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I have been loving my wife even before we met each other. Our 11 years of relationship including 7 years of marriage (in the name of God) has been blessed with one beautiful child (3yo). We consider we are blessed with all we have know (job, financial, life, child). We had great times as couple and family.

This big problem came suddenly when I was not home all the time due to work abroad frequently.
Now that she asked for a divorce and admitted she had relationship with no apparent/logical reason (she admitted I've done nothing bad and no one compares to me) with other man (apparently she 'found' her 'true love' or 'soul mate'). The man met her couple of times when I was abroad and they made love (she admitted, but whether it's true or she use it as an ultimate 'weapon' so I would divorce her, I don't care and think positively).

I'm purely a family man and come from family/social environment that divorcing is a taboo and I believe in God that when He chose us to be together, it must be good.

I have taken the positive way and consider it as a blessing. I consider it as an emotional problem from her (she's so emotionally sensitive and changes her mind a lot, Gemini I guess). I have forgiven her and still love her so much even it hurts so bad. The other main reason because we have great child, I want us to be always together, and child custody/support is not an option for me (even we both know that I will win as she's the guilty one). I promise that I will never divorce her as long as I live and we have the child. I promise that I will do anything to make it work. I promise that I will always be there for her no matter what happen. I expect her to come back and we re-reconcile our marriage, if it's not for me, then at least for our child.

Am I crazy? Is it true unconditional love?

Mate, shit like this won't repair normally, if she comes back it's for all the wrong reasons and things won't ever been the same probably..



if it didn't work the first time, it won't work the second time, I know it's not what you want to hear, but I think thats the likely outcome, you could always try the "lets be friends" approach...


Sorry mate

yes you are crazy.

I'm sure good things will come. Keep praying.

Cybix wrote:if it didn't work the first time, it won't work the second time, I know it's not what you want to hear, but I think thats the likely outcome, you could always try the "lets be friends" approach...
Sorry mate

I know it won't be the same again. But I guess it would be only on my side. If I would be 'Ok' (accept & forgive) with it, then I hope it would be Ok.

I got faith, hope, and love. If it wasn't for the sake of God, my love to family, and our child, I could have divorce her.

We've discussed and our main goal is to always take care our child together. For this, yes I even propose 'let's be friend' thing to have a separate bed/bedroom. Let her not to love me (even though I still love her) as long as we could raise our child together under the same roof. I would be happy enough at least. She's not buying it yet, she's still in denial.

I don't believe in child custody/support because in the end I believe it will not work (although I know my proposal also won't work 100%, but at least for now the child would not see until she's old enough to understand). I believe it will not work at all when she will get married to this man (she admitted), soon after I divorce her.

It's clear for me that she uses 'I don't love you anymore' reason to cover up 'divorce me because I want to get married with my soulmate' reason, but she never admit it. She's in denial that we never had loved each other (at least she never loved me these years). I believe if it wasn't love, if God forbid, we would never be together in the first place. We would never have our child which is a fruit of love.

Love is blind, but it's in bad time and situation. I believe she's in denial emotionally, everything she said and use for 'weapons' don't work and will never work on me (and to law/court case if she files it). She knows it all, but still.

I take it positively. Everything is a blessing. I take it as an alert from God that we should get back on track and seek help only to Him. I believe God has prepare some plans and good things for us.

You should never stay together for the sake of the 'children'. Tis better to bring them up in a separated relationship/family than to bring them up on one of deceit, mistrust and no love.

As for the custody thing, just because she is the one who did the wrong thing, do not automatically assume you will get custody. Sadly the world doesn't work this way.

Depends how important a loving relationship is to you!

Don't stay together for the child, they feed off the tension..... even if you are good actors! I have first hand knowledge of this!

The best solution is to go seperate ways and be friends for the 'sake of the kids'!

Best of luck! and remember... there is a reason for everything.... maybe there are even better things to come!

Sorry if I am rude but think about this what has that guy got that she actually made love to him but to u not. One thing about relationship's after seeing a lot of people is that be different but be yourself. What have u and your wife done not ur child have done for fun. When u fall in love ur all over the person and vice versa but their comes a time where it becomes boring.

Have u tried say doing something totally different for ur wife for a change. I bet u can predict ur every move of ur wife and ur wife can predict ur moves but way better than u think so she kinda expects that it will land up the same way.

Example my best friend had a problem with his girl as in they fought real bad and in real bad on the verge of breaking up but he loves this girl very much and wont let her go like all ppl in love. Now a normal guy would say try to call her and cheer her up or take her out for candle light dinner maybe buy her a gift like a dress or a necklace or maybe a box of chocolates.

Now my best friend what he did even I didnot expect that. He bought two fishes and a bowl which is basically buying an aquarium and stuff and a big bottle of coke and then he climbed two storeys via a pipe to go to her balcony with a rose in his mouth and went and apologized to her and she got back with him.

My point is not to say that u gotta do something like him. It is stupid and it is crazy but yet that makes a point that he loves being crazy around her. He didnt take anything normal but in his normal state he did something different.

U should try something different. Yes!! we are human beings and we cant be different always but u can try. Give her something totally unexpected even when making love. If u being different doesnt work and stuff then I suggest you go ur separte ways because its good for both of u but I doubt ur child will have a happy life because any child needs a mom and dad's love in order to grow. I hope my friend it doesnt reach the divorce part.

Since the matter is of such magnitude .. I shall for once try and give a sane reply.
I agree one hundred percent with Ian in that using children as the only objective to be together is only delaying the inevitable. I admire your courage and respect ur commitment both as a husband and father. But if she doesnt see it that way there really isnt much u can do about it.
Everyone has differences Ive been at the verge of divorce even though I have three children although our fights were due to more mundane reasons and things are much better now.
A lot of people will tell u a lot of things but in a situation such as yours its only natural to be impulsive. All I can say from what Ive seen many times is that if shes made up her mind u need to find out what the root cause is cos obviously u seem like a swell guy and something uve done or failed to do has coused this. The soul mate story is a load of crock. If u succeed in fault finding maybe u could address the issue a lot better.
Thos next part is the worst advise u can get so dont pay attention but I have to say it cos its me.... If I were in ur shoes I would find out who the mothafocka is and break him in half.... but thats just me ........

I feel sorry for your situation. But you cannot force someone to stay with you, and staying together for the sake of the child is not a good excuse, if anything your child will end up resenting and maybe hating you, for forcing his/her mother to be unhappy in a relationship she doesn't want. The child will end up blaming themselves.

Sadly I think your motives are pretty selfish. Although you still love her, clearly she is not the right person for you. Let her go and be with someone she will be happy with. Your child will understand and time will heal your heart and you will find someone who will truly make you happy.

SHE WAS IN ANOTHER MANS ARMS >> MOANING HIS NAME NOT YOURS ... sorry but its true .. things will never be the same ...

If you can short things out .. good luck . if you cant just give her the divorce papers and move on .. inshallah you will find someone else out there to make you happy ...

Arab_Beauty wrote::shock:
SHE WAS IN ANOTHER MANS ARMS >> MOANING HIS NAME NOT YOURS ... sorry but its true .. things will never be the same ...

If you can short things out .. good luck . if you cant just give her the divorce papers and move on .. inshallah you will find someone else out there to make you happy ...

i see u know how to make things sound gross, eh?

seen

check it homie let the HO' ride .. once a trick always a trick no question ..

as far as the love issue be goin .. feel me on this .. took me a couple of minutes to innovate the thought ... but love is that feelin that makes your heart beat faster an pump more blood through ur body.. it gives u that oozy refreshin feelin right .?.

now i know you answerd that with a hell yeah

so hear this ... when that lil homie of yours raises in your pants an gets all hard .. its cause your eyes done caught sight of a fine booty shakin it proper .. an ur heart started beatin faster gushin more blood down there to make it steel ..

same feelin as the previous pragraph huh....

so picture this .. ho's is a dime a dozen as the sayin goes .. one bird down a hundred more too goo brother ... dont limit urself ..

live by my motto " why ruin the life of one woman ... when you can make a 100 happy "


an ohhh yea ... for god sake .. stop callin it love making

say it like it is ... F U CKin eachother ..

i mean love makin sound all soft an mushy .... but F in now that sound rough an hard .... i mean thats how the ladies want it .... aint i right women? yea i know...

holla

didnt know we had fity cent on da forum... Im sure the poor dude who posted is crying by now... I mean here we have a guy pouring his heart out and the advise is to plug the living daylights out of a hundred more chicks.... I rest me case

Oh come on Jamal is hilarious - nice one dude! I mean homie!

GOD IS GREAT. For He never let down people who keep the faith in Him.
Praise and thank Lord Jesus, for He answered my prayers. I believe if we do it purely with love, hope, and faith, God will provide what we ask.

The situation has been turned back 180 degree. After I almost gave up and were willing to let her go (with some consequences), my wife realized, is sorry, apologize, and promise sincerely that bad things will not repeat and we're going for a new life for the better future. It may not be recovered soon, but I have faith in it especially with God there's nothing impossible.

Thanks for everyone who has been supporting. For the ones who have been mocking, just grow up a little bit. There's time for being serious, there's time for having fun. God bless you all.

I rest my case and hope for the future.

Hey, congratulations, i hope everything becomes better and better, i am really happy for you..

Hi...

I am a new member and I just read your topic today (I know its late to reply)

I really really hope everything is gone fine between you and your wife...

I had a similar situation like yours with my girl-friend... however, your's is a more complicated situation as there is a child involved.

I had with her (my girl-friend) the best 4 years of my life... our friends around us used to envy us for such an amazing relationship... all our friends used to call us the icon of romance!!! we where selfless, romantic to a very crazy level...

and with no valid reason, she changed 180 degrees!!! the last 12 months almost I was struggling with her... she started doing things she is not supposed to do in a relationship (I dont want to get into the details, but to make it clear it does not involve another person in her life) it was things that would end a relationship!!!

she finally asked for forgiveness, and I did forgive her (thinking that we are all human and we do mistakes)... but she did it again... then she come back asking for another chance... and I do forgive her because I love her and I dont want to loose her.

I always asked my self, if the problem with me indirectly??? I always asked her if I am missing anything or is there anything I can do to make it work like before... but the answer is always no... that nothing wrong with me... I am the perfect man... the most romantic... the most crazy... the most respected... but the problem is with her...

she asked to break up... she have no reasons... she want to have space...

I have finally accepted... I was glade we are not married (I was about to propose her the coming summer)

The main reason made me accept (with broken heart) that if I married her and we had a child and this situation happens *again* it will be a very complicated problem.

it has been only one month on our break up and I really feel a big gap in my life!!! I started to hate her... I never ever believed that things would change 180 degrees this way!!!

I just wanted to share my story too... as I felt it is similar to the story of the author of this topic...

unfortunately, there are people who will never appreciate what they got... because if they have faith in god and they say "THANK YOU" they will always live happy...

someguy wrote:GOD IS GREAT. For He never let down people who keep the faith in Him.
Praise and thank Lord Jesus, for He answered my prayers. I believe if we do it purely with love, hope, and faith, God will provide what we ask.

The situation has been turned back 180 degree. After I almost gave up and were willing to let her go (with some consequences), my wife realized, is sorry, apologize, and promise sincerely that bad things will not repeat and we're going for a new life for the better future. It may not be recovered soon, but I have faith in it especially with God there's nothing impossible.

Thanks for everyone who has been supporting. For the ones who have been mocking, just grow up a little bit. There's time for being serious, there's time for having fun. God bless you all.

I rest my case and hope for the future.

This thread is more suited for religious forums i guess..

A piece : Leave the Lords of the world to look after some real trouble.

oh my GOD .. i am speechlessssssss .. congradulation never the less ..

hey Mister I know its not the right time but cheer up
I am not an expert in such issues
But elders say no advice is unworthy of being heard
I would say try your best but think about the end result
Its not the same happy family reunion !!!is it???
Why dont you do the same and find your soulmate or truelove?
Thats why we say that our first love is unforgettable ....so you see there are other loves to be explored
So I would say EXPLORE
TC
and cheer up buddy cause you can go through this with a sad face or a happy face it does not change situation but at least think of your child

quatroporte wrote:
she finally asked for forgiveness, and I did forgive her (thinking that we are all human and we do mistakes)... but she did it again... then she come back asking for another chance... and I do forgive her because I love her and I dont want to loose her.

I always asked my self, if the problem with me indirectly??? I always asked her if I am missing anything or is there anything I can do to make it work like before... but the answer is always no... that nothing wrong with me... I am the perfect man... the most romantic... the most crazy... the most respected... but the problem is with her...

Well she has done something wrong and you just forgave her - 2 or more times! wtf? Well I were you I will make her work for it. Each time you forgave her she lost attraction.........then you asked if the problem was with u! lol that almost squealed the attraction she had for you. Then uou have committed the unpardonable sin - you blamed her for everything.

salam brother
nice to hear that...i feel happy that u both r once again together..
i joined recently bt hv become attached to this forum....
indeed allah is almighty all powerful....he can do anything if he wishes..

MaaaD wrote:yes you are crazy.

i like this one