Problem And Ask For Help

Topic locked
  • Reply
problem and ask for help Oct 25, 2009
Hi,
I want to report a problem and ask for help,
There is a girl, who is Dubai resident, She went to Iran and changed her religious formally to ISLAM, after that her father who came to Iran, bring her back to Dubai and keep her at home and he want to force this girl to marry with non-MUSLEM boy, while she wants to marry with me who I am a MUSLEM Boy, her father blocked her passport and her IRAN national ID and do not let her go out, we need your help,

I also want to mention her birth date is 05/06/1989.
I am waiting to hear you soon,

how i can make a complain? how i can solve this problem at dubai? is there any way to make such complains?

Regards,

hamed23100
Dubai Forum Visitor
Posts: 12

  • Reply
Oct 25, 2009
hey I think if even she is a muslim,she needs her father approval for her marriage. so even if you prove she is a muslim she can not marry you if her father is not agree. at least in Iran we have this law, donno about otehr Islamic countries.
melika969
Dubai Forums Knight
User avatar
Posts: 2605

  • Reply
Oct 25, 2009
Hi,

with formal paper of becomming muslem we can marry at iran, i know everything, the problem is now how we can bring her out of her home and bring her back to iran or at least she just come out of her home, and get her iranian id and passport from her dad,
hamed23100
Dubai Forum Visitor
Posts: 12

  • Reply
Oct 25, 2009
I'm sorry Hamed, How can we help you? Are you trying to elope with the girl?
she is only 20! too young for making such a deceision. honestly as a muslim Irani girl, don't understand why some girl wants to be Irani and Muslim?!
melika969
Dubai Forums Knight
User avatar
Posts: 2605

  • Reply
Oct 25, 2009
Hi,

i asked if there is any ligal way or there is any place that i can make complain, i just asked for information,
hamed23100
Dubai Forum Visitor
Posts: 12

  • Reply
Oct 25, 2009
By the look of her age, she is a grown up person which means she can make up her mind as to who she wants to marry…( I don’t know the age for being adult in legal terms or marriage wise)

There is no such thing as arranged or fixed marriage in Islam so she has her free will to choose amongst Muslims. (since she’s become a Muslim)
What I personally suggest is that if she is not mal- treated at home, then leave them alone for a while, they may eventfully resolve their differences as time goes by.

At the end of the day no one can force her to sign or agree to a marriage contract or move to another house with another man as it is against her human rights in that matter..

If she is under continuous pressure and life is becoming unbearable than call and report to the Emirati police to help the family…
Or if the family is not Emirati by nationally than you can call their country consulate and speak to a counselor who can help resolve the current situation. A counselor from the consulate could actually make a visit to the parents’ house if serious and needed…

A marriage or family therapist who’s trained in the area of human psychology, psychiatry, or religions can also help settle this issue…

By the way how do they block her passport?, isn’t she at the age of being adult (legally) in UAE.. Or if she is another nationally what would the age be then?
Berrin
Dubai Forums Veteran
User avatar
Posts: 1390

  • Reply
Oct 25, 2009
Hi,

she is 20 and she is in legal age, her father got her passport and keep it at his shop, how can i contact UAE police? which section is responsible?
hamed23100
Dubai Forum Visitor
Posts: 12

  • Reply
Oct 25, 2009
Hamed,

To be honest, it sounds like this is a complicated situation and to be frank, a mess.

I'm not sure that Dubaiforums is the best place to be asking for advice on the subject, but as stated above, if there is an issue with a person being held against their wish, then it may be something the police can help with.

On the religious front, Islam teaches that parents should be honoured and obeyed in everything except where they may ask you to commit acts against the unity of God (to believe in other Gods). Some interpret this as saying we need to obey them unless they ask us to violate religious principles.

However, it sounds like both the lady and yourself have tough times ahead. I don't agree with the lady's father's attitude and actions - and would not approve if it were a Muslim father preventing their daughter from marrying a non-Muslim. However, as a father of girls myself, I can only imagine what it would be like to find out my daughter had changed her religion and was planning on marrying without letting me know etc.

I hope that it works out for you and the lady, and hope you can find a way to reconcile with the future in-laws. It would be a shame if the lady were forced into a marriage with another person against her will - but I think that should be difficult, either in Dubai or Iran.

Good luck.

Cheers,
Shafique
shafique
Dubai Shadow Wolf
User avatar
Posts: 13442

  • Reply
Oct 25, 2009
would not approve if it were a Muslim father preventing their daughter from marrying a non-Muslim

Shafique... out of curiosity.. what did you mean when you've said this? :wink:

Islam teaches that parents should be honoured and obeyed in everything except where they may ask you to commit acts against the unity of God?

Do you mean a muslim girl has no right to disaprove her parents choice to be her husband?
Berrin
Dubai Forums Veteran
User avatar
Posts: 1390

  • Reply
Oct 25, 2009
Berrin, I don't know about Islam, but in Iran there is a law that a daughter can not get married without her father's permission.
melika969
Dubai Forums Knight
User avatar
Posts: 2605

  • Reply
Oct 25, 2009
Berrin wrote:
would not approve if it were a Muslim father preventing their daughter from marrying a non-Muslim

Shafique... out of curiosity.. what did you mean when you've said this?


Quite simply that I believe in the Islamic teaching that a marriage needs the consent of the lady - so a Muslim father taking the passport of their daughter and imprisoning her would be condemned as well. At the end of the day, the daughter has the right to choose - and if she wants to change religion and marry a man of her choice, that is her choice and right.

Berrin wrote:
Islam teaches that parents should be honoured and obeyed in everything except where they may ask you to commit acts against the unity of God?

Do you mean a muslim girl has no right to disaprove her parents choice to be her husband?


She has a choice and certainly has a right to disapprove of her parent's choice. At the end of the day it is her wish - and she has to make the final decision. Normally though, the parents do have the best wishes/interests of their daughter at heart and will also take her verdict into account.

Now, if the parents insist on their choice - well that does put the whole 'honouring one's parent' on the line, but it still remains the lady's choice.

I am well aware that in many parts of the world the woman's right is not upheld today as Islam teaches - that is despite the teachings of Islam though, and certainly not because of them.

Cheers,
Shafique
shafique
Dubai Shadow Wolf
User avatar
Posts: 13442

  • Reply
Oct 26, 2009
Shafique there is no problem over getting the consent of daughter if marriage is to a muslim man..

But God does not allow muslim ladies to marry non-Muslim men unless they become muslim themselves(wholeheartedly)…

So what do we do? As parents give permission or not?
I feel we don’t have the power to permit, as the religion is not ours but (Allahs’), and if we as parents going to disobey God’s commandments then what is the point of being muslim parents in the first place and raising children as Muslims?

Now how do we teach a child to be careful not to pick and choose what part of the book they are going to follow…Allah says in the quran…
Then is it only a part of the Book that ye believe in, and do ye reject the rest? (2:85)

On the other hand, humans are given free will to make a choice but I also know that if we ignore or left alone without the devine guidance then we are most likely to do wrong and go astray as our abilities are limited from creation.
This isn’t what we want for our children /or out of life here? is it?

So what do we make out of all this? And how do we explain it all?
http://www.readingislam.com/servlet/Sat ... boutIslamE

By the way here is something to read…I liked some of the comments and the answers… http://ebrahimsaifuddin.wordpress.com/2 ... uslim-man/
Berrin
Dubai Forums Veteran
User avatar
Posts: 1390

  • Reply
Oct 26, 2009
Berrin - I agree, a Muslim father cannot give permission for his daughter to marry a non-Muslim and should persuade her to remain within the faith and marry a Muslim (eg the man can convert to Islam).

However, ultimately it is the lady's decision who to marry and whether she wants to leave Islam and marry a non-Muslim. She can choose to marry without her parents' permission.

That's the theory and teaching of Islam - ultimately there is no compulsion in religion. The theory is also that a child should remain a Muslim because of the beauties of Islam, not out of compulsion - and will want to marry a fellow believer. If they choose to follow a different path - then this is a painful choice that we must ultimately respect.

Remember that the Holy Prophet, pbuh, could not persuade some of his family members to join Islam - even supplicating them on their death beds to join Islam. Also some Prophets had close family members who chose to disbelieve - eg the son of Noah and Lot's wife.

Therefore, we need to pray and do our best for our children but ultimately realise that they will grow up and make their own decisions.

As children of parents, we can choose whether to obey and honour our parents as Islam teaches and whether to follow the Islamic injunctions relating to marriage.

That said, I actually agree with the underlying sentiments of your last post - but at the end of the day, Allah's injunction that 'there is no compulsion in religion' is ultimate - anyone is free to choose their religion.

Cheers,
Shafique
shafique
Dubai Shadow Wolf
User avatar
Posts: 13442

  • Reply
Oct 30, 2009
Hi,

problem changed, my connection to girl was broken for some days, du to disconnection of internet and also mobile and phone, after some days, some one called me i answerd , she was on the phone , she said me her parents was going to kill her and they hitted her as her body become blak and she asked for help, i am going to go to dubai, but in this situation will police help? how we can protect her from her family?
hamed23100
Dubai Forum Visitor
Posts: 12

  • Reply
Oct 30, 2009
I'm sure the police will intervene. Shocking news - I wish you all the best.

Cheers,
Shafique
shafique
Dubai Shadow Wolf
User avatar
Posts: 13442

  • Reply
Oct 30, 2009
Thanks, they even called me during last 2 days and thretend me to death, they said we sent men to kill you, can i make a compalin also regarding to this?also what should we ask from police to protect girl? what will they do for her?

Regards,
Hamed
hamed23100
Dubai Forum Visitor
Posts: 12

  • Reply
Oct 30, 2009
poor girl...
melika969
Dubai Forums Knight
User avatar
Posts: 2605

  • Reply
Oct 31, 2009
Do you know any good attorny for her?
hamed23100
Dubai Forum Visitor
Posts: 12

posting in Philosophy and Religion ForumsForum Rules

Return to Philosophy and Religion Forums


cron