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Now this lady here has won my respect. Perhaps what she has done should be a done by all parents alteast once ever month --

NEW YORK – Susan Maushart lived out every parent's fantasy: She unplugged her teenagers

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110118/ap_ ... BwZW5zdw--

All this technology is really unnecessary, Gone are the days when two good friends would sit and have a great time reconnecting over a cup of whatever. *sigh*

The avalanche of everyone “having to be plugged” is now too enormous to try to halt or reverse!!

It’s our new realty. We just have to adopt to it sensibly.

Rejection is not an option!

^^ Agreed, but the article suggests it can be done, perhaps that should be taken into consideration, and do away with unnecessary tech

I keep thinking of how to deal with this with my kids as they get older... I really don't want them living only behind a screen for entertainment, school, socializing etc.

kanelli wrote:I keep thinking of how to deal with this with my kids as they get older... I really don't want them living only behind a screen for entertainment, school, socializing etc.

Kanelli I have small cousin sisters, And I can already see signs of them getting addicted to tech, What I do is I sit down and make it a point to explain why its no good, I encourage them to meet their friends in person rather than on facebook and orkut, You would also be alarmed to know , many parents nowadays are creating facebook profiles for their kids, and then encourage the kids to actually hang out on FB , with them, complete madness if you ask me !

Those would be the helicopter parents I assume, who buzz around their children 24/7. This probably makes it eaiser for them to do so.

I think what makes kids go so highteck, pc/net addict is boredom at home actually (busy parents?). To me helicopter parents are those that only do nagging rather than acting and initiating social union with friends, neigbours, relatives etc..There are so many outdoor activities, sports, play groups, sighseeing, cultural tours, ngos etc, that more than one mum and school teachers can get together to influence and direct kids to participate..

In the end it depends on the parents. I have a friend who does not want his kids to be the kind plastered on to a screen all the time. So net time is very limited maybe a few hours a day at the most. NO TV !!! at all. Meaning they have a TV but no cable or anything. If anything anybody wants to watch he'll download it and they'll all watch it as a family.

But he also makes a great effort to be his kids busy and it is a huge task to keep three rug rats busy specially during school breaks, by shuttling them to horse riding classes, karate, camping, after school activities. I mean puts a lot of time into his two boys and one girl, which virtualy makes his personal life very hard and boring. As he never has any time for anything else i.e no personal life. Also the fact that his wife doesn't drive makes it just that much harder as he has to do all the ferrying around etc etc.

BUT on the other hand it shows in his kids. His eldest being 13 is just like a little adult meaning he's still a kid and love doing all the kid things but is perfectly at home and part of the discussion if sitting among a bunch of grown ups. Very confident and you could perfectly hang out with him for a day and not feel you're left to babysit a kid.

Although at times I do feel its a little extreme with having no TV and limited net and gaming time but I guess it does work in the end, but with a big sacrifice on the part of the parents as they are still young themselves but their live is now nothing but just their kids and don't do anything as just a couple. Everything and anything has to be for the kids.

I think DDS any one of the parents capable of such arrangements for kids is perfectly fit to do the same with the other half, that's as long as the marital relationship hasn't worn off!

I don't know why people get stressed about their teenagers being on Facebook. As long as it's not 24/7. My daughter and her friends all have FB pages and I have friend requests from them all the time. Some of the stuff they write is highly amusing. They have great senses of humour! There's no harm in anything as long as it's in moderation.
Beth has parties regularly at my house, the kids are all cheeky, amusing and pretty well behaved. FB hasn't done them any harm at all. They can talk to anyone and are all well adjusted. They are a credit to their parents.
You don't have to ferry your kids all round the planet to be a good parent. I sometimes think it's a competition to see who looks like the best parent when I hear some of the women talk in my office. Kids to running club on Monday, Brownies on Tuesday, swimming on Wednesday blah blah. Why not leave them to amuse themselves for a change? What's wrong with going outside and messing about? Why do they always have to be taken to organised activities? We never had that when we were kids and it didn't do us any harm.
Anyway as kids get older they don't want all that organised stuff anyway.
Just try having a relationship with them, it works wonders.

Bethsmum wrote:I don't know why people get stressed about their teenagers being on Facebook.

Grooming.

Flying Dutchman wrote:

Bethsmum wrote:I don't know why people get stressed about their teenagers being on Facebook.

Grooming.

Only if they accept the pervs!

DDS, your friend seems to be doing an excellent job! I admire the way they are raising their 3 kids. I've already planned that my kids will one day get simple cell phones, just for calling, no internet on there. The phones have to be put on silent during the night, and if they spend time on there during sleeping hours then they won't be allowed to keep a phone in their room anymore. There will be no TVs or computers in the bedrooms, only in the main living area so the kids can do everything need or like to do during daytime hours and we can see what they are doing. If they spend too much time on there, it will be controlled. We'll use web filters to block p<3n sites etc. The kids cannot play any violent video games on the computer - only non-violent or strategy games allowed. The kids have to agree to show us their email and socializing accounts if we think there is a problem, and of course they will be taught about some of the danger areas online when dealing with strangers and how to avoid/deal with cyber-bullying. We won't have cable TV either, will just download or watch DVDs that we find interesting. Most of the TV channels in Canada have more advertising time than program time anyway! Currently we don't subscribe to any kids channels, instead buy DVDs of the programs we like (e.g. WordWorld, Sesame Street) to play for the kids.

My aunt is pretty strict with my cousins and because she isn't very technically inclined when it comes to computers and the social media that kids are using, she is missing a lot of what is happening... My cousin put all kinds of pics of her kissing her boyfriend on Facebook, and I see that she has videos of herself singing on Youtube, which I don't think my aunt knows about. What parents need to realize is that everything online can be archived. Imagine your kids going for a job interview and the prospective employers can do an internet search and see and read up on them from everything that has been left publicly online. Parents and kids should be aware of that.

kanelli wrote:DDS, your friend seems to be doing an excellent job! I admire the way they are raising their 3 kids. I've already planned that my kids will one day get simple cell phones, just for calling, no internet on there. The phones have to be put on silent during the night, and if they spend time on there during sleeping hours then they won't be allowed to keep a phone in their room anymore. There will be no TVs or computers in the bedrooms, only in the main living area so the kids can do everything need or like to do during daytime hours and we can see what they are doing. If they spend too much time on there, it will be controlled. We'll use web filters to block p<3n sites etc. The kids cannot play any violent video games on the computer - only non-violent or strategy games allowed. The kids have to agree to show us their email and socializing accounts if we think there is a problem, and of course they will be taught about some of the danger areas online when dealing with strangers and how to avoid/deal with cyber-bullying. We won't have cable TV either, will just download or watch DVDs that we find interesting. Most of the TV channels in Canada have more advertising time than program time anyway! Currently we don't subscribe to any kids channels, instead buy DVDs of the programs we like (e.g. WordWorld, Sesame Street) to play for the kids.

My aunt is pretty strict with my cousins and because she isn't very technically inclined when it comes to computers and the social media that kids are using, she is missing a lot of what is happening... My cousin put all kinds of pics of her kissing her boyfriend on Facebook, and I see that she has videos of herself singing on Youtube, which I don't think my aunt knows about. What parents need to realize is that everything online can be archived. Imagine your kids going for a job interview and the prospective employers can do an internet search and see and read up on them from everything that has been left publicly online. Parents and kids should be aware of that.

Sounds like a whole lotta fun.

Perhaps everyone is aware of the importance of the first five years of a childs life. But for the sake of this argument I will still post some information concerning it, to put anyone who is concerned at ease.

The first five years create the foundation for the child to accomplish key developmental advances in mind and body. From the first day of life to the first day in kindergarten, a child grows at a phenomenal pace that is unequalled at any other time of life. It is during these years that the brain undergoes its most dramatic growth. Language blossoms, basic motor abilities advance, thinking starts to become more complex, and social/emotional development enables the child to begin to understand his own feelings and those of others.

http://www.aboutourkids.org/articles/ea ... five_years

So basically all that jargon means that if they are well taken care off from that period, then GOD WILLING, they will turn out right, Then later on perhaps more covert surveillance methods could be beneficial ,

With laptops, there are dozens of spy apps you can purchase or *cough* download , that will ensure you get a live data stream of what is going on, this is already used in many corporate environments. If you still dont get what I mean, you can acquire the password of all the accounts of your kids, then do as you wish

To track the location of a person, it can already be done with a blackberry (note i dont know if this works in the uae though)

http://www.trackblackberry.com/42/track ... lackberry/

Additional features include:

Secretly read incoming / outgoing text messages.
Viewing call history details so you know who they are calling.
Remote monitoring so you can secretly listen in on their surroundings.
LIVE call interception, which enables you to secretly listen in on live calls.

My point is, it can be done very stealthily, moreover as BM cited, if they are nurtured properly, then the likelihood of them falling into sin would be lower

So if you cut out tech in the first 5 years then your teenager won't be addicted to it later? Care to show me some stats for that?

-- Fri Jan 21, 2011 12:11 pm --

Bethsmum wrote:Sounds like a whole lotta fun.

What, you didn't have any fun as a kid four decades ago when there was no Internet, video games, cell phones etc.?

kanelli wrote:So if you cut out tech in the first 5 years then your teenager won't be addicted to it later? Care to show me some stats for that?

No such inferences were made kanelli

kanelli wrote:

Bethsmum wrote:Sounds like a whole lotta fun.

What, you didn't have any fun as a kid four decades ago when there was no Internet, video games, cell phones etc.?

You can't turn back time K. You need to get with the programme. Deny things and they will end up resenting you for it. Look at women on a diet, deny them chocolate and what do they crave? Chocolate. IMO much better to have a little of what they want.

This topic is so amusing with all you theories and conspiracies on child rearing! It really isn’t that complicated. Give them boundaries and when they try to cross them, knock them back.

If they need a slap, give them one. I’m not talking beating them senseless but a slap never hurt anyone. The last time I slapped my eldest daughter was when she was 18, the middle one 21 and I can’t remember the last time Beth got one, the threat of it seems enough for her.

Before anyone comes back with what a terrible mother I am I will tell you how my kids have turned out.

The eldest one never dossed about at university; she left school and got a job. She now works for a multinational company based in Manchester and was recently approached and offered the job of Project Manager for Europe, the Middle East and Africa. She has done extremely well.

The second one is write off unfortunately, through no fault of her own. She had very good prospects but became ill and eventually married some Pakistani Muslim doctor and is now kept under wrap and key somewhere.

Beth is now 15 and is turning out to be an absolute star. I can’t say she is a straight A student but not that far off. She’s aiming to be a fast jet pilot in the RAF. I always tell her to reach for the stars and she’s taken me literally. She can be cheeky, witty and is proving to be very popular. And she even likes the odd Blue Wicked.

So there are parents who can and have control of there kids, that’s a shock

uaekid wrote:So there are parents who can and have control of there kids, that’s a shock

yes Kid, believe it or not there are some of us who are in control of our offspring. You don't tend to hear about us in the press, we don't make headlines.

I will let my kids use their technology gadgets, but I refuse to be one of those families where everyone is in a different room in the house watching a different TV, in front of their own computers. or sitting at the table in a restaurant on our own cell phones playing games, surfing internet, listening to music, or talking on the phone instead of talking to each other. Technology is an increasing part of life and these goals cannot be achieved without controlling the use of the gadgets until I can see they use good judgment on their own.

-- Sat Jan 22, 2011 4:01 am --

zubber wrote:

kanelli wrote:So if you cut out tech in the first 5 years then your teenager won't be addicted to it later? Care to show me some stats for that?

No such inferences were made kanelli

So what was your point with all the 5 yr old child development cut and paste?

zubber wrote:Now this lady here has won my respect. Perhaps what she has done should be a done by all parents alteast once ever month --

NEW YORK – Susan Maushart lived out every parent's fantasy: She unplugged her teenagers

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110118/ap_ ... BwZW5zdw--

All this technology is really unnecessary, Gone are the days when two good friends would sit and have a great time reconnecting over a cup of whatever. *sigh*

No big deal really, it all boils down to how creative parents can be...

Most kids rely so heavily on technology for two reasons namely curiosity and (funnily enough) emotional stability. Technology fills this vaccme which consumes most kids today. So long as parents are creative enough to mentor theirs kids beyond a bank balance, addiction to technology will revert to passing fad or harmless curiosity.

I've seen this lovely family do it just right. Three kids, two are teens one's a pre-teen. Kids are full of life sports, experimental robotics, playing music where dependence on disposable technology (ipods, facebook, chatting etc) is only restricted to necessity. The catch being that inspiration here came from the folks both of whom are highly creative people.

Bethsmum wrote:You can't turn back time K. You need to get with the programme. Deny things and they will end up resenting you for it. Look at women on a diet, deny them chocolate and what do they crave? Chocolate. IMO much better to have a little of what they want.

This topic is so amusing with all you theories and conspiracies on child rearing! It really isn’t that complicated. Give them boundaries and when they try to cross them, knock them back.

Indeed parents should realize the importance of behavioral correction via corrective measures

I'm still trying to figure out the theories and conspiracies about child rearing Im supposedly talking about. I just don't want my kids sending and receiving text messages and phone calls all night, or surfing the internet or playing video games so much that it interferes with sleep, school work and quality time with family and friends. I've met families where everyone has a TV and computer in their bedroom, so everyone is spread out across the house and barely socializing with each other. Even dinner hour sees phones left on the table or nearby. Had dinner with friends out at a restaurant and their teenager listened to music from her phone during the whole meal.

kanelli wrote:I'm still trying to figure out the theories and conspiracies about child rearing Im supposedly talking about. I just don't want my kids sending and receiving text messages and phone calls all night, or surfing the internet or playing video games so much that it interferes with sleep, school work and quality time with family and friends. I've met families where everyone has a TV and computer in their bedroom, so everyone is spread out across the house and barely socializing with each other. Even dinner hour sees phones left on the table or nearby. Had dinner with friends out at a restaurant and their teenager listened to music from her phone during the whole meal.

your ideas are not flawed on the contrary they are effective and practical IMHO

kanelli wrote:I'm still trying to figure out the theories and conspiracies about child rearing Im supposedly talking about. I just don't want my kids sending and receiving text messages and phone calls all night, or surfing the internet or playing video games so much that it interferes with sleep, school work and quality time with family and friends. I've met families where everyone has a TV and computer in their bedroom, so everyone is spread out across the house and barely socializing with each other. Even dinner hour sees phones left on the table or nearby. Had dinner with friends out at a restaurant and their teenager listened to music from her phone during the whole meal.

You need to pick your friends K, they are just bad mannered.

BM, they are perfectly nice people with family problems at home due to lack of cooperation between husband and wife and no firm boundaries for the kids. Maybe you vet your friends based on your high and strict criteria, but I don't expect friends to be perfect. I've dropped one fried because of maid abuse, but I don't drop friends for having impolite teenagers. (And of course I dropped friends who treated me poorly - haven't we all.)

kanelli wrote:BM, they are perfectly nice people with family problems at home due to lack of cooperation between husband and wife and no firm boundaries for the kids. Maybe you vet your friends based on your high and strict criteria, but I don't expect friends to be perfect. I've dropped one fried because of maid abuse, but I don't drop friends for having impolite teenagers. (And of course I dropped friends who treated me poorly - haven't we all.)

Keep your wig on, I was refering to the kids.

Why don't you try counselling the parents, apart from that, try kicking their kids.

I think there reason there are so many therapists, PHd's, psychatrist, etc. is becuase it is a job as no one has the answer.

Forget about newspaper stories, "studies" etc. If you look closely (and know of such people/families) you will realise that in most families regardless of the upbringing sibblings almost never turn out to be exactly the same. And those differences are not just noticeable now with internet/etc. It was the same when "radio", "TV", "Drugs" where the influence.

Who says internet/tv/ etc. are bad for you...except those who think internet/tv are bad for you?...viscious cylcle.

*must leave forum, as my tweeter, facebook, e-mail, tv, ipod, and ipad are running simulteneously -while I drive*