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Really funny and so true!

When you have to visit a public loo there is invariably a line of women,
you smile politely and take your place, it finally gets to your turn,
you check for feet under the cubicle doors. Every one is occupied.....
but eventually a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the
woman leaving the

cubicle.

You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has

been so long you are about to wet your knickers! The dispenser for the
modern "seat covers" is handy, but empty. You would hang your handbag on
a door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but
quickly drape it around your neck, yank down your knickers, and assume
"The Position."

In this position your ageing, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake.
You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the
seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Position." To take your
mind off your trembling thighs for a moment you reach for - horror or
horrors - an empty toilet paper dispenser. Your thighs start to shake
more. You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday
- the one that's still in your handbag which is now burning your neck &
shoulders with the weight. So you contort your arm into a very unnatural
position and start to fumble around in the deep dark depths of your
handbag for that small crumpled 'used' tissue no bigger than your
thumbnail.

Someone pushes your door and because the latch doesn't work it hits your

head which is bent over from holding the hanging handbag, and you start
to topple backward. "Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door
and drop the precious, tiny, crumpled tissue you had only just retrieved
with your index finger into an unknown puddle on the floor.......if that
isn't enough you lose your balance altogether and gravity pulls you down
...... directly onto the TOILET SEAT.

It is wet, of course, you bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too
late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ &
life form

that lives on the uncovered seat. By this time, the automatic sensor on
the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a
stream of water like a fire hose into the bowl which sprays a fine mist
of water that covers your bum and runs down your legs along with the
various life forms and down into your dishevelled knickers which have
now dropped down to your ankles. The flush somehow sucks everything down
with such force that you

grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in
too.

At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the
wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe yourself with a piece
of gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out conspicuously
to the

sinks. You can't figure out how to operate the taps, so you run your
hands underneath it grateful for the 2 drops there, then around the
basin itself.

You go to the towel dispenser past the line of women still waiting,
where of course there are no paper towels so you move over to the hand
blower, which, yes you've guessed it, also doesn't work. You are no
longer able to smile politely to the women, but there is an unspoken
understanding between you all.

A kind soul at the very end of the line points out that you have a piece
of toilet paper trailing from your shoe (Where was that when you NEEDED
it??)

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and
left the Men's. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is
your handbag hanging around your neck?"

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with public loo's. It
also finally explains to the men what really does take us so long and
also answers their other commonly asked question about why women go to
the loo in pairs.

It's so the other one can hold the door, hang onto your handbag and hand
you Kleenex under the door!

It`s so true. Damn public toilets!!! I hate them!!

that was hilarious

Choco

either u r running shot of ideas or you have promised to make us bore with ur "cut , copy and past posts".

why do u not find some new boy friend

Facts of public loooo...........very much true!!

HP,

You clearly just can't relate to the story as 'you're not a girl'. It was the ladies of the forum.

Get over it.

You have helped open the eyes of many men here

Cheers,

D

Chocoholic wrote:HP,

You clearly just can't relate to the story as 'you're not a girl'. It was the ladies of the forum.

Get over it.

There is always a girl inside a man and there is always a man inside a girl . I would like to know the problems . Can i have a paid internship wid u for 3 months ?

hahaha real nice read.. Chocs thanks for solving the mystery. Tough life. .. We are from a superior planet.. we can stand n deliver... hahah I remember us having peing competitions in school days, how long can one pee on a straight line, who can draw the biggest circle on ground while peeing.. hahaha

St.Lucifer wrote:hahaha real nice read.. Chocs thanks for solving the mystery. Tough life. .. We are from a superior planet.. we can stand n deliver... hahah I remember us having peing competitions in school days, how long can one pee on a straight line, who can draw the biggest circle on ground while peeing.. hahaha

Did u have to mention that on here

If women got problems on public loos, men gets the fair share, it smells.

I think in the UK, a woman invented a device especialy for wonen to use so they can urinate standing up,This would sort it out choco don't u think?Very nice story.We men r so fortunte.

he he he
loved it! we do face difficulties but i would never consider men so fortunate nor trade my equipment with them.

^ heh heh. of course that is subjective.
thanks.. this shattered the squeaky-clean female image in my mind. I thought female loos are sterile, shiny, pinkish, and smell like flowers in spring.