Nov 08, 2006
i would suggest it can be explained this way (please, forgive my generalities as obviously not all people can described the same way):
-Guys are, on average, much bigger sluts than girls.
(i mean "fairy" in the the most affirmative, s.e.x-positive, post-christian-morality sorta way, its really neither a good nor a bad thing; nor am i suggesting that all guys are sluts or that its biological rather than social in origin, i would think its much more due to how people are raised.)
Given the fact that most guys are very slutty and will accept no-strings-attached s.e.x with people they're not involved with when its offered, when guys act like sluts, they're congradulated by other guys since its an indication that they're desirable enough for people to want to have meaningless s.e.x with them.
On the other hand, most girls are not sluts and are unwilling to have emotionless meaningless s.e.x with people they weren't involved with under most circumstances. As a result, the non-slutty majority doesn't want s.e.x to be an expectation before emotional intimacy. Consequently, the non-slutty majority will highly resent other girls acting like sluts, as they're in competition with them for guys and being a fairy gives them an 'unfair' advantage...because they figure that if the slutty girls are willing to do things that they're not, they wont have a fair chance, and additionally the more slutty girls there are the more guys will expect people they're with to move faster.
So, girls tend to really hate people who act slutty (whatever that is by the local standards), and they're mean and try to make the slutty girls at their school feel really embarrased about it even though they've done nothing wrong, so as to discourage them for messing up the social dynamics in a way that would make the non-slutty girls less popular. When guys are slutty however, girls don't nessessarily think less of them (though certaintly some do) because they just assume that all of the guys would be slutty if given the opprotunity and they're not in any competition with them so guys being slutty doesn't mess up their social groups as much. If they find guys who have acted sluttily more desirable, its not because they're slutty (which, again, is a characteristic they basically assume all guys have), but because other girls found them desirable, and, in general, people are more likely to want something if their friends want it too.
Guys don't act the same way because most of them are such sluts in the first place that, since they're all that way, any one of them being slutty doesn't affect the social dynamic in a way that reduces the others chances, so they don't resent it. If they do suggest that a girls slutty (which, honestly, is pretty rare) its more likely because they're jealous and resentful that they're the only one she's not willing to fool around with, not because they genuinely have a problem with it as they'd appreciate it if it were directed towards them.
This, by the way, only really applies to fairly immature people in a highly insular environment...its not a big deal when people are more grown up and they're not all dating in the same relatively small group of people.