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Chocoholic · Dec 12, 2010

Mel, sadly you too miss the point. Sarah says she wants to date a blue-eyed, blonde, white hottie - er how is that US enforcing OUR values on her? She's the one wanting to go against all her values, not the other way around luv.

We're simply saying that what she wants and the reality are two completely different things, that sadly aren't often negotiable in this part of the world, too many factors involved.

But hey I guess it's far easier for you to sit there and say 'Bad westerners, how dare you corrupt our girls' - blah blah blah.

Well I could sit here and say 'Keep your mits off our men!'

Sarah21 · Dec 12, 2010

Dubai Knight wrote:Sarah, I feel a little sorry for you firstly because you posted here quite a valid and interesting point of view and then were set upon by some of the pack quite unfairly. Ignore them.

Similarly, the desire to have a western boy as a friend (tall, blonde, blue-eyed by your own admission) is a purely physical attraction, something that is frowned upon by your social upbringing. Once you have this boy as a friend, then what? Human nature, chemicals and the inbred need to propagate the species will eventually lead to frustration and denial. You may have the trophy, but will also probably have to come back down to earth with a bump when it comes to marriage and the rest of your life. It is unlikely this idyllic male will be able to tick all the boxes (rich, intelligent...and Muslim) The choice will ultimately not be yours to make and therefore you will have sacrificed your own happiness for what? To keep your family happy. Where is your freedom of choice to be happy? I feel sorry for you as your 'conditioning' will ultimately decide your future. Not you.

The experiences we gain in life's journey make us the people we are and that diversity is what makes the human race such a screwed up, imperfect species. And yet, such an interesting and creative one.

My advice would be to enjoy the freedoms you have right now as it is transient and, once gone, can never be found again. Let the veil slip a little and you might find something truly valid in your life.

Knight

Thank you for your replay sir
But I d like for you to know that my family give me the choice for choosing who ever I want to marry and they are wll aware that I'm not into local boys and i want to have a relationship with westerner and they are ok with that.
Even last summer in the US I spent time hanging with my American friend Mike and all was good no one said anything about staying away from him or anything!?
And I'm sure I'm not gonna find a virgin boyfriend but it doesn't matter about before and his old relationships once we start our relationship, what really matter for me is his education, wisdom, compassion, honesty, his goals in life.. What's inside is what really matter for me in the end . I know I mentioned th looks that I'm attracted to but I know that looks fade and only inside beauty remains. I just mentioned them in the start of my post because I only wanted to give an example! my post was to give a pice of information to some people who are afried of apporching locals that they shouldnt be afraid of being put in jail thats all I wasn't talking really sirosly and if I thought people would take every single word I put in that post and crisis it i would've wrote more sirosly and deeply about what I really would want in a guy but I know this isn't a dating forum that's why I didn't go and wrote everything ..
Also I know a local girl who marred a westerner she wasn't his first but she was his last and they are living really good however he did convert to Islam to marry her tho..

Can you give me your opinion in what I just wrote please?
Regards

melika969 · Dec 12, 2010

Mel, sadly you too miss the point. Sarah says she wants to date a blue-eyed, blonde, white hottie - er how is that US enforcing OUR values on her? She's the one wanting to go against all her values, not the other way around luv.

You are making fun of her because of importance of virginity before marriage in her culture, the way they date, the way they get married, etc etc.( not like I approve those ways, but I can accept them in the way they are).

I admire her because she wants to change and look for new things. I agree the way she put it about Indians, Pakistanis, and Bangladeshis was naive and arrogant. Still she needs more guidance, not from some self obsessed people!

Chocoholic · Dec 12, 2010

Sarah, If I may, it's all very well to have a list and want you want in your ideal guy - but in reality the more you make lists of specific traits the more you limit yourself and could quite possibly overlook someone because they don't tick all your boxes. It's because you're young, inexperienced and you have a long way to go to learn some of life's best lessons.

Throw the check list out the window and open yourself up to all possibilities. It's good to hear that your parents are open minded when it comes to such things, I only hope that it is genuine and they don't change their opinion if something ever becomes serious.

-- Sun Dec 12, 2010 6:56 pm --

melika969 wrote:
Mel, sadly you too miss the point. Sarah says she wants to date a blue-eyed, blonde, white hottie - er how is that US enforcing OUR values on her? She's the one wanting to go against all her values, not the other way around luv.

You are making fun of her because of importance of virginity before marriage in her culture, the way they date, the way they get married, etc etc.( not like I approve those ways, but I can accept them in the way they are).

I admire her because she wants to change and look for new things. I agree the way she put it about Indians, Pakistanis, and Bangladeshis was naive and arrogant. Still she needs more guidance, not from some self obsessed people!

No Mel, no one was making fun, people were simply being realistic! I admire anyone who has the will power for that, even though I strongly disagree with it.

desertdudeshj · Dec 12, 2010

Sarah21 wrote:Also I know a local girl who marred a westerner

Sarah21 wrote:good to hear you know some who are married to westerners yay.

Sarah21 · Dec 12, 2010

Melika thank you ..
And about the way girls get marred here I too don't approve of them "arrenged marriages and stuff" I think thy are retorted and so out of reialty! Because come on how in he'll can you marry someone you've never known or spoken to before in your life! Thts just so unreal!
However concerning virginity before marriage that my choice and I believe in it and I just can't ever think about doing it before marriage. Plus ther are some few very few westerner who still believe in virginity before marriage and stuff so I'm not that wearied for those westerner who just chose to see me from thir view..

Chocoholic
Thank you for your replay
And I get what you say and I accept it someone shouldn't be so hard to please and expect to get exactly what he or she want in life because that's un real in life in the end we are not living in a Disney movie.
But don't you think that there are some things that you can't get over like for example wanting someone who is honest I don't think I'd be able to settle for a lair lol !?
Just sayin i'd get over not getting some stuff but some stuff is a human nature to want.
I aprshyat your answers to me

All the best

zubber · Dec 12, 2010

melika969 wrote:... I agree the way she put it about Indians, Pakistanis, and Bangladeshis was naive and arrogant...

ya sara , your defense to this argument ?

Sarah21 wrote: Plus ther are some few very few westerner who still believe in virginity before marriage and

And what would someone with this opinion do , if they are unable to find what they seek ? You alternative strategy ?

melika969 · Dec 12, 2010

desertdudeshj wrote:...Another ( Indian ) friend was banging the brains out of this local girl, she wanted to marry but he refused knowing how her family and the in laws would forever be a problem in his life.

Do we need to know what DDS's friend was doing to the local girl?!!

zonker · Dec 12, 2010

melika969 wrote:
desertdudeshj wrote:...Another ( Indian ) friend was banging the brains out of this local girl, she wanted to marry but he refused knowing how her family and the in laws would forever be a problem in his life.

Do we need to know what DDS's friend was doing to the local girl?!!

Banging her brains out, of course! :lol:

Could that mean Carnal Knowledge? :bigsmurf:

Very relevant to a thread dedicated to Romance, but highly dangerous in a society like the UAE.
And the bottom line: Oil Rich Middle Eastern girls dont mind "doing it" with Westerners of fair skin, blond hair,blue eyes. That bit about the virginity etc. is not for serious consumption, surely.
The rest of you, Indians, Pakistanis, Bangladeshis? Take a hike! :bounce:

zubber · Dec 12, 2010

zonker wrote:And the bottom line: Oil Rich Middle Eastern girls dont mind "doing it" with Westerners of fair skin, blond hair,blue eyes.

So you agree to the fact that the emirati's are downright racist in every way, with undue preference to a specific race, who are still possessing the colonized mindset , who are suffering from a combination of a serious inferiority complex of their own race coupled with arrogance , rendering them completely devoid of any sense ?

That bit about the virginity etc. is not for serious consumption, surely.

If you are emirati then you are well aware, backdooring is a common phenomenon in the khaleej? and a vast majority of the arabic women are being taken advantage of by their own people ?

The rest of you, Indians, Pakistanis, Bangladeshis? Take a hike!

Well if they did that , the arabian peninsula would be a desert full of wandering nomads, and perhaps the middle eastern governments should have said this before they were unable to find anybody to build any sort of infrastructure for them ? Do you think that the white elephant ( the dubai tower, burj al arab, and practically every single construction in the entire nation) or the PALM would exist ? were it not for the south asian labor ? Who I might had have been exploited in a very inhumane manner?

zonker · Dec 13, 2010

Zubber, amen to all that.
After long deliberation, I have come to the conclusion that Planet Earth is not a fair place.
I hope that Heaven, as promised by Allah, will not be full of his chosen people, these arrogant Arabs!

symmetric · Dec 13, 2010

Zobber/Zonker, what are you aiming at? Are you trying to discuss the ethics and behaviour of my people?
Let me sum it up for you .. GOOD & BAD exist in every society, and stereotyping a whole nation is lame.

On the other hand, I don't appreciate wicked comments from jerks like you.
If my people are racist & our government sucks, then what the fcuk are you doing here among us??
Try India or Pakistan or any other damn place that matches your standards where all people are perfect.

So called "adults" judging and questioning a young girl in an impolite way is actually one of the ugliest things I've ever seen in my life. So what if some of her comments didn't sound nice, based on her backgrounds you easily tell she did NOT intend to insult anyone. I don't agree with her views at all, but the girl spoke very frankly with pure intentions, and she surely did not mean to harm anyone.

-- Mon Dec 13, 2010 12:33 am --

melika969 wrote:
desertdudeshj wrote:...Another ( Indian ) friend was banging the brains out of this local girl, she wanted to marry but he refused knowing how her family and the in laws would forever be a problem in his life.

Do we need to know what DDS's friend was doing to the local girl?!!

Exactly!
He can't help not acting dirty and rude. Thats him, since day one I met him.
I wonder if anyone appreciates his filthy attitude, other than those of his own kind.

zubber · Dec 13, 2010

symmetric wrote:Zobber/Zonker, what are you aiming at?

yaaki, Isma, No one is aiming at nothing, men do not talk with hidden intent like the o so lovely women who we cannot live without. This is just an objective discussion nothing more, So please DO NOT TAKE OFFENSE,

Let me sum it up for you .. GOOD & BAD exist in every society, and stereotyping a whole nation is lame.

THis is the truth , The Whole Truth and Nothing but the truth

On the other hand, I don't appreciate wicked comments from jerks like you.

YOur lack of appreciation is due to your own misunderstanding of this discussion, Do not stoop low to hurl insults at contenders in a debate. You first lesson in ethical debating.

If my people are racist & our government sucks, then what the fcuk are you doing here among us??

Let us be objective, I urge you again , Loosing your temper is a sign of weakness and lack of depth of perception. Do not repeat it , lest someone call you on it.

So called "adults" judging and questioning a young girl in an impolite way is actually one of the ugliest things I've ever seen in my life. So what if some of her comments didn't sound nice, based on her backgrounds you easily tell she did NOT intend to insult anyone. I don't agree with her views at all, but the girl spoke very frankly with pure intentions, and she surely did not mean to harm anyone.

Chill , take a xanax, this thread only has objective discussions. Your strong emotional responses are invalid, uncalled for, and out of context

-- Mon Dec 13, 2010 12:37 am --

zonker wrote:Zubber, amen to all that.
After long deliberation, I have come to the conclusion that Planet Earth is not a fair place.
I hope that Heaven, as promised by Allah, will not be full of his chosen people, these arrogant Arabs!

haha, luckily the chosen people are only those that have faith and not restricted to race , religion or physical construct. And indeed u have made an excellent argument, the world is not fair, logic demands, that justice should be served , and it indeed shall be done and then some...

zonker · Dec 13, 2010

Good response Zubber; you beat me to it!
Mr. Symmetric, pray why do you label us as "jerks"? Because, in your reckoning, we may not make it to your 'A' list of races? Allah be praised!
I for one have not been rude to her, and I also agree there is good and bad in every society.
I just found her original comment very interesting, and some of the responses enlightening. Thats all.

"He smiled on the bold Romans,
A smile serene and high;
He eyed the flinching Tuscans,
And scorn was in his eye!" :bounce:

Adham302 · Mar 09, 2011

Well I lived in Both USA and Qatar. I am lebanese, but talking to qatari girls was not an issue i had a lot of qatari freinds who were girls, but the problem was with the local guys. If they see u talking to a local girl, then they get upset, cos they think there is no pure freindship and the western guy is planning somethin bad. on the other hand these same local guys talk to western girls knowing that they are looking for somethin more than a freindship and less than a relationship.

But i met some open minded local people in qatar and they were very cool and we hung out over coffee or shisha...the point is this, there are open and close minded people everywhere. ( even in the US with the rednecks and amish)

I am never scared to talk to a local girl, well first i have to be respectful and draw my lines...bas if u become freinds with them, so what if u say a not so clean joke , ur just talkin to a freinds.

thats my opinion...

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