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WARNING - DO NOT READ IF YOU LACK A SENSE OF HUMOR
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Source - http://1guysview.blogspot.com/2010/03/h ... anese.html

Excellent!!

Nothing new though, men have know this for ages now LOL

But some of the info isn't accurate

Womens English
Yes = Maybe
Maybe = NO
NO = NO

I wouldn't be surprised if some guys will print that off and then use it as a defense!!!!

"No your honor, it says right here: No means yes!"

Bora Bora wrote:I wouldn't be surprised if some guys will print that off and then use it as a defense!!!!

"No your honor, it says right here: No means yes!"

Its all in jest Bora - these types of jokes are as old as me but still tickle me cos they ring true on several fronts.
I doubt the defense will hold up anyway - men always lose in a battle of words.

Or the judge just tired of the non stop yobbering and decided he's had enough !
In my personal experience most women need to have the last word no matter what ! My mum being one of them. Otherwise "the discussion" could go on for days !

Bora Bora wrote:I wouldn't be surprised if some guys will print that off and then use it as a defense!!!!

Chillax Bora, as the other posters are trying to tell you, This post is just for fun

and you truly are the "Fairest of them all"

Oh sh*t!!!! I forgot to put the big smilely on my post. Here you all go: Geeezzzz.

Bora Bora wrote:Oh sh*t!!!! I forgot to put the big smilely on my post. Here you all go: Geeezzzz.

LOL

Lady, GSOH seeks male LBB, European, for LTR.

Bethsmum wrote:Lady, GSOH seeks male LBB, European, for LTR.

Whats LBB?
LTR....are u sure? I would have said a GT

JoeTGF wrote:

Bethsmum wrote:Lady, GSOH seeks male LBB, European, for LTR.

Whats LBB?
LTR....are u sure? I would have said a GT

Large Bank Balance Joe

And the LTR now suddenly makes sense...

JoeTGF wrote:And the LTR now suddenly makes sense...

BM is not as daft as she looks Joe.

Unintentional post , ! IGNORE !

Right !
LOL

You guys might of heard of this infamous post that involves a girl looking for her special guy. It did the rounds at practically every investment bank at the time. Very amusing.

THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City , so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 100 - 150. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 150,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.



THE ANSWER

Dear Pers-:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard tobelieve that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

____________
Rob Campbell
J.P.Morgan
Diversified Industrials Investment Banking
277 Park Avenue, 16/F, New York , NY 10172

Brilliant !
LOOOL

LMFAO !!!

-- Fri Jan 21, 2011 2:13 pm --

And while we're on the subject of gold diggers ,

http://www.datingonline.org/dating/gold-diggers/ <-- Tips on identifying one.

zubber wrote:Gold-digger - Any woman whose primary interest in a relationship is material benefits. A woman who cares more about a man's bank account than she does about the man.
Source - http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.p ... golddigger

Not referring to anybody here, just posting a definition of the word.

Now see what you've done, Zubber, you've reminded DDS that he thinks I'm a gold digger
I'll refer you back to the time, Zubber, that I pointed out to you I was becoming more attractive to you by the minute when you caught wind of my 'bit' of land in the UK National Park.

Reminded, mores like never forgot

Thinks, more like knows

Oh come on guyz, that bit about the golddigger wasnt directed at anybody , so chill people

desertdudeshj wrote:Reminded, mores like never forgot

Thinks, more like knows

DDS if you have a nice big expensive car, BM might even give you a sniff.

Thanks but no thanks, not intrested in pale and spotty birds

desertdudeshj wrote:Thanks but no thanks, not intrested in pale and spotty birds

Munchkin, it's a while since BM had teenage spots LOL I'm not that pale either!
Have no fear sweetie, I knew there was no danger, BM has seen that Big Red shed you drive! The only way BM would settle for a man so much poorer than her was if he had the body of David Beckham. I somehow don't think you'd fit that criteria either LOL

LOL !

Once again the gold digger anthem !

No romance without finace

desertdudeshj wrote:LOL !

Once again the gold digger anthem !

No romance without finace

You're repeating yourself now Munchkin. Not a good look

Hey oldie but goldie and very fitting, deserves another spin I say.

desertdudeshj wrote:Hey oldie but goldie and very fitting, deserves another spin I say.

Munchkin, BM doesn't want to rain on your parade! I can see you are enjoying your gold digger moment but sweetie, I know how you like to portray yourself as white, but you have never have got the sarcasm or wit in some posts. It's gone straight over your head!
For clarification, when BM refered to a man with a LBB, it was a joke Hard to get for you, I see that now, but I'm afraid it's true. You see you are making a bigger ar$e of yourself than usual and we can't have that can we?
You see, DDS, BM doesn't need a man to bank roll her. Not usually a one to big herself up but now is the moment I feel. You see DDS, not only has BM a very good job, but she also has her own business and is a company director of another business So you see munchkin, BM does it for herself.
Before you rattle of your reply DDS, take heed! There are posters on here who know BM, she is not a BSer!!!
But have no fear sweetie! If I ever did need man to stand the bills, it wouldn't be a taxi driver so you can breathe easy!