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After 25 years of marriage and a prior 7 years of courtship, we, as a couple at age 45, seem to be drifting apart.

I feel I have been insensitive to her emotional needs by being just who I am. By respecting her space and not interfering in her life's routine, I have mistakenly given her the impression as though I don't care. Which is not true.

The fact is I give space because I love her and she miscontrues it as my empathy.

The fact is I love her. And I am bad at expressing my love through lovvy-dubby stuff.... can't blame me... I am 45 years old.

I want to work seriously to work our relationship and make it a happy and fulfilling one for both of us.

I feel we are going through a post mid-life crisis and need to re-evaluate our priorities and commitment.

We're making a new beginning after she threatened divorce through Court and artibration proceedings were commenced.

I seek suggestions from all you good folk out there on how to make a woman happy. I reaaly want her to be happy with me... and to love, respect and communicate with me.

Some practical tips on what activities, gestures and talks that will help me reach my objective are welcome.

Thanks

that's a tough question really.....because what appeals to me might not appeal to your woman....

i think it's admirable you are making an effort to reconnect with her and are looking for suggestions....have you talked to her and found out what she is looking for in life and in your relationship??....is she on the same wavelength as you in regards to getting the spark back into your marriage??

i can relate to your situation and wish you the best of luck!

brute222 wrote:After 25 years of marriage and a prior 7 years of courtship, we, as a couple at age 45, seem to be drifting apart.

I feel I have been insensitive to her emotional needs by being just who I am. By respecting her space and not interfering in her life's routine, I have mistakenly given her the impression as though I don't care. Which is not true.

The fact is I give space because I love her and she miscontrues it as my empathy.

The fact is I love her. And I am bad at expressing my love through lovvy-dubby stuff.... can't blame me... I am 45 years old.

I want to work seriously to work our relationship and make it a happy and fulfilling one for both of us.

I feel we are going through a post mid-life crisis and need to re-evaluate our priorities and commitment.

We're making a new beginning after she threatened divorce through Court and artibration proceedings were commenced.

I seek suggestions from all you good folk out there on how to make a woman happy. I reaaly want her to be happy with me... and to love, respect and communicate with me.

Some practical tips on what activities, gestures and talks that will help me reach my objective are welcome.

Thanks

That's your problem .... you want to just keep her happy. Most women get bored if they are happy. Your relationship will become stronger if you can add wide range of emotions in your relationship, be unpredictable , be in control of the relationship and yes give her the roller coaster of emotions - show her your anger, love, hatred and affection which can rekindle the relationship.

Enough theory how do you apply?

In 45 yrs you must have a routine life and she must know what your likes and dislikes are...... if you are predictable become unpredictable, for example if she is done with her work call her us and tell her you have soemhing to say..... then pick her up and drive...... she will ask questions ......"where are you going?" what are you doing? blah blah blah... Just say "you will see" or throw some philosophical shit like "do you love to plan and see everything in life? Havent you ever felt to just give up the control relax and sit backa nd enjoy the show?" If she still asks question . STOP the car........ STOP the god damn car (I meant pull over) and open the pasenger's seat with car keys tingling in you hand and ask " Who owns the car? Who is the man? Who controls what you will be doing in next three hours that can be the best moment in your life?" This creates, suspense, shows dominance, unpredictability and is the beginning of seduction.

Take her somewhere which she has never done before like skydiving, scuba diving, quad biking. My fav is theme park and riding roller coaster. Or something simple like recalling best moments of your relationship while enjoying sunset scene in the beach.

She may question your change ....... which you can say "I have recently discovered the secret of happiness - living in the moment. Yesterday is history , tomorrow is a mystery , today I live every moment and make it a memory"

Dont try hard to keep her happy , piss her off, if she doesnt like a song, increase the volume and dance like monkey and make her laugh. heat - cool and chill....

desert surfer wrote:

brute222 wrote:After 25 years of marriage and a prior 7 years of courtship, we, as a couple at age 45, seem to be drifting apart.

I feel I have been insensitive to her emotional needs by being just who I am. By respecting her space and not interfering in her life's routine, I have mistakenly given her the impression as though I don't care. Which is not true.

The fact is I give space because I love her and she miscontrues it as my empathy.

The fact is I love her. And I am bad at expressing my love through lovvy-dubby stuff.... can't blame me... I am 45 years old.

I want to work seriously to work our relationship and make it a happy and fulfilling one for both of us.

I feel we are going through a post mid-life crisis and need to re-evaluate our priorities and commitment.

We're making a new beginning after she threatened divorce through Court and artibration proceedings were commenced.

I seek suggestions from all you good folk out there on how to make a woman happy. I reaaly want her to be happy with me... and to love, respect and communicate with me.

Some practical tips on what activities, gestures and talks that will help me reach my objective are welcome.

Thanks

That's your problem .... you want to just keep her happy. Most women get bored if they are happy. Your relationship will become stronger if you can add wide range of emotions in your relationship, be unpredictable , be in control of the relationship and yes give her the roller coaster of emotions - show her your anger, love, hatred and affection which can rekindle the relationship.

Enough theory how do you apply?

In 45 yrs you must have a routine life and she must know what your likes and dislikes are...... if you are predictable become unpredictable, for example if she is done with her work call her us and tell her you have soemhing to say..... then pick her up and drive...... she will ask questions ......"where are you going?" what are you doing? blah blah blah... Just say "you will see" or throw some philosophical tasty like "do you love to plan and see everything in life? Havent you ever felt to just give up the control relax and sit backa nd enjoy the show?" If she still asks question . STOP the car........ STOP the god damn car (I meant pull over) and open the pasenger's seat with car keys tingling in you hand and ask " Who owns the car? Who is the man? Who controls what you will be doing in next three hours that can be the best moment in your life?" This creates, suspense, shows dominance, unpredictability and is the beginning of seduction.

Take her somewhere which she has never done before like skydiving, scuba diving, quad biking. My fav is theme park and riding roller coaster. Or something simple like recalling best moments of your relationship while enjoying sunset scene in the beach.

She may question your change ....... which you can say "I have recently discovered the secret of happiness - living in the moment. Yesterday is history , tomorrow is a mystery , today I live every moment and make it a memory"

Dont try hard to keep her happy , piss her off, if she doesnt like a song, increase the volume and dance like monkey and make her laugh. heat - cool and chill....

Compleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetly agree....*slap on th ebutt*

Like we learned in business.....its not the fact of change that braught success.....it is the STIMULATION of change. Example...

600 labor workers worked in a factory....one day...they brightedned the lights....result...they worked better....

Further testing...they dimmed the lights...and they worked EVEN BETTER?!

Howcome?!

It doesnt really matter what level of brightness the lights were set on.

It was just the stimulation of CHANGE....

So dont worry wether what ur doing may be nice or now....etc...just make sure it is something different from the usual...

Love,
DD

brute222 wrote:After 25 years of marriage and a prior 7 years of courtship, we, as a couple at age 45, seem to be drifting apart.

I feel I have been insensitive to her emotional needs by being just who I am. By respecting her space and not interfering in her life's routine, I have mistakenly given her the impression as though I don't care. Which is not true.

The fact is I give space because I love her and she miscontrues it as my empathy.

The fact is I love her. And I am bad at expressing my love through lovvy-dubby stuff.... can't blame me... I am 45 years old.

I want to work seriously to work our relationship and make it a happy and fulfilling one for both of us.

I feel we are going through a post mid-life crisis and need to re-evaluate our priorities and commitment.

We're making a new beginning after she threatened divorce through Court and artibration proceedings were commenced.

I seek suggestions from all you good folk out there on how to make a woman happy. I reaaly want her to be happy with me... and to love, respect and communicate with me.

Some practical tips on what activities, gestures and talks that will help me reach my objective are welcome.

Thanks

your post just cauth my eye, hope things are better now, however, just wondered if you have tried living apart for a while?
xl

desert surfer wrote:

brute222 wrote:That's your problem .... you want to just keep her happy. Most women get bored if they are happy. Your relationship will become stronger if you can add wide range of emotions in your relationship, be unpredictable , be in control of the relationship and yes give her the roller coaster of emotions - show her your anger, love, hatred and affection which can rekindle the relationship.

Enough theory how do you apply?

In 45 yrs you must have a routine life and she must know what your likes and dislikes are...... if you are predictable become unpredictable, for example if she is done with her work call her us and tell her you have soemhing to say..... then pick her up and drive...... she will ask questions ......"where are you going?" what are you doing? blah blah blah... Just say "you will see" or throw some philosophical tasty like "do you love to plan and see everything in life? Havent you ever felt to just give up the control relax and sit backa nd enjoy the show?" If she still asks question . STOP the car........ STOP the god damn car (I meant pull over) and open the pasenger's seat with car keys tingling in you hand and ask " Who owns the car? Who is the man? Who controls what you will be doing in next three hours that can be the best moment in your life?" This creates, suspense, shows dominance, unpredictability and is the beginning of seduction.

Take her somewhere which she has never done before like skydiving, scuba diving, quad biking. My fav is theme park and riding roller coaster. Or something simple like recalling best moments of your relationship while enjoying sunset scene in the beach.

She may question your change ....... which you can say "I have recently discovered the secret of happiness - living in the moment. Yesterday is history , tomorrow is a mystery , today I live every moment and make it a memory"

Dont try hard to keep her happy , piss her off, if she doesnt like a song, increase the volume and dance like monkey and make her laugh. heat - cool and chill....

if a man pissed me off like that i'd leave him!