2. He doesn't laugh when you pronounce former hockey star Mark Messier's name as "Mark Messy-er."
3. The only framed photo on his bureau is of you at age ten — with short bangs, cat glasses, and metal braces. (If he kept it in his wallet, you would have to kill him.)
4. He automatically smooshes all spiders for you.
5. He tried — unsuccessfully, but he tried — to clean the rust ring his shaving-cream can left on the sink.
6. After you rear-ended that Lexus in the parking lot, his very first words were "Are you OK?"
7. At this point, his wedding band is so tight, it makes his finger look swollen — but he swears he'd feel naked without it.
8. He doesn't try to guess what you want for your birthday — he asks your best friend.
9. He's incapable of putting dishes into the dishwasher but has learned to stack them in the sink.
10. He understands which old boyfriends are fair game and which aren't.
11. He doesn't "whoop!" while watching the Super Bowl anymore. OK, he does, but he's definitely cut back the whooping by about 20 percent.
12. He'll pick up a box of tampons at the drugstore without wincing.
13. Though you've had several kids together, he's never once announced, "We're pregnant!"
14. He wears that "Kiss Me, I'm Irish" sweatshirt you bought him during a weak moment — sometimes even in public.
15. He's careful never to deal with nose hairs in your presence.
16. When you drag him to sentimental movies, he doesn't sit there and snicker. (He may fall asleep, but he won't snicker.)
17. He doesn't comment on your new haircut unless you ask him to. And then he lies.
18. He may forget to give you a card for Valentine's Day, but at least he understands this is a criminal offense. And he's prepared to pay the price.
