Rudeboy Out on a Date, the dialect:-
(All of Rudeboy’s lines are entirely quoted from his last 30 posts)
The evening begins with a walk down Sharjah Corniche….
Girl- Let’s head to the wanderers have a drink or two….
Rudeboy- lol cant really figure out why ppl drink. i guess they luv making a fool out of themselves
Girl- whattt?
Rudeboy- drinking i just wonder why. why oh why do u do it? no wonder u get drunk and start doing it with Mr banana on jumeriah beach. next thing u know u in trouble. u dont blame the drink u blame DUBAI and its crappy laws lol dumb fools
Girl- Hey, listen Mr., all I suggested was a drink or two, if u can’t handle it then just say so! But just so u know we could also eat something there, the ambience at the wanderers is fab, we’ll have a good time. And since I’ll be the only one drinking, it’s my treat!
Rudeboy- Does it include testing of the food and different courses am up for it and got the whole family ready for it
Girl- Err, okk…Let’s jus go, the two of us. Before we head to the wanderers u wanna check out the Sharjah Arts Museum, or maybe the Heritage Museum?
Rudeboy- lol dont go there they bloody crap
Girl- So what would you recommend doing in Sharjah
Rudeboy rubbing his hands with glee, like a lil boy
Rudeboy- shj has its own sharjah eye (the wheel) on the canal. yeh theres a awsome paintballing arena since there are 2 of u just tag along if some group is playing ask them if u can join in.
Girl wondering what the heck she’s got herself into
Anyways to salvage the night decides to opt for a drink and then leave…. Early.
Girl- Lets jus go to the wanderers, alrit?
At the wanderers
Girl- So do you like Indian food, I just love a good chicken biryani, chicken tikka….
RB interrupts
Rudeboy- yeh maybe even rudeboys droppings muhahahaha they can make rudeboys kofta curry out of that or even think they are meat balls
next time u are in a indian restaurant be careful of what you order
Girl- Ewww, lets just settle for Fish n Chips and some beer, ok?
The drinks arrive
Girl- Looking at a much in love couple on the other table
All a woman wants from a man is a little companionships and love….Off course he must be financially independent, u know…. Love won’t feed you. And yea women love a man who can provide them with emotional security, we just feel vulnerable at times, it’s our nature.
RB- MONEY and SECURITY???? why the hell dont u girls get ur OWN bloody money :S sheesh. and security :S invest in your own CCTV cameras :p
women and their bloody demands :S they keep on going and going. sometimes i wonder when they will get tired
Just then a bunch of Arab Guys, walk in with some Russians. RB immediately stands up…..all erect, and in his mind sings a patriotic song to UAE as a sign of respect…..
Girl- I wonder if these intercultural relationships work? Wonder what these women see in these men
RB- cos now they can tell u where ur boxer or nickers are made in. LOL excuse me sir i have the right to see your boxers.
I wonder if u fart whether they can see that
At this point after half a glass of beer, RB pukes all over the table. Girl gets up and leaves….RB cleans up and runs after her
They hail a cab, the cab driver smelling booze, decides to overcharge. He passes some lewd comments as well…..
Girl- RB say something…..
The huge cabbie snarls menacingly
RB can only manage a whimper, it's something like....meowww
RB- write them all an email. if they come swearing at u say it was april fools day
Girl- An email isn’t going to solve anything. They are all hand in glove, authorities, cabbies….
RB- fact is the whole que can see which nickers u wearing
by the way u dont have ur rights here. its because of National Security
Some passerby’s (locals) butt in and tell off the cabbie. Then they hail another cab and ask the cabbie to drop the girl home…
RB thinking out loud
RB- lol i wonder WHY they really helping her
Passerby ( who goes by the name speedhump)- a lot of men can talk to women and not have their brain drop down into their d*ck, if that's what you mean?