Just a little guide for those who maybe new or unsure about the signals implied by the use of that essential piece of Dubai culture: The car horn!
Anyone new to Dubai, particularly from Europe, but probably not Italy, may notice an excessive use of the car horn in this glittering dusty metropolis. In fact this tool is used for a wide range of communication messages. Here are a few you may notice.
The ‘I am available’ beep. Often used by taxi drivers cruising the streets in built up residential areas at night. Singles or groups seen walking will be alerted to the availability of either a registered, or unregistered, taxi with a fairly unsubtle beep. Not to be mistaken for the ‘Are you available’ beep usually directed at single female pedestrians from a blacked out 4x4 or BMW and followed up with a wound down window and a cheery greeting of ‘How much?’ Occasionally directed at single Philippino boys.
The ‘Time to work’ beep. Used at anti-social hours of the morning in sleepy residential areas by mini bus drivers to hail the 15 Asian workers who are about to pile into the 12 seater bus and be hustled to the coal face. Invariably used repeatedly if the workers don’t show up within 10 seconds of arrival outside the squalid converted 40 year old villa in Satwa with 20 satellite dishes on the roof, a single rattling, dripping wall AC unit and an electrical supply hooked up to the street lighting.
The ‘Back to School’ beep. Compulsorily used by custard yellow buses of all shapes and sizes at 6.30am in streets where happy families are still trying to sleep. Even if the lucky kids to be collected live in neighbouring houses, the driver will invariably move the 20 metres up the road and repeat his sonabulation despite the poor little tyke already having being pushed bleary eyed, complete with pink Freej backpack, out of the ornate gate by the maid.
The ‘Dubai Nano-Second’ beep. The most commonly used and most irritating to Europeans. The Dubai Nano-Second is the time between the traffic lights turning green and the guy in the car behind sounding his horn to get you to move faster. This despite the fact that you are in a car that will do 0-120 in less than 5 seconds…and he is in a Toyota Echo that could only out accelerate you if it was driven off a cliff. Its great fun to sometimes slam your brakes on, get out of the car and pretend to examine the back of your vehicle whilst holding up the perpetrator and all the entire queue. Then look at him and shrug as if to ask ‘What’? Then get back in, ignoring the vast chorus of horns you will have generated, and drive off just as the lights turn to red, forcing him to wait for a further cycle of the lights.
The ‘I want to get through’ beep. This is an insistent leaning on the horn when there is an obstruction in the highway and the driver is merely indicating that he wishes to get through and continue his journey. Unfortunately it is normally used by the twitching Lebanese guy 15 cars back in the queue at the scene of a traffic accident where there are bodies scattered all over the carriageway. He will weave back and forth looking for an opening where he can squeeze through in order to progress further up the queue, continually sounding his horn trying to get people to move out of his way where there is no room and gesticulating wildly with the free hand that is not holding the Blackberry to his ear when his passage is blocked.
The ‘Bring Me…’ beep. Generally used outside food establishments or small grocery stores by 4x4 drivers with blacked out windows and pictures of a sheikh holding a falcon in the back window. It is a signal for a boy to come scurrying from the store to take a perfunctory 2 dirham order for ‘Cheeps’ and a ‘Bepsi’. It could also mean ‘Bring me shwarma jaldi jaldi!’.
The ‘WTF beep’. Normally directed at another road user who has just executed an unexplainable, unexpected or downright stupid maneuver. This is very common. Invariably the person at who it is aimed will either look dumbly at the beeper as they seem not to be able to understand why there is a problem. Or it will simply be ignored as the driver is too occupied attempting to reverse back up the carriageway of Sheikh Zayed Road because he missed the exit to McDonalds.
The ‘Don’t pull out’ beep. Sometimes used by truck drivers when you are attempting to enter a busy stream of traffic. This is aimed at you simply because the truck bearing down on you at 50kmph is severely overloaded, is running on bald tyres and has no brakes. One to heed.
Lets be careful out there!
Knight
