On my forearm I'll open a gash
and go begging for mountains of cash.
It's amazing to me
what one can get for free
just by braving the pain of one slash!
...but if finally it all goes tits-up,
and no money drops into my cup.
I'll hop on a plane,
and jet off to Spain,
and with old English villains I'll sup
Speedhump is shacked up with a Chink,
No offence!! I don't call her a gink !!
The Chinese are nice!
You get plenty of rice!!
And even more "afters", I think!!!
If your girlfriend comes from Shanghai ,
Then chips you don't need to fry !
She'll fill up the wok ,
And rub oil on your **ck
You're the luckiest guy in Dubai!!!!
As it's now just past midnight I can write the following:
Some say Argie rugby is dirty.
They trip you and tug on your shirty.
But to RedKite's delight
Taffs are starring tonight
when they trounce the Gauchos at five thirty!
On the Al Ain road you'll hear the calls,
shouts of line out, and kicks, rucks and mauls.
Yes it's rugby again,
a sport fit for real men
(that's guys playing with oddly-shaped balls!)
Speedhump picked up birds with a wink,
But that's when he first learnt to jink!!
A side-step or two,
On the way to the loo,
Dodged "hookers" in bars ...."What d'ya think??
England's now wearing a frown
Their team ,this year, has gone down ,
Ain't it a bugger,
Playing fourteen man rugger!!! ??
Now its Ireland or Wales for THE CROWN!!!
England's deaf to the referee's whistle,
so they're now chewing not meat but gristle,
and the trophy may go,
as we all now might know,
to those wearing the shamrock or thistle!
'Yellow fever' is surely a curse.
Though I know of a lot that are worse
than lying in bed
being given great head
by a Chink that is dressed as a nurse.
Now Speedhump , you rascal old mucker !!
It seems that You've found a good sucker !!
You have a Chink,
A good 'un , I think,
Who'll blow you away when you f*** her !!
We blasted past Kenya tonight
a team that can give quite a fright.
I'll pray to the heav'ns
for a trophy at Sevens
'cause Six Nations is utterly sh*te!
Redkite's team now will face quite a test
as the Kiwi's are best of the best.
Though they've taken some knocks
they come off of their blocks
like a steamtrain to kill off the rest!
The trouble with the team from New Zealand ,
Is it's drawn from many an island !!
Let's be specific!!
Call it "Pacific" !
Cos the team's drawn many a small land
The Pumas are feeling quite bleak
A diff'rent trophy they must seek.
They're asking the heavens
what went wrong at the Sevens?
They were hit in the head by a leek!
So what became of the Blacks?
That's Kiwis, not Kenya .....or Dax !!
Who beat New Zealand ?
Was it your England ?
The Blacks have some dangerous backs!!
The Blacks were beaten by your men
who played not like seven lads but more ten.
As for England's sad story,
there's no final glory.
I'd have rather sat watching Big Ben.....
So the All Blacks were beaten by Wales ??
That good news is worth a few ales !!
We'll sing a Welsh song,
From Wales to Hong Kong,
A choir of happy Welsh males!!
Herve went to work out in Dubai,
Without saying that he'd been a spy!!
With that kind of life,
You're bound to have strife,
Cos to spy is to lie while you pry !!
Talking about an interesting man,
Submersibles or a little tin can,
Once he was with DGSE,
But now retired from French secrecy,
Dubai Dingy Du Bye Bye Tan
No wonder Herve sailed from Dubai
From Oman they'd have all heard the cry!!
" O....MAN !! dressed in black!
Look! He's not coming back!!
There's a man sailing off to Mumbai !!!!!!!"
As Herve headed down to his boat,
Dressed all over in black dress and coat,
Nerves frayed for Herve !
But Herve held his nerve!!
As he left without writing a note!!
The story sounds a movie completely ,
And they already have Bourne Identity.
Anyhow show some ruth,
Oasis said NO TRUTH!
Herve's out of all that emergency??
Herve has ended up in the States,
Far away from the land of fresh dates,
He's writing a book,
So we'll all have a look,
Then Herve will be left to his fates!!
The Trade Centre is thirty years old !!
When built the idea was so bold !!
On Sheikh Zayed Road,
It stood "tall" in "new mode",
Now it's small .....but worth riches untold!!
That was a beauty, you sound like you remember it with affection from years ago....!
I do:
The Trade Centre you have quite right.
I recall it was the only sight
that you saw from afar
when you drove in your car
to navigate you always at night!