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Hey all ....

I have had this concern for quite some time, and I stumbled upon the forum by chance.

I'm a 26 year-old Dutch lady,a psychologist, and I have recently found a nice job in Dubai. I moved to DXB last month. The main reason I moved to Dubai, when I have never resided outside The Netherlands before, is because of my fiance, who is a Syrian national.

Well I've gotten over the initial disbelief/denial, and moved on to anger and disappointment concerning the so-called "Western" community in Dubai.

Let me clarify:

My fiance is a junior doctor, and quite a good-looker, with a nice sense of fashion and style .... nevertheless:

1-I get frowned upon by at least half the "Westerners" I meet in malls and bars, who see me holding hands ...etc, with my fiance.

2-The people (South-African, Aussie, Brits and some other Europeans) at my workplace haven't stopped bombarding me with "advice" on dealing with "The Arabs" and how an Arab man can never be right for a european lady like me.

3-These same people (and many more, even if it's someone I've just met) keep on hinting at some "Unwritten rules" governing the behaviour of "Westerners" in Dubai, such as : "Avoid mingling with Arabs, unless they exhibit a clear and blatant pro-western lifestyle and thought" and "we should preserve the western community in Dubai" ....etc

4-Most European men I've met, act as if I'm fair game to them, as if being taken by an Arab man basically means that I'm single. The people I share a villa with in The Springs, keep on "introducing" (rather setting me up) with these single european guys, of which I see a new face every few days with a fancy car parked outside. It almost seems that being with an Arab man instigates something in westerners here., because I cab't imagine that the same would happen if I were with one of my "kind" ... i.e : a blonde-blue-eyed Dutchman.

5-Upon trying to argue all of the crap above, and letting people know what a wonderful man my fiance is, and how democratic and tolerant we should be, I'm not even given the time of the day for a reply, I just get frowned upon, and sad head-shakes by these people.

6-And ultimately when it seemed obvious that I wasn't about to let people who barely know me, influence my opinion on my fiance, I was "outcasted" from that "community", although I've had no direct confrontation, and regard myself as a very easy-going person and easy to get a long with.

It's as if going out/getting engaged to an Arab man is a slap in the face of a meticulously orchestrated "Western community" in Dubai.

I have been warned, by my fiance, and by other people, about this. But I just refused to believe that people who are tolerant and open-minded in their countries, can just turn into biased racists elsewhere, but sadly, it seems true.

I have a million incidents and stories to tell. From old Brit ladies in the ladies room telling me that I shouldn't hang out with an Arab, to Club bouncers in prestigious club to deny me and my fiance entrance with an obvious look of on their face......

The funny/sad thing is that it all seems to be under the surface .... Nobody ever talks about it. And most of those I met who have stayed in Dubai for some time, just follow the herd ....

What the hell??

whew!!

That was something!. though i am not a westerner all i can say is if u really love him look through all the people who make faces or give advice.

wishing you all the luck,

Jerry

First, some Arabs might not look kindly on you two as a couple because Muslims are supposed to marry other Muslims. The Westerners probably have seen other relationships between a Muslim person and non-Muslim person fall apart because of religious or family pressure etc. Why do you find it strange that others would be skeptical of the success of your relationship? Couples from the same religious and cultural background have a hard time staying together, let alone adding those things to the mix. I'm married to a Finnish guy and even my friends and family and his friends and family were worried about us as a match because we are from different cultural backgrounds and different countries.

From you post you make it sound like all the Westerners around you are conspiring, which I find hard to believe. Perhaps you are reading more into what is happening. For example, if you are living with a bunch of other people and some guys are coming to the house, maybe they are there for other people, not as possible dates for you.

If you and your fiance have been together for a while and know you are a good match, why care what anyone else thinks? Hopefully the wedding will be soon so you can live together and get rid of anyone around you who is a negative influence.

Kanelli .... this might surprise you, but most of the Arabs I've met were very supportive and happy for me and my fiance. As I understand it is allowed in Islam to marry a christian. I have never seen anyone muslim/Arab frown upon me and my fiance.

Also ... whether people believe it can work out or not is something they'd usually (that's how Europeans ive known in Europe do it) keep to themselves. It is none of their business to malignantly try and shake my faith in my choice. It's almost like being a Caucasian in Dubai, entitles every other caucasian to interfere and butt in , in your cross-cultural affairs.

And trust me, I am not reading more into it than it is. When different single guys knock on my door saying: "Hi, I'm Steve" (with a supposedly charming smile on his face) "I've heard that you're new and I was wondering if you'd like to have a drink or go clubbing with me sometime" or some shit like that, numerous times, when it's a known fact that I'm taken and engaged. Then sorry, but it's obvious that something fishy and very disrespectful is going on.

I don't really care what other people think, and I do know that we're a perfect match. Yet I'm saddened and still shocked by the "unwritten rules" and "hints" everybody with blue-eyes seems to be passing around.

It is ridiculous and old-fashioned appartheid.

Linda_Stuiv wrote:Kanelli .... this might surprise you, but most of the Arabs I've met were very supportive and happy for me and my fiance. As I understand it is allowed in Islam to marry a christian. I have never seen anyone muslim/Arab frown upon me and my fiance.

Also ... whether people believe it can work out or not is something they'd usually (that's how Europeans ive known in Europe do it) keep to themselves. It is none of their business to malignantly try and shake my faith in my choice. It's almost like being a Caucasian in Dubai, entitles every other caucasian to interfere and butt in , in your cross-cultural affairs.

And trust me, I am not reading more into it than it is. When different single guys knock on my door saying: "Hi, I'm Steve" (with a supposedly charming smile on his face) "I've heard that you're new and I was wondering if you'd like to have a drink or go clubbing with me sometime" or some shit like that, numerous times, when it's a known fact that I'm taken and engaged. Then sorry, but it's obvious that something fishy and very disrespectful is going on.

I don't really care what other people think, and I do know that we're a perfect match. Yet I'm saddened and still shocked by the "unwritten rules" and "hints" everybody with blue-eyes seems to be passing around.

It is ridiculous and old-fashioned appartheid.

I hear what you are saying. It's a sad fact that many Europeans/Westerners that come here act this way and consider themselves superior to other nationalities when they are in Dubai. It's really silly since these same people were much nicer and chilled out in their home countries. But upon reaching Dubai, many of them become mega racist and think highly of themselves - why, I dont know. Maybe because they get a much better job than they could in their home country and thus feel superior or maybe because of the obvious preference they are given here over other certain nationalities... Anyhow, once they see this preference given to them, I suppose many of them become racist themselves. What's really ironic is that many of these westerners had crap jobs in their home town and then all of a sudden they land here and consider themselves GOD and look down on others cuz of their new job and their new found "special treatment".

Now I am not saying that all Europeans are like that at all, in fact many of my friends are really chilled out. But sadly many of the people here are just how you describe. Hell, I even saw a brit kid the other week, couldnt have been more than 9 years old, playing with another asian boy at the airport. The brits parents were next to them. Then the brit kids sister came up and told her brother, why are you playing with him, hes asian. Can you imagine!!! I was appalled and told their parents about it. They just said, oh i dont know where she got that from. Sure, either from home or school. Unbelievable i thought and so sad that kids at that age are racist in Dubai!!

I have just learnt to ignore these type of people completely and you should as well and just be happy with your fiance. To hell with them anyways, life's way too short to worry about them.

You're right to say that it is no-one elses business but yours and you have the right to be happy, sounds like you are, which is good.

But some other valid points have been made and people might have other points of view due to experiences either by themselves or things that have happened to female friends.

It's sad to say that there are some guys from GCC countries who play about, they like to date, mess about with western girls, but will 9 times out of 10 settle down with girls from their own country or culture due to family pressure mostly.

Also you get girls who chase the locals for the cash, gifts etc etc. You can normally spot them a mile off.

It's sad to say that if you were in another country you wouldn't face these issues.

I certainly know so many women, including myself that have been totally done over by local and non-local arab guys, hence the attitude by some - not all people.

But just ignore it. And I'm certainly not saying they're all bad, most are great guys, but there are the few who give the bad impression.

Good luck!

We should never stereotype.

However i just wanted to point out that i am surprised sometimes by the racism and ignorance of some of the people who live in dubai towards the locals and/or Arabs in general. You would think that a person who left his country to come and live/work here as an expat would be a liberal open-minded person, but i have been proven wrong !

I look forward to the day where people in Dubai can stop looking at each other in colors but rather in substance.

Too true maad! Sadly I'm just telling it like it is, it happens alot. But like I said, it tends to be a few that tarnish the reputation of the majority. Most of the men are great, but some just act in the most ridiculous way and that's the problem.

But some other valid points have been made and people might have other points of view due to experiences either by themselves or things that have happened to female friends.

Yes but for their "opinions" to be generalised and stereotyped, and to be picked up by roughly every westerner I've met in Dubai, indicates an iddy biddy bit more than just "bad experiences", it indicates old Orientalist views and anti-Arabism/Islamism. I mean if you come across a playboy in London or 'Dam or Paris, some people would tell you that this guy is a playboy, end of story. But for people to actively pursue stereotypes When they themselves have had either very little or NO interaction with Arabs is a little more than just "bad experience" ... you actch my drift I'm sure.

It's sad to say that there are some guys from GCC countries who play about, they like to date, mess about with western girls

As opposed to who? Western guys who are just dying to commit to you and be loyal till the end of Time? You gotta be kidding me.....

The women I've known in Holland, who have been with Arab guys have told me to be prepared for an infatuation and romance rarely displayed by western men (yes a stereotype, but thats the other opinion I guess).

but will 9 times out of 10 settle down with girls from their own country or culture due to family pressure mostly.

Also as opposed to who? My parents and "culture" would rather if I settled down with someone more "tuned" to my background. That's the way it goes in every culture. Yes culture and family in the Middle East play a little more pervasive role than in Europe, but Arab men seem to be strong-willed enough to break that once they see that you're right for them. And yes, A LOT of western women are just not right for Arab men and Vice Versa, not without compromises they should make as a couple.

But for all that to be caricatured by the western community in Dubai, in a way that makes Arabs/Muslims look like one seeving mass of fanatacism and possessiveness, which have no concepts that express individuality or true intimacy ...etc etc etc is utter crap, and like I said, it's old-fashioned racism of the same stripe of people that used to argue not long ago, that Blacks have naturally inferior brains, or that Asians are born for Servitude, or that Europeans are naturally superior ...

Also you get girls who chase the locals for the cash, gifts etc etc. You can normally spot them a mile off.

Umm ... so? You get sluts everywhere. Somehow sluts which pursue the "Other" are somehow worse? It makes a money-digger worse to pursue an Arab? Why? Is it more offensive because shes going for an Arab? Because "We" as Westerners should always keep our superiority or something like that?

I don't understand the context of that statement.

I certainly know so many women, including myself that have been totally done over by local and non-local arab guys, hence the attitude by some - not all people

With all due respect, but that is just absurd. Women learn very early on to spot the guy who only wants to slip in your pants and leave the next morning, from guys genuinely interested. I can tell you for a fact that there are more of the former type in Europe, afterall, we're the ones known for selfishness and self-centeredness. So if you pick the wrong type ... then that's sad. And I can even argue that the "playboy" trait has been picked up by some Arabs from going/living/studying in Europe and the US, because from meeting the more conservative Arabs (which most of you never have) you can easily tell that the whole "one-night stand" issue is very alien and new to the local/cultural beliefs.

I can safely presume that you've been done over by some european/western men as well ..... Does that make you develop stereotypes or red flags towards them? I don't think so.

It's interesting how in the 21st century a lot of us still think with an Imperial mentality (and I'm not necessarily referring to you Chocoholic)

But I am very grateful that you came up and mentioned some of the opposing opinion or maybe an attempt to explain what I've noticed.

However i just wanted to point out that i am surprised sometimes by the racism and ignorance of some of the people who live in dubai towards the locals and/or Arabs in general. You would think that a person who left his country to come and live/work here as an expat would be a liberal open-minded person, but i have been proven wrong !

Tell me about it.....

I have met some westerners who have been living here for 30+ years. And they re-iterate the same crap in most of the cases.

"When was the last time you invited an Arab home for dinner?" is a question I usually ask these know-it-all-about-Arabs, and the answer is usually "..............."[/code]

My suggestion is to get out and meet some more intelligent people....after all racism/prejudice/bigotry is a mental deficiency.

Linda,

Appreciate your comments, but here was really no need for an attack. My comments certainly weren't/aren't based on what the general populus thinks. And I'm certainly not so narrow minded as you would like to think. I was just saying that SOMETIMES this happens to SOME PEOPLE, not all of the people all of the time as you're trying to make out.

Dubai is great for international dating and I've been out with guys from loads of different nationalities, they all have their quirkes! (I'll never go out with a British guy again!).

Are you saying that you've never, ever made a bad choice in a man? Come on! Of course we all have!

In EVERY nationality/culture there are bad eggs, and too bad if you happen to get mixed up with one. They're not all like that, I never said they were. So please don't twist my comments.

I have friends who've married local guys are perfectly happy and get treated very well. But sometimes the men aren't always free to choose, many of the strict families still over rule on their choices, it's just the way it goes, and to say it doesn't happen is totally naive. I know a woman who's been with a national for 15 years! But he won't marry her as the family don't approve - this is the kind of thing that gets people going. Anywhere else and no one would care if you're Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Black, White, Yellow, Pink or Green. But in the UAE the nationals take it all very seriously to protect their culture. BUT they still embrace the western culture that has crept in, boozing, hookers, clubbing etc. And I think it's a crying shame!

You have to remember where you are, nationals are encouraged to marry other nationals. One of the Sheiks recently brought in incentives for UAE nationals to marry GCC nationals as there are limited locals and the people respect that.

It's only my opinion and it's not one that I blanket every single person with and it's only formulated from experience. I have many UAE national friends and thankfully they're all fantastic guys who're full of respect, but even they dispair of the reputation some guys give them.

I'd really like to know which nightclub had such an attitude toward the two of you - it's disgraceful! But sadly there are some who're very biased in their door policy and it's not the bouncers it's the management that give them these orders, the majority of which I'll have you know are non-westerners!

Linda its people like you and your fiancee that give hope to this world that is full of racism and hate. to paraphrase chris rock .. the perfect solution to racism is for everyone to f-uck everyone we would all be brown

You also have to remember Dubai is a bit of a bubble, it't not very real. Many people here are superficial. You have to go to the places where people with narrow minded attitudes don't hang out.

You've been in Dubai all of 5 mintues and probably only been to the main expat hangouts, so of course you're going to get these attitudes, plus you've probably only found the superficial people who really don't give a damn about anything in this place let alone you.

Look closer and go to the more continental places and you'll find more genuine people who really don't give a monkeys who you're with. Certainly myself and all my friends don't care who anyone goes out with, so long as they're not complete planks.

If you don't care, why should anyone else?

It seems that we're not even having the same conversation anymore chocoholic.

It goes without saying that there are some bad eggs/apples ... good eggs/apples ...etc etc etc.

The point of this thread, was not to "defend" the Arabs, or attack the westerners. It was to address a certain attitude displayed by many many westerners in Dubai.

So to put things back on track because they seem to have derailed:

1-I whine about what seems to be a collective western attitude towards Arabs and non-europeans in Dubai. And by collective, I mean some form of an unwritten rules sgared by every european expat, not someone who happens to be a racist from origin.

2-You reply by saying: oh well some of these opinions are justified and valid since many women have been done over by Arab guys.

3-I reply by saying: ridiculous. Men do women over allover the world, and they way you described it doesn't make it exclusive to Arab men. As for their culture...etc, don't tell me that a western woman only here for a few years is here hunting for the man of her dreams.

4-you reply by saying ........ bad tomatoes and good ones, and that Arabs can be nice as well!!

Well .... number 4 is out of touch with what the thread was all about.

I'm not attempting to defend Arabs from every shortcoming, or make westerners out to be devils, i happen to be one. But to EXPOSE this crap attitude they display in THIS country, towards the Arabs. And it has much much more to do with prejudice and superiority delusions rather than bad experiences.

Are you saying that you've never, ever made a bad choice in a man? Come on! Of course we all have!

No, that's exactly my point. If you pick some Arab that only wants to do you over and leave, then you chose wrongly, now didn't you? How can that be blamed on Arabs? Say the whole "bad eggs, good eggs" sermon to yourself. Because you were the one who started a half-apologetic, half-embarassed attempt to justify the horrible/racist/Nazi attitude displayed by a lot of the westerners here in Dubai, which I detailed in my first post.

And the advice is ..... get away from where the westerners are concentrated? Go to where it's a melting pot? No, I want to go where the westerners are concentrated, and I want someone to tell me :

"YES we are still racists, we still think with a colonial mentality, yes we are hypocrites, we pretend we treat indians well here, to look better than Arabs , but we would like nothing more than to skin them alive back in our countries, thats the way it is! We think Arabs are nothing more than primitive cattle"

That's what I think is the only explanation for the collective attitude displayed by SO MANY in Dubai, and when I hear that I'll be comfortable, you know why? Because at least people would be honest, and all cards would be on the table, instead of the unbelievable double-standarding and hypocrisy.

I rest my case[/quote]

Oh and a few more examples of how there seems to be something wrong with the mentalities of these that have been here for too long:-

1-I've been to Spain, Chile, Cuba, Thailand ....etc. And EVERYWHERE I went, the western expats living there, the vast majority of them, have at least attempted to learn the language and take the necessary courses. We like to exlpore exotic places, right?

Yet in Dubai, and in the Gulf generally, I'm yet to meet a western expat which takes Arabic courses, or has attempted to learn the language, apart from curses and swearing of course.

So somehow we'll refrain from learning an Ancient beautiful semitic language, which goes back in it's present form, to much deeper in history, than most languages, but we'd happily go and learn some language that is practically the cousin of our native language? I've met westerners in China and Japan which learned Japanese and Mandarin, it goes without saying...... but it rarely happens here.

2-History and culture: people come here and stay for half their productive lives, then leave with the exact same prejudices and mis-information they've been presented back home, unless by some miracle (which they always try to avoid) they're exposed to situations that might show them differently.

We basically come to the Birthplace of civilizations and religions, The Middle East, and attempt to no form of learning the history or culture? Except the negative aspect of course (Arab men are pussies and can't marry who they want) as chocoholic has displayed.

Ok, I dare any westerner on this forum, to mention any historical fact, or cultural tradition, about Arabs and Muslims, I don't care if you look it up online, at least I would have gotten you to do something you wouldn't normally do.

When was the last time you left your kids with an Arab family when you were going out with your wife/husband?

Admit it, we view them as the "Other" the alien weirdos who don't share the same values we do .

We all get taught Latin and the Roman/Greek history and mythology till we choke. But do we know the Islamic influences that precipitated in the renaissance? As a matter of fact, here's another dare, name 10 english words that came from Arabic (and exclude Dan Brown's Assasin, we've all read that).

I've been here for a little over a month, and I can understand classic Arabic in cartoons, although I didn't have to learn it, we agreed that english would be the language between us.

It's just so frustrating. People here think in the box, and they can't even see what I'm talking about.

I recommend Edward Said's "Orientalism" , that book was the academic earthquake that shook the thrones of those racist cronies that have been feeding us false "academic" lies about the East.

Er actually I was learning Arabic. I spent New Years Eve with my NATIONAL friends!

Enough of the psycho babble.

All I'm saying is you've only managed to come into contact with people with the wrong attitudes here so far - we're not all like that, nor do we all hold those opinions.

And I'm sorry that you've had the misfortune to only come into contact with these people so far.

But so long as you're doing something that makes you happy, why should you care what others think in the first place? Are you that insecure that you require the others to say well done good choice, good luck. People here don't care, and that's the bottom line, just do what you want to do.

Linda_Stuiv wrote:Hey all ....

I have had this concern for quite some time, and I stumbled upon the forum by chance.

I'm a 26 year-old Dutch lady,a psychologist, and I have recently found a nice job in Dubai. I moved to DXB last month. The main reason I moved to Dubai, when I have never resided outside The Netherlands before, is because of my fiance, who is a Syrian national.

Well I've gotten over the initial disbelief/denial, and moved on to anger and disappointment concerning the so-called "Western" community in Dubai.

Let me clarify:

My fiance is a junior doctor, and quite a good-looker, with a nice sense of fashion and style .... nevertheless:

1-I get frowned upon by at least half the "Westerners" I meet in malls and bars, who see me holding hands ...etc, with my fiance.

2-The people (South-African, Aussie, Brits and some other Europeans) at my workplace haven't stopped bombarding me with "advice" on dealing with "The Arabs" and how an Arab man can never be right for a european lady like me.

3-These same people (and many more, even if it's someone I've just met) keep on hinting at some "Unwritten rules" governing the behaviour of "Westerners" in Dubai, such as : "Avoid mingling with Arabs, unless they exhibit a clear and blatant pro-western lifestyle and thought" and "we should preserve the western community in Dubai" ....etc

4-Most European men I've met, act as if I'm fair game to them, as if being taken by an Arab man basically means that I'm single. The people I share a villa with in The Springs, keep on "introducing" (rather setting me up) with these single european guys, of which I see a new face every few days with a fancy car parked outside. It almost seems that being with an Arab man instigates something in westerners here., because I cab't imagine that the same would happen if I were with one of my "kind" ... i.e : a blonde-blue-eyed Dutchman.

5-Upon trying to argue all of the crap above, and letting people know what a wonderful man my fiance is, and how democratic and tolerant we should be, I'm not even given the time of the day for a reply, I just get frowned upon, and sad head-shakes by these people.

6-And ultimately when it seemed obvious that I wasn't about to let people who barely know me, influence my opinion on my fiance, I was "outcasted" from that "community", although I've had no direct confrontation, and regard myself as a very easy-going person and easy to get a long with.

It's as if going out/getting engaged to an Arab man is a slap in the face of a meticulously orchestrated "Western community" in Dubai.

I have been warned, by my fiance, and by other people, about this. But I just refused to believe that people who are tolerant and open-minded in their countries, can just turn into biased racists elsewhere, but sadly, it seems true.

I have a million incidents and stories to tell. From old Brit ladies in the ladies room telling me that I shouldn't hang out with an Arab, to Club bouncers in prestigious club to deny me and my fiance entrance with an obvious look of on their face......

The funny/sad thing is that it all seems to be under the surface .... Nobody ever talks about it. And most of those I met who have stayed in Dubai for some time, just follow the herd ....

What the hell??

I bet by jove 50% of those europeans are Brits

I bet by jove 50% of those europeans are Brits

Hmm that's an understatement. Don't get me wrong, I've had wonderful English friends.

But the percetage looks something like this:

60% English (The Scots are too nice, and the Irish have been stereotyped and oppressed themselves so they don't seem to exhibit the same racism)

20% South Africans (for obvious reasons)

10% Aussies

and the rest are a mixture.

Are you that insecure that you require the others to say well done good choice, good luck

Touche lol ....... almost , actually it was never about my choice. It was about the surprise/shock of this phenomenon, I would have had the same reaction if all the racism was directed towards the Indians, or Persians, not necessarily Arabs.

So you say these are a minority?

Let's see. What are the odds, that at least 90% of people I've spoken with exhibit this racism, yet they represent a small minority?

I've been to all the different malls, at least 30-40 different bars/nightclubs, I live in a complex filled with europeans, and I'm in a workplace which is at least 60-70% european filled.

Oh well, I guess I'm that "unlucky". But guess what? There are at least 2 "unlucky" people on this thread that supported my "claim. Also two more "unlucky" people sent me private messages complaining about the same ..... so I guess you must be the only "lucky" one

Almost everything I have sensed in more than a month indicates what I'm talking about. Yet you come here, and claim that ... what? freak coincidence? And you deem every logical/possible incidence I mentioned as "psycho-babble" ? How old are you dear? Just out of curiousity.

Linda

By the way you write, with an element of aggression and "with attitude", i am not surprised you and your b/f arn't terribly popular. Take that huge "chip off your shoulder" please.

If you cant resign yourself to life in Dubai or come to terms with how it is, then DXB airport is always less than 30 mins taxi ride away

ok lemme break down what you said:

1-you're a princess.

2-Get the hell out if you don't like our racism.

Well that's your opinion and you're entitled to it.

But how about something constructive to the issue at hand?

The reason this thread has an "attitude", which I do not deny, is because I'm frustrated. It is futile to tell you how nice or easy-going I am, because you'll only verify that when you get to know me. But I hope further "threads" show you.

I am angered by racist, and by ignorant people, and a mixture of both.

The phenomenon I'm talking about is clearly not exclusive to a few. Yet no body here (a western, since the non-westerners have agreed) has exhibited the slightest indication of acknowledging the problem.

From the responses, I'm either paranoid or a princess. Come on

Well .... thanks for your enlightening input I guess.

P.S: I don't know what you do in the face of a frustrating situation, but I tend to want to address it and fix it if I can. Not cower out.

Linda_Stuiv wrote:ok lemme break down what you said:

1-you're a princess.

2-Get the hell out if you don't like our racism.

Well that's your opinion and you're entitled to it.

But how about something constructive to the issue at hand?

The reason this thread has an "attitude", which I do not deny, is because I'm frustrated. It is futile to tell you how nice or easy-going I am, because you'll only verify that when you get to know me. But I hope further "threads" show you

I am angered by racist, and by ignorant people, and a mixture of both.

The phenomenon I'm talking about is clearly not exclusive to a few. Yet no body here (a western, since the non-westerners have agreed) has exhibited the slightest indication of acknowledging the problem.

From the responses, I'm either paranoid or a princess. Come on

Well .... thanks for your enlightening input I guess.

P.S: I don't know what you do in the face of a frustrating situation, but I tend to want to address it and fix it if I can. Not cower out.

Linda

you have many valid points. But its how you project yourself in dealing and discussing these issues. you are clearly angry and commpassionate about this.

But there is no need to be so agressive when people do not give you either the answers or do not totally agree with you.

On reading your posts you came over as very rude to Choc. She was merely giving you her honest opinion and trying to be sympathetically helpful.

You clearly have "blinkers on" and instead of reading as a whole you choose to disect and "read between the lines".

If you cannot be adult enough to take, like or disagree with what is said ,then you really shouldnt ask people.

Once again. I'd like to stick to the issue at hand, and have no desire to turn it into a personal vendetta between me and you or anyone.

If you have anything pertaining to the topic, you're welcome. If you don't and would like to give lessons on "attitude" and on how to "project" one's self .... then by all means, go ahead. But we're all adults here, and we can regard your lessons as "patronizing and pathetic" or "helpful".

Whatever it is, whether I was rude or not, is a matter of perspective, and your opinion on what went on between me and Choc is irrelevant really.

you have many valid points

Thank you, I'm filled with incomprehension on how to return this gracious gesture (inbetween calling me a juvenile and a princess)

I don't mind people disagreeing with me, but I do mind when people -instead of taking notice of it- dismiss it as non-existent. That is the epitome of patronizing/condescending attitude. It doesn't need between-lines-reading to see.

Now how about some of your own experiences/intake/comments on the issue?

forget about what other people think and how they look at you... as long as you are happy with your bf and he is happy with you, why do you have to care what other people's opinion?

If I have to care about what other people think of me and my relationship with my bf, then I would have no time to eat or sleep!!!

That's the point: I don't care.

Suppose I didn't have a bf (he's my fiance by the way).

I'm angered by the injustice of a small community which exists in the heart of the Middle East, and is so stubborn and hell-bent on keeping the stereotypes and bias alive, as if that's what makes them westerners and different (superior). Bf or no bf, the issue remains, and that's what I'd like input on.

Sadly bias, bigotry, prejudice and misunderstanding are to be found in the four corners of the planet. I don't really know whether Dubai is any worse than anywhere else. Maybe it's given a sharper edge and more focus because of the incredible mix in one place.

Your particular case is probably a personal example of what happens on the world stage... there is a lack of understanding and will to understand each other between the Muslim world and the West. Maybe if they started in schools teaching kids about each others beliefs and ways it might be a start....

Linda_Stuiv wrote:Once again. I'd like to stick to the issue at hand, and have no desire to turn it into a personal vendetta between me and you or anyone.

If you have anything pertaining to the topic, you're welcome. If you don't and would like to give lessons on "attitude" and on how to "project" one's self .... then by all means, go ahead. But we're all adults here, and we can regard your lessons as "patronizing and pathetic" or "helpful".

Whatever it is, whether I was rude or not, is a matter of perspective, and your opinion on what went on between me and Choc is irrelevant really.

you have many valid points

Thank you, I'm filled with incomprehension on how to return this gracious

gesture (inbetween calling me a juvenile and a princess)

I don't mind people disagreeing with me, but I do mind when people -instead of taking notice of it- dismiss it as non-existent. That is the epitome of patronizing/condescending attitude. It doesn't need between-lines-reading to see.

Now how about some of your own experiences/intake/comments on the issue?

Your tone says it all my dear - vendetta what vendetta, its no wonder you have such a narrow and angry viewpoint with regard to your b/f

Lessons in Attitude - lol it is you who give the lessons, me i just read and comment.

And yes you are right everything is a matter of perspective. But one doesn't always always see how one projects oneself - does one?

And finally for the record, no where in my post i have used the word "princess" or "juevenial". These are your words and your interpretations. Its easy to see how you view others in such a negative way, especially when you make up and put words in other peoples mouths.

You clearly have some deep rooted personal issue's, may i suggest some form of "Counciling" or "therapy"

Linda_Stuiv wrote:That's the point: I don't care.

and......................."Ironic quote of the year" goes too...........

LINDA


"dont care" indeed - it sounds like it to the rest of us

eeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkk i just noticed

"I'm a 26 year-old Dutch lady,a psychologist"


ewwwwwwwwww i think Linda cheated in her final exams


god help her patients/clients



she doesnt seem too brillaiant at psycho analayising herself either


Linda, if i were you i would ask for a refund

Sadly bias, bigotry, prejudice and misunderstanding are to be found in the four corners of the planet. I don't really know whether Dubai is any worse than anywhere else. Maybe it's given a sharper edge and more focus because of the incredible mix in one place.

Your particular case is probably a personal example of what happens on the world stage... there is a lack of understanding and will to understand each other between the Muslim world and the West. Maybe if they started in schools teaching kids about each others beliefs and ways it might be a start....

I agree Goodbai, I just hope I can make a change, although some seem to kick and scream in resistance oh well.

As for arniegang : it's cheated On her final exams, not in.

It's psycho analysis, not psycho analayising, that sounds like an island in the Pacific ocean.

It's brilliant , not brillaiant.

It's Juvenile, not Juevenial

It's Issues, not issue's

It's Counselling, not Counciling.

Ok .... now you were saying something about intelligence and cheating on exams? I totally missed it

But I'll give you a B for the effort.

P.S: You're yet to say anything about the topic itself, I repeat for the 3rd time

Linda_Stuiv wrote:

Sadly bias, bigotry, prejudice and misunderstanding are to be found in the four corners of the planet. I don't really know whether Dubai is any worse than anywhere else. Maybe it's given a sharper edge and more focus because of the incredible mix in one place.

Your particular case is probably a personal example of what happens on the world stage... there is a lack of understanding and will to understand each other between the Muslim world and the West. Maybe if they started in schools teaching kids about each others beliefs and ways it might be a start....

I agree Goodbai, I just hope I can make a change, although some seem to kick and scream in resistance oh well.

As for arniegang : it's cheated On her final exams, not in.

It's psycho analysis, not psycho analayising, that sounds like an island in the Pacific ocean.

It's brilliant , not brillaiant.

It's Juvenile, not Juevenial

It's Issues, not issue's

It's Counselling, not Counciling.

Ok .... now you were saying something about intelligence and cheating on exams? I totally missed it

But I'll give you a B for the effort.

P.S: You're yet to say anything about the topic itself, I repeat for the 3rd time

Thanks Linda for the B much appreciated. didn't do too well at skool and flunked most of my exams, i made my millions with my shrewd investments


I find that when it gets down to the level of splitting hairs over comprehension, it usually means people are in denial and it a means of making oneself look superior and a sign of weakness, as opposed too any form of constructive debate



Linda may i be so bold as to recommend some reading for you.

The Worry Cure and How To Have Kick Ass Ideas

By


Dr Robert Leahy
President of the International Assoc of Cognitive Psycho Therapy.