sorry ladies no hard feelings, just picked it up from a forwarded mail
dint understand a few of those but what the heck
Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.
Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friend.
My wife is going to kill me. But you look like my wife, so that's Ok!
Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both.
Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone.
I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: We were both crazy about girls.
When women go wrong, men go right after them.
A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning
What a strange thing man is; and what a stranger thing woman
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
A girl phoned me the other day and said ... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.