, it can't reconcile centuries of ingrained tradition with the attitudes of modern society."

It seems that double standards are at play here - its OK for the men to play around before marriage...but not the women. As the article says: "Having experience makes women stronger" So is this what the men are afraid of?

:shock: :shock: :shock:

Knight

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Re: The Virginity Industry Apr 27, 2010
Urgh once again things like this are so backward. I've said it before and I'll say it again, women can break their hymen at any time, especially if they're very sporty, it can have nothing to do with whether you've had s.e.x or not.
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Re: The Virginity Industry Apr 27, 2010
It seems that double standards are at play here - its OK for the men to play around before marriage...but not the women. As the article says: "Having experience makes women stronger" So is this what the men are afraid of?



Yes, Double standards it is, well I was talking about this with some of my friends (who were not familiar with this issue in Iran), they asked me if it is ok for guys to have sex before marriage, but it is not ok for girls, with whom guys having sex???

The answer is widows, prostitutes, married women or very few girls...

-- Tue Apr 27, 2010 10:05 am --

Chocoholic wrote: I've said it before and I'll say it again, women can break their hymen at any time, especially if they're very sporty, it can have nothing to do with whether you've had s.e.x or not.


True, but conservative people don't accept that!

Here, some families when their son wants to get married, they ask for virginity certificate for the girl which should be authorized by a doctor!
melika969
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Re: The Virginity Industry Apr 27, 2010
Clearly these people haven't been with an experienced woman before. If they did, they would demand that there brides to be atleast had a couple of boyfriends before they married :mrgreen:
desertdudeshj
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Re: The Virginity Industry Apr 27, 2010
desertdudeshj wrote:Clearly these people haven't been with an experienced woman before. If they did, they would demand that there brides to be atleast had a couple of boyfriends before they married :mrgreen:


Who says these women aren't experienced? Preparation H is a very popular product. :lol:
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Re: The Virginity Industry Apr 28, 2010
Bora Bora wrote:
desertdudeshj wrote:Clearly these people haven't been with an experienced woman before. If they did, they would demand that there brides to be atleast had a couple of boyfriends before they married :mrgreen:


Who says these women aren't experienced? Preparation H is a very popular product. :lol:


I had heard similar tails in this particular part of the world. Allegedly some local ladies are often to be thus pleased prior to marriage. Or am I just being 4nal?

:shock: :shock: :shock:

Knight

Back up!!! :lol:
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Re: The Virginity Industry May 07, 2010
Chocoholic wrote:Urgh once again things like this are so backward. I've said it before and I'll say it again, women can break their hymen at any time, especially if they're very sporty, it can have nothing to do with whether you've had s.e.x or not.



I read in the paper once about breaking of hymen after doing heavy exercises.
prettygal
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Re: The Virginity Industry May 07, 2010
prettygal wrote:
Chocoholic wrote:Urgh once again things like this are so backward. I've said it before and I'll say it again, women can break their hymen at any time, especially if they're very sporty, it can have nothing to do with whether you've had s.e.x or not.



I read in the paper once about breaking of hymen after doing heavy exercises.


Yes its quite common. Horse riding, gymnastics, anything that involves extreme physical activity can affect it.

:) :) :)

Knight
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Re: The Virginity Industry Jun 09, 2010
u get what u deserve, virgin or not virgin.
lion81
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Re: The Virginity Industry Jun 10, 2010
verginity here or in any Arab or muslim country is a sign of honor for the girl and her family .. in emirates society it is not accepted for a girl/boy to have a sexual relationship before mirrage ,,
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Re: The Virginity Industry Jun 12, 2010
Aleena wrote:verginity here or in any Arab or muslim country is a sign of honor for the girl and her family .. in emirates society it is not accepted for a girl/boy to have a sexual relationship before mirrage ,,


It may not be accepted, but accept that it happens. Quite a lot. Its just human nature.

:roll: :roll: :roll:

Knight
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Re: The Virginity Industry Sep 16, 2010
This practice is prevalent not just in the middle east but also the asian sub continent
newbie913
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Re: The Virginity Industry Sep 16, 2010
A word of advice newbie, before you start digging out even more threads from the grave. Just check the date the original post was made on. In this case April 27.

So let these threads RIP
desertdudeshj
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Re: The Virginity Industry Sep 16, 2010
You are right DD, but as it seems like the forum is out of new topics in romance maybe we should just discuss the old topics! :lol:
melika969
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Re: The Virginity Industry Oct 03, 2010
For some reason this topic reminds me of the song Rape Me- Nirvana!!
Unknown Devil
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Re: The Virginity Industry Oct 09, 2010
On the whole, is there a difference?
drewpeacock
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Re: The Virginity Industry Oct 09, 2010
drewpeacock wrote:On the whole, is there a difference?



LOL
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Re: The Virginity Industry Oct 09, 2010
Bethsmum wrote:
drewpeacock wrote:On the whole, is there a difference?



LOL


I remember the days.
drewpeacock
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Re: The Virginity Industry Oct 09, 2010
I don't remember where I lost mine.

But I still have the box it came in!

8) 8) 8)

Knight
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Re: The Virginity Industry Oct 09, 2010
Dubai Knight wrote:I don't remember where I lost mine.

But I still have the box it came in!

8) 8) 8)

Knight


LOL
drewpeacock
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Re: The Virginity Industry Feb 07, 2011
Make wedding day extra special with designs that is perfect for 25th anniversary invitation . Mark Art Printing also accept customized designs. Check out their invitation designs from simple to elegant ones.
mimiyu
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Re: The Virginity Industry Feb 07, 2011
Lol.. so shes scared if they would kill her??(if they found out), i really think they did find out about it in BBC
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