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what do you think?

Please provide us with a little additional information about his and her nationality, age, education and stuff like this, because its hard to say something about people that have other values then I (or we) have in North Western Europe.

I would love to answer you, but it won't make any ground without the proper context of culture and education.

Info please.

RobbyG, none of that info has anything to do with the situation or the poster's questions.

My answer is that she is well rid of the guy. If he doesn't love her as she is then she is better off finding someone else. He'll find himself a virgin to marry, but may never find the happiness he could have had with her if they were in love and a good match. He may be regretting one day, but that is his problem.

i had a same situation. he found a virgin and married her, and not really happy.
so, i totally agree with u.

Damn, I wrote a real big message and it never came online ....

RobbyG wrote:Please provide us with a little additional information about his and her nationality, age, education and stuff like this, because its hard to say something about people that have other values then I (or we) have in North Western Europe.

I would love to answer you, but it won't make any ground without the proper context of culture and education.

Info please.

There are issues every where. I know of an african girl who had a great online thing going with the white dude, but when they met he just walked away as he would only be with a white girl. This girl was lovely and the guy adored her during their 3 months before they met.

People always walk away from something so good, because of our own set perceptions. Do not see the world with one point of view, that you do, but never realise.

In this case a certain person might behave because of the perceptions they live in.

I feel sad for the girl, but happy for her as well as she will find somebody that respects her. this guy would always have controlled her and she would have felt a captive for life with his beliefs and perceptions.

It's not fair it's true. But that's some guys for you. They'll be very hypocritical and allow themselves to go around and have fun, but the girl they want to settle with has to have a clean slate as it were.

In this day and age it is rediculous and very selfish. HOwever, some cultural upbringings / religious might have been at play here.

No doubt the hym** surgery is so popular. It defeats the whole purpose, but if that is what some men want, so be it.

Excuse me! And what about what women want?

It isn't even reliable - even virgins can be missing the hymen because of previous activities like gymnastics, horse riding and bicycle riding etc. Think how many women in this world have been punished for not being virgins just because of the hymen.

This is sooo true. It means nothing these days.

Women have been killed over it, and as a woman it makes me very sad that such atrocities can be committed due to lack of education about biology and simple bias!

You guys are playing it out to be like he is the bad guy here. Well there's likely a lot more to it. Regardless, even if that was the ONLY reason, I think it's justifiable. Some of you are claiming that he is giving up a 'happy' life just for that. Well did you ever think that he may never truly be happy if they actually were still together? Maybe he would keep thinking about those other guys every time they were intimate. Maybe he doesn't wanna be compared to anyone else. Or maybe he had moral values different to yours that don;t allow him to be with someone who views s.ex the way she did. (What the hell why is s.e.x censored?!! Seriously that is just retarded)

I think he did the right thing. People rush into everything and act on their feelings all the time. then worry about those supposedly "miner" problems later. That is when the problems start, and the deeper you are, the worse it is. If he felt like it was something he couldn't deal with, then the best thing to do for both of them is to leave her.

kanelli wrote:RobbyG, none of that info has anything to do with the situation or the poster's questions.

My answer is that she is well rid of the guy. If he doesn't love her as she is then she is better off finding someone else. He'll find himself a virgin to marry, but may never find the happiness he could have had with her if they were in love and a good match. He may be regretting one day, but that is his problem.

It does have something to do with her question. Its says alot about the person and his values. Their culture might ask for virgins. Well you can't blame the guy for following his believes and low educations standards.

But I agree, from my standpoint its very clear the guy is a nutter and should go to another school of thought and religion

But that cliche talk of you guys won't help a bit. Its just the same old song again. Try ask and think about the actual reasons for this guy. Perhaps his family demands that. PErhaps he's jealous. Perhaps old fashioned. Uneducated and unable to reason.

Just lets talk cliche again huh. Thats what you want....

Before we drive a car we test drive it, b4 we buy a laptop, we test it, b4 we buy a sofa we sit on it, yet before we Marry a woman we want a virgin?
C'mon if sexual compatibility between Husband and Wife is nil, then you can bid goodbye to a happily ever after. I always advocate first live-in then marry.

All you guys on this thread, be honest. Wouldn't your gf's sexual history matter? Ex lovers?
Personally as long as two people are honest about their relationship (and their pasts) upfront, then it's ok. Otherwise there could be friction!

For those who were wondering, they are both muslim arabs. Shes 24 and hes 26, and both educated. I understand that in some cultures its important for a girl to be a virgin, but if shes not, does that mean she doesnt have a chance at love or marriage? And im not talking about a girl who has been with several guys, just one, and it was a very serious relationship. Why should she have to pay? Dont we all do things we regret? I just think, especially in this case, it was a stupid thing to do. He loved her very much, and to let her go because of this was a waste. Just my opinion.

As i said earlier, it's a question of honesty! Was she honest about her past right at the onset of her relationship?

SarahC wrote:For those who were wondering, they are both muslim arabs. Shes 24 and hes 26, and both educated. I understand that in some cultures its important for a girl to be a virgin, but if shes not, does that mean she doesnt have a chance at love or marriage? And im not talking about a girl who has been with several guys, just one, and it was a very serious relationship. Why should she have to pay? Dont we all do things we regret? I just think, especially in this case, it was a stupid thing to do. He loved her very much, and to let her go because of this was a waste. Just my opinion.

If they guy is a devout Muslim then the only way he really could accept her is if she regretted it and she asked for forgiveness from God for it. If her mentality is that s.ex before marriage is ok, then that is a whole other issue. Cause that is where the kids get involved. If she did regret it, then his decision is likely more based on not being able to deal wit ha woman who has been with another, rather than moral values.

She didnt tell him straight away, because she felt it was too personal to share. But when she realised things were going good and the relationship was going somewhere, she decided to be honest about it. Its not like he asked her and she lied.
MC, as far as i know, she is only ok with s.e.x before marriage if the relationship is very serious. Like i said, she was planning on getting engaged to the other guy, but due to some problems, it never happened. Of course now she regrets it because she didnt think they would break up.
And about the guy, i dont think it had to do with religion, i think it was more likely he didnt like the idea that there was someone else. And that is what makes me mad. I know so many women who engage in other acts to remain a virgin, yet their future husbands have no idea and think they married an innocent virgin.

Chocoholic wrote:Excuse me! And what about what women want?

I was refering to the above post and in that context. In general it always has to be both ways or its doomsday anyway.

SarahC wrote:She didnt tell him straight away, because she felt it was too personal to share. But when she realised things were going good and the relationship was going somewhere, she decided to be honest about it. Its not like he asked her and she lied.
MC, as far as i know, she is only ok with s.e.x before marriage if the relationship is very serious. Like i said, she was planning on getting engaged to the other guy, but due to some problems, it never happened. Of course now she regrets it because she didnt think they would break up.
And about the guy, i dont think it had to do with religion, i think it was more likely he didnt like the idea that there was someone else. And that is what makes me mad. I know so many women who engage in other acts to remain a virgin, yet their future husbands have no idea and think they married an innocent virgin.

I was with some men earlier and asked them the same question. This is based on 5 arab men, but all of them will only marry if the wife is virgin and if she lies, they can find out and divorce her on the first night itself. These guys were educated and surely do not respresent the whole Arab world, but other friends were all shocked at their behaviour. But, what contradicted this whole thing was the fact that they are fine with marrying a Russian, even though she might have slept with others. I was like whattttt.

The reason they game me was shocking and too much to post here, but that was the reason i wanted to know if the Arab women will go out with non arab expats.

worldguy wrote:

SarahC wrote:She didnt tell him straight away, because she felt it was too personal to share. But when she realised things were going good and the relationship was going somewhere, she decided to be honest about it. Its not like he asked her and she lied.
MC, as far as i know, she is only ok with s.e.x before marriage if the relationship is very serious. Like i said, she was planning on getting engaged to the other guy, but due to some problems, it never happened. Of course now she regrets it because she didnt think they would break up.
And about the guy, i dont think it had to do with religion, i think it was more likely he didnt like the idea that there was someone else. And that is what makes me mad. I know so many women who engage in other acts to remain a virgin, yet their future husbands have no idea and think they married an innocent virgin.

I was with some men earlier and asked them the same question. This is based on 5 arab men, but all of them will only marry if the wife is virgin and if she lies, they can find out and divorce her on the first night itself. These guys were educated and surely do not respresent the whole Arab world, but other friends were all shocked at their behaviour. But, what contradicted this whole thing was the fact that they are fine with marrying a Russian, even though she might have slept with others. I was like whattttt.

The reason they game me was shocking and too much to post here, but that was the reason i wanted to know if the Arab women will go out with non arab expats.

To be honest, it sounds like those men have the mindset of a 15 year old boy that still thinks he's searching for that one perfect virgin out there.

Its time they move to Europe. Will be lonely for them

They are fine with the European girl Robbie. That is where the irony is.

worldguy wrote:They are fine with the European girl Robbie. That is where the irony is.

The irony, is that no European woman wants them in Europe.

I would disagree mate as I know quite a few such couples ..... you seriously need to get out more.

worldguy wrote:I would disagree mate as I know quite a few such couples ..... you seriously need to get out more.

Keep focussed please I'm talking 'those men'. Not the integrated/assimilated ones that found their luck in a Euro lady.

Try and pay some attention. Your manipulating the point.

Misery im agree with you

Worldguy, im really interested in knowing their reason.If you dont want to post it here, could you pm me? thanks
Also, how old are these men? And where are they from?

worldguy wrote:

RobbyG wrote:Please provide us with a little additional information about his and her nationality, age, education and stuff like this, because its hard to say something about people that have other values then I (or we) have in North Western Europe.

I would love to answer you, but it won't make any ground without the proper context of culture and education.

Info please.

There are issues every where. I know of an african girl who had a great online thing going with the white dude, but when they met he just walked away as he would only be with a white girl. This girl was lovely and the guy adored her during their 3 months before they met.

People always walk away from something so good, because of our own set perceptions. Do not see the world with one point of view, that you do, but never realise.

In this case a certain person might behave because of the perceptions they live in.

I feel sad for the girl, but happy for her as well as she will find somebody that respects her. this guy would always have controlled her and she would have felt a captive for life with his beliefs and perceptions.

3 Months and they didn't even exchange pictures? Weird.

SarahC wrote:MC, as far as i know, she is only ok with s.e.x before marriage if the relationship is very serious. Like i said, she was planning on getting engaged to the other guy, but due to some problems, it never happened. Of course now she regrets it because she didnt think they would break up.

Sorry to say this, but this is bordering foolishness. How do you expect us to believe this crap? All men can make any women believe that they are going to marry her just to get into her pants, that's not a reason for the women to let it just happen, especially knowing what kind of a big deal is it to loose virginity in the Arab-Muslim Culture/Society/Tradition. It's a No-No. Men are also supposed to be virgins when they marry too. It's harder to prove though:)