From the Sunday Mail:
"24 June 2007
ACCUSED.. OF HAVING SEX WITH HIS BIKE
Women 'caught man in act'
Exclusive by Billy Paterson
A MAN has been charged with having sex with his bike.
Robert Stewart was allegedly caught in the act by two terrified cleaners who walked into his bedroom in a hostel.
Stewart has denied the accusation, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink.
The 51-year-old bachelor was charged with the bizarre sexual offence after he was disturbed by the cleaner and her colleague in a private hostel in Ayr.
The charge alleges he conducted himself in a disorderly manner, simulated sex with a bicycle and continued to do so while naked from the waist down in the presence of two female employees."
Another reason for finding that foot pump!!!!!!!!!!!