Desperate huh? You bin lookin'???
OK, lets look at the flipside of the coin and do the same exercise for the girls shall we? The opinions expressed here are not neccessarily those of the writer however have been gleaned from a variety of sad losers, renowned swordsmen and erstwhile stud muffins...
1. The nice girls tend to complain...mostly about the size of their bums!
2. The gorgeous girls know they are and are therefore up themselves unless you are Brad Pitt or Donald Trump...but they will still date ugly trolls like Bernie Ecclestone or Peter Stringfellow!
3. The gorgeous and nice girls still complain about the size of their bums, but get to park what are, in reality, perfectly fabulous bums next to good looking guys in nice cars and nice places and are destined to become nice and married and fat and happy.
4. The gorgeous, nice and fun girls get the same perks as the gorgeous and nice girls, for a while, until the novelty wears off then they look for a more fun bloke with a bigger car so they can get their over indulged expanding bums into it and eventually will get married out of desperation and will become fat and unhappy.
5. The girls who are not so good looking but are nice, have jobs and are only interested in their 'career'.
6. The girls who are not so good looking but are nice, have jobs and are interested in their 'career', think men are only after them for their money...or their job!
7. The gorgeous girls without money are after a man with money...any money!
8. The gorgeous girls who are not so nice but like a bit of fun, often work for the not so good looking girls who are nice but have jobs so they can afford to go out and have fun and then show off their good looking boyfriends to their not so good looking bosses and make them jealous!
9. The girls who think we are handsome, that are fun, somewhat
nice and have money, need glasses or contact lenses!
10.The girls who are quite good looking, somewhat nice and have some money and like some fun, go out in groups and cling together and cannot be approached without group ridicule or character assasination as the guy must be a complete perv to approach her in the first place and then they go to the loo in pairs and cluster around a single table discussing the affairs of the gorgeous and not so nice girls who are on the other side of the room and have you seen what she is wearing? how can she possibly think that looks good on her and have you seen the shoes? the handbag? where did she get the dreadful jewelry...but who is that she is with? he's a bit of alright....is it your round another shot of tequila ooh make mine a double...ad infinitum!
11.The girls who make the first move or allow a guy to actually talk to them sensibly rather than deflecting them using their automatic 'jerk' detectors...sometimes meet the men of their dreams. Have relationships, get married, have babies and further the species. "And they all lived happily ever after."
Who can understand women? You set the rules and then change them without warning and at a moments notice to suit your monthly mood swing or whether the new shoes you bought today are 'quite' right and rubbing in all the right places making it impossible to walk any further than 3 consecutive feet...
There is only one answer: Chocolate!
Now I shall sit here quietly and await the incoming fire...with my lightsabre in full defensive mode and shields up! Take cover!!!!
Knight