I believe MCL was my inspiration for this.
Author: BoraBora
Chief Editor: Portland
Using Puppypup’s posts, this is how a date would go with K-Dog and Puppypup. Additions appear in italics.
KD picks PP up in the SPEEDHUMPER.
KD: Well, now we can get a chance to know each other in person.
PP: Yes, I would like that. Do you want to date me or something? I have a vajajay. I told that to ROBBYG but he didn't bite.
KD: Err, how do you like to spend your day?
PP: Enjoy a calm morning by eating well and adoring nature. Maybe get laid. Then rob a bank before closing time. Hopefully the authorities won't find me so I can spend some of the cash but if I land in jail that's okay too..ITS MISERY CALLED LIFE.
KD: Okayyyy. Do you have many friends in Dubai?
PP: I'm a nice friend anywhere. I'm not sexy. I won't cater to everyone's taste but generally speaking I'd say I'm feminine and conventionally pretty. I'm not a maid or beautician. I'm not Asian but a part-time masseuse and I work for CAPTAIN AUSTRALIA. I once got a "happy ending" from a part-time masseuse girl who was asian but said she didn't look it.
KD: Have you ever been to PORTLAND, Oregon?
PP: Where is that?
(They get to the SAGE & ONION restaurant and have a drink while waiting for the table.)
KD: So, what actually is your ancestry?
PP: I mean c'mon I'm not Asian if my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great=great-great-great-great grandparents were from Mongolia or wherever. Furthermore I'm arond 1/8 Lipka (Lithuanian -Tatar) then I've got my Irish, French, etc. background so I'm not Asian, plain and simple.
KD: OK, so you really aren’t Asian, but you do look Asian and you really did make an issue of it on the forum.
PP: Not that forum members find me caring and intelligent or to have a voice, I've been mistaken or perceived for Nepalese, Turk, Persian, Indian, Chinese, Filipino, Japanese, Korean, Siberian, Kazak, Uzbek, Viet, Thai, Cambodian, Malaysian, Indonesian, Russian, Lithuanian, Saami, Tatar, Czech, Polynesian, Peruvian, Colombian, Puerto Rican, Dominican, Brazilian, Chilean, Paraguayan, Mexican, Guatemalan, Sicilian, Greek, Portugese, Half-black, Native-American, Afghanistani
KD: Are you sure you covered everything?
PP: Persian girls are beautiful and often classy. I've gotten mistaken as one. Makes sense since I look Persian. Oh, wait, I do look Russian. Makes sense though since I have Lithuanian-Tatar background. Sorry I don't know any "Soviet" Republic dances but always willing to learn. Oh wait I can belly dance so that fits with some of the former "Soviet" lands.
KD: What about your forefathers?
PP: I never said my forefathers or foremothers f*cked some Asians. Could there have been some Asians a few centuries or so ago? sure anything is possible but as far as this century, the 20th century, and late 1800s I'm not Asian and don't look it.
(Hostess BORA BORA escorts them to their table. KD thinks its time to change the topic)
(PP leans into KD and says: That woman thinks I¨m Mexican or Costa Rican here.)
KD: So, what do you do in your spare time?
PP: I'm an intermediate-advanced dancer with grace and style. I love dancing. Waltz and Latin-dancing are my talents.
KD: Well, let’s take a look at the menu.
PP: I'm not a vegan or vegetarian but I do try care for my body as best as I can eating grains, free-range chicken, non-homogenized grass-fed milk, grass-fed beef, game, nuts, berries. Yes, I do eat Asian foods too. I like millet, kimchi, rambutan, and lychees. I love love beets, herring with beets, cabbage and beets, borscht, blinis, stuffed cabbage, salmon, and sprats. Not much of a pork eater here except bacon.
KD: Do you have any allergies?
PP: I'm allergic to Arab men.
KD: Well I hope there’s something on the menu that you can eat.
PP: I'm hungry KDog. I don't want people coming with trays of lumpia, adobo and rice. I want beets, cabbage, herring, and pierogies. Anyway I look Russian not Filipina so I match my taste buds. No vodka though. Yuck. My Irish side takes over in the drinking department. I like whiskey. Does this help?
KD: (Changing the subject once again) You have nice hair.
PP: On the topic of hair. How could I be Filipina or Asian? I'm so hairy that I'm a forest. I have a unibrow. I wax or thread my Frida Kahlo mustache. My baby fine hair gets disheveled the moment I step outdoors. It frizzes it in the rain.
KD: (Changing the subject once again) What would you really like to do for a living?
PP: Make a living as a psychic.
KD: (Changing the subject once again) What do you think about the swine flu scare?
PP: I know the cure for the swine flu. Just say to yourself "I don't have time to get sick. I have other things to do." The swine flu will then move on to a scared victim.
PP: I would like to tell you something, K-Dog, you make me hot.
KD excuses himself and says he is going to the men’s room.
15 minutes later DRESDEN the head waiter presents the bill to PP. She said she was waiting for her date. DRESDEN tells her: he’s not coming back, he told me to give the bill to the Phillipino girl at this table.
Keep it clean guys, we don't want this one going south!