Dubai Forums Dubai Discussions Dubai Romance

desertdudeshj wrote:Well actually there are Emaratis with some kind of connection with the orient. There used to be a market in the 80's in sharjah called, baldiaya ( Muncipality ) market where most of the owners were mostly these "chinese emaratis".

Although I must say I have seen less and less of them, to almost a point I haven't seen one in ages. Last one I remember was one named Usman. Never did get acquainted well enough to find out actual heritage.

Maybe some of our Emarati members can shed some light on this ?

LOL, oriental LOL

Flying Dutchman wrote:You only know a person after living a year and a half together.

I lived with mine for about that time before getting married and still got a surprise after. Mine even changes personality depending on where he lives. For example, I will never live in his home country again. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

-- Sat Oct 23, 2010 8:34 am --

Bora Bora wrote:Also noticed how well housemaids must be getting paid. Never saw so many driving Mercs, BMWs, Jags, with so much gold on the ears, wrists, and fingers, and looking very smug at us Westerners. Reminds me of the saying: you've come a long way baby!!!

Well, my American friend who is Filipino was just on a business trip to Dubai and remarked about how she was viewed and treated by others. Perhaps people shouldn't assume that those who look Filipino/Indonesian/Sri Lankan are housemaids or former housemaids, because they just may be professionals of any kind with citizenship from anywhere. As for smug looks at Westerners, I'll just have to take your word for it.

Sadly some people like to assume an awful lot about certain nationalities here. Doesn't surprise me when they get a shock.

Chocoholic wrote:Sadly some people like to assume an awful lot about certain nationalities here. Doesn't surprise me when they get a shock.

While I was posted in Riyadh (KSA), I once met a visiting Pakistani American who told me something funny, and also sad at the same time. BTW, this guy has a PhD, and is well renowned in the world in his field (wrote many books and articles and taught in one of the ivory universities in the States).

He said when he landed at the airport, one immigration officer told him, in Arabic, with a stern face and voice,” Come over here, Rafeeq.” This term is used by the locals when calling Pakistani and Indian laborers and street cleaners.” This term, in KSA, is considered somewhat derogatory and belittling by many people.

Being a highly educated, well known and highly respected person in the US, he obviously felt insulted.

I don’t blame him!!!

And alternatively, at work, we employ stateless Arab males as drivers, tea boy’s etc and one day Abdullah, dressed in his Kandoura and a white turban wrapped loosely around his head, entered a meeting room where we were host to a foreign delegation whereupon the leader of the delegation rose to his feet, greeted Abdullah in his best Arabic, introduced himself and offered his hand to shake while waiting expectantly for a return introduction, totally shocked initially, Abdullah shook the man’s hand and continued in his best English, Welcome! and what would you like to drink?

Seems someone might have had an epiphany.

My point was "people watching", which I'm sure we all do. Rather than people going and coming before your eyes, there are times you take a closer look as you watch - become more observant. Women probably do it more because they are looking at clothing, hairstyles, etc.

While observing people it brought to mind how the "face" of Dubai has changed. There is huge a Phillipino population now in Dubai. When I arrived in Dubai you could probably count the population on both hands. It made me think back to a time when industries, in particular the service industries, were dominated with Indian employees, which have now seem to have been replaced with Phillipino staff. This change is no different from other countries where one segment either moves away or moves up. On every level of employment there are more and more Phillipinos. I would have to say that they dominate staffing in medical facilities due to their education and they are more "westernized". Way too many Phillipinos take jobs below their qualifications out of necessity. Sadly, there are many mothers and parents here who are forced to leave their children back home.

Then you have those who are enticed by the glitter and glam that is held out before them, which becomes too tempting and fall into another lifestyle. I'm sure they never came to Dubai with stars in their eyes, but only to make enough money to provide for families back home, but they take another path and many are taken advantage of in the process. I know of people, or who know people, where these girls are the second wife or kept mistresses. I also have heard of stories of how some return to the Phillipines as they became pregnant. And yes, there are looks of being smug and challenging, and this usually comes from those women attached to some guy 20+ years older. Kanelli, you haven't been in Dubai for some time, it has changed.

Sad story: my husband's nephew revealed this to me recently. Last year he married a girl from Egypt. It was an arranged marriage. It turns out that on the day of his marriage he didn't want to be there. He kept this inside of himself until he told me recently: he had been in love with another person. He realizes now that he did what he thought was expected of him, rather than do what he wanted to do, which was to marry the person he truly loved.

His wife stayed in Egypt for a few months and then joined him in Dubai. Within 1 month his marriage was over. He never blamed her, he took the blame, and rightfully so. I asked him what happened to the girl he loved and he told me that she went back to the Phillipines and married. His heart still aches. My heart ached for him. He kept this girl a secret from everyone. I told him that had I known what he was going through at the time I would have told him to not marry, leave the ceremony before he committed himself and marry the girl he loved. I am the only one in a very large family that he talks to about his personal life. I so wish that he had spoken to me before he married. It would have saved the embarrassment, hurt, fighting amongst so many people (two families), and so much more, had he spoken out. For me, if the girl had a third eye and he loved her and wanted to marry her, he would have my blessing and support. I told him that whoever he meets, she is welcome in my home and family.

I live in Singapore where there are many Filipinos, housemaids, and Asian women marrying ancient Western dudes.

kanelli wrote:I live in Singapore where there are many Filipinos, housemaids, and Asian women marrying ancient Western dudes.

For some reason I thought you were living in Canada.

No, but will be

kanelli wrote:I live in Singapore where there are many Filipinos, housemaids, and Asian women marrying ancient Western dudes.

Yeah, seeing these old Western geezers with much younger Oriental wives has become an ordinary sight all over the world.

Some even look too funny. One time I saw a 65+ white man holding hands with a Filipina in her 20’s. He was a big guy, and about 3 times taller than her!!! His wife was small, frail and barely coming to his hips!!!

I remember when I was in Dubai we used to have an older American in our office, who was married to a much younger girl from the Philippines.

I had a talk with him one day, and he said he was very happy. He admitted there was no love to speak of between them, esp. from her side, but he didn’t mind at all.

He told me I know she married me only for the money and to get the blue passport, but he said I also married her for the things she can give me. He boasted that she really spoils me to death. He says she shaves me in the morning, gives me a nice back rub at night, cuts my nails, gives me a haircut, cooks, cleans and takes care of me pretty well. Plus, needless to say, the s*ex is great!! He said I didn’t get any of that from my former American wife. Therefore, I don’t regret marrying this girl whatsoever!!

She gives me what I want and I give her what she wants. It’s a win-win situation for both of us!!!

Plus he said we older Westerners working overseas cannot usually find older Western women to marry outside the Western world. So marrying oriental girls works out just great for us.

He honestly made a sensible argument to me!!

But what do you think, you liberated DF ladies, BB, Chocs, BM, Kanelli….????

At least you can think of what this guy said, the next time you see such couple in the mall!!!

There is something very disturbing about it when two people, who could have been daughter and farther age wise, engage in se.x.

Tom Jones wrote:

kanelli wrote:I live in Singapore where there are many Filipinos, housemaids, and Asian women marrying ancient Western dudes.

Yeah, seeing these old Western geezers with much younger Oriental wives has become an ordinary sight all over the world.

Some even look too funny. One time I saw a 65+ white man holding hands with a Filipina in her 20’s. He was a big guy, and about 3 times taller than her!!! His wife was small, frail and barely coming to his hips!!!

I remember when I was in Dubai we used to have an older American in our office, who was married to a much younger girl from the Philippines.

I had a talk with him one day, and he said he was very happy. He admitted there was no love to speak of between them, esp. from her side, but he didn’t mind at all.

He told me I know she married me only for the money and to get the blue passport, but he said I also married her for the things she can give me. He boasted that she really spoils me to death. He says she shaves me in the morning, gives me a nice back rub at night, cuts my nails, gives me a haircut, cooks, cleans and takes care of me pretty well. Plus, needless to say, the s*ex is great!! He said I didn’t get any of that from my former American wife. Therefore, I don’t regret marrying this girl whatsoever!!

She gives me what I want and I give her what she wants. It’s a win-win situation for both of us!!!

Plus he said we older Westerners working overseas cannot usually find older Western women to marry outside the Western world. So marrying oriental girls works out just great for us.

He honestly made a sensible argument to me!!

But what do you think, you liberated DF ladies, BB, Chocs, BM, Kanelli….????

At least you can think of what this guy said, the next time you see such couple in the mall!!!

At least he sees it for what it is, which I highly doubt the majority can; doubt most can come to terms with it, knowing that she's saving for that day when you die. Unfortunately many men leave behind an ex-wife to get those services. Sorry, being in your 20s and rubbing crepe paper skin isn't my idea of romance. If there is no love on her side, then what would you call it - prostitution without the guilt?

And when I see that couple in the mall, my stomach will flip thinking about it.

BB,

Of course such a marriage seems to be somewhat repulsive!

I honestly couldn’t see myself doing something like this when I’m in my 60’s or 70's. It just doesn’t seem right. If I did, I wouldn’t be able to look at myself in the mirror everyday, knowing that I might’ve taken advantage of a poor girl from the Philippines.

However, what these people are doing is 100% legal, and it’s done with the full consent of the two individual adults. It’s actually sort of a business arrangement, that‘s beneficial to both sides. No one is forcing anyone to do anything they don't want to do, and no one is lying to the other. They both walked into such a relationship with their eyes wide open.

And obviously, this is his and her choice. Who are we to tell them that they cannot exercise such a choice..

Sure, it is a loveless marriage, but so are many thousands of other “regular” marriages such as arranged marriages , or marriages that went kaput but the couple is staying together for the sake of the children, or for tax benefits, or under social and political pressures...etc!!!

Not all things in life are pleasant and palatable. And sadly, people will continue making bad choices everyday!!!

local women can not marry forginers ?

Some of the older Western men that I have met (as in spent an afternoon with or had meal with in a social group) who are dating or married to much younger Asian women have been very socially awkward in my opinion. Most have never been married - ever. A few are definitely chauvinists and they are not interested in well-educated successful women closer to their age, but prefer less educated younger women who will look up to them and depend on them and put up with them because they are the head of the relationship. So, while this may seem like a win-win situation, I still feel there is an element of exploitation. These guys going on a Sunday to a maid's disco to find themselves a woman... they know that they can find someone who will put up with a lot because it is better than living in poverty back in their country. This past year I know of two housemaids who have gone back to the Philippines pregnant, dumped by their expat boyfriends. They thought that getting pregnant would snag them a husband, but those guys had no intention of marrying, they just liked the pampering and the s.ex. These ladies could be exploiting these men for their money, but most of these men are not extremely wealthy and the women will end up in trouble if they move abroad and the relationship fails. They may lose the ability to see or live with their kids, and if they don't have good education or job skills, how do they support themselves and their kids if they wanted to divorce, or if their old husband kicks off! I think the men almost always win in this situation, and the women roll the dice that their lives will improve and not become harder than it was back home.

uaekid wrote:local women can not marry forginers ?

Kid, if you are talking about westerners, you know very well it is very rare, as long as he is a Muslim or willing to convert and the family - mother and father - are progressive in thinking and believe as long as their daughter is happy and loves him.

If you consider Saudi, Kuwaiti, Qatari, Bahraini, etc., as foreigners, then yes.

Bora Bora wrote:

uaekid wrote:local women can not marry forginers ?

Kid, if you are talking about westerners, you know very well it is very rare, as long as he is a Muslim or willing to convert and the family - mother and father - are progressive in thinking and believe as long as their daughter is happy and loves him.

If you consider Saudi, Kuwaiti, Qatari, Bahraini, etc., as foreigners, then yes.

they are free to marry whom they want as long as he is a Muslim, it does not matter his nationality . whom do you mean is stopping them.gov or their families ?

The dubai Grand Mufti did call for curb in marriage to foreigners back in ramadan, I think he went as far as saying it was haram !

kanelli wrote:Some of the older Western men that I have met (as in spent an afternoon with or had meal with in a social group) who are dating or married to much younger Asian women have been very socially awkward in my opinion. Most have never been married - ever. A few are definitely chauvinists and they are not interested in well-educated successful women closer to their age, but prefer less educated younger women who will look up to them and depend on them and put up with them because they are the head of the relationship. So, while this may seem like a win-win situation, I still feel there is an element of exploitation. These guys going on a Sunday to a maid's disco to find themselves a woman... they know that they can find someone who will put up with a lot because it is better than living in poverty back in their country. This past year I know of two housemaids who have gone back to the Philippines pregnant, dumped by their expat boyfriends. They thought that getting pregnant would snag them a husband, but those guys had no intention of marrying, they just liked the pampering and the s.ex. These ladies could be exploiting these men for their money, but most of these men are not extremely wealthy and the women will end up in trouble if they move abroad and the relationship fails. They may lose the ability to see or live with their kids, and if they don't have good education or job skills, how do they support themselves and their kids if they wanted to divorce, or if their old husband kicks off! I think the men almost always win in this situation, and the women roll the dice that their lives will improve and not become harder than it was back home.

Sure, there is some truth in what you're saying, but I don't think these girls are that dumb. They know whom to target in the first place. They invariably hone in on old timers with sizable assets and fat bank accounts!!!

Certainly, the girls are taking a big chance, and the old geezers are also well aware of what these girls are after!! But I guess both sides feel that the price they're paying is worth it to them!!!!!

uaekid wrote:

Bora Bora wrote:

uaekid wrote:local women can not marry forginers ?

Kid, if you are talking about westerners, you know very well it is very rare, as long as he is a Muslim or willing to convert and the family - mother and father - are progressive in thinking and believe as long as their daughter is happy and loves him.

If you consider Saudi, Kuwaiti, Qatari, Bahraini, etc., as foreigners, then yes.

they are free to marry whom they want as long as he is a Muslim, it does not matter his nationality . whom do you mean is stopping them.gov or their families ?

Kid, we are talking about the women, not the men. The reference to foreigners, generally speaking, refers to westerners and those outside Arab nationalities. Women are not "free" to make the choice of who they want to marry, especially foreigners. 99% of them have a marginal choice of those that the family has selected as their future husband (as in arranged marriage). You can see plenty of men married to foreign women, which may account for so many single local women but rarely do you see a local woman married to a "foreigner". Let's also factor in that single local women can't even date within their own circle without having a third party along to make sure that their behavior is proper.

I expected a better intelligent observation from you bora bora, but since you are new to our culture and rely on books then I guess you could make such a mistake of thinking that what you have stated above is nearly a fact.

New to the culture??? I've lived in Dubai for a total of 13 years, so I would hardly call that "new". Kid, one doesn't have to live within the culture to know about marriage. For goodness sakes, there is a ton of information/facts about Muslim women and marriage. And what better way to know about it, than to actually see and talk to people from within (Dubai) or read about it by Muslim authors.

Next you are going to tell me that in Islam first cousins don't marry first cousins, which is something only rednecks do in the US. (FYI: that isn't true for the US).

You should stop now because you are embarrassing yourself due to your own embarrassment of your tradition/culture, which there is nothing to be embarrassed about by the way. It is what it is.

Bora Bora wrote:New to the culture??? I've lived in Dubai for a total of 13 years, so I would hardly call that "new". Kid, one doesn't have to live within the culture to know about marriage. For goodness sakes, there is a ton of information/facts about Muslim women and marriage. And what better way to know about it, than to actually see and talk to people from within (Dubai) or read about it by Muslim authors.

Next you are going to tell me that in Islam first cousins don't marry first cousins, which is something only rednecks do in the US. (FYI: that isn't true for the US).

You should stop now because you are embarrassing yourself due to your own embarrassment of your tradition/culture, which there is nothing to be embarrassed about by the way. It is what it is.

wow easy girl, I just woke up now I'm not talking about Islam or Muslim women here, I'm talking about UAE girls boro bora ,which is what this thread is about.so lets not go further .

you gave a fact that 99% of women including UAE girls has an arranged marriage, your talking about those girls me and you see at the mall ? do you think that they can be forced into marrying whom their family wants for them ? I’m sorry but you are really underestimating them and their power now a days being more independents and stronger than ever . they became bosses at work “hate that” ,drive their won cars and run their businesses ,pretty much run their own lives borabora … if you think that can we force those into an arranged marriage, then you are really off track.

I’m not saying this in their defense, but I myself is shocked that this happened very quick and the fact that you are not given your own gander the credit they deserve .

The issue of arranged marriage of Arabs is a fact borabora but now it is a stereotype more than a fact when we talk about UAE women, but they mostly get advices from their moms or an approval from their dad is a culture thing more than a force factor bora, it comes with the family values they were raised with, and to them is an important part when they get married and I hope you would respect that.

I’m not trying to win an argument her bora more than clearing to you how things are in now a days reality , yes there are still a good number of arranged marriage but very little.


This is in concern of the original thread subject :
There is no law that states emeriti women can not marry non Emiratis , however the gov made it clear that this family will not have the UAE nationality rights like the husband gaining a UAE nationality or a land …. And it is funny actually bcz ones they passed that law , the non emirates “stopped popping the question “ !!! but there are no restrictions form the government side.

Interesting, just one question here, I m not sure but I think I've heard if an Emirati girl married a non Emirati, she will lose her Emirati nationality!!! Is this true?

not at all.

She can never lose her nationality unless she chooses to become a national of another country, but she does lose all the 'rights' that are normally associated with that nationality.

As for ' the girls walking around the malls', yes Kid I am sure they have a comparative amount of freedom compared to those not mall crawling as a pastime, however they do still comply with the mores of UAE social behaviour and wear their abayas and sheylas, albeit cut to emphasise their figure and adorned with diamante and rhinestone. This is an obvious attempt to attract the opposite s.e.x., however who are they trying to attract?

Back to the subject of the thread.

Unlike the normal order in nature, in order to attract the right potential life partner, the females must 'display' their plumage...



Knight

uaekid wrote:

Bora Bora wrote:New to the culture??? I've lived in Dubai for a total of 13 years, so I would hardly call that "new". Kid, one doesn't have to live within the culture to know about marriage. For goodness sakes, there is a ton of information/facts about Muslim women and marriage. And what better way to know about it, than to actually see and talk to people from within (Dubai) or read about it by Muslim authors.

Next you are going to tell me that in Islam first cousins don't marry first cousins, which is something only rednecks do in the US. (FYI: that isn't true for the US).

You should stop now because you are embarrassing yourself due to your own embarrassment of your tradition/culture, which there is nothing to be embarrassed about by the way. It is what it is.

wow easy girl, I just woke up now I'm not talking about Islam or Muslim women here, I'm talking about UAE girls boro bora ,which is what this thread is about.so lets not go further .

you gave a fact that 99% of women including UAE girls has an arranged marriage, your talking about those girls me and you see at the mall ? do you think that they can be forced into marrying whom their family wants for them ? I’m sorry but you are really underestimating them and their power now a days being more independents and stronger than ever . they became bosses at work “hate that” ,drive their won cars and run their businesses ,pretty much run their own lives borabora … if you think that can we force those into an arranged marriage, then you are really off track.

I’m not saying this in their defense, but I myself is shocked that this happened very quick and the fact that you are not given your own gander the credit they deserve .

The issue of arranged marriage of Arabs is a fact borabora but now it is a stereotype more than a fact when we talk about UAE women, but they mostly get advices from their moms or an approval from their dad is a culture thing more than a force factor bora, it comes with the family values they were raised with, and to them is an important part when they get married and I hope you would respect that.

I’m not trying to win an argument her bora more than clearing to you how things are in now a days reality , yes there are still a good number of arranged marriage but very little.


This is in concern of the original thread subject :
There is no law that states emeriti women can not marry non Emiratis , however the gov made it clear that this family will not have the UAE nationality rights like the husband gaining a UAE nationality or a land …. And it is funny actually bcz ones they passed that law , the non emirates “stopped popping the question “ !!! but there are no restrictions form the government side.

UAE girls = local, Kid.

As for the new generation, I give you that they are progressive in the work force, and especially education, by far more so than the male locals. They are working towards independence and higher education - and I say good for them. They are proving that they don't need a man to make it in this world. But what they will find that they will outnumber the men. Same problem Saudi Arabia has with educated women and lazy, uneducated men.

Today's generation of women are by far much more ambitious than the men, for which I applaud them. BUT, the issue of marriage will always be there. Parents approval will always be a factor, and the last generation isn't very wide open to non-locals. But that is where the difference lies, this generation, when they marry, will not put the restrictions on their children that are placed on them. Women are slowly taking ownership of their own lives, but it will still take time for them to be able to make their own decisions with regard to a husband. How many local women do you know that live an independent life? Who have their own apartments? Who go on dates? Yes many have a career, drive a BMW, Merc, whatever, but they still live home and won't leave home until they marry, unlike single foreign women who come here as young as 22 and live a totally independent life, make their own choices and live their own life.

This is not a win/lose discussion, but a matter of you portraying local women as being as independent as a "foreigner" (westerners?), which is not the case. I totally respect the process of marriage and the culture, and am not passing judgment on it. As I said: it is what it is.

As for mixed marriages, I have only seen local men with foreigner wives. I have yet to see in Dubai a local woman married to a "foreigner", probably because it is rare. I know of only one woman, a divorced Omani woman who married a Brit. It was her second marriage and he went through the process of converting to Islam in order for them to be married.

On of my Pakistani friends is married to a local, he had to whisk her away to pakistan and get married, her father being an influential man would never allow this to happen here. You forget the Father/guardian still has to give his permission legaly for it to happen.

And yes she was not stripped from her nationality but most rights that come with it were. Their daughter was refused local citizenship and is now a Pakistani citizen.