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Chocoholic wrote:I want to get to know a person, to spend time with them, to live with them, before I'd even consider taking that step.

Thats right chocs, no one should be under pressure to marry. Of course everyone would like to be married to their soulmate, but there is nothing wrong with being single. single is far better than unhappily married.

What about the poor dog? Did it have asay in things?

More importantly was the marriage consumed?

^I think you mean consummated - the groom wasn't Korean, after all. LOL

Cheers,
Shafique

herve wrote:

melika969 wrote: Reading abt you and your book I was really impressed by what you have done, but it seems like you actually have no clue abt what you talking here!

Roamce is not absent, I know lots of men who worship their wives even in an arranged marriage. It doesnt mean they have to be successful relationship all the time, but the partners dont need to know too much abt each other to fall in love!

Why do you think they ask the girls opinions abt the guy? to know more abt the feeling. well as they are not exposed to much relationships before marriage, their feelings are not that complicated!

If you really are interested to know more I suggest you to read abt romance and literature here.

Melika, where is the seduction when the woman is "brought up" to the groom, seduction is a chase, an effort to gain another woman affection, that does not happen in an arranged relation, it s all fixed. How a woman can be seduced when she is covered up head to toes and when no interaction with another man in public is allowed.
I dont know where you are from, I dont know about romance in Pakistan or Iran, I do know in Dubai, for what I heard from Emirati women directly, there is none, or when there is it lasts 3 months, or does not pass when the Emirati meets his 2nd, 3rd, 4th wife, and that s not including the "temporary" wives.
I never saw an Emirati buy flowers, it is the other way around, the woman has to bring a dowry, look carefully who goes to the flower shops, only expats, and I know from a UAE Custom official that they restrict import of flowers during St Valentine, the reason being that Emirati's do not want to be embarrassed at their women when they see how expatriates show romance to their women.
You want to know about romance? talk to an Italian or a French, trust me you ll learn a little more than from an Emirati.

yes herve we all know you are french and you have listed out in your book on how to be ROMANTIC!

here are couple of quotes from your book "a guide to emaratis on how to give a romantic kiss"

Trade-off Kiss
One of you gets a cinnamon candy and the other a mint. One takes the cinnamon and the other the mint. While French kissing, switch them from time to time. Great fun.

Touch Kiss
You do this after you and your partner have Frenched or really kissed alot. What you do is just simply touch tongues - like the tip of your tongue. You may want to move it around but you don't have to. You don't do it inside your mouth you do it out in the open.

Flavor Kissing
Put a piece of long lasting gum in your mouth (Hubba Bubba, Trident) just before you and your partner French kiss. While kissing pass the gum back and forth, and see how long it takes for the flavor to run out!

Butterfly Kissing
Put your eye really close to your partner's cheek and flutter your lashes upon their skin. You can also do this on their lips.

Glow Stick Frenzy
Pass the mini mouth glow stick back and forth

Pop Kiss
Use pop-rocks, great fun. You've heard of fireworks, this is an explosion!

Chin Kiss
Hold your partner's chin with your middle, index, and thumb and tilt their head in the right direction. Continue to hold it as you kiss.


no wonder the french are always at it like bloody bunnies running on DURACELL BATTERIES!

Mr rudeboy, I am sending a complain to the moderators to have you banned indefinitely for misquoting me and for slander, I never wrote any of these quotes. Being anonymous you might get away with it, but not the forum, who is liable, and hosted from the US. These quotes are not from me , my book, or any other of my writings, and bethsmum who is reading my book could testify.

Yes, I can verify that these quotes are not from Herve's book but a fantasy of Rudeboy's.

The rude dude when not good should be kicked out the hood.

I've taken up rapp.

i guess napolean never did have sense of humour than!!

Can anybody from this culture give some inside info on the dog marriage which is true?

I'm just curious as to what they would get out of the marriage.

For example if I had to say offend Chocs, would this be a solution?

Quote from a well known movie:

"Marriage is given as a sentence for shoplifting in some countries!"



Knight

drewpeacock wrote:Can anybody from this culture give some inside info on the dog marriage which is true?

I'm just curious as to what they would get out of the marriage.

For example if I had to say offend Chocs, would this be a solution?

Drew! Do not offend this woman. She has wasta, she says.

Sorry BM Im a thicko.

What is wasta? is this text language?

drewpeacock wrote:Sorry BM Im a thicko.

What is wasta? is this text language?

It's some serious pasta.

Bora Bora wrote:

drewpeacock wrote:Sorry BM Im a thicko.

What is wasta? is this text language?

It's some serious pasta.

Eaten by a Rasta (Jamaican Hippy)

Nasta the wiser boys and girls.

sage & onion wrote:

Bora Bora wrote:

drewpeacock wrote:Sorry BM Im a thicko.

What is wasta? is this text language?

It's some serious pasta.

Eaten by a Rasta (Jamaican Hippy)

Rastas don't eat pasta! they eat jerk chicken.

-- Thu Nov 25, 2010 1:04 am --

drewpeacock wrote:Nasta the wiser boys and girls.

Drew, I don't believe you don't know wasta. It is clout, and not the type you get when you get home after too many G & T's.

Agree with FD - arranged marraiges can be good successful but forced marraiges are not. Social pressures are sometimes too much for a girl or guy to say no so the line between forced is not always clear. My best friends mother and father (they are pakistani) had an arranged marraige - they are happy and together and learned to love each other - I have no problem with that.

Marriages between first cousins should be outlawed globally but in the UAE and a lot of other countries (india, pakistan, bangladesh and countless more) its the way to keep it in the family. In the US and UK doctors have been advising families to discontinue this practice - there are lots of children born with deformaties and other illness's - again it an educational thing. The practice is certainly less common then it used to be just still widespread. While we think marrying a first cousin is ing for these folk its completely normal and the best way to keep in tact the family wealth and genes.

Now I know what is a wasa, but forgot what context it came up in.

JoeTGF wrote:Agree with FD - arranged marraiges can be good successful but forced marraiges are not. Social pressures are sometimes too much for a girl or guy to say no so the line between forced is not always clear. My best friends mother and father (they are pakistani) had an arranged marraige - they are happy and together and learned to love each other - I have no problem with that.

Marriages between first cousins should be outlawed globally but in the UAE and a lot of other countries (india, pakistan, bangladesh and countless more) its the way to keep it in the family. In the US and UK doctors have been advising families to discontinue this practice - there are lots of children born with deformaties and other illness's - again it an educational thing. The practice is certainly less common then it used to be just still widespread. While we think marrying a first cousin is ing for these folk its completely normal and the best way to keep in tact the family wealth and genes.

Well I want to know where all those rednecks living in trailer parks are hiding their money and we know their genes are seriously screwed up. I heard about this guy whose family disowned him because he married outside the family.

We can't compare the UAE and the West where marriages between cousins are extremely negligable and limited to rednecks like you said, and the UAE where marriages between cousins represent 46% , and are practised by the rulers themselves. At this rate, diseases will wipe out or numb Emirati's before they understood what hit them.

Since this point was not mentioned I will do it .

Arranged Marriages are a marriage of convenience mostly - Both of them can focus on whatever they want to do and then when the time is right , Boom it happens. Now I am not saying this perfect. But anyone who is out there going night after night , working hard at improving his game skills , soaking up vast amounts of theory on seduction , female psychology , persuasion and covert hypnosis. Would agree that all the valuable time can be spent doing something more constructive. And the chances that relatively inexperience in relationships would translate to reduction in the number of std's and making sure that she is a virgin (important to some folk). Not to forget members of british royalty and other royalties throughout the world have very close marriages , to preserve wealth, and the reason why members of royalty are so !^%@#!# up

Sure scientifically speaking the percentage of incurring genetic errors between people with very close dna sequences is extremely high, however there does not exist any controlled studies that can draw a conclusive conclusion, moreover I foresee that in the future, if families do insist that people of close blood ties get married , they atleast seek genetic counselling , or maybe genetic medicine will be advanced enough to make sure that their kids are healthy.

And if you are the type of that person who only respects skill, then GAME ON !

zubber wrote:...Sure scientifically speaking the percentage of incurring genetic errors between people with very close dna sequences is extremely high, however there does not exist any controlled studies that can draw a conclusive conclusion, moreover I foresee that in the future, if families do insist that people of close blood ties get married , they atleast seek genetic counselling , or maybe genetic medicine will be advanced enough to make sure that their kids are healthy.

You have got to be kidding. How is counselling going to help the 3 legged offspring?
Also nobody is going to go a clinical contolled study to create deformed children - thats ridiculous. There is enormous scientific research on this issue without any physician asking for clinical trials to be conducted. Forget genetic medicine - treatment is not the cure here = prevention is. Also bear in mind that these marriages or at least a large majority of them are based on a lack of education and understanding of the detrimental effects on the offspring.

JoeTGF wrote:

zubber wrote:.
You have got to be kidding. How is counselling going to help the 3 legged offspring?
Also nobody is going to go a clinical contolled study to create deformed children - thats ridiculous. There is enormous scientific research on this issue without any physician asking for clinical trials to be conducted. Forget genetic medicine - treatment is not the cure here = prevention is. Also bear in mind that these marriages or at least a large majority of them are based on a lack of education and understanding of the detrimental effects on the offspring.

Let's face it , the practice is not going to go away , its just a whimsical imagination people have, I am only seeing a way in which how to cure the situation if and when it occurs. And I don't think that lack of understanding is the problem, if that was the case then royalty for argument would not engage in it. It would then be for other reasons.

Zubber
People still get aids in africa because they don't understand that a condom can prevent the transfer of that disease. Will all aids be eradicated by teaching people why they should use a condom? No. But providing people with education on the issue so that they make informed judgements which are in most cases self serving will reduce the problem considerably. The problem with intra-family arranged marriages is that people still believe that there is no downside with 1st cousins hooking up. The middle class or more educated people in India and Pakistan do not from my understanding suggest marriages between 1st cousins any longer as they are aware of the genetic problems. However people living in the villages that have traditions to follow and a lack of education still promote intra-family marriages and thats where the problem is.

Definitely in the situation of more rural areas that have a lack of access to proper education would have some problems. But if you see in history marriages within tribes or a community was the norm. And they did that for a variety of reasons, the same idea has trickled down to today. If it was completely destructive then the human population would have been wiped out. But that hasnt happned, meaning that the incidence of occurrence of genetic errors is debatable and it is in this area as i mentioned earlier there is a serious need for controlled studies. Maybe not in human but maybe primates , I'll let the geneticists to wonder about designing that experiment. And like i said it keeps happening everywhere, and will continue to happen for many years to come.

So if I were to play the role of the public health policy maker, I would definitely direct vast amount of research on genetic medicine (which has astronomically increases by big pharma btw currently), since if people insist on this to happen then they will atleast have some medical help.

zubber wrote:Definitely in the situation of more rural areas that have a lack of access to proper education would have some problems. But if you see in history marriages within tribes or a community was the norm. And they did that for a variety of reasons, the same idea has trickled down to today. If it was completely destructive then the human population would have been wiped out. But that hasnt happned, meaning that the incidence of occurrence of genetic errors is debatable and it is in this area as i mentioned earlier there is a serious need for controlled studies. Maybe not in human but maybe primates , I'll let the geneticists to wonder about designing that experiment. And like i said it keeps happening everywhere, and will continue to happen for many years to come.

So if I were to play the role of the public health policy maker, I would definitely direct vast amount of research on genetic medicine (which has astronomically increases by big pharma btw currently), since if people insist on this to happen then they will atleast have some medical help.

1. Its not been completely distructive because it doesn't happen 100% of the time to 100% of the people. Plus you forget a big point here - when all your offspring or the majority of them are handicapped (mentally or physically) its unlikely that they will also rear offspring or get married. Hence the survival of the fittest comes into play.

2. Drug companies invest money into drugs that can treat diseases - as this is a big problem its not surprising they are investing money in it. Do you know why drug companies don't spend money educating people on aids and distributing free condoms? Its because its not in their interest - making medicine and selling it to treat sufferers is.

I agree that some drugs are better than none but lets not miss the point and go looking at treatments rather than the cure which is far simpler.

All I am saying is "it will happen and continue to happen" regardless of the amount of education given. So the idea of cure by prevention is far fetched idea, controlling the problem is more practical imho

JoeTGF wrote:
You have got to be kidding. How is counselling going to help the 3 legged offspring?
Also nobody is going to go a clinical contolled study to create deformed children - thats ridiculous. There is enormous scientific research on this issue without any physician asking for clinical trials to be conducted. Forget genetic medicine - treatment is not the cure here = prevention is. Also bear in mind that these marriages or at least a large majority of them are based on a lack of education and understanding of the detrimental effects on the offspring.

J, at least I know in Iran the genetic tests are mandatory if first cousins are going to get married and it is totally efficient. I know people who came up with negative results and they cancel the wedding or they decided not to have any kid.

Zubber, there cannot be genetic medicines, geneticists can only prevent. When people marry they come with their pool of ADN, between 1 st cousins marriages the ADN pools are not enough diversified, and their combination is degenerative. There will never be a prescription pill to correct that.
Also you make it sound like marriage between cousins only occurs in some remote villages. It is not. Again the ruling family in the UAE does it extensively, Sheikh Mohammed, his son Sheikh Hamdan and his uncle Sheik saeed married their 1 st cousins, and they had access to the best education but they don't want to learn. In Dubai if you look around 1 Emirati out of 2 married their cousins. 1out of 2 is enormous!!!! why would they change or listen to campaigns if their owns rulers don't. Do as I say, but don't say what I do, is already a general rule down there
In the end I could not care less, if their society like to produce degenerate babies, it is their country, not mine.

*science lesson ahead*

Mr. Herve - I would disagree to the fact that genetic medicine could not be formulated, the entire human genome is mapped but only 10% of it is understood. The errors are produced when the genetic material of the sperm combines with the genetic material of the egg. Its a lock and key model , When the relationships are close by blood then there is a problem with that model that causes the errors. The whole idea of genetic medicine (not only restricted to embryology) , is to make sure the keys fit into the locks. So if in the future for argument if brothers and sisters marry ( then there can be medical therapies that will prevent any if not all errors to be avoided) - To illustrate the power of genetic medicine I would like to draw your attention to the notion of "Designer Babies" and "Supermen" - I wont get into its details but there is a lot of information available on the internet regarding this. Hence if it did occur ( and it will until sun goes supernova and swallows up the earth) , then perhaps a cure might exist.

http://www.bionetonline.org/english/con ... _cont1.htm <- Designer babies, "Germ Line Therapy" is the science that will fix any if not all genetic disorders in a new fertilized embryo.

And you point about royalty literally marrying their brothers and sisters, Actually I used that to fortify my argument and I concur with you on this issue 100% .

And BTW I never raised this argument to defend any country, It was purely for the sake of discussion.