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I just wanted to share my love experience here in Dubai...

I broke up with my bf of 3 and a half years almost 6 months ago. Until now, i still feel im stuck with him. Im confused whether because of unsettled money matters or just because im plain stupid and madly in love.

It's a very complicated relationship...

We are supposed to get married this coming September.

Last October, I took a loan from the bank and gave him the money for establishing our business. Our relationship started to shatter very fast. We started arguing about money, decision-making etc... his family and all... BTW, most of the staff are hisfamily and I was not even informed, I just knew it when his brothers arrived in Dubai and started working with us.

Then, when I started to question the money, why, how, all the things regarding the business... he started to become cold to me. Was telling me that I cannot accept his family... Our relationship shattered just like the WTC in NY...

February - he told me he wanted us to separate, the next day after he left the country for his work-related trip

March - when he came back and told me his family refused us to separate and we will go on to our wedding plan, just after 3 days he left again and a week after he went home to his country.

April - he came back to Dubai, to my surprise, he is already engaged, not engaged but finally engaged!

May - he lost his job and started to see me again almost everyday. just like the good old days, I can say.

June - he went home again, for a good vacation he said, when he came back here again, I just learned from his family that he is married! Perfect, right!

I learned that the date for our 'engagement party', which didnt happen obviously and is his wedding day.

But the saddest part is the financial matter. I am left with the loan and credits. I am running after him because of my money and the biggest mistake is that I cannot have the business because he had placed it under his name only.

Now, I cannot remember the good things we had when we were together. It's very to recall even one of them. Everything has been over-shadowed by the troubles he has caused me.

Can anyone tell me if this is forgivable? He is my failure... Ive never had any money problems in my entire life... And nobody had hurt me as much as this...

I felt he deceived me... all of them deceived me...

what a pig! He doesnt deserve your love or your honey! errmm I mean weariness ...

Stay right here in this Forum..for sure you will hear different kinds of insights to your situation.

To answer your Q above...if its still forgivable? Yeah I think so but just not yet...maybe after gazillion years it will be.

geez a difficult one and i feel for you.

Sometimes, the mistakes we learn in life the quickest, are the ones we "pay for" both at financial and personal cost.

On reading your post you seem to have "head and heart" decisions.

Sometimes in life we just have to walk away putting the "cost" behind us.

I am sure there will be other valuble advice to come from other forumers. Respect to you for being brave enough to seek help and advise, and talking about it.

zam wrote:To answer your Q above...if its still forgivable? Yeah I think so but just not yet...maybe after gazillion years it will be.

Unforgivable. Ring the police and accuse him of being a trickster. You will find they should actually be sympathetic to your cause, so long as you can prove you had no improper relations, so-to-speak.

Drag him through the courts and get him deported with a big black stamp.

unforgivable, collect proof against him , call the cops and get him outta here. what he did has no excuse.

Guys what your saying can be easily said than done.

How on earth can he nail that b@stard Any idea Without any paperwork or proof

zam wrote:Guys what your saying can be easily said than done.

How on earth can he nail that b@stard Any idea Without any paperwork or proof

She should go to CID with her story. It is their job to assemble the proof, or at least investigate.

It would help if she knows someone in the Police that could ensure something happens.

money brings out the worst in ppl. that is why its never good totally depending or having smbody totally depend on you.

as for you still possibly being in love with him...they say love is blind. id say true love is not only not blind, but it opens your eyes. since u have been blind and fooled by this guy, obviously it wasnt true love. i call this type of men parasite. so forget about ur feelings toward him, most probably it is only ur hurt ego that cannot accept that u have been cheated and is trying to find excuses for him.

like u said it urself, now the most important is to fix this financial mess you are in. and learn from this experience not to ever trust anybody without taking precautions.

Jeevan wrote:unforgivable, collect proof against him , call the cops and get him outta here. what he did has no excuse.

he is expert, and she is innocent. she cant collect any proof against him. he wil play game again. u need to take ur closed friends help to take any action. its time to use ur mind not heart.

yeah my brain is telling me that no way this guy deserves me... but what to do now, ive been cheated..

but to tell you, somehow deep down in my heart, im telling my self that Im still lucky becasue Im not the woman who will be him forever... and imarrying him might be biggest mistake.

maybe the only reason why im stuck with him is becasue of the unsettled money issues. he is always telling me that he'll pay me so and so... i dont know when until I finally get tired calling him hundred times, literally. and Ive been bugging his family in his country as well. and what a shame they found out that their son is a crook.

a 'parasite' is far better than him. i ran out of description for him.

i once tell him this: "Before, I thought you're just worth 50,000. And then after, whenever I see your face, I saw 5 dirhams. But now, i dont know anymore because even 5 fils is too expensive for you. You're so cheap!"

I just wish he'll end up in jail for he has so many people that he swindled.

Anyhow, I know God is fair. Someday, somehow, he will pay the price that he took from me and even much more. Im sure.

gLoBalTeCh wrote:

Jeevan wrote:unforgivable, collect proof against him , call the cops and get him outta here. what he did has no excuse.

he is expert, and she is innocent. she cant collect any proof against him. he wil play game again. u need to take ur closed friends help to take any action. its time to use ur mind not heart.

Crap. She should contact the CID, and not be put off by wrong advice like this.

gLoBalTeCh wrote:

Jeevan wrote:unforgivable, collect proof against him , call the cops and get him outta here. what he did has no excuse.

he is expert, and she is innocent. she cant collect any proof against him. he wil play game again. u need to take ur closed friends help to take any action. its time to use ur mind not heart.

Whatever by hook or by crook, with friends help or CID's help, but without proof nothings gonna happen.

I know its easier said than done, but imagine urself in her position do u think u would have let go? nope u would have fought back. thats all. fight back and teach him a lesson.

Jerry

but how will i contact the CID or police? the first thing they asked me is if I have any paper that he sign blah blah blah. Unfortunately, i dont have, we have agreed verbally only....

maybe if anyone knows someone that i can ask help, it would be very much appreciated....

thanks again.

when u meet him next time do a recording, a spy cam or a voice recorder, i know it sounds far fetched but thats what comes to my mind, get a confession out of him that he owes u money.

jerry

weary_heart wrote:but how will i contact the CID or police?

Go into your nearest police station.

the first thing they asked me is if I have any paper that he sign blah blah blah. Unfortunately, i dont have, we have agreed verbally only....

You won't know unless you try. A lot of agreements are done her verbally, and whilst a signed document is good support, if you tell your story, calmly and accurately, then they might be in a position to do something, or assist you in getting the evidence you.

I have been suffering from this dilemma for several months. I want to go to the police but I know I will not get anything. What I can do only is to bug him, his family and ask for my money. That is the least I can do.

Thanks jeevan. Ihave tried that. all our conversation has been recorded. all my conversation to all af his family has been recorded and I told also the police that what i have is only recorded calls. But it isnt enough.

Has anyone know a trusted CID that I can approach?

hmm now i have run out of ideas. but cant they do a voice and frequency match of the recording with the actual voice?

First off, do you have any proof that you gave the money to him? If you have paperwork proving that you gave it to him for the business you can at least try and make him accountable for the loan.

Also, what nationality are you both? Seeing as you had been together for so long and living together (i assume), in many countries this is seen as having a common law partner and therefor each person in the relationship, married or not, is entitled to something like a divorce settlement. Also because you were engaged and it was never broken off before he went and got married, and you can prove it, you could say he committed adultery.

There are ways and means. THis guy is scum.

Is it really a big amount?

the thing is, if you really drag this to court if you have enough proof...you will have to spend a lot as well...aside from the stress, the digging of all awful stories between the two of you ..coz for sure he will do his best to prove his innocense..

I know its wrong to say ..just forget about what happen and move on because he really needs to suffer for what he had done...but you'll have to suffer the consequences as well if you fight against him...

Youre right God is good...somehow ..someday....he'll pay for it..i believe in karma..

isabela wrote:Youre right God is good...somehow ..someday....he'll pay for it..i believe in karma..

Some people can wait around for the person to come back as a grasshopper, but I prefer instant karma. Take the bastard to the cleaners.

the total amount is like 70,000. the loan i took is 50,000 and this is only what im asking him to pay for. the rest is for the credit cards and i can handle those.

im an asian and he's an arab.

honestly, sometimes im thinking of something really not good just to get even. but it's not right i know.

he once told me, if i go to police, i will be the one in trouble and not him. though he might be bluffing that time, so also bluffed him last saturday when i told him that our conversation has been recorded and i was with the CID's.

he immediately called me and said i will not get anything from him. and so the next day, i told him that i wont do that to him and it's good i heard it from his own mouth that he isnt gonna pay me. at least i can do something to solve the problem in the bank.

late that evening, he called me (a miracle) telling me that he will go to the bank and try to solve the matter. i dunno what he did or whatever lie he told the bank. but definitely, i am sure that he was rattled when i told him im going to the police...

so far that is the latest in my story...

thank you guys...

I don't really know you so I can't offer to arrange anything but wondering whether this guy is arab local or just arab?

weary_heart
i agree with zam on this he is a pig
i understand that after 3 years of relationship u r still stuck with him but the first thing u have to is to deal with is ur feelings: get him out of ur system! and when it comes to him use only ur brain, keep ur heart away...only so u will be able to have no mercy on him again.

it's pointless to say that it was a mistake that u gave him the money and allowing him to register the business by his name. go to the police, make a complaint and even if it won't get solved on the spot, at least he will get that u r not playin anymore! such ba$tard does not desearve any mercy or concideration.

@ alexandra:

if letting him out of my system is as fast as spittin', i could have done that. im stuck with him because of money matters, but emotionally I have gotten over it.

frankly, even anger doesnt exist in me. just i feel nothing for him.

i even told him i wish him the best, i just hope he will not meet a person like him...

i just hope and pray that this nightmare will soon end...

alexandra wrote:go to the police, make a complaint and even if it won't get solved on the spot, at least he will get that u r not playin anymore! such ba$tard does not desearve any mercy or concideration.

and it will help if you can link the loan in your name to the money you then loaned to him... I hope you were not silly enough to give him the money in cash

well miss. i dont usually reply.. but donno i actually read all of ur thing... being a boy.. and gods giveness.. i am not so bad in looks. i cud have played arund like him but i dont believe in love. but if love happens yeh u have to b not a lover only but a NICE HUMAN which he didnt proove to be. yeh u have to forgive him wht he did coz u r not HIM. with that dont ever think of him. or hispresence in ur life.. or anything related to him. remove that chapter like a bad memory. look u understand it 2day or later. he was the reason of that financial thing. but god forbid u cud have faced it with some other reason. so god taught u in 2 way.. HIS BAD PART n financial thing whic cud happen.. so better 4get him. 4give him. and yeh.. financial thiing will b over in few years. but dear.. get a life.. forget him.. he will and he has 2 come back to u sooner or later.. but dont expect.. jst live a live...
u kno why im writying it. coz its easy 2 share ur personal things with ur close friends.. but when u dont have any 1 u jst need to speak out. thats wht u did.. so u got hundreds of eyes and hear and ofcourse hearts.. to understand wht u felt.. to som ho u r a winner n he s not.
gtg.. take care.. bbye

Thanks ryan. After all the shit that he has given to me, I am over him. And I am only thinking of the bad things that he did to me.

Here is what you should do:

1. go to a lawyer and consult, the initial consultation may eve be free.
2. the lawyer will advise you on whether you can prove your case or not and what you need to prove it - the police are not lawyers.
3. if the price is right even a phone call from the lawyer or a letter from the lawyer will be enought to scare the sh$t out of this guy. He will think that the lawyer could go to immigration, business registration or whatever.
4. don't let him know that you are struggling for money for the lawyer. make up a story that someone who knows about the situation thought it was a really crappy thing to do and will pay the legal expenses no matter how high (but only say this if he mentions money for legal fees becuase he will probagly bluff and say "go ahed sue me you don't have the money...").
5. even if there is no criminal case you could have a civil case (that's what no. 1 above is for.

6. bottom line don't wast too much energy and time with it.
7. you could tell him that the lawyers told you not to talk to him so that all he needs to do is pay you the money and not talk and that "you will talk to him after" but of course don't talk to him. just telling him that will help because he could also be guilty of harrasment if he insist on calling you. at the very least it will make him "think" let him do the sweating and worrying now.

If all fails run him over - no don't do that. Just move on and chuck it to "experience" as someone (Arnie?) said before.


or you could ask hp to pay for it as he is used to that kind of thing based on his recent post.
good luck.

thanks arnie.

everythign you have mentioned were almost done. he is really such a professional crook.

what i have in mind is the macchiavellian theorem.

Any update?