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One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the

wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma 'am. What are you doing?

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn 't that obvious?")

"You' re in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.

"I' m sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I 'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I 'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I' ll have to charge you with s e x u a l assault," says the woman.
"But I haven' t even touched you," says the game warden.

"That' s true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma' am," and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It' s likely she can also think.

hehehe....very funny

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't
feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for
me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
who
I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to
sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to
take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each
outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond
earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I
was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She
was
almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling
with
excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's
go
to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel
like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
"WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why
can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that
she
knows I'm smarter than her

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't
feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for
me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
who
I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to
sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to
take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each
outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond
earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I
was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She
was
almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling
with
excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's
go
to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel
like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
"WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why
can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that
she
knows I'm smarter than her

hehehe..very amusing!

hehehe..very amusing!


oops..i posted twice...sorri !

the second one was cooll,,, laughed my lungs out

the first one was borin, must be post from a girl..

Need to send the 2nd one to my girl lol

see ya

tins210cd wrote:the second one was cooll,,, laughed my lungs out

the first one was borin, must be post from a girl..

Need to send the 2nd one to my girl lol

see ya

Who is tins?

sage & onion wrote:

tins210cd wrote:the second one was cooll,,, laughed my lungs out

the first one was borin, must be post from a girl..

Need to send the 2nd one to my girl lol

see ya

Who is tins?

i dont knw ??

good one guys!

tins210cd wrote:the second one was cooll,,, laughed my lungs out

the first one was borin, must be post from a girl..

Need to send the 2nd one to my girl lol

see ya

yup second one was very funny, the first one was posted by a girl!!! well sara is usually a girl's name

the 1st joke rocked!

sara_uk wrote:

tins210cd wrote:the second one was cooll,,, laughed my lungs out

the first one was borin, must be post from a girl..

Need to send the 2nd one to my girl lol

see ya

yup second one was very funny, the first one was posted by a girl!!! well sara is usually a girl's name

did'nt they learn anythn from the ur joke

Legendkiller wrote:One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't
feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for
me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
who
I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to
sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to
take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each
outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond
earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I
was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She
was
almost nearing fun satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling
with
excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's
go
to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel
like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
"WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why
can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having fun tonight either....but at least that
she
knows I'm smarter than her

read that in digg longtime ago

Dont worry me human on this earthh

Sorry girl,, but did not find it funny......

catch youl later

tins210cd wrote:Dont worry me human on this earthh

Sorry girl,, but did not find it funny......

catch youl later

But tins, you have no sense of humour

tins210cd wrote:the second one was cooll,,, laughed my lungs out

the first one was borin, must be post from a girl..

Need to send the 2nd one to my girl lol

see ya

I like the first one hehehhe

I can buy my own diamonds! hehe

First one was tops -second one sorry saw it from a mile off. Not bad try though