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A brave Saudi woman! Isn't she????

TJ


"My Four Husbands and I:" Saudi Journalist Argues Women Should Have Right to Practice Polygamy Like Men!!

The headline "My Four Husbands and I" would give any reader a moments pause. In an Egyptian paper? A moment's pause, condemnation, and fury (and just a little bit of praise from a select few).

Such was the response to Saudi journalist Nadine Bedair's controversial article published in the Egyptian independent daily Al Masry Al Youm that argues women, like men, should have the right practice polygamy.

If Muslim men are entitled to marry up to four wives, why can't women have four husbands? Bedair dares to ask.

"I have long questioned why it is men have a monopoly on this right. No one has been able to explain to me convincingly why it is I'm deprived of the right to polyandry," says Bedair.

If Bedair had it her way she would, "... choose four, five or even nine men, just as my wildest imagination shall choose. I’ll pick them with different shapes and sizes, one of them will be dark and the other will be blond. ... They will be chosen from different backgrounds, religions, races and nations."

To those who say men have greater sexual appetites or that women cannot handle more than one man she counters, "I say that women who cheat on their husbands and the 'sellers of love' [i.e. prostitutes] do much more."

For those who stay faithful in their marriages she argues it is at a high cost. "In fact, she [a wife] might have not felt one ounce of pleasure since the very first night of this arranged marriage. But traditions and the clerics force her to stay at home and shut up."
Bedair ends her article with a powerful punch - If women cannot be afforded the same right as men in marriages to take multiple spouses then the "map of marriage" should be redrawn completely.

As you can imagine Bedair's comments have come under fire by many conservative Muslims who claim the article is inflammatory, sexually provocative, and anti-Islamic. A Muslim authority in Egypt, Sheikh Mohamed Gama’i, lashed out at Bedair saying that she "ought to be stopped" and that "no woman has the right to attack our traditions in this manner." An Egyptian member of parliament has even filed a lawsuit against the newspaper that ran Bedair's article.


On the other hand, some have taken Bedair's piece as a criticism of the practice of polygamy and believe it was written to highlight how poorly some women are treated by their husbands when they take on additional wives.

Saudi blogger Ahmed Al-Omran of the popular blog Saudi Jeans is one of these people:
"People who attacked Nadine [Bedair] missed the point entirely...She was just trying to criticize polygamy by putting men in the shoes of women who accept to be part of such marriages. ... I think one of the good outcomes of Nadine's article is that it has rekindled the debate on women's issues in the country, especially those concerning how judges, and the legal system in general, treat women," he told the LA Times in an e-mail conversation.

Well, what do you think? Did Bedair write the article to help women gain the right to practice polygamy or were her intentions to highlight women's rights issues among Muslim women?

Either way I think Bedair deserves a round of applause for challenging such a traditional Muslim male privilege and demanding that women be treated equally and fairly in such a public way. She has definitely sparked a long overdue discussion – one that would not exist had Bedair not braved the pen.

http://www.care2.com/causes/womens-righ ... -like-men/

It is not Islamic. Not happening.

she, of course, has a point on having multiple spouses by men.

can someone please point words from quran or hadeeth, which say only men can have multiple spouses. (it's a genuine request)

tx.

b b b b b b-but people keep saying women and men are equal in islam

Women should be able to disicpline there husbands as well.

mehreen wrote:It is not Islamic. Not happening.

Of course that won't happen..... esp. in Saudi.

But is it a fair question to be asked by women or not?? In societies where men can legally marry four wives??

I heard it is even worse (for women) in Iran, where a man can lawfully marry a woman on a pre-agreed temporary basis: for only 1 hour or 2, or for a day or two, or for a week or two..........etc!!!

the only objection I have is that that ways there be more of them.

The intention of the article is to obtain equal rights for women.

If a man can do this behaviour, then a woman should too right?
So if a woman with 4 men seems morally unjust, than a man with 4 women is also morally unjust. Hypocrisy!

Freedom of choice is the underlying message.

The whole concept of multiple wives in the first place was for one purpose: procreation. The purpose being: spreading Islam.

Well it's time for spreading Islam through multiple marriages to stop - it's long over due. It only exists in Muslim countries, but the purpose for doing so has become so distorted. You no longer see the large families - like 9 kids to a family (1st wife) - then the other wives with their children - it all adds up to extended families through multiple marriages.

As the author of the article bascially said, she would have a different "flavor" for each day of the week. Don't we see that here?? First wife local, and all future wives get younger: second wife white, blond and blue eyes, third wife possibly Egyptian, fourth wife local (the "baby" of the group). Or, first wife European (Western), they actually get divorced, second wife local, third wife Philipino or Ukranian (or Russian), fourth wife local, and since he divorced his first wife, there is now a slot open for one more!!!! You know what I mean. And they aren't procreating to the point of having children running into double digits.

On the other hand, would that mean that an 80 year old woman could marry a 12 year old boy? YUCK!!!!!

just to add some info to the discussion :

no one has the right to or can change a religious law, those are holy books and a god words but you can always look at it from diff prospective before you can come up with a conclusion to your self at least.

But the concept of a multiple marriage at the old days is I recall was to protect the widows mostly after their husbands dies in a war to take care of them and their kids plus the female orphan which was justified reason I would say bcz of the tuff life at the time. So it was not about being equal or a sex pleasure. and the quraan stated that the man should make sure that he will be able to support them and treat them equally before marrying the other one.and if a woman fine him incapable of doing so, she had and have the right to divorce him.

Some modern Islamic researches try to look at god reason to allow such a social statues compared to the modern world and here are some of them :


In the latest official statistics of the population in the United States show that the number of females is greater than the number of men by more than eight million women .. In Britain, an increase of five million women, and in Germany the proportion of women to men is 3: 1 which will lead as they claim to more single women and will cause some social disturbing issues in a society from prostitution to basterd babies and the issue of a single woman feelings and sexuality not being fulfilled all of these issues does create future physiological and care issues to those involve.

uaekid wrote:just to add some info to the discussion :

no one has the right to or can change a religious law, those are holy books and a god words but you can always look at it from diff prospective before you can come up with a conclusion to your self at least.

But the concept of a multiple marriage at the old days is I recall was to protect the widows mostly after their husbands dies in a war to take care of them and their kids plus the female orphan which was justified reason I would say bcz of the tuff life at the time. So it was not about being equal or a love pleasure. and the quraan stated that the man should make sure that he will be able to support them and treat them equally before marrying the other one.and if a woman fine him incapable of doing so, she had and have the right to divorce him.

Some modern Islamic researches try to look at god reason to allow such a social statues compared to the modern world and here are some of them :


In the latest official statistics of the population in the United States show that the number of females is greater than the number of men by more than eight million women .. In Britain, an increase of five million women, and in Germany the proportion of women to men is 3: 1 which will lead as they claim to more single women and will cause some social disturbing issues in a society from prostitution to basterd babies and the issue of a single woman feelings and sexuality not being fulfilled all of these issues does create future physiological and care issues to those involve.

What a load of crap Kid. What school did you attend?

Religious laws my 'rear-end'. They mean nothing to me. Just a load of self-perpetuating jibberish.

Its time for you people to step into the modern day world, instead of 7th Century practices. Get real!

Bora Bora wrote:The whole concept of multiple wives in the first place was for one purpose: procreation. The purpose being: spreading Islam.

Well it's time for spreading Islam through multiple marriages to stop - it's long over due. It only exists in Muslim countries, but the purpose for doing so has become so distorted. You no longer see the large families - like 9 kids to a family (1st wife) - then the other wives with their children - it all adds up to extended families through multiple marriages.

As the author of the article bascially said, she would have a different "flavor" for each day of the week. Don't we see that here?? First wife local, and all future wives get younger: second wife white, blond and blue eyes, third wife possibly Egyptian, fourth wife local (the "baby" of the group). Or, first wife European (Western), they actually get divorced, second wife local, third wife Philipino or Ukranian (or Russian), fourth wife local, and since he divorced his first wife, there is now a slot open for one more!!!! You know what I mean. And they aren't procreating to the point of having children running into double digits.

On the other hand, would that mean that an 80 year old woman could marry a 12 year old boy? YUCK!!!!!

A knowledgeable Muslim friend has once told me that the Quran allows a married man to marry another woman only if she is a widow with children. There is a specific verse in the Quran that clearly states this condition. The verse also states that the man must treat his wives equally.

The permission was not really for procreation or multiplying, and was probably only valid during times of war and Jihad!

The idea was to encourage men to raise and look after orphans, whose numbers were increasing during the early conquests of Islam.

But now we know that Muslim men marry more than wife primarily for SE*X, pure and simple!

The explicit stipulation stated in the Quran has clearly been twisted by men to suit their desires!!

Correct me Shafique if I am wrong!!

Sage: Please don’t be too quick to send this to Religon. The discussion is starting to get interesting!!

In the latest official statistics of the population in the United States show that the number of females is greater than the number of men by more than eight million women .. In Britain, an increase of five million women, and in Germany the proportion of women to men is 3: 1 which will lead as they claim to more single women and will cause some social disturbing issues in a society from prostitution to basterd babies and the issue of a single woman feelings and sexuality not being fulfilled all of these issues does create future physiological and care issues to those involve

Ohh such a toughtfull religion! so it was a rule for making balance?! nice??? so if in any country number of men were less than women, we can chage the rule! amaziing! so is there gonna be a new miracle in the holy book? it will change and say ok, in this country it is allowed for women to have more than one spouses! (not like women are really interested in!!!)

DEAR kid, have u ever heard of Tibet, which is legal for women to have many spouses?

A knowledgeable Muslim friend has once told me that the Quran allows a married man to marry another woman only if she is a widow with children. There is a specific verse in the Quran that clearly states this condition. The verse also states that the man must treat his wives equally.

The permission was not really for procreation or multiplying, and was probably only valid during times of war and Jihad!

The idea was to encourage men to raise and look after orphans, whose numbers were increasing during the early conquests of Islam.

But now we know that Muslim men marry more than wife primarily for SE*X, pure and simple!

The explicit stipulation stated in the Quran has clearly been twisted by men to suit their desires!!

Correct me Shafique if I am wrong!!

Sage: Please don’t be too quick to send this to Religon. The discussion is starting to get interesting!!

Altough u asked shaf, I can answer u, ur source was wrong! It is allowed in Quran for men to have four wivesin the same time, as far as he can treat all of the equally and with justice. there is no age limit for brides,no circumstances like they should be widowed with kids, and no restrictions that it could happen only in war time.

Besides, In Iran (which is the majority part of Shia muslims) temporary marriages are allowed. Men can have 100000000000000000 temporary wives in the same time. It can be for 30 minutes, or 1 week or 99 years. Any time you wish, religion is at ur service!!!

RobbyG wrote:

uaekid wrote:just to add some info to the discussion :

no one has the right to or can change a religious law, those are holy books and a god words but you can always look at it from diff prospective before you can come up with a conclusion to your self at least.

But the concept of a multiple marriage at the old days is I recall was to protect the widows mostly after their husbands dies in a war to take care of them and their kids plus the female orphan which was justified reason I would say bcz of the tuff life at the time. So it was not about being equal or a love pleasure. and the quraan stated that the man should make sure that he will be able to support them and treat them equally before marrying the other one.and if a woman fine him incapable of doing so, she had and have the right to divorce him.

Some modern Islamic researches try to look at god reason to allow such a social statues compared to the modern world and here are some of them :


In the latest official statistics of the population in the United States show that the number of females is greater than the number of men by more than eight million women .. In Britain, an increase of five million women, and in Germany the proportion of women to men is 3: 1 which will lead as they claim to more single women and will cause some social disturbing issues in a society from prostitution to basterd babies and the issue of a single woman feelings and sexuality not being fulfilled all of these issues does create future physiological and care issues to those involve.

What a load of crap Kid. What school did you attend?

Religious laws my 'rear-end'. They mean nothing to me. Just a load of self-perpetuating jibberish.

Its time for you people to step into the modern day world, instead of 7th Century practices. Get real!

as you can see this not my opinion robbyg this is how it was originally and you can direct you "this is crap" to the ppl who are doing those studies". but you can do some productive discussion and debate if those researchers are right in what they claim ! can you do this for one ? no really can you ?

melika969 wrote:

In the latest official statistics of the population in the United States show that the number of females is greater than the number of men by more than eight million women .. In Britain, an increase of five million women, and in Germany the proportion of women to men is 3: 1 which will lead as they claim to more single women and will cause some social disturbing issues in a society from prostitution to basterd babies and the issue of a single woman feelings and sexuality not being fulfilled all of these issues does create future physiological and care issues to those involve

Ohh such a toughtfull religion! so it was a rule for making balance?! nice??? so if in any country number of men were less than women, we can chage the rule! amaziing! so is there gonna be a new miracle in the holy book? it will change and say ok, in this country it is allowed for women to have more than one spouses! (not like women are really interested in!!!)

DEAR kid, have u ever heard of Tibet, which is legal for women to have many spouses?

did you hear that god works in a mysterious way ?

Tom Jones wrote:

Bora Bora wrote:The whole concept of multiple wives in the first place was for one purpose: procreation. The purpose being: spreading Islam.

Well it's time for spreading Islam through multiple marriages to stop - it's long over due. It only exists in Muslim countries, but the purpose for doing so has become so distorted. You no longer see the large families - like 9 kids to a family (1st wife) - then the other wives with their children - it all adds up to extended families through multiple marriages.

As the author of the article bascially said, she would have a different "flavor" for each day of the week. Don't we see that here?? First wife local, and all future wives get younger: second wife white, blond and blue eyes, third wife possibly Egyptian, fourth wife local (the "baby" of the group). Or, first wife European (Western), they actually get divorced, second wife local, third wife Philipino or Ukranian (or Russian), fourth wife local, and since he divorced his first wife, there is now a slot open for one more!!!! You know what I mean. And they aren't procreating to the point of having children running into double digits.

On the other hand, would that mean that an 80 year old woman could marry a 12 year old boy? YUCK!!!!!

A knowledgeable Muslim friend has once told me that the Quran allows a married man to marry another woman only if she is a widow with children. There is a specific verse in the Quran that clearly states this condition. The verse also states that the man must treat his wives equally.

The permission was not really for procreation or multiplying, and was probably only valid during times of war and Jihad!

The idea was to encourage men to raise and look after orphans, whose numbers were increasing during the early conquests of Islam.

But now we know that Muslim men marry more than wife primarily for SE*X, pure and simple!

The explicit stipulation stated in the Quran has clearly been twisted by men to suit their desires!!

Correct me Shafique if I am wrong!!

Sage: Please don’t be too quick to send this to Religon. The discussion is starting to get interesting!!

yes and as I can see some ppl have misused this law to their sexual and glory benefits .

Polyandry is not allowed in Islam - God says in the Quran that men can marry up to four wives - but women are not allowed in Islam to have two (or more) husbands.

God does not explicitly state why women aren't allowed multiple husbands.

Nor does God give explicit reasons why men are allowed to marry up to 4 wives - God just limits the number of wives to four and sets a pretty strict condition for men who are contemplating polygamy - in that God says the man should treat all the wives the same. God says that if he cannot do this, he should only marry one wife - and then gives a strong indication that men cannot treat wives the same! See chapter 4 - 'Women' of the Quran.

A lot of articles have been written on polygamy and Islam's take on this - so no need for me to repeat them here - a quick Google will throw up a wealth of articles.

As for polyandry, God doesn't allow it. Some scholars have tried to explain this - from questions over paternity, to practical issues about who is the head of the household, who is responsible for the finances etc - and also whether women really do want to live with multiple husbands. We can speculate as to the reasons - but as far as Islam is concerned it is not allowed.

Islam does differentiate between men and women - but only in matters which have a direct bearing on the physical differences. Women aren't allowed to box against men competitively - or to compete directly with men in athletics etc - precisely because of physical differences.

Also remember that Islam does give women the right to divorce if a husband proves deficient in any department, so there is that recourse (instead of polyandry, a woman can divorce and remarry).

Cheers,
Shafique

melika969 wrote:

A knowledgeable Muslim friend has once told me that the Quran allows a married man to marry another woman only if she is a widow with children. There is a specific verse in the Quran that clearly states this condition. The verse also states that the man must treat his wives equally.

The permission was not really for procreation or multiplying, and was probably only valid during times of war and Jihad!

The idea was to encourage men to raise and look after orphans, whose numbers were increasing during the early conquests of Islam.

But now we know that Muslim men marry more than wife primarily for SE*X, pure and simple!

The explicit stipulation stated in the Quran has clearly been twisted by men to suit their desires!!

Correct me Shafique if I am wrong!!

Sage: Please don’t be too quick to send this to Religon. The discussion is starting to get interesting!!

Altough u asked shaf, I can answer u, ur source was wrong! It is allowed in Quran for men to have four wivesin the same time, as far as he can treat all of the equally and with justice. there is no age limit for brides,no circumstances like they should be widowed with kids, and no restrictions that it could happen only in war time.

Besides, In Iran (which is the majority part of Shia muslims) temporary marriages are allowed. Men can have 100000000000000000 temporary wives in the same time. It can be for 30 minutes, or 1 week or 99 years. Any time you wish, religion is at ur service!!!

100000000000000000000 women at the same time!!!

Yahoooooooooo!!!!! I’m moving to Iran tomorrow!!

Just kidding!

Are you sure, Melika, about what you said re. the Quran. I think the Quran only allowed the Prophet to have multiple wives, but the others, only up to 4 wives each time, and they have to be widows with children.

I’ll check on that further!!!

uaekid wrote:

RobbyG wrote:
What a load of crap Kid. What school did you attend?

Religious laws my 'rear-end'. They mean nothing to me. Just a load of self-perpetuating jibberish.

Its time for you people to step into the modern day world, instead of 7th Century practices. Get real!

as you can see this not my opinion robbyg this is how it was originally and you can direct you "this is crap" to the ppl who are doing those studies". but you can do some productive discussion and debate if those researchers are right in what they claim ! can you do this for one ? no really can you ?

Comprende?

shafique wrote:Polyandry is not allowed in Islam - God says in the Quran that men can marry up to four wives - but women are not allowed in Islam to have two (or more) husbands.

God does not explicitly state why women aren't allowed multiple husbands.

Nor does God give explicit reasons why men are allowed to marry up to 4 wives - God just limits the number of wives to four and sets a pretty strict condition for men who are contemplating polygamy - in that God says the man should treat all the wives the same. God says that if he cannot do this, he should only marry one wife - and then gives a strong indication that men cannot treat wives the same! See chapter 4 - 'Women' of the Quran.

A lot of articles have been written on polygamy and Islam's take on this - so no need for me to repeat them here - a quick Google will throw up a wealth of articles.

As for polyandry, God doesn't allow it. Some scholars have tried to explain this - from questions over paternity, to practical issues about who is the head of the household, who is responsible for the finances etc - and also whether women really do want to live with multiple husbands. We can speculate as to the reasons - but as far as Islam is concerned it is not allowed.

Islam does differentiate between men and women - but only in matters which have a direct bearing on the physical differences. Women aren't allowed to box against men competitively - or to compete directly with men in athletics etc - precisely because of physical differences.

Also remember that Islam does give women the right to divorce if a husband proves deficient in any department, so there is that recourse (instead of polyandry, a woman can divorce and remarry).

Cheers,
Shafique

Thanks Shafique for the informative post. But you did not mention anything about the Quranic verse that specifically limits polygamy (to widows with orphaned children).

Thanks Shafique for the informative post. But you did not mention anything about the Quranic verse that specifically limits polygamy (to widows with orphaned children).

No he can’t bring such verse! Because it does not exist! I told u there is no restriction!

Also remember that Islam does give women the right to divorce if a husband proves deficient in any department, so there is that recourse (instead of polyandry, a woman can divorce and remarry).

It s not easy to prove the deficient! When it mixes with country rules, it’s quite impossible.I have seen so many cases.

100000000000000000000 women at the same time!!!

Yes! In Shia there is no limit for the temporary marriages, and it can last from 15 minutes to 99 years, any time period u wish!

She is an idiot

catalyst wrote:She is an idiot

And you are ignorant. Show some restraint, at least that is if you follow the book of Islam.

Whatever that woman had in mind with the article, hats down in front of her.

I have this friend. Arab from one of those countries where multiple wives are allowed by law. I recall approx 2 years ago when he suddenly announce he was going to get married. We were socializing a lot and never before he mentioned about any interest towards any particular girl. So my jaw dropped and I asked where was he hiding her all that time. Turned out he was not. Mom picked out a girl and that was it. What really surprised me was how comfortable he was with that. Ok fine. Couple of weeks later he tells me wedding is off because they did the medical tests and they were found incompatible. And he was just as fine with that, only to tell me another few weeks later that the new wedding was set with a girl he actually has met at work place or school before. All these arrangements took place in a matter of a few months.

So he gets married and soon gives us the good news that they are expecting. The wife still pregnant when at one point he tells me he’ll get a second one…he later rectifies that this will happen only when he’ll be financially stable and all, but still. Your wife is expecting and you have thoughts of getting a new woman?
Besides being a good friend and nice person, he seems to care about his wife and from the way he talks about her and them, he surely looks after her well being and happiness. But I fail to see how he can be committed to her (except the commitment forced on by the institution of marriage) or how he will be committed to any of the wives he will have if he sees this kind of set up as normal. And when I say normal, I’m not talking about the definition of normality imposed by any given society or moral code. I’m talking about the concept that people should commit for a marriage if their relation is based on exclusivity. Whether this feeling of commitment will change later on or not, is not the point here.
The point is, when you sign that paper, you should have at least the intention of signing up for that partnership for life. But what kind of commitment can any woman expect when they know their husband will most likely get only half way involved, waiting for the time they can feel excited about a new warm body ? if you put all your energy and attention in one relation, you don’t have time to plan for other parallel ones.

And the hypocrisy kicks in when you ask these men what would happen if they knew the wife has another man? They go ballistic. Going back to that Saudi lady, even if you interpret her article ad literam, its still justified. If men can, why women could not?

By the way, though not in favor of any form of polygamy, matriarchal societies were a lot healthier that patriarchal ones. When men took over, wars started…just saying

There is no need to be Muslim to know what is good or bad , what is right or wrong . Just follow the right simple logic . How can any woman have multiple husbands at the same time ? where we live ? In a jungle

catalyst wrote:There is no need to be Muslim to know what is good or bad , what is right or wrong . Just follow the right simple logic . How can any woman have multiple husbands at the same time ? where we live ? In a jungle

there are plenty of women who can provide much better than men. on one hand. and secondly you start off from the assumption that a woman is not fit for a head of the house role because of her gender? education of women was, and in many countries is still held back by the need for control of men. allow your women to get proper education and you'll find them just as capable if not more than men, instead of saying they can't study or get involved in decision makings because they lack the judgement.

I feel sorry for all those men who use their gender as an excuse. it only shows their weakness

raidah wrote:

catalyst wrote:There is no need to be Muslim to know what is good or bad , what is right or wrong . Just follow the right simple logic . How can any woman have multiple husbands at the same time ? where we live ? In a jungle

there are plenty of women who can provide much better than men. on one hand. and secondly you start off from the assumption that a woman is not fit for a head of the house role because of her gender? education of women was, and in many countries is still held back by the need for control of men. allow your women to get proper education and you'll find them just as capable if not more than men, instead of saying they can't study or get involved in decision makings because they lack the judgement.

I feel sorry for all those men who use their gender as an excuse. it only shows their weakness

I think you made a mistake by quoting me because your words are entirely irrevelant ! I did Not make assumption that a woman is not fit for a head of the house role because of her gender , I even did NOT mention this topic ..

raidah wrote:Whatever that woman had in mind with the article, hats down in front of her.

I have this friend. Arab from one of those countries where multiple wives are allowed by law. I recall approx 2 years ago when he suddenly announce he was going to get married. We were socializing a lot and never before he mentioned about any interest towards any particular girl. So my jaw dropped and I asked where was he hiding her all that time. Turned out he was not. Mom picked out a girl and that was it. What really surprised me was how comfortable he was with that. Ok fine. Couple of weeks later he tells me wedding is off because they did the medical tests and they were found incompatible. And he was just as fine with that, only to tell me another few weeks later that the new wedding was set with a girl he actually has met at work place or school before. All these arrangements took place in a matter of a few months.

So he gets married and soon gives us the good news that they are expecting. The wife still pregnant when at one point he tells me he’ll get a second one…he later rectifies that this will happen only when he’ll be financially stable and all, but still. Your wife is expecting and you have thoughts of getting a new woman?
Besides being a good friend and nice person, he seems to care about his wife and from the way he talks about her and them, he surely looks after her well being and happiness. But I fail to see how he can be committed to her (except the commitment forced on by the institution of marriage) or how he will be committed to any of the wives he will have if he sees this kind of set up as normal. And when I say normal, I’m not talking about the definition of normality imposed by any given society or moral code. I’m talking about the concept that people should commit for a marriage if their relation is based on exclusivity. Whether this feeling of commitment will change later on or not, is not the point here.
The point is, when you sign that paper, you should have at least the intention of signing up for that partnership for life. But what kind of commitment can any woman expect when they know their husband will most likely get only half way involved, waiting for the time they can feel excited about a new warm body ? if you put all your energy and attention in one relation, you don’t have time to plan for other parallel ones.

And the hypocrisy kicks in when you ask these men what would happen if they knew the wife has another man? They go ballistic. Going back to that Saudi lady, even if you interpret her article ad literam, its still justified. If men can, why women could not?

By the way, though not in favor of any form of polygamy, matriarchal societies were a lot healthier that patriarchal ones. When men took over, wars started…just saying

Hi Raidah, makes alot of sense.
I would actually agree with a Cleopatra as long as she shows a warm and gentle character. Errr, you didn't make it to the Idols final, step down hon

So basically the ladies should understand that if they want some true and passionate luv, find a full (modern) package and not an egocentric (7th century) preconstrued marriage.

Lets bring some dignity back to the Arab world.

catalyst wrote:

raidah wrote:

catalyst wrote:There is no need to be Muslim to know what is good or bad , what is right or wrong . Just follow the right simple logic . How can any woman have multiple husbands at the same time ? where we live ? In a jungle

there are plenty of women who can provide much better than men. on one hand. and secondly you start off from the assumption that a woman is not fit for a head of the house role because of her gender? education of women was, and in many countries is still held back by the need for control of men. allow your women to get proper education and you'll find them just as capable if not more than men, instead of saying they can't study or get involved in decision makings because they lack the judgement.

I feel sorry for all those men who use their gender as an excuse. it only shows their weakness

I think you made a mistake by quoting me because your words are entirely irrevelant ! I did Not make assumption that a woman is not fit for a head of the house role because of her gender , I even did NOT mention this topic ..

you are right, i did jump the gun. so why don't you explain what you meant with "How can any woman have multiple husbands at the same time ? where we live ? In a jungle "

Multiple husbands, multiple wives. Come on....when will this be resolved?

Yes in Islam there is a license to marry more than one woman but it is strongly discouraged in the Quran with reference to God's own prophecy that a man cannot be equally fair to more than one woman. There were reasons for polygamy in the beginnings of Islam and they were strong and practical reasons. Those reasons do not really exist anymore. Maybe nowadays, one in every 10 thousand men falls in a situation where it is both practical and favorable for both him and and his wife for him to take another woman without having to divorce his first wife. Possibly that is a time when the use of this restricted license may help a family survive??? Maybe?? I don't know about anyone else but I can probably see that.

However, it sure as hell should not be the norm. If a "good" Muslim believes in everything in the Quran and the Quran states that god says that man can never satisfy the condition by which the license for polygamy becomes valid, then why plan for this type of life even before marriage number 1? Is this not challenging the very scripture that this person believes in??

By the way, is it allowed in Islam for a woman to request that a condition be added to her marriage contract forbidding her soon to be husband from marrying another woman?? I don't think so........not 100% sure though.