Strawberries wrote:Indeed non-Muslims do focus on what muslim women wear because it is obvious that for some it is different to non-Muslims whereas that is not the case with men. But I stand by what I said initially when I was refering to Muslims, in my experience many focus alot more on what women wear than men.
Fair enough - I'll accept that in your experience muslims focus more on what women wear.
Strawberries wrote:
I am aware there is also a 'dress code' for men, but I am talking about what I actually see practised not what is taught. I see Muslim men not following this and nobody mentions it but when women don't follow it thats another story...
I'm not sure what your point about the dress code for men not being observed - we are instructed to cover up in public and wear clothes from neck to below the knee.
Most Muslim women do not wear a hijab or a veil (as neither are compulsory under Islam).
Strawberries wrote:Also do you think I could visit all Muslim countries and wear what 'I choose' and expect men to "cast down their eyes and be righteous" ... this is not the case in the experiences of women I have spoken with, instead they talk about being "stared at and gropped" and the blame is put soley on the women.
I do believe that on balance as a woman you'd be more respected in practice in a Muslim country than in a non-Muslim country.
And are you sure that Muslims blame the woman soley for a man groping a woman?
The yardstick should surely be whether women are bothered more or less in Muslim societies. I would submit that like most catholics would balk at even the idea of groping a nun in a habit, most Muslims would have the same view of groping a woman in a hijab or head covering. Are there, however, catholics who would grope a nun or muslims who are leches? Of course there are - but I would not categorise all of them for the misdemeanors of the few.
Strawberries wrote:I do believe women have a responsibility but unfortunately the responsibilty that men also have is not emphasised enough! So how much choice do women have in some countries?... the choice of being gropped or not?
Not emphasised enough by whom? Is there someone out there saying its ok to molest/harass women?
Strawberries wrote:A close friend of mine did choose to start wearing Hijab several years ago and I still remember the comments she made afew weeks later... she quite excitedly told me that she gets even more attention from guys now (this is in a non-Muslim country). Despite her appearance, to us close friends she was known as being obssessed with guys and a tease. I'm not meaning to have a go at Muslims here or disrespect those wearing Hijab but I want to say that a persons conduct is more important then their appearance and often people blindly follow the 'rules' without understanding the values.
Absolutely agree - wearing the hijab is just part of comporting oneself in society. I have many Christian friends who are ladies and comport themselves in a very respectable way and are indistinguishable in conduct with Muslim ladies in their demeanor and dress.
The point is that both sets of women do not flaunt their bodies - they at least cover up and act 'lady like'. The Hijab and veil are just pieces of cloth, after all.
Strawberries wrote:So on a spiritual level both are equal and yet more importance is given to women than men? how is this?
Spirtual matters = no difference - umm, how else can I explain this... all matters to do with piety, how we think, how we pray, how we will be rewarded for actions etc -all are equal (and explicitly equal) in the Quran.
Due to biological differences, society gives women and children higher priority/importance - this is not something that is solely found within religion. It happens in disaster situations (women and children first), it happens in law, in employment regulations (eg maternity) and also in more trivial matters such as sport.
Strawberries wrote:The more importance given to a person, the more protected that person is... the more protected they are the more hidden away they are... and therefore the less freedom they have which is something I greatly value. I for one am glad I'm not a Queen
Most women would love to be cherished like the Queen or a precious jewel.
You are missing an important part of the whole ethos of Islamic modest dress - women cover up only when they come out into wider society where men who are not close male relatives may see them. The pieces of cloth are to allow them the freedom to participate fully in society and not to be locked away.
What has been discussed many times before is why a woman should not be free to choose to not allow other men to ogle her. Why should she not be allowed to dress modestly - the only person who is disadvantaged is the men who would look at the lady. Most men would not be bothered at all - they see a woman covered up and have to relate to her as a person for what she is and not for what she chooses to wear or not to wear.
Strawberries wrote:Once again I'm not trying to have a go at Muslims and apologise if I've offended anyone. I just want to have a better understanding of Islam and I can't bring up these points with most Muslims I know for fear of offending them. But I also realize what is taught and what is practised often don't add up in many individuals of all religions.
I hope that you get my point that it is grossly unfair to characterise a whole religion, race or gender for the misdemeanours of the minority.
Islam is not alone is advocating modesty in dressing and in mixing of sexes. Around the world you will be hard pressed to tell the difference between a Greek Orthodox, Iranian, Malaysian, Nigerian, Catholic etc etc lady just from the amount of flesh they cover up.
As I said before as well - many a man will thank the lady who decides it is a sign of freedom to dress s.e.x.ily in the uniform of the ladies of the night. I take my hat off to those men who managed to persuade the women to think this way.
Cheers,
Shafique