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Yeah, I am talking about living in one roof like husband and wife but you're not "legally married".

Are there any parameters in this kind of set - up? What are the pros and cons of "living in"?

What happened to women if the living in set - up didn't work?

Are you guys OK with a lady who have had a "live in partner" before? (Be honest)

asc_26 wrote:Yeah, I am talking about living in one roof like husband and wife but you're not "legally married".

Are there any parameters in this kind of set - up? What are the pros and cons of "living in"?

What happened to women if the living in set - up didn't work?

Are you guys OK with a lady who have had a "live in partner" before? (Be honest)

stop drinking it will ruin liver

To be honest when a couple are living together, it makes no difference whether you're married or not. Afterall it's just a bit of paper - right?!

You're either able to live together, or you aren't. To be honest I'd rather find out if a partnership works by living together before tying the knot. Otherwise you could never have spent that amount of time together, suddenly be in each others pockets 24/7 and end up hating it.

Chocoholic wrote:To be honest when a couple are living together, it makes no difference whether you're married or not. Afterall it's just a bit of paper - right?!

You're either able to live together, or you aren't. To be honest I'd rather find out if a partnership works by living together before tying the knot. Otherwise you could never have spent that amount of time together, suddenly be in each others pockets 24/7 and end up hating it.

That's exactly how I see things too but interestingly enough I read some article stating that research showed that divorce rate is actually higher among people who lived together before tying the knot...

I don't think it makes a bit of difference. If you are willing to compromise then it will be "successful".

I think living in set -up is only for man's advantage. Woman is in the losing end when the relationship is unsuccessful.

Also, I view it as "trial and error marriage". Couple in this kind of set up can't be address as husband and wife for the reason they're not married but addressing each as "live in" partner is somewhat derogatory.

Nick81 wrote:

Chocoholic wrote:To be honest when a couple are living together, it makes no difference whether you're married or not. Afterall it's just a bit of paper - right?!

You're either able to live together, or you aren't. To be honest I'd rather find out if a partnership works by living together before tying the knot. Otherwise you could never have spent that amount of time together, suddenly be in each others pockets 24/7 and end up hating it.

That's exactly how I see things too but interestingly enough I read some article stating that research showed that divorce rate is actually higher among people who lived together before tying the knot...

I have learned about this over and over again in Psychology and Social Psych. Many studies have been done. Columbia Univ conducted a study where only 26% of women and 19% of the men ended up marrying the person they were living with. Another study said (based upon interviews with 130,000 people) that 40% of couples in the US who cohabitate break up before marriage. Also 80% of women divorce/separate from the husband if they were living together before marriage. Those who live together before marriage are twice as likely to divorce within 10 years as compared to couples who haven't. These are just naming a few...there are tons. But of course, with all studies there are exceptions, and generalizations should by no means be stated.

I also found this on Discovery Health's Top 10 Marriage Myths:

Marriage Myth 5: Couples who live together before marriage, and are thus able to test how well suited they are for each other, have more satisfying and longer-lasting marriages than couples who do not.

Fact: Many studies have found that those who live together before marriage have less satisfying marriages and a considerably higher chance of eventually breaking up. One reason is that people who cohabit may be more skittish of commitment and more likely to call it quits when problems arise. But in addition, the very act of living together may lead to attitudes that make happy marriages more difficult. The findings of one recent study, for example, suggest "there may be less motivation for cohabiting partners to develop their conflict resolution and support skills." (One important exception: Cohabiting couples who are already planning to marry each other in the near future have just as good a chance at staying together as couples who don't live together before marriage).

Marriage Myth 9: Cohabitation is just like marriage, but without "the piece of paper."

Fact: Cohabitation typically does not bring the benefits — in physical health, wealth and emotional wellbeing — that marriage does. In terms of these benefits, cohabitants in the United States more closely resemble singles than married couples. This is due, in part, to the fact that cohabitants tend not to be as committed as married couples, and they are more oriented toward their own personal autonomy and less to the well-being of their partner.

Here's the link to the rest, it's quite interesting http://health.discovery.com/centers/lov ... myths.html

thx for the post Noni

Very interesting Noni! Thanks for posting the info. The stats seem to blow open most conventional theories about the "benefits" of living together before marriage.

I still think it is fine for men and women to cohabitate before marriage if they choose.

Very intersting facts Noni. Nick I think it's obviously easier to disolve a 'live-in' relationship than if the couple were married, because obviously that has bigger implications, than a couple just parting ways. However in many countries now, couples who've lived together without being married for a certain amount of time, are deemed to have a 'common-law marriage', and therefore things can still get ugly.

From my experience, couples who have lived together for a long time, then got married, seem to divorce quite easily. I wonder if there is correlation between length of time cohabitating and subsequent divorce rates. The quotes stats don't make it clear if that could be a factor. Who knows, maybe people living together a year before marriage still have good chances for their marriage to survive. Anyhow, the divorce rate is many countries is still about 50%, so really you have a 50-50 chance anyway.