Pregnant And Unmarried...

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Pregnant and unmarried... Aug 26, 2010
Hi, I have just found out that I'm pregnant and unmarried... I am a white British expat female working in Dubai, living alone and financially secure with a good job which I enjoy. I am wondering if the rules are really so strict that I would be jailed if I give birth here? I visited a British doctor at the London clinic in Festival City and she told me that I can have all the pre-natal care here and then leave around 7 months pregnant to give birth abraod and then come back after the birth. She even said that some British unmarried women do give birth here and don't get arrested but it depends where and it could be risky... Getting married is not an option as baby's father has done a runner unfortunately. Has anyone been in this situation or given birth in UAE unmarried? Obviously, its a bit inconvenient to go back to UK for 3 months, but if I have to, I will...

JemimaK
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Re: Pregnant and unmarried... Aug 26, 2010
Book your ticket now. My understanding is that NO birth certificate would be issued unless the father is present as well as proof of marriage would have to be submitted. Since that is not possible for you, there is a good possibility that you would be reported to the authorities. No birth certificate, no passport. You would find yourself in a heap of red tape. If you go back to the UK and give birth there you will have the documents required in order to obtain a passport and sponsor the child.

Good luck to you. I hope that the "father" gets hit by a bus.
Bora Bora
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Re: Pregnant And Unmarried... Aug 26, 2010
I'm so sorry that your boyfriend abandoned you while pregnant - totally his loss! You've got a special little person soon appearing in your life, so at least that is something to look forward to! Good luck with everything. :)

I think what has been clear over the past year or so from reading the news in Dubai, is you really don't want to mess with the laws here and risk being one of the unlucky ones who gets arrested after giving birth. Frankly, it is a risk just being pregnant now, because if you are in a car accident or faint and end up taken to a hospital and the pregnancy is discovered, questions are asked and there is no husband appearing... you end up in jail or deported anyway. Really, it is best to plan your move home.
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Re: Pregnant and unmarried... Aug 27, 2010
JemimaK wrote:Hi, I have just found out that I'm pregnant and unmarried... I am a white British expat female working in Dubai, living alone and financially secure with a good job which I enjoy. I am wondering if the rules are really so strict that I would be jailed if I give birth here? I visited a British doctor at the London clinic in Festival City and she told me that I can have all the pre-natal care here and then leave around 7 months pregnant to give birth abraod and then come back after the birth. She even said that some British unmarried women do give birth here and don't get arrested but it depends where and it could be risky... Getting married is not an option as baby's father has done a runner unfortunately. Has anyone been in this situation or given birth in UAE unmarried? Obviously, its a bit inconvenient to go back to UK for 3 months, but if I have to, I will...

Whatever you're told about other unmarried mothers giving birth here without being arrested, assume that they are lucky exceptions, not the rule, and if you're unlucky then you wind up in jail, not with a small fine or similar.

You're really stuck I think, especially as you don't want to leave.

If you want to stay, then I think the only realistic option, assuming you want to keep the baby, is to find a way to get married to someone. I know of couples who have done this for one reason or another to avoid jail. It's not a great solution by any stretch, but your alternatives are either leave, or run a high risk of jail.

Er, well, there is one other option. Make friends with someone with enough wasta to override any arrest and jail issues. That, by the way, is the only explanation I can think of for those single mums who did give birth here. I still think that's risky though.

http://www.dubaifaqs.com/pregnant-in-dubai.php

And, er, you just found out you're unmarried :shock: ?
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Re: Pregnant and unmarried... Aug 29, 2010
Dear all,

Thanks for the advice, what I see is I definately need to leave the country at 7 months pregnant. I found a good doctor who will do all the pre-natal care and advise when I need to leave. I have not told my parents yet that they'll be having a house guest....

Although its tempting to enter into a marriage of convenience, I don't know any willing candidates and I don't want to tell too many people so that makes that tricky, but if anyone knows of anyone... !!
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Re: Pregnant and unmarried... Aug 29, 2010
:shock: :shock: :shock:

You cannot be serious :?:
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Re: Pregnant and unmarried... Aug 29, 2010
I know it's not for everyone but have you seriously considered having an abortion? You seem to be in a right mess when you have a good job and seem happy. Why spoil it by bringing a child into the world, who will never know it's father and is not planned. Children are hard enough to bring up when the father is on the scene.There is plenty of time to meet the right person and have a family together. As for a marriage of convenience, what are you thinking about? Marriage is a serious business and shouldn't be entered into lightly. If you are mentally strong enough, I would advise you to have an abortion, draw a line under this episode and move on. Do yourself a big favour and take care in the future. If you decide to go down your present course, I hope you don't take ill before you decide to leave the country. You are putting yourself through a lot of worry when this should be one of the happiest times of your life. Good luck which ever you decide, you will need it.
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Re: Pregnant and unmarried... Sep 01, 2010
It's a very tricky situation. As Bethsmum rightly says, I wouldn't even risk being pregnant and unmarried here at all in case something happens to you, it's a whole can of worms. Think very carefully about the decisions you're making. Marriage of convenience is not an option I would say and don't even consider it.
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Re: Pregnant And Unmarried... Sep 01, 2010
Sorry jemimak, that is just bad decision making all around. I hope you find your way.
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Re: Pregnant and unmarried... Sep 02, 2010
It's a tough decision no matter what.

Stay here until 7 months and go home for birth - risk of jail.
Abortion - possible moral issues and emotional consequences.
Marriage of convenience - possible moral issues, emotional, practical, legal consequences.
Have baby here as single mum - jail risk.

There's no easy solution. Do whatever minimises risk of jail, and what you can live with emotionally and morally. Sounds like you've made that decision already so good luck for the next 7 months (and after of course).
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Re: Pregnant And Unmarried... Sep 02, 2010
I'm curious bonk, if she returned to the UK to have the baby where is the risk of jail?

As for an abortion, possibly she considered it and ruled it out for personal reasons, otherwise she probably would have taken that option early on. Besides, that was unsolicited "advice" as jemimak clearly plans on having the baby and was trying to get the info/consequences if she were to have the baby here.

I hope all works out well for her and her baby.
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Re: Pregnant and unmarried... Sep 02, 2010
Britney, as you have obviously not been blessed in the baby department I should explain that there are many pitfalls that may occur before the seventh month that can lead to an emergency hospital admittance. It is then that questions would be asked that would result in the Police being called to the hospital. That's where the threat of jail comes in.
I see you refer to my post as unsolicited advice. Surely, if a person posts on an internet forum they are asking for advice or other peoples opinions on their situation. I did say my thoughts wouldn't suit everyone, and realise that you have to be a strong person emotionally to go through with an abortion. Nevertheless, I felt it was an option she should consider very carefully. I do feel that, as a mother, I am slightly more qualified to offer advice than someone, like yourself, who obviously has little experience of a family situation.
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Re: Pregnant and unmarried... Sep 02, 2010
Bethsmum wrote:Britney, as you have obviously not been blessed in the baby department I should explain that there are many pitfalls that may occur before the seventh month that can lead to an emergency hospital admittance. It is then that questions would be asked that would result in the Police being called to the hospital. That's where the threat of jail comes in.
I see you refer to my post as unsolicited advice. Surely, if a person posts on an internet forum they are asking for advice or other peoples opinions on their situation. I did say my thoughts wouldn't suit everyone, and realise that you have to be a strong person emotionally to go through with an abortion. Nevertheless, I felt it was an option she should consider very carefully. I do feel that, as a mother, I am slightly more qualified to offer advice than someone, like yourself, who obviously has little experience of a family situation.


Well Bethsbum, you don't know squat about me. You just make assumptions and in doing so you are the only one making an a$$ out of yourself. Further, my post was directed to bonk, who actually knows way more than you do about Dubai. Stick to what you do know, which apparently isn't very much. Your "advice" regarding an abortion was not relative. Common sense dictates that when reading her post, she was planning on having the baby. As I said earlier, it's very possible that it was something that she considered, but for her own personal reasons, chose to take another path.

I made a statement - I wasn't "attacking" you, something that you seem to do on a constant basis. I'm starting to get the feeling that I'm being stalked by more than one troll. You seem to have this need to mention how much of an adult you are - well it would be nice to see you start acting like one. This is a forum, not a sandbox.

You clearly have a high opinion of yourself. If that is what it takes for you to feel "important" then please, keep thinking it.
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Re: Pregnant and unmarried... Sep 02, 2010
Britney, who mentioned 'attack'? I have never mentioned attack, which seems to be a word that creeps into your posts with alarming regularity, The reason that I assumed you had no children was that you kindly pointed out in a previous post that I was obviously intellectually challenged by having 3 children and that I probably spent the whole day on expatwoman discussing baby poo, which is when you made the first assumptions that you now accuse me of. These are the words of a desperate woman longing to have a child. I do feel sorry for you, being in this position. and hope you meet the right person soon and are lucky enough to have a large and happy family.
You are quite right when you say that I know nothing about you, and to be perfectly frank, the little I do know about you, leads me to believe I definately wouldn't want to know you better.
Now to my next point, exactly how do you know that Bonk knows more about Dubai than i? You have no idea who I am, nor to whom I'm married. I think you may be totally surprised about what I do know, actually.
And now my final point, there you go again with the stalking thing. Please do remember that it was I who first mentioned this when you were so fasinated by my appearance here, or appeared to be, by monitoring my posts and reposting them on other threads that I wondered if I had gained a stalker? Why, your friend, what's her face, even commented that it was the first time you had been called a stalker! Please do stop copying me, you are just making a complete t*t of yourself and it's so unattractive.
Oh and yes, you are quite right when you say I do have a high opinion of myself. I have an extremely high opinion actually. In my experience if you don't rate yourself, how can you expect others to?
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Re: Pregnant And Unmarried... Sep 02, 2010
Bora Bora wrote:I'm curious bonk, if she returned to the UK to have the baby where is the risk of jail?

As for an abortion, possibly she considered it and ruled it out for personal reasons, otherwise she probably would have taken that option early on. Besides, that was unsolicited "advice" as jemimak clearly plans on having the baby and was trying to get the info/consequences if she were to have the baby here.

I hope all works out well for her and her baby.

I wasn't meaning there was jail risk in the UK, but jail risk in Dubai if her pregnancy came to the attention of the authorities. I'm not entirely sure what the crime is - being pregnant, having sex, giving birth out of wedlock, or a combination - but I would prefer not to be under investigation in the first place. I have heard that some hospitals report unmarried pregnant women to the police but I don't know how valid that is - might be more likely in Sharjah for example.

There was a case last year I think where a pregnant lady had a car accident which resulted in the death of her unborn child. She was blamed for the car accident and convicted of something like manslaughter or murder of the unborn child - I can't remember exactly the logic the prosecution and the judge used to arrive at that result. I don't bring that up to start another discussion (I'm sure there must be a topic here somewhere anyway) but to say that had she been unmarried, I expect another book or two would have been thrown at her. The police, the law, and the judical process in the UAE seem place great importance on some issues at the cost of others - women being convicted of unmarried sex as a result of rape, while the rape is ignored or treated more leniently for example.

I referred to abortion because it was brought up by someone else. I didn't refer to it in my first post because I gathered from the tone of the OP that abortion was not a consideration for her. I'm pretty sure anyone with an unexpected/unwanted pregnancy has either considered abortion or does consider it. Most people have fairly strong views on it and I doubt very much anyone who is pregnant is going to say "oh gosh, I hadn't thought of that" if someone were to suggest abortion as an option.

My point was if the choice is marriage of convenience vs abortion, then it's a difficult choice no matter what. Both have moral and emotional issues associated with them. I don't think it does the OP any good for me or anyone else to say one is right and the other is wrong. In the end she has to live with her choice, not anyone else posting here, so she has to chose what she thinks is best. Anyway, I think the OP is looking for help, not judgement.

As for me knowing lots about Dubai, thanks for the vote of confidence :). I find the more I learn, the more I learn I don't know though :oops: ...
bonk
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Re: Pregnant And Unmarried... Sep 02, 2010
You have always been there with the right answers. And glad to see you were able to read the OP's situation as I did. Thanks.
Bora Bora
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Re: Pregnant and unmarried... Sep 02, 2010
oh a mutual appreciation society! That's special! Go for it Britney, you've got a friend! :bounce:
Bethsmum
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Re: Pregnant and unmarried... Sep 03, 2010
Bethsmum wrote:oh a mutual appreciation society! That's special! Go for it Britney, you've got a friend! :bounce:


Well you have your friends as well Bethsbum. And you are so suited for each other. I'm waiting for a post from you where you actually contribute something of substance. Haven't seen one yet. Oh, and showing your s.e.x.ual frustation on a forum is not very pretty. Your innuendos and foul language are not very becoming.
Bora Bora
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Re: Pregnant and unmarried... Sep 03, 2010
Oh Britney, my s.e.x.u.a.l frustrations! LOL did someone have to spell that out for you? Bethsbum oh how amusing, I prefer Bowel Movement if you don't mind. Stick with your first attempt, I say. Keep up the good work Britney :bounce:
Bethsmum
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Re: Pregnant and unmarried... Sep 04, 2010
ANYWAY - back to the oroginal topic! Seeing as the OP only just found out that she is pregnant, obviously doesn't mean that she is that far along so maybe termination is still an option but one she just hasn't considered - who are we to make a snap judgement on that.

Personally it's all too risky, and if she's going to have the child, then I would leave no doubt about it. It's just not worth taking the risk.
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Re: Pregnant And Unmarried... Sep 11, 2010
lol you three should be a in mud bath :D
rudeboy
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Re: Pregnant and unmarried... Sep 11, 2010
Rudeboy should know that if BM chooses to bathe with another it is always male. :bounce:
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Re: Pregnant And Unmarried... Nov 10, 2014
message me at november.rain0230@gmail.com I have an extra kit if anyone would like to buy
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