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MAN LAWS!




1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:

(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss' car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed
and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits
forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden.
However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.

In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At
that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the
weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her
toclimax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulententertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're
sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model and
only when it's free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to
kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies
until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as
much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain
sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza,
but not both, that's just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about
his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours,
except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:

(a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
(b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
(c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:
i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations,
an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone.
Hang up if necessary.

24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend"
have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and
guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the
discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.

25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her
to drive yours.

26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green,
orange or sky blue.

27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics.
Ever.

29: Pull out.

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know
the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the
definition of each is listed below.

"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being
assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are you
still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"

"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of
perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass
and having the balls to say, "You're next!"

We hope this clears up any confusion.

Very funny Concs.
Just one question though....

(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".

Is this the bit when he finds out the woman is a bloke?

Concord wrote:
27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

Sounds like this happened to you...

the_zooter wrote:Very funny Concs.
Just one question though....

(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".

Is this the bit when he finds out the woman is a bloke?

she is must have stepped out of the movie at the wrong time

gr8 post

so how do you see them 2 guys holding hands or arms hooked with each other while strolling the parks and malls in dubai?

30. never mess with another man's fries.

pinoy1 wrote:so how do you see them 2 guys holding hands or arms hooked with each other while strolling the parks and malls in dubai?

Not one of the laws. The legislature will be meeting shortly - onto the agenda it goes.

hahaha...Nice one