Dubai Forums Dubai Discussions Dubai General Chat

Hey. From Canada. My wife has never been to Dubai. She's a massive hometown girl. We have 2 kids. 6 months and 3.5 years. She doesn't want to move to Dubai. Expat women...how do you find it? Guys, anyone else been in a similar situation? How does the misus like being there now? What did you do to convince her? If you don't want to post stories feel free to pm me. Thanks!!

www.expatwoman.com
middle east section.

Loving the avatar!

giggsy wrote:Hey. From Canada. My wife has never been to Dubai. She's a massive hometown girl. We have 2 kids. 6 months and 3.5 years. She doesn't want to move to Dubai. Expat women...how do you find it? Guys, anyone else been in a similar situation? How does the misus like being there now? What did you do to convince her? If you don't want to post stories feel free to pm me. Thanks!!

I'm not an expat woman but since you also asked of guys, here it is:

Stay in Canada. If your wife does not want to come to Dubai she will only be miserable. Except for more sunny days and warm days Dubai has nothing that Canada doesn't have. Note that the summer months in Dubai are as unberable as the cold winter months in Canada.

What's more important? A better job for you or a happy wife and children? I think she would not be happy. Dubai might be a good place to visit and live temporarily (willingly) but beyond that not a place to be if you are going to miss Canada.

Note also that depending on your ethnic background you might suffer far more racism here than in Canada. For example if you are Indian/Pakistany Canadian you will be shocked at the sort of racism you will expirenced here as opposed to Canada. I've witnessed it.

Now if you must move to Canada because life in Canada is not good and Dubai is the only place for a job then come on down...

Let her decide for herself (she's 1/2 the relationship)...If you push her then she will be misarable and you will be miserable as she will rightly remind you she did not want to come to Dubai in the first place.

A thought is that she first visit and stay for a week or 2 to check it out and then decide...Also your kids are young so it might be "easier".

giggsy wrote:Hey. From Canada. My wife has never been to Dubai. She's a massive hometown girl. We have 2 kids. 6 months and 3.5 years. She doesn't want to move to Dubai. Expat women...how do you find it? Guys, anyone else been in a similar situation? How does the misus like being there now? What did you do to convince her? If you don't want to post stories feel free to pm me. Thanks!!

you win lottery.

she stay canada you come dubai. she take care kids you get desi and russia gurlfriend.

It's not something you can really ask other women....it totally depends on her attitude.
If she is not openminded about moving to another place, it's going to be hard I reckon. Best thing is to visit and see if she likes it at all, but even so, if she is not happy about the idea, she will only see the negative sides.
Good luck...

giggsy wrote:Hey. From Canada. My wife has never been to Dubai. She's a massive hometown girl. We have 2 kids. 6 months and 3.5 years. She doesn't want to move to Dubai. Expat women...how do you find it? Guys, anyone else been in a similar situation? How does the misus like being there now? What did you do to convince her? If you don't want to post stories feel free to pm me. Thanks!!

To be honest mate, a lot of people don't need much convincing to come to Dubai...male or female!

Give it a go. I mean, c'mon - relocating (and possibly relocating back) has never been easier than it is today.

And now actually sounds like the best time to try for you guys, given the age of your kids...

giggsy wrote:She doesn't want to move to Dubai.

Telling us why not would help.

Concord wrote:A thought is that she first visit and stay for a week or 2 to check it out and then decide...

I second that. Many people find Dubai different to what they expected after a visit.

Kids at a good age to begin in Dubai. You won't have to export them for 10-15 years (when they start doing drugs and it's too risky to keep them here).

If she doesn't want to come, she don't come. The only way is to let her come and see Dubai, then she can make up her own mind as, contrary to the opinions of some people here, women do have them.



Knight

Thing is...expat life is not for everybody...I like it and wouldn't want it to end any time soon. But I do believe it takes a certain type of person.
Still...if you don't try you'll never know...some people may surprise themselves.

mrs Robinson wrote:Thing is...expat life is not for everybody...

Yes, I do agree.....then again there's no harm in trying....

reviewer wrote:

mrs Robinson wrote:Thing is...expat life is not for everybody...

Yes, I do agree.....then again there's no harm in trying....

and I agree with that as well...how cosy

mrs Robinson wrote:

reviewer wrote:

mrs Robinson wrote:Thing is...expat life is not for everybody...

Yes, I do agree.....then again there's no harm in trying....

and I agree with that as well...how cosy

You're a real spice...

Time to get a new wife...

Fair chance you'll be able to trade up to a much nicer, prettier and far more supportive "trolley dolly" here in the UAE anyway.

craigindubai wrote:Time to get a new wife...

That would be more expensive...

craigindubai wrote:Time to get a new wife...

Fair chance you'll be able to trade up to a much nicer, prettier and far more supportive "trolley dolly" here in the UAE anyway.

thats a pretty *&&*^%$ up analysis Craig. Just because she may not want to come here doesn't make her a trade in for an air headed bimbo meat or chicken trolley dolly.

Meh....

I'm sure that he's not here just for his own amusement. I'm pretty sure that he's over here for the professional opportunities that Dubai has afforded him. The way I look at it, if she doesn't want to put in the hard yards so they can build a better life for their family, well your better of finding someone more supportive of your ambitions.

Sometimes a better life is not just about the money

craigindubai wrote: The way I look at it, if she doesn't want to put in the hard yards so they can build a better life for their family, well your better of finding someone more supportive of your ambitions.

Or... perhaps she's better off without someone who is prepared to put their own individual 'ambitions' and money before marriage and family.

It's the 21st century... the door swings both ways. Make sure it doesn't hit you in the arse.

Apparently....you don't need to leave your wife behind to sample the delights of the trolly dolly brigade...

mrs Robinson wrote:Apparently....you don't need to leave your wife behind to sample the delights of the trolly dolly brigade...

Hmmm... Good result that. Everyone's happy!

scarlet wrote:Sometimes a better life is not just about the money

If that was the case... What's he doing here in the first place?

scarlet wrote:Sometimes a better life is not just about the money

If that was the case... What's he doing here in the first place?

Dr.D wrote:

craigindubai wrote: The way I look at it, if she doesn't want to put in the hard yards so they can build a better life for their family, well your better of finding someone more supportive of your ambitions.

Or... perhaps she's better off without someone who is prepared to put their own individual 'ambitions' and money before marriage and family.

It's the 21st century... the door swings both ways. Make sure it doesn't hit you in the arse.

Couldn't agree more. Perhaps she should take over the role of maine earner in the family so he can go back home and take care of teh kids and secure the marriage. What a home wrecker.

Well Craig...he's not here in the first place. And believe it or not, a woman can, and in this case does earn more money than her husband. So her career is one reason why she doesn't want to leave. As I said, she is a home body. We live in the same neighbourhood she's always lived in her entire life. Which means our kids get to go to a really good school and she lives four blocks away from her parents which means a nice little support system. She doesn't want to leave that for uncertainty and no support network. She also wants her kids to grow up knowing their family. All these reasons are why we are not there. My thinking though is that we're in and out in a couple of years. Dubai would never be a forever thing. I've been and personally don't think it's a place that could replace Canada on a permanent basis. But to go for a couple years while the kids are small and make some quick money...which I know is not easy these days. But with kids small and no support network we wouldn't have an extravagant lifestyle. But that's another post for another day. I already turned a move down once for her. And I'd do it again as I do have a good career here. Just checking for some insight to see. And to answer another post, me and my family are as white as can be so I don't think I'd have to worry about racism...at least like an India/Pakastani. What I do worry about is my wife being oogled (sp?) followed and looked at like a prostitute. I've heard some horror stories. I know things are different for men in that culture. Anyway, thanks for the responses everyone. I'm looking for a balance, because as one post aptly wrote, the door swings both ways.

giggsy wrote:Well Craig...he's not here in the first place. And believe it or not, a woman can, and in this case does earn more money than her husband. So her career is one reason why she doesn't want to leave. As I said, she is a home body. We live in the same neighbourhood she's always lived in her entire life. Which means our kids get to go to a really good school and she lives four blocks away from her parents which means a nice little support system. She doesn't want to leave that for uncertainty and no support network. She also wants her kids to grow up knowing their family. All these reasons are why we are not there. My thinking though is that we're in and out in a couple of years. Dubai would never be a forever thing. I've been and personally don't think it's a place that could replace Canada on a permanent basis. But to go for a couple years while the kids are small and make some quick money...which I know is not easy these days. But with kids small and no support network we wouldn't have an extravagant lifestyle. But that's another post for another day. I already turned a move down once for her. And I'd do it again as I do have a good career here. Just checking for some insight to see. And to answer another post, me and my family are as white as can be so I don't think I'd have to worry about racism...at least like an India/Pakastani. What I do worry about is my wife being oogled (sp?) followed and looked at like a prostitute. I've heard some horror stories. I know things are different for men in that culture. Anyway, thanks for the responses everyone. I'm looking for a balance, because as one post aptly wrote, the door swings both ways.

Seems to me that the decision has already been made. Why are you even asking??? Unless of course you do actually want to take the opportunity......
Nothing ever replaces home. But what will you be saying in 20yrs? That was an amazing experience in Dubai?? Or... I wonder what would of happened if I had of taken that job in Dubai??

And whilst some of teh stories you have heard may be true, a lot a probably grossly exaggerated too!

giggsy wrote:Well Craig...he's not here in the first place. And believe it or not, a woman can, and in this case does earn more money than her husband. So her career is one reason why she doesn't want to leave. As I said, she is a home body. We live in the same neighbourhood she's always lived in her entire life. Which means our kids get to go to a really good school and she lives four blocks away from her parents which means a nice little support system. She doesn't want to leave that for uncertainty and no support network. She also wants her kids to grow up knowing their family. All these reasons are why we are not there. My thinking though is that we're in and out in a couple of years. Dubai would never be a forever thing. I've been and personally don't think it's a place that could replace Canada on a permanent basis. But to go for a couple years while the kids are small and make some quick money...which I know is not easy these days. But with kids small and no support network we wouldn't have an extravagant lifestyle. But that's another post for another day. I already turned a move down once for her. And I'd do it again as I do have a good career here. Just checking for some insight to see. And to answer another post, me and my family are as white as can be so I don't think I'd have to worry about racism...at least like an India/Pakastani. What I do worry about is my wife being oogled (sp?) followed and looked at like a prostitute. I've heard some horror stories. I know things are different for men in that culture. Anyway, thanks for the responses everyone. I'm looking for a balance, because as one post aptly wrote, the door swings both ways.

those are just that...horror stories....
It's the same here as everywhere else in the world...men look at women and shock horror...some women look at men
It's usually ok when they are nice Italian or French men, then everybody is happy and flattered, even when some of them are real prats...but cause over here it's Arabs or Indian...it's suddenly a bad thing...
the old double standard me thinks...
I have never felt treatened in Dubai, just don't walk around half naked and your wife will be ok...just ignore the stares if they bother you.
I'd like to see what other men would be like after living in a labour camp, working 6 (or 7) days a week, for 12 hours a day without seeing their family for years sometimes...

There you go...balance views ....do you need a bit more giggsy...

I'm very glad to hear that those stories are over exagerated. And to touch on the Indian vs. the Italian...my wife tells me horror stories of when she travelled through Italy during her college days. I think for some people, being starred at, no matter who is doing the starring, is just plain creepy. My wife is a teacher so she doesn't dress like a tollop anyway so I can't see any problems there.

Craig...the 20 years...it's been three since I turned down another opportunity in Dubai and I've been saying that since then so...I know about the 20 year angle. (I turned it down because of the job and the company three years ago...not the wife) I'm on here looking for similar experiences and different perspectives because no...the decision has not been made yet. But I'd never throw my marriage and kids away for Dubai or anywhere. Just looking for an experience for a few years. Me in advertising...my wife a teacher...we should be able to make some money and have a great time while doing it.

Thanks to everyone for their input. That's why we're here on the forum I guess!

giggsy wrote:I'm very glad to hear that those stories are over exagerated. And to touch on the Indian vs. the Italian...my wife tells me horror stories of when she travelled through Italy during her college days. I think for some people, being starred at, no matter who is doing the starring, is just plain creepy. My wife is a teacher so she doesn't dress like a tollop anyway so I can't see any problems there.

Craig...the 20 years...it's been three since I turned down another opportunity in Dubai and I've been saying that since then so...I know about the 20 year angle. (I turned it down because of the job and the company three years ago...not the wife) I'm on here looking for similar experiences and different perspectives because no...the decision has not been made yet. But I'd never throw my marriage and kids away for Dubai or anywhere. Just looking for an experience for a few years. Me in advertising...my wife a teacher...we should be able to make some money and have a great time while doing it.

Thanks to everyone for their input. That's why we're here on the forum I guess!

A word of warning: I know another Canadian in advertising who came to Dubai with the intention of making a fast buck for a couple of years and getting out. That was in 1988. He's still here. And broke.

The advertising world here is NOTHING (and I emphasise that strongly) like you think it will be or will be led to believe it will be. You will be made promises that are never kept. You will see zero originality and creativity, you will be frustrated at every turn particularly if you try to apply the normal standards and systems used in North America or Europe. You will have to learn how to speak 'Lemoncheese'.



Knight

giggsy wrote:I'm very glad to hear that those stories are over exagerated. And to touch on the Indian vs. the Italian...my wife tells me horror stories of when she travelled through Italy during her college days. I think for some people, being starred at, no matter who is doing the starring, is just plain creepy. My wife is a teacher so she doesn't dress like a tollop anyway so I can't see any problems there.

Craig...the 20 years...it's been three since I turned down another opportunity in Dubai and I've been saying that since then so...I know about the 20 year angle. (I turned it down because of the job and the company three years ago...not the wife) I'm on here looking for similar experiences and different perspectives because no...the decision has not been made yet. But I'd never throw my marriage and kids away for Dubai or anywhere. Just looking for an experience for a few years. Me in advertising...my wife a teacher...we should be able to make some money and have a great time while doing it.

Thanks to everyone for their input. That's why we're here on the forum I guess!

If she got offended at Italian guys 20yrs ago... Ummm.... well... She's going to get offended here as well. Whilst the Italian boys will be up front enoughto whistle, etc. The guys around here will be more likely to be staring in shock or wonderment. All the same, there will be looks!

Think you need your wife to look at the positives, not the negatives. Then again, being in advertising, I'm sure you can distract her appropriately.