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Well I believe that most people will end up a C when it comes down to a real situation, but I might be mistaken.

Once a cheat, always a cheat

May or may not be true. I've dealt with this issue once before, and although I spent my life believing that I would be an A, after calming down, I realized that I had made mistakes that played a role in her decision. She didn't go as far as sleeping with him, but there was a certain extent of intimacy, which rooted from a number of problems that had festered over a long period of time, decreasing the passion in our relationship. We talked about the whole issue, and she apologized through her tears, and it never happened again. That's when I learned that it is best to discuss and solve any issues, regardless of how small they may seem at the time, because that will help avoid a major issue such as cheating between lovers. In the end it comes down to each person's own view on relationships, and how far the cheating went. Sometimes the cheater may have deep regret for their actions because they realize that it did not fulfill whatever they hoped to gain from it. Of course, there's always the princess/a-hole who will cheat out of sheer boredom, and I hope they rot in hell!

Icenic wrote:She didn't go as far as sleeping with him, but there was a certain extent of intimacy

What was this extent of intimacy? Dis she kiss him? Did she hold hands with him? Did she talk to him?

Well there was kissing and groping involved, at a prolonged period of time. It may not be the equivalent of sleeping with him, but I never said I was an expert on the matter.

Icenic, bravo to you to admit that you played a role in what happened. You certainly have my respect. Sometimes the speaker doesn't send a clear message so it is hard for the other person to hear it. Best to say what it is and make it clear before doing something that could bring regret, rather than after the fact saying "I was trying to tell you, but you weren't listening". People are not mind readers.

Hope all works well for you.

I will quote Confucius on this one:

"If I am walking with two other men, each of them will sever as my teacher. I will pick out the good points of the one and imitate them, and the bad points of the other and correct them in myself."

I was only able to realize my mistakes and admit them because I saw many other couples around me and all the mistakes they were making with one another. It is always easier to see errors in others than in yourself, so use that to your advantage.

Bora Bora, I thank you for your comment, and respect you in return for your wise words.

Peace

Thank you for the quote. Confucius was indeed a very wise man, as you are.

Icenic, you seem wise beyond your years!

Oh yeah, and cool avatar! Lennon was one of my heroes.



Knight

Thank God it wasn't Yoko !

Thank you for your comment Knight; I guess you can understand why I suffer here. Hehehe.

John Lennon has inspired me in so many ways, and has been the root to many of my principles in life. As for Yoko, I think she is kind of unjustly hated by so many. Yes, she's probably the reason behind The Beatles falling apart, but she wasn't intentionally doing so. Love tends to drive you away from your friends, and I have been down that road before.

P.S. DesertDude, your signature pic is horrific! But I love it! Hahahaha! Any Windows user has been through that feeling time and time again, that's why I'm glad to have moved to Mac, and just in case anyone is loaded with a "rich kid" comment, the institute I study at provide us with one as part of the program. That's why I love it so much!

a) Leave them

Once a cheater, always a cheater!

but I maybe will consider giving him another chance if he like only kissed another girl and we had like a life together been in a relationship for long time.
but if he slept with another girl i'd kick his ass from here to th outtar space n never take him back!!

People cheat for different reasons, and if a relationship is going to be at least attempted to be saved, those reasons need to be confronted and rectified.

Trust is a huge issue, and takes a huge blow with infidelity.

Men typically (not always, but typically) cheat because of pride, or the feeling of being "trapped". At our core, men are ego driven creatures and any perceived slight can rapidly devolve into bad behavior (neglect, going out to much, and cheating). When a man cheats, its often a spur of the moment thing, not something they have planned and plotted for a certain amount of time. This can be echoed in the typical man's life in how he buys stuff he does not need on a whim, has to have the biggest truck or fastest car, biggest TV, that sort of thing.

Women typically cheat because of feeling isolated, ignored or alone. My unfortunate experience of being the other man a few times in my youth, taught me that most women who cheat have no one to listen to them, to talk to, to hold them, just to be there. Sure, there are women who are "wild" and will cheat, and also women who have a difficulty saying no (I am a guy like that, hence my unfortunate experience). In this way, women are typically more deliberate, and less spontaneous when it comes to infidelity.

These are just social norms, and is not the "rule" however.

If both sides want to try and save the relationship, they will need outside help. What needs to be done is they need to get to the core of why they did it, the core of their unhappiness. If they can find it, and realize they still want to make a go at it, they need to confront said issues, and crush them. It will take time, it will be difficult and most will quit before it happens, but its a long and necessary road to mend what fences they can. And even with that, there will always be that lingering doubt.

I suppose it all comes down to love. If love is still there, then they should do everything they can to save their relationship, until there is no love there.

cheaters=big fat liars

"cheat for different reasons"? NO! "one husband/wife at a time honey"!

WhiteJade wrote:cheaters=big fat liars

"cheat for different reasons"? NO! "one husband/wife at a time honey"!

What about the ones here who have a whole bunch of wives? Are they cheating on the earlier ones if they get a younger wife?



Knight

Isn't it written in their law that only under extreme conditions are they allowed to marry more then one. That's what I've heard. Anyway is it common in the U.A.E.?

Yes its quite common, more so in Saudi.

Not sure about extreme circumstances, but in KSA often it is done as a political alignment between two families where the father decides his daughter would best be married to someone who might otherwise be a business rival.

Women are considered a commodity, not a human being.



Knight

depends on circumstances.

I would honestly ditch the guy and send my girls to hit the girl he cheated on me with!

in the same case you will not be able to get back in good relation but about children and other related matters you have to think, in the starting you want to finish every thing but you have to see the related matters..

c) depends on the circumstances. Some people do not realize that things like loneliness can trigger that among other things

LEAVE THE PERSON!!

Either a or c, depending how how the relationship was going at the time. If it happened when everything was going well, it's a deal breaker. If it was during a rough patch, then .. maybe.

Totally agree with chocoholic , its as simple as its, never trust a cheater,,

All I can say is you may think you know what you would do, but I would say you never know unless it happens!

Its easy to spot a cheater, if you ask them , they will say no, thats when you stab them in the eye

Yeap, I think so.